Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 If I had my way, the cunts that ride the lift one floor to then waddle out to the car park for their trusty smoke would be out on their ear. Firstly I would work out what how much money they owed the company... 10 minutes out of every hour of many years of "work". You can group the smokers together. Always overweight, always slow to adapt to changes or progress in the workplace, always wanting to go crying to the union if they are made to actually lift the finger. Only thing worse is ex-smokers. They read some bullshit merchant's book about how to quit, and then won't shut up themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 40 minutes ago, Decimus said: I'm afraid that Proper has got me on tag, so I'm unable to comment on whether Albert is shit or not (a clue: he is). As he is currently untouchable, you can consider him to be under my wing. Any attack on young Ross I will consider as an attack upon myself, so unless you want a fucking good hiding, I suggest that you cease this nonsense immediately. Decimus, look we are all hurting now that Ding is no longer with us but you have got to stop getting affectionate and protective of every stray cunt who wonders along without an owner. I am sure someone will be along to claim young Drossie soon so don't get too attached to him OK. He has sad eyes and a mewling tone but look, he is really thick and there is a danger he might breed. Best to let him expire naturally as nature intended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 55 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Who the fuck is Amy? Eric. With all due respect, please stop this fucking shit. Thanks very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spanky Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 4 hours ago, Wolfie said: If you smoke, and you wish to give yourself heart disease or even lung cancer, they're your vital organs and it is your choice. The place in which I work is full of smokers who stand in the narrow lane near the entrance, which means those coming into work, as well as many passers-by, are faced with breathing in their second-hand smoke. One such person is a fat, feminazi vegetarian sow who doesn't seem to understand it pains me to acknowledge her ugly face – and the only reason I do so is to forewarn her that I'm walking past, and at this time she ought to move her stinking fag away from me so that I don't have to fuckingwell breathe in its fumes. Almost every day she's there, her chubby fucking lips sucking on a cancer-inducing stick she deems OK for the rest of us to breathe in. Well, it's not OK. When she was asked by another non-smoking colleague, reasonably enough, whether she'd mind not smoking right in the doorway, she replied, somewhat haughtily and sarcastically 'I'm ever so sorry darling' – and waddled off like an angry teenager into the kitchen to go and snort a Pot Noodle or similar. Unfortunately, this type of scenario is typical up and down the country. For all sorts of complex reasons, non-smokers react to this in different ways – pub entrances probably being the only exception. If I had my way, however, I'd introduce new and stricter smoking protection laws to eradicate arseholes standing in public walkways or doorways, or in places where people can't avoid breathing in their shite. Failing this, I'd have every cunt who thinks it's OK to pollute others' clean airspace with carcinogenic fumes rounded up and placed into concentration camps, in which they will be worked to death far more quickly making cancer research equipment than having to suffer years of ill-health leading up to an inevitably painful ending. I'll be going the selfish fucks a favour. The NHS will thank me, too. Cunts. Have you thought about telling her to move her fat chuff out of the way as it is attracting flies? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 3 hours ago, Wolfie said: Agreed. This is precisely why I carry a small canister of petrol with me all times, to ensure those who smoke near me are quickly set on fire. I suggest Eric and Decs wear name badges from now on, in case I ever get the opportunity to finger some menstruating slags behind random bins or bike sheds. You would be an instant commodity among the stray cat population of the area! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Tata Steely Dan said: If I had my way, the cunts that ride the lift one floor to then waddle out to the car park for their trusty smoke would be out on their ear. Firstly I would work out what how much money they owed the company... 10 minutes out of every hour of many years of "work". I've tried to get smoke breaks banned altogether at our place, on the grounds that the skiving cunts can quite happily go 8 hours without a fag when they're on a plane to fucking Disneyworld, but apparently I'm "not in tune with current HR thinking on this subject". On which note, I don't know what smart cunt invented the job title "HR Professional", but they were obviously taking the piss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 24 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I've tried 24 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: . On which note, I don't know what smart cunt invented the job title "HR Professional", but they were obviously taking the piss. It used to be called Personnel but then one of the Dirty Harry films came along. Clint is told he is being transferred to Personnel after shooting the fuck out of a load of lowlife. He looks at his boss and says: ”Personnel?.......that’s for assholes.” Inevitably after that anybody who told people they worked in personnel had that line delivered to them over and over again. So some clever cunt invented Human Resources. Not a lot of people know that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted January 9, 2018 Report Share Posted January 9, 2018 Sir Walter Raleigh invented fags, potatoes and bicycles, and he was hard as fuck. If you don't like the smell of tobacco, you're most likely gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 I’m surprised nobody has mentioned the terrible fate of the late , great Roy Castle....brutally murdered by smokers who, typically , couldn’t be bothered to dispose of his body. That was a long time ago and nobody has done time for it yet. It’s a national fucking disgrace! