camberwell gypsy Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/chloe-haines-flight-stansted-airport-cabin-crew-trial-jail-sentence-a9331441.html This thick little fuck nugget, Chloe Haines, got pissed up on a flight from Turkey to blighty and decided to scare the shit out of everyone and let some air in. Now I'm no scientist but even little old me knows that it is impossible to open the external door of an airplane in mid flight. This is due to a small thing called "air pressure". Also, planes have a thing called a Cooper Switch that disables the locks when the landing gear is up. This was named after some cunt who hijacked a plane and got the pilot to depressurise the cabin. So if you're on a flight and some drunk cunt or a peaceful who wants to fuck 72 virgins in the next life tries to wrench the