Australia barring UK citizens from standing for their parliament

[Guest Lady Penelope]

You are a colony so this rule is treason.

[Guest judgetwi]

 No.......and no. I think we’ve had enough of poking our noses into other peoples’ countries and telling them what to do. Scum like the Blairs and their rich pals fill their pockets while the rest of us have to pay for it. It’s their fucking country they can do what they like. 

[Guest Lady Penelope]

22 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

 No.......and no. I think we’ve had enough of poking our noses into other peoples’ countries and telling them what to do. Scum like the Blairs and their rich pals fill their pockets while the rest of us have to pay for it. It’s their fucking country they can do what they like. 

Reactionary .. they are a convict colony and therefore part of England.

[southerncunt]

9 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

Reactionary .. they are a convict colony and therefore part of England.

And you Pen, are one of the pit ponies of the human race too stupid to see a great opportunity when presented. Fuckwit.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

21 minutes ago, southerncunt said:

And you Pen, are one of the pit ponies of the human race too stupid to see a great opportunity when presented. Fuckwit.

Was it cramped on the convict ship?

[Mrs Roops]

20 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

Was it cramped on the convict ship?

Pen, can I just chip in and say running a Punkape emulation programme really does not work for you.

[Last Cunt Standing]

Surfers Paradise vs Newquay

Apollo Bay vs Sandbanks

Great Ocean Road vs The Needles

Melbourne vs Manchester (sorry Manky)

Sydney vs London

yeah, we really knew how to sock it to the sheep rustlers, didn’t we?

Australia is a fabulous country, with fabulous people. Sitting on the edge of the Pacific trading area which will keep them prosperous for the next 200 years. 

However crisp the Autumn morning is here, I’d rather be knocking back a Hunter Valley White watching the sunset any day of the week. 

I’d sign up for “the colony” in a flash, and i’m happy to waive my right to stand for Parliament ( why would you choose to live in Canberra, anyway?).

[Decimus]

10 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Surfers Paradise vs Newquay

Apollo Bay vs Sandbanks

Great Ocean Road vs The Needles

Melbourne vs Manchester (sorry Manky)

Sydney vs London

yeah, we really knew how to sock it to the sheep rustlers, didn’t we?

Australia is a fabulous country, with fabulous people. Sitting on the edge of the Pacific trading area which will keep them prosperous for the next 200 years. 

However crisp the Autumn morning is here, I’d rather be knocking back a Hunter Valley White watching the sunset any day of the week. 

I’d sign up for “the colony” in a flash, and i’m happy to waive my right to stand for Parliament ( why would you choose to live in Canberra, anyway?).

What an absolute load of fucking shit.

First of all, as I'm not a 23 year old art school drop out called Brad, I couldn't give a flying toss about surfing, much like the vast majority of the population.

Secondly, comparing Sydney to London is like comparing the Chuckle Brothers to Bill Hicks. London is one of only two truly global cities, and for entertainment and culture purposes, it easily surpasses every other city on the planet. Sydney is a third rate city with one landmark. Aside from the opera house, which is fucking ghastly, the vast majority of cunts in the world can't tell you anything about it.

Thirdly, in terms of economic prosperity, despite our recent issues, we are still the fifth (possibly sixth according to some sources) economy in the world. You might argue that the trickle down effect of wealth isn't as pronounced here, but look at the average Australian's outgoings compared to ours. It's expensive doing a food shop when you live in a desolate shit hole and have to import the vast majority of your goods.

Australia is a fucking arid, culturally bereft shithole. The land is full of things that can kill you, the sea is full of things that can kill you and the sky is full of UV rays that will give you skin cancer and kill you.

Not a patch on the UK, and as far as I'm concerned it plays second fiddle to New Zealand as well.

P.S. Fuck off.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

New Zealand has got very few different butterflies species so is of little interest to me.

[Guest Manky]

Australia may well be a great place to live but thankfully, it is not compulsory. Like America, it is a juvenile little upstart country that thanks to a leg-up off Britain, skipped thousands of years of maturing and now occupies its place on the world stage thanks to our help.

Besides, their beer is shit.

[Eric Cuntman]

35 minutes ago, Manky said:

Australia may well be a great place to live but thankfully, it is not compulsory. Like America, it is a juvenile little upstart country that thanks to a leg-up off Britain, skipped thousands of years of maturing and now occupies its place on the world stage thanks to our help.

Besides, their beer is shit.

Their world image could use a little work. Their 3 most recognisable cultural icons are a 6 foot 4 bloke in a dress, a bearded paedophile with a paint brush and a man on a horse who liked to get shot whilst wearing a bucket on his head. Oh, and an autistic psychopath who cut off his own ears.

[and]

Name me one fuckin' rock band from Australia that is/was any good, and don't come with your AC/DC shite, they have several tunes and they all sound the fuckin' same

And while I'm at it, isn't it time that guitar playing cunt started wearing long trousers, he's 62 FFS?

[Decimus]

3 minutes ago, r-soles said:

Name me one fuckin' rock band from Australia that is/was any good, and don't come with your AC/DC shite, they have several tunes and they all sound the fuckin' same

And while I'm at it, isn't it time that guitar playing cunt started wearing long trousers, he's 62 FFS?

I think I pretty much summed up idiots like Last Cunt Standing in an earlier nom.

Deluded fucking morons obsessed with an image of an Australia that doesn't match the reality of it.

 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

2 hours ago, Lady Penelope said:

New Zealand has got very few different butterflies species so is of little interest to me.

Pen, I'm only saying this out of tough love...fuck off and kill yourself.  