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 4 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said: Let's be honest, knowing everything we know about smoking now, if you do it you're a fucking retard wherever you're inhaling it. Booze and weed and coke and everything else are bad for you too, but at least they have discernible benefits in the short term. Smoking only induces something pleasurable if you're thick enough to get addicted to the carcinogenic shit in the first place. I'm agreeing 99% on this one thickers, the coke bit I'm not happy about as its the drug of utter cunts. There is a cadre of simpletons where I work puffing away every hour on the dot, thus taking more breaks than every other cunt combined. Needless to say they are all tattooed, speak with disgusting rural tones and are all on min wage. Each to their own however, if they want to die a pathetic and preventable death, good luck to them. I hope the government can bring in a law that you have pay if you want any treatment for problems caused by prolonged smoking. If not just send @ratcumround with his can of 5 star. Maybe every 1000th cig produced should contain vx gas or cyanide? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 3 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: Eric. With all due respect, please stop this fucking shit. Thanks very much. What posses you to keep chipping in with these totally pointless fucking comments? I genuinely hope you die soon you gangrenous fanned idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 1 hour ago, Cap'n Cunt said: Sir Walter Raleigh invented fags, potatoes and bicycles, and he was hard as fuck. If you don't like the smell of tobacco, you're most likely gay. Really? No Raleigh I'll get me cloak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 7 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: What posses you to keep chipping in with these totally pointless fucking comments? I genuinely hope you die soon you gangrenous fanned idiot. Leave her alone. She's never got over Suez Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 8 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Leave her alone. She's never got over Suez Fuck the suez it's more like the boer war or the Sudan against those fuzzy wuzzie cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest White van man Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 23 hours ago, Wolfie said: If you smoke, and you wish to give yourself heart disease or even lung cancer, they're your vital organs and it is your choice. The place in which I work is full of smokers who stand in the narrow lane near the entrance, which means those coming into work, as well as many passers-by, are faced with breathing in their second-hand smoke. One such person is a fat, feminazi vegetarian sow who doesn't seem to understand it pains me to acknowledge her ugly face – and the only reason I do so is to forewarn her that I'm walking past, and at this time she ought to move her stinking fag away from me so that I don't have to fuckingwell breathe in its fumes. Almost every day she's there, her chubby fucking lips sucking on a cancer-inducing stick she deems OK for the rest of us to breathe in. Well, it's not OK. When she was asked by another non-smoking colleague, reasonably enough, whether she'd mind not smoking right in the doorway, she replied, somewhat haughtily and sarcastically 'I'm ever so sorry darling' – and waddled off like an angry teenager into the kitchen to go and snort a Pot Noodle or similar. Unfortunately, this type of scenario is typical up and down the country. For all sorts of complex reasons, non-smokers react to this in different ways – pub entrances probably being the only exception. If I had my way, however, I'd introduce new and stricter smoking protection laws to eradicate arseholes standing in public walkways or doorways, or in places where people can't avoid breathing in their shite. Failing this, I'd have every cunt who thinks it's OK to pollute others' clean airspace with carcinogenic fumes rounded up and placed into concentration camps, in which they will be worked to death far more quickly making cancer research equipment than having to suffer years of ill-health leading up to an inevitably painful ending. I'll be doing the selfish fucks a favour. The NHS will thank me, too. Cunts. She probably started smoking in her young teens to look cool, allowing her to alternate between smoking and putting other items in her mouth. Asking Shamu if she still thinks she looks cool now should do the trick. Failing that, try placing a no smoking sign. Usually works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 10, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 34 minutes ago, White van man said: She