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Sports Personality Cunt of Year Bollocks 2017


Earl of Punkape

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Chris Froome will win the Salbutamol award for best Medical Exemption.

Lewis Hamilton will win the Manx Government award for Creative Accountancy.

Mo Farah will win the Guardian Award for Positive Immigration Stories.

And Clare Balding will fight the urge to sit on Gabbys face. I hope she yields to temptation. 

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Might have known that in holding it in the National Centre for Emotional Incontinence, what used to be a sensible review of the sporting year - think David Coleman in a V necked sweater - those Cunts at the Beeb would turn this show into a PC wankfest. Noel Gallagher singing All You Need Is Love over footage of people presumably maimed in the Vietnam war is the last straw. All we need now is a chorus of Justice For The 96, a solemn march round the Liver Building for the dear departed, a quivering lipped address of righteous indignation from Andy Burnham, then a comedy monologue from Stan Boardman about the Germans winning in a Russia next year. 

Fuck off Liverpool, you are a cunt of a place, and have truly excelled yourself with this shite. 

Ma Boswell is a Cunt. 

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57 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Might have known that in holding it in the National Centre for Emotional Incontinence, what used to be a sensible review of the sporting year - think David Coleman in a V necked sweater - those Cunts at the Beeb would turn this show into a PC wankfest. Noel Gallagher singing All You Need Is Love over footage of people presumably maimed in the Vietnam war is the last straw. All we need now is a chorus of Justice For The 96, a solemn march round the Liver Building for the dear departed, a quivering lipped address of righteous indignation from Andy Burnham, then a comedy monologue from Stan Boardman about the Germans winning in a Russia next year. 

Fuck off Liverpool, you are a cunt of a place, and have truly excelled yourself with this shite. 

Ma Boswell is a Cunt. 

I thought Jessica Ennis might have taken the opportunity to apologise to Ched Evans...

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1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Chris Froome will win the Salbutamol award for best Medical Exemption.

Lewis Hamilton will win the Manx Government award for Creative Accountancy.

Mo Farah will win the Guardian Award for Positive Immigration Stories.

And Clare Balding will fight the urge to sit on Gabbys face. I hope she yields to temptation. 

Excellent. Geoff Hurst will get the bimillennial racist lumberjack award

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Mo Farah. What a fucking surprise. 

And, in the capital of being cut off for non-payment, they lose the satellite feed from Civilization. Priceless.

For Christ’s sake, hold it at the O2 next year and sack Polly Toynbee as Chair of the Judges. It’s fast becoming an irrelevance. Who the fuck is Johnny Rae and is he more appropriate a winner than say, Anthony Joshua? The multiple box-ticker Dame Jessica gets a lifetime achievement award in the same year Phil Taylor and Usain Bolt, who transcend their sports, retired. 

Horseshit. 

Here’s hoping David Duckenfield is in charge of the Exit doors. 

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11 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I noticed that in the montage of dead people, there were a lot that appeared to be quite young. I mean I thought sport was meant to be healthy! Fuck that. I'll stick with the armchair and choccies. 

The way it’s going you’ll be shortlisted for your Seated Toblerone Gold medal performance next year Gyps. You already have your gender and your traveller ethnicity to fall back on, so all you need to do now is come out as Autistic Transgender Lesbian with Bathroom Confusion Syndrome, overcome adversity (spilling tea on the seat cushion) and have an entirely coincidental connection to geopolitics (Camberwell is annexed by Kim Jong Un and the inhabitants sold into sex slavery). I’d say you’re a safe 4/5 on in those circumstances. 

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1 hour ago, Punkape said:

I thought Jessica Ennis might have taken the opportunity to apologise to Ched Evans...

I still can’t believe they named a stand after her at Bramall Lane. Mind you, considering 8,000 rough men enter it every Saturday, I can begin to understand their logic. Flattened some grass, has our Jess. She’s very good with a Shot Put. 

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6 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I still can’t believe they named a stand after her at Bramall Lane. Mind you, considering 8,000 rough men enter it every Saturday, I can begin to understand their logic. Flattened some grass, has our Jess. She’s very good with a Shot Put. 

Forgive me for saying, but you strike me as a complete and utter fucking idiot. 

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5 minutes ago, Ape said:

Forgive me for saying, but you strike me as a complete and utter fucking idiot. 

Coming from you, my Simian friend, I’ll take that as a compliment. It can’t really be much else, given that you are universally regarded as too dimwitted to formulate anything other than a primitively optimistic view of the world. Consequently, I imagine you give a silent thumbs up and chew on your macroglossal tongue every time you manage to strike the return button with your head wand. 

