Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 I bought a new roller blind for the kitchen window. On the pack it said "just cut to size", I normally judge things well by eye. I have cut the bastard, cunting, fucking thing about 12 inches too short Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 That is why we use millimeters. Smaller errors. Did you measure twice and cut once! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 Just now, Alfie Noakes said: That is why we use millimeters. Smaller errors. Did you measure twice and cut once! I just looked at it thought "that's about right" and cut the fucking thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 Pen, you utter spastic. If this is some made up roleplay bollocks, then you are one sad old cat-hoarding slapper. But then, if it is indeed true, or even exaggerated, then you are undoubtedly one of the thickest fucking cunts I've ever had the misfortune of coming into contact with, and I wish you at the very least a terrible 2018. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 37 minutes ago, nocti said: But then, if it is indeed true, Thank you Noctidums, I have indeed done this very thing today I don't have a cat .. do you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Lady Penelope said: I bought a new roller blind for the kitchen window. On the pack it said "just cut to size", I normally judge things well by eye. I have cut the bastard, cunting, fucking thing about 12 inches too short Good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 "Okay Neil, Buzz, Mike, this is Pen at Houston control. I've looked at it and think it's about right, so Apollo 11, you are primed and awaiting flight clearance" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 2 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I just looked at it thought "that's about right" and cut the fucking thing No wonder you were kicked off the Apollo moon mission "Look Mr Armstrong just aim the fucker at the moon. That'll do it". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 2 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I bought a new roller blind for the kitchen window. On the pack it said "just cut to size", I normally judge things well by eye. I have cut the bastard, cunting, fucking thing about 12 inches too short Did you base this estimate on what Frank told you 12 inches looked like? Because if so the good is news that your blind is in actuality only 1 inch too short. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 2 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I bought a new roller blind for the kitchen window. On the pack it said "just cut to size", I normally judge things well by eye. I have cut the bastard, cunting, fucking thing about 12 inches too short This perfectly illustrates what a fucking idiot you are. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 Solution. Fix the roller blind to the side of the window and pull it across the window. Any problems fit a slightly stronger spring like a leaf spring off a MAN truck. Job Jobbed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 3 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I bought a new roller blind for the kitchen window. On the pack it said "just cut to size", I normally judge things well by eye. I have cut the bastard, cunting, fucking thing about 12 inches too short You've obviously been spoilt! Twat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 3 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I bought a new roller blind for the kitchen window. On the pack it said "just cut to size", I normally judge things well by eye. I have cut the bastard, cunting, fucking thing about 12 inches too short The most simple solution would be to wrap the cord around your throat and hang yourself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 3 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: Thank you Noctidums, I have indeed done this very thing today I don't have a cat .. do you? I fucking hate cats, Pen. I made that abundantly clear on another thread tainted by your utter shite. Since this is such a fucking ridiculous mistake, that even a haggard old flid like yourself surely couldn't make, one must assume that the whole charade is entirely fabricated, and the only thing involving "blind" in your life, is the affliction that has cursed every bloke/animal who's ever been anywhere near your dreadlocked, dusty old fanny. Lol. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 4 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I bought a new roller blind for the kitchen window. On the pack it said "just cut to size", I normally judge things well by eye. I have cut the bastard, cunting, fucking thing about 12 inches too short As a pensioner, I can only imagine you've purchased these blinds so you can peek out of them to monitor the frequency of HGV on the road outside your house, the paper boy who may or may not be stealing your hanging baskets and the Pakistani man three doors down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest White van man Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 When i first saw the title, i thought one of the tramps out of the park must have left again before you woke up. Since you've basically nominated yourself, I'll help you out. A plasterer friend of mine can bring your windows in 6" each side. Let me know if you need a quote. He does special rates for oap's and disabled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 6 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I bought a new roller blind for the kitchen window. On the pack it said "just cut to size", I normally judge things well by eye. I have cut the bastard, cunting, fucking thing about 12 inches too short Maybe next time you should practice the instructions on your own wrists first. Idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 7 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said: That is why we use millimeters. Smaller errors. Did you measure twice and cut once! It's spelt millimetres you thick Americanised spelling brainwashed troglodyte. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 7 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I bought a new roller blind for the kitchen window. On the pack it said "just cut to size", I normally judge things well by eye. I have cut the bastard, cunting, fucking thing about 12 inches too short You have my sincerest sympathy. Will you have to buy a new one or can you glue it back together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 2 hours ago, White van man said: When i first saw the title, i thought one of the tramps out of the park must have left again before you woke up. Since you've basically nominated yourself, I'll help you out. A plasterer friend of mine can bring your windows in 6" each side. Let me know if you need a quote. He does special rates for oap's and disabled. It does pose the question, if this plasterer IS a friend of yours, does Pen, as much as I hate the stupid slag, deserve a spastic daubing her reveals? Fuck off and drive into a wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 7 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I just looked at it thought "that's about right" and cut the fucking thing Sounds extremely similar to the method you must use before deciding to post a nom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest White van man Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 9 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: It does pose the question, if this plasterer IS a friend of yours, does Pen, as much as I hate the stupid slag, deserve a spastic daubing her reveals? Fuck off and drive into a wall. I've got an invisible friend who has started a bungee jumping business off the top of the Eiffel tower using invisible bungee rubber. Just go to the top and put you arms in the air. Give them 10 seconds to rope you up then jump. You'll be fine. Tell him i sent you, it'll be free Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 6 hours ago, Manky said: Solution. Fix the roller blind to the side of the window and pull it across the window. Any problems fit a slightly stronger spring like a leaf spring off a MAN truck. Job Jobbed. No. Get a bricky in and make the window smaller. Hey presto, the blind will fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest White van man Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: No. Get a bricky in and make the window smaller. Hey presto, the blind will fit. Reported for under cutting the plasterer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted January 11, 2018 Report Share Posted January 11, 2018 10 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: I bought a new roller blind for the kitchen window. On the pack it said "just cut to size", I normally judge things well by eye. I have cut the bastard, cunting, fucking thing about 12 inches too short I was under the belief that care centres had people to do these little things for the spacky old cunts living there. Pen, this speaks volumes about you. Not only are you a complete and utter stupid fucking cunt, but the janitors can't even be bothered to put the blinds up for you. Nobody likes you, so Decs may very well have prescribed the right treatment for you, and that is to hang yourself, immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.