probably started smoking in her young teens to look cool, allowing her to alternate between smoking and putting other items in her mouth. Asking Shamu if she still thinks she looks cool now should do the trick. Failing that, try placing a no smoking sign. Usually works. Welcome, Wvm. Presumably your title isn't an attempt at casual racism, otherwise you'll be in for it from the outset from the site's self-appointed clique police. Re: your comment, one assumes the 'other items' to which you refer are food, because I can't envisage any red-blooded male wishing to put his cock anywhere near her tobacco-stained hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest White van man Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 No not racism. I drive a van, its white and I'm a man. Didn't think that would need clarified but hope the explanation has helped. Fat blubber arses always used to be happy and jolly and develope some personality to be liked. Now with the invention of swipe right on dating sites they feel like they have a value and a chioce and developed attitude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 8 minutes ago, White van man said: I drive Reported for polluting the planet and killing the bees and whales. 8 minutes ago, White van man said: its white Reported for being racist. 8 minutes ago, White van man said: I'm a man. Reported for being sexist. 35 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Presumably your title isn't an attempt at casual racism, otherwise you'll be in for it from the outset from the site's self-appointed clique police. Wolf, I've sorted it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 10, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 4 minutes ago, Decimus said: Reported for polluting the planet and killing the bees and whales. Reported for being racist. Reported for being sexist. Wolf, I've sorted it. That's all we need: another sexist, racist, white supremacist who couldn't give two monkeys about the environment. Just four posts in and you've outed him already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 If you took the time to read the Smoke Free (Premises and Enforcement) Regulations it states that smoking is prohibited outside a premises where it could potentially enter, through a window or a door. Therefore, places that allow this are in breach of legislation and should be prosecuted but alas it will be down to colleagues of another useless cunt, Decimus. Thats right, Local Authority Environmental Health Officers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 11 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: If you took the time to read the Smoke Free (Premises and Enforcement) Regulations it states that smoking is prohibited outside a premises where it could potentially enter, through a window or a door. Therefore, places that allow this are in breach of legislation and should be prosecuted but alas it will be down to colleagues of another useless cunt, Decimus. Thats right, Local Authority Environmental Health Officers. has Decimus switched departments Drew, I could swear he told me he worked in the Social care and Mobility Department, I had assumed that's how you two were acquainted when you were initially assessed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 10, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 20 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: If you took the time to read the Smoke Free (Premises and Enforcement) Regulations it states that smoking is prohibited outside a premises where it could potentially enter, through a window or a door. Therefore, places that allow this are in breach of legislation and should be prosecuted but alas it will be down to colleagues of another useless cunt, Decimus. Thats right, Local Authority Environmental Health Officers. While this legislation ought to be black and white, Drew, it unfortunately remains a very grey area. When do you know of it ever being enforced? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 27 minutes ago, Decimus said: Reported for polluting the planet and killing the bees and whales. Reported for being racist. Reported for being sexist. Wolf, I've sorted it. PROPER. Get a handle on this fucking shit, and make it fast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 1 minute ago, Wolfie said: While this legislation ought to black and white, Drew, it unfortunately remains a very grey area. When do you know of it ever being enforced? It's a well known fact that I'm in charge of the 343 bottle banks within our district. My acquaintance with Drew began when I discovered him face down and semi-conscious in the Yarmouth branch of Aldi's bottle bank, desperately sucking at the dregs of am empty K-Cider vessel. He's made similar subsequent appearances at 156 receptacles on my patch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted January 10, 2018 Report Share Posted January 10, 2018 29 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: If you took the time to read the Smoke Free (Premises and Enforcement) Regulations it states that smoking is prohibited outside a premises where it could potentially enter, through a window or a door. Therefore, places that allow this are in breach of legislation and should be prosecuted but alas it will be down to colleagues of another useless cunt, Decimus. Thats right, Local Authority Environmental Health Officers. Fuck off you dull, dreary, regulation-citing wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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