Eric Cuntman Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 8 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: Imagine having dinner at the Captain's table? I'd rather eat on the open deck in the rain... Some fucking boring cunt going on about some seafaring shit, charts and longitude/latitude bollocks. Imagine you let slip and told him/her you'd been sniffing coke all evening and didn't fancy the shite dinner... He/she would grass you up and have you taken off the ship at the next port. Why the fuck is the captain even having dinner when he/she should be at the helm anyways. It's no wonder the Titanic sank. I’m guessing that they use the term ‘dinner with the captain’. Which when translated beyond the marketing garnish in the brochure, actually means that a bloke in a white uniform walks through a dining room with 450 people in it, waves and smiles a bit, eats a garlic mushroom and fucks off back to the front to get on with driving the boat. Deluded fucking cunt passengers don’t realise that the term ‘VIP’ hasn’t actually meant anything since 1950. It’s just a term used to make peasants feel important and pay a premium for a fairly basic service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: Withers, you're clearly a seasoned and regular cruise ship cruiser (or whatever term is used to describe the sad bastards) aren't you? Tell me, do you exaggerate your French twang in an effort to appear sophisticated and cultured and get noticed? I can imagine you now, trying to get the nearest table to the Captains, annoying the waiter by asking questions like 'has the chicken been sous vide' semi shouting words like gastronomy and c'est magnifique and generally acting like an arrogant French cunt... and you wonder why most Chefs wipe your food on their bollocks prior to sending it to 'The annoying professional Frenchman'. You really need to calm it down, nobodies impressed. Lol. Nothing new here. Moving on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 On 16/01/2023 at 15:32, Eric Cuntman said: There’s a certain type of middle aged couple who go on cruises. He owns a tick over business, carpet warehouse etc’, but acts like a millionaire. She’s a stupid, gone to seed cunt who starts drinking at 10am. They have a couple of foo-foo dogs named ‘Whisky & Soda. She spends the entire cruise harassing other passengers into taking photos of her holding wine glasses. And spends the following year telling any cunt who’ll listen, that they had “complimentary champagne cocktails, and dinner with the captain!” Yeah, so did the other 1000 cunts who had ‘VIP’ printed on their boarding pass. Thick fucking alcoholic wankers, living beyond their means and miserable as sin. “we appear to be considerably richer than yooooww!” I've been on a cruise years ago. The countries we visited were nice but the concept of being on a floating petrie dish has put me off on going on any more. Plus I had a row with some drunk sweaty who swore blind that I spilt his drink. Later that night i bumped into him near the blunt end of the boat and he started rowing again. There we were in the middle of the night, just the two of us on deck. The thought went through my mind that I could just pick this little tartan runt up and throw him overboard and nobody would be any the wiser. That fucking scared me a bit I don't mind saying, because I nearly fucking did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 12 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: It's no wonder the Titanic sank. Are you calling my great Grandad a shit riveter Raas? Grandad Billy is still a Harland and Wolf legend mate. A Goliath of a man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 11 hours ago, White Cunt said: I had additional angle in mind: Is that the onboard entertainment coming down the stairs? The Drifters maybe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 27 minutes ago, King Billy said: Are you calling my great Grandad a shit riveter Raas? Grandad Billy is still a Harland and Wolf legend mate. A Goliath of a man. Should have been renamed Orange and Wolf, judging by the amount of devil worshipping proddies they had working there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 7 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Should have been renamed Orange and Wolf, judging by the amount of devil worshipping proddies they had working there. Clearly their prayers to the Prince of Darkness went unheard. All that fire down there and bottled it against one fucking ice cube. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 12 minutes ago, King Billy said: Clearly their prayers to the Prince of Darkness went unheard. All that fire down there and bottled it against one fucking ice cube. You talking about the Titanic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 1 hour ago, King Billy said: Are you calling my great Grandad a shit riveter Raas? Grandad Billy is still a Harland and Wolf legend mate. A Goliath of a man. It was all a terrible lie KB, the Titanic never sank because of riveting or any other issue... Your Great Grandad was made a scapegoat. The real story (they don't want us to know) is that some arrogant French bastard called @Witheredscrote de Napoleon (aged 17) was drunk whilst in control of the Titanic, and when learning the ship had ran out of ice, he deliberately crashed into the Iceberg to get ice for his Cognac. The sly bastard managed to get on a lifeboat dressed as a civilian. The old cunt is still alive, about 128 years old and has been rumoured to frequent cunting forums. Have you heard of him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 20 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: The sly bastard managed to get on a lifeboat dressed as a civilian. He’s still got the dress and petticoat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said: Is that the onboard entertainment coming down the stairs? The Drifters maybe? Very likely. Or Sterling Campbell followed by Gary US Bonds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: He’s still got the dress and petticoat. Goes by the name of Lady Penelope nowadays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted January 18, 2023 Report Share Posted January 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: The old cunt is still alive, about 128 years old and has been rumoured to frequent cunting forums. Have you heard of him? Pen? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 9 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: It was all a terrible lie KB, the Titanic never sank because of riveting or any other issue... Your Great Grandad was made a scapegoat. The real story (they don't want us to know) is that some arrogant French bastard called @Witheredscrote de Napoleon (aged 17) was drunk whilst in control of the Titanic, and when learning the ship had ran out of ice, he deliberately crashed into the Iceberg to get ice for his Cognac. The sly bastard managed to get on a lifeboat dressed as a civilian. The old cunt is still alive, about 128 years old and has been rumoured to frequent cunting forums. Have you heard of him? You stupid fucking cunt. Cognac is consumed neat, and warm to appreciate its full flavour. I suggest you stick to your Aldi white rum. Your type love the Ju Ju juice, but I wouldn't use it to wash the goose shit from under my 'skin. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 12 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Cognac is consumed neat Well done for staying the bloody obvious and ruining my yarn. Anyways fuck all that, how old old are then Withers? I reckon you're at least 87... As a young man in his prime, I hope to reach those old bastard ages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted January 19, 2023 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 19 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: You stupid fucking cunt. Cognac is consumed neat, and warm to appreciate its full flavour. I suggest you stick to your Aldi white rum. Your type love the Ju Ju juice, but I wouldn't use it to wash the goose shit from under my 'skin. He's the sort who is unable to work because he is sozzled in coke and not the sort of coke you would mix with rum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 21 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: Well done for staying the bloody obvious and ruining my yarn. Anyways fuck all that, how old old are then Withers? I reckon you're at least 87... As a young man in his prime, I hope to reach those old bastard ages. I doubt you will. A fatal drive by shooting by a rival dealer is probably your destiny. Louis xvi commode, my arse. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 On 18/01/2023 at 01:29, Eric Cuntman said: They check the sides for oar portals before boarding. And Frank bumming a Filipino in the bilge, shouting 'Ramming speed' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: I doubt you will. A fatal drive by shooting by a rival dealer is probably your destiny. Louis xvi commode, my arse. Reported. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said: You stupid fucking cunt. Cognac is consumed neat, and warm to appreciate its full flavour. I suggest you stick to your Aldi white rum. Your type love the Ju Ju juice, but I wouldn't use it to wash the goose shit from under my 'skin. Withers, white rum is for cocktails... I prefer the finer aged rum. Have you ever tried Appleton 12 or 21 year old rums? Very nice, with a complex flavour profile. Definitely better than going down on some shitty goose arsehole, wouldn't you agree? Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 1 hour ago, Penny Farthing said: He's the sort who is unable to work because he is sozzled in coke and not the sort of coke you would mix with rum. Yes, how right you are... would you like some? Fuck that, have an ounce for free and take the lot in one massive line, you might actually post something interesting/funny for once. You'd obviously keel over and have a heart attack shortly after and it'll be at least a 4 hour Ambulance wait, by which time you'll be dead. You could always avoid all of this by topping yourself, with your history on the railways, I'd recommend you jumping infront of the 07:04 from Exeter tomorrow morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted January 19, 2023 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 1 minute ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: Yes, how right you are... would you like some? Fuck that, have an ounce for free and take the lot in one massive line, you might actually post something interesting/funny for once. You'd obviously keel over and have a heart attack shortly after and it'll be at least a 4 hour Ambulance wait, by which time you'll be dead. You could always avoid all of this by topping yourself, with your history on the railways, I'd recommend you jumping infront of the 07:04 from Exeter tomorrow morning. You are a county lines entrepreneur and I claim my £5. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 39 minutes ago, Penny Farthing said: You are a county lines entrepreneur and I claim my £5. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 8 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: You stupid fucking cunt. Cognac is consumed neat, and warm to appreciate its full flavour. I suggest you stick to your Aldi white rum. Your type love the Ju Ju juice, but I wouldn't use it to wash the goose shit from under my 'skin. As you are quite clearly a gay man, what’s your favourite tipple after Franks drippings? I'm not homophonic in anyway so please share with us. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 19, 2023 Report Share Posted January 19, 2023 3 minutes ago, Eddie said: As you are quite clearly a gay man, what’s your favourite tipple after Franks drippings? I'm not homophonic in anyway so please share with us. I have spent all of 45 seconds trying to formulate a witty riposte, but it is easier to simply say 'Fuck off Chocco' Frank's drippings indeed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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