[Guest Manky]

So while we were signing the Magna Carta, some Abo was scratching some shite on Ayers Rock. That is fuck all. I wrote on the toilets in a Canal Street drinking emporium,"Cheshire golfing fantasist with big tool and gaping ring wltm any fucker, preferably blind and stupid"

[Decimus]

I see that @Stubby Pecker has liked the post wanking all over Australia.

I'm not suprised, Ayers rock must get his tiny, amateur geologist's maggot twitching with excitement.

Stubby, if you like it that much, why don't you fuck off and emigrate there. Of course it would have to be illegally, their strict immigration policy ensures a blanket ban on unskilled, third rate science aficionados.

 

[Eric Cuntman]

3 hours ago, r-soles said:

Name me one fuckin' rock band from Australia that is/was any good, and don't come with your AC/DC shite, they have several tunes and they all sound the fuckin' same

And while I'm at it, isn't it time that guitar playing cunt started wearing long trousers, he's 62 FFS?

 I would class INXS as a half decent band. Hutchence certainly lived the lifestyle, buckets of drugs and booze, corrupting an annoying, girl next door pop star, met his end in a blaze of narcotics and a chokewank, and I think we can all thank him for emotionally destroying that sanctimonious, self obsessed, fake altruist Geldof.

[Wolfie]

5 hours ago, Decimus said:

What an absolute load of fucking shit.

First of all, as I'm not a 23 year old art school drop out called Brad, I couldn't give a flying toss about surfing, much like the vast majority of the population.

Secondly, comparing Sydney to London is like comparing the Chuckle Brothers to Bill Hicks. London is one of only two truly global cities, and for entertainment and culture purposes, it easily surpasses every other city on the planet. Sydney is a third rate city with one landmark. Aside from the opera house, which is fucking ghastly, the vast majority of cunts in the world can't tell you anything about it.

Thirdly, in terms of economic prosperity, despite our recent issues, we are still the fifth (possibly sixth according to some sources) economy in the world. You might argue that the trickle down effect of wealth isn't as pronounced here, but look at the average Australian's outgoings compared to ours. It's expensive doing a food shop when you live in a desolate shit hole and have to import the vast majority of your goods.

Australia is a fucking arid, culturally bereft shithole. The land is full of things that can kill you, the sea is full of things that can kill you and the sky is full of UV rays that will give you skin cancer and kill you.

Not a patch on the UK, and as far as I'm concerned it plays second fiddle to New Zealand as well.

P.S. Fuck off.

Travel is a great antidote to feeling depressed about living in the UK, because when you spend time abroad, it makes you realise there's no place quite like old Blighty. It's little wonder our background as great innovators, allied to a consistently strong economy, variety of places and things to do, temperate climate, green pastures and richness of history remain such a big draw the world over.

Australia is welcome to its geographical isolation, searing heat, deserts, droughts, forest fires, snakes, spiders, crocodiles, sharks and utterly shit rugby team.

[Guest Manky]

Men at work.   Fucking shite

Mental as anything.   Fucking shite.

Bee Gees.  Fucking shite but born on the Isle of Man and later lived in Manchester. As I said to Barry, to lose one brother is unfortunate, to lose two is downright fucking careless, you careless, silly Bee Gees.

[Wolfie]

41 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 I would class INXS as a half decent band. Hutchence certainly lived the lifestyle, buckets of drugs and booze, corrupting an annoying, girl next door pop star, met his end in a blaze of narcotics and a chokewank, and I think we can all thank him for emotionally destroying that sanctimonious, self obsessed, fake altruist Geldof.

For all his success, fame and wealth, Hutchence's death certificate will always read 'death by act of asphyxiating himself whilst vigorously masturbating'.

I'm sure the coroner still has a little chuckle every now and then.

[Eric Cuntman]

14 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

For all his success, fame and wealth, Hutchence's death certificate will always read 'death by act of asphyxiating himself whilst vigorously masturbating'.

I'm sure the coroner still has a little chuckle every now and then.

It's certainly a more interesting exit than Elvis or Jim Morrison will be remembered for, fat cunt on a shitter and fat cunt in a bathtub.

[Wolfie]

1 hour ago, Manky said:

Men at work.   Fucking shite

Mental as anything.   Fucking shite.

Bee Gees.  Fucking shite but born on the Isle of Man and later lived in Manchester. As I said to Barry, to lose one brother is unfortunate, to lose two is downright fucking careless, you careless, silly Bee Gees.

The Bee Gees are magnificent, and I will not have a bad word said about them. When you swagger back from curry night at the local Horse & Halal, I bet you stand in front of your mirror, swathed in the latest Adidas raincoat, hands behind your back, rasping out a well-versed 'sheee-iiiney bellend' rendition to Champagne Supernova. You're right about the first two, though.

[Earl of Punkape]

This one is marvellous.....

[Guest Manky]

6 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

The Bee Gees are magnificent, and I will not have a bad word said about them. When you swagger back from curry night at the local Horse & Halal, I bet you stand in front of your mirror, swathed in the latest Adidas raincoat, hands behind your back, rasping out a well-versed 'sheee-iiiney bellend' rendition to Champagne Supernova. You're right about the first two, though.

The Bee Gees were shite. Remove your head from your arse and listen to some decent stuff. Forget the Aussie crap though. Heard better on the Eurovision Song Contest.

I suppose they don't want British standing for their parliament because they have seen the mess ours makes.

[Wolfie]

9 minutes ago, Manky said:

The Bee Gees were shite. Remove your head from your arse and listen to some decent stuff. Forget the Aussie crap though. Heard better on the Eurovision Song Contest.

I suppose they don't want British standing for their parliament because they have seen the mess ours makes.

I've removed my head from my arse, and my ears now await your rare input on the music exchange thread.