I suspect your leg bag needs emptying, fuckstick. Perhaps you can do us all a favour and go drown yourself in the toilet.

Fuck off. 

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34 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Coming from you, my Simian friend, I’ll take that as a compliment. It can’t really be much else, given that you are universally regarded as too dimwitted to formulate anything other than a primitively optimistic view of the world. Consequently, I imagine you give a silent thumbs up and chew on your macroglossal tongue every time you manage to strike the return button with your head wand. 

I suspect your leg bag needs emptying, fuckstick. Perhaps you can do us all a favour and go drown yourself in the toilet.

Fuck off. 

Aren’t you supposed to be a doctor in real life? 

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Gave up on this years ago.

The BBC - having very little in the way of decent sporting events now on it's roster, Olympics aside - have turned this from a chance to relive great moments in the sporting year, into a fuck-fest of Byzantine proportions.

So you get lingering close ups of Usain Bolt's running shoes. A slow track of a tear down Bradley Lowrey's face. Eddie Butler doing voice over's redolent of Churchill's 'We will fight them on the beaches' speech and Gary Linekers pathetic attempt to further his career as a stand up comedian.

.....and that's before you get to the boring annual non-argument that 'this is supposed to be about  personality' (harrumph harrumph). You may as well give it to the chalk than to Steve Davis in that case {fucking chortle}.'

It's all a slow-death pile of bollocks!

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Guest Wizardsleeve
20 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Mo Farah. What a fucking surprise. 

And, in the capital of being cut off for non-payment, they lose the satellite feed from Civilization. Priceless.

For Christ’s sake, hold it at the O2 next year and sack Polly Toynbee as Chair of the Judges. It’s fast becoming an irrelevance. Who the fuck is Johnny Rae and is he more appropriate a winner than say, Anthony Joshua? The multiple box-ticker Dame Jessica gets a lifetime achievement award in the same year Phil Taylor and Usain Bolt, who transcend their sports, retired. 

Horseshit. 

Here’s hoping David Duckenfield is in charge of the Exit doors. 

Could be worse, it could've been Tom "Shitstabber" Daley.

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8 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Gave up on this years ago.

The BBC - having very little in the way of decent sporting events now on it's roster, Olympics aside - have turned this from a chance to relive great moments in the sporting year, into a fuck-fest of Byzantine proportions.

So you get lingering close ups of Usain Bolt's running shoes. A slow track of a tear down Bradley Lowrey's face. Eddie Butler doing voice over's redolent of Churchill's 'We will fight them on the beaches' speech and Gary Linekers pathetic attempt to further his career as a stand up comedian.

.....and that's before you get to the boring annual non-argument that 'this is supposed to be about  personality' (harrumph harrumph). You may as well give it to the chalk than to Steve Davis in that case {fucking chortle}.'

It's all a slow-death pile of bollocks!

The ever-hilarious Gary Lineker, who seems to enjoy his own jokes in the same way people appreciate their own farts. Let's remind ourselves of when the BBC/Walkers/BT Sport-employed millionaire socialist, who couldn't bring himself to offer one of his many homes to the poor migrants he spoke out on behalf of, lost control his ringpiece.

 

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More SPOTY nonsense....

 

Irate viewers of Sports Personality of the Year called the police after Mo Farah was crowned winner. 

Farah was a surprise victor with Anthony Joshua as short as 1/10 with some bookmakers before the ceremony in Liverpool. 

And viewers were so angry some even called the police to complain about the result, with the Cheshire force taking to Twitter to tell people not to pick up the phone.

"Calling 101 to complain that the person you voted for to win the Sports Personality of the Year Award is not an appropriate use of the service and a waste of 15p," they tweeted.

I suspect there may be another Savile in the BBC....

lol.

 

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  • 1 year later...

I am wondering where you spectacularly uninformed and unfunny racist fucktards obtained your lobotomy’s. I assume they were free as clearly none of you have two pennies let alone brain cells to rub together.

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17 hours ago, Yourrightyouarecunts said:

I am wondering where you spectacularly uninformed and unfunny racist fucktards obtained your lobotomy’s. I assume they were free as clearly none of you have two pennies let alone brain cells to rub together.

Fuck off then.

And a little bit of advice. The plural noun of lobotomy, is 'lobotomies'.

If you wish to imply that others are cerebrally challenged, a basic grasp of language would be an advantage.

Idiot.

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