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The Beast From The East


Last Cunt Standing

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22 hours ago, Albert Ross said:

Yeah we only do 30 weeks pa, as most mainstream schools do 39 weeks. Sometimes it pays to be special, then we can go to shopping centres and on buses and talk to random people and make them embarrassed. 

Do they cause mayhem while you walk 30 yards behind them, bunnying on your mobile? 

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
On 25/02/2018 at 7:22 PM, luke swarm said:

I am watching Where Eagles Dare on channel five, looks a bit fucking parky up in that mountaintop castle. Not once in this film does any member complain about it being fucking brass monkey weather out, they just get on with gratuitously killing Jerry, cunts don't know they are born these days.

We used to have 9 months of Snow and Sleet winter when I was a lad in Smethwick, used to be murder trying to keep the outside lav from freezing up... the other 3 months there was always a drought. Made me the man I am today,   

That’s what turned you into a bender??

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Guest luke swarm
55 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

That’s what turned you into a bender??

rather than telling jokes it would seem that you have evolved into a joke. You could have been a contender but now look at you, pathetic.

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5 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

rather than telling jokes it would seem that you have evolved into a joke. You could have been a contender but now look at you, pathetic.

Oi Luke, did you hear about the Irish puff who wanted to get into organic farming?

He'd heard they reared everything by hand

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Guest Lady Penelope
On 25/02/2018 at 7:22 PM, luke swarm said:

I am watching Where Eagles Dare on channel five, looks a bit fucking parky up in that mountaintop castle. Not once in this film does any member complain about it being fucking brass monkey weather out, they just get on with gratuitously killing Jerry, cunts don't know they are born these days.

We used to have 9 months of Snow and Sleet winter when I was a lad in Smethwick, used to be murder trying to keep the outside lav from freezing up... the other 3 months there was always a drought. Made me the man I am today,   

Did you ever take a dip in Soho Pool?

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
10 hours ago, luke swarm said:

rather than telling jokes it would seem that you have evolved into a joke. You could have been a contender but now look at you, pathetic.

Yes or no?

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Guest Lady Penelope

Don't forget to check up on old folk during the cold spell as they will likely have a good supply of chockie biscuits, jaffa cakes,  tea, coffee, olvaltine and as like as not a nip or two of brandy or whisky to warm you on your way.

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17 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

Don't forget to check up on old folk during the cold spell as they will likely have a good supply of chockie biscuits, jaffa cakes,  tea, coffee, olvaltine and as like as not a nip or two of brandy or whisky to warm you on your way.

Good on ya', Pen. You can fulfil precisely what you preach by looking in the mirror every few minutes.

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7 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Dunno what the fuss is all about; fuck all snow has fallen on Cambers today. Although my cousin in Kent has had some. She says it's the first 6 inches she received for years.  

I'm here all week. Tickets still available 

That one's as old as Pen, Gyps. Almost.

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'The Beast From The East' then. How's it going for you?

It's a bit chilly (then again it is February). We've got the kind of light dusting of snow you get like icing sugar on a sponge cake AND THAT'S IT!

No apocalypse. No Stalingrad. No reconstruction of Captain Scott's doomed last journey to the South Pole.

'The Beast From The East'?

'The Piece of Piss from Diss' more like! (Easy Decimus - this one isn't a go at you on this occasion)

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1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said:

'The Beast From The East' then. How's it going for you?

It's a bit chilly (then again it is February). We've got the kind of light dusting of snow you get like icing sugar on a sponge cake AND THAT'S IT!

No apocalypse. No Stalingrad. No reconstruction of Captain Scott's doomed last journey to the South Pole.

'The Beast From The East'?

'The Piece of Piss from Diss' more like! (Easy Decimus - this one isn't a go at you on this occasion)

It's an absolute fucking farce. Greater Anglia have cancelled two days worth of trains on the Sheringham and Yarmouth lines into Norwich. This was in anticipation of the "the worst snow storm in this country for the past 30 years".

As predicted, there's barely enough snow on the streets of Norfolk to fashion Neil a dead snow-hooker, but that hasn't stopped every cunt in my office not bothering to turn up today. Including me.

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2 hours ago, Decimus said:

It's an absolute fucking farce. Greater Anglia have cancelled two days worth of trains on the Sheringham and Yarmouth lines into Norwich. This was in anticipation of the "the worst snow storm in this country for the past 30 years".

As predicted, there's barely enough snow on the streets of Norfolk to fashion Neil a dead snow-hooker, but that hasn't stopped every cunt in my office not bothering to turn up today. Including me.

I am standing at 1000ft wearing my snow goggles and British Antarctica survey team parka sat on my Yamaha grizzly atv expecting the worst. 

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Guest judgetwi
17 minutes ago, cuntspotter said:

I am standing at 1000ft wearing my snow goggles and British Antarctica survey team parka sat on my Yamaha grizzly atv expecting the worst. 

Don’t worry, those sheep are used to the bad weather. Baaah!

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
On 27/02/2018 at 10:19 AM, luke swarm said:

shut up you pipsqueak, my sexual orientation is a personal and private matter strictly between me and my wife Dave

I think it is ok with Roops if I said he was a total dirty slag. @Mrs Roops, we require your guidance, you saucy slut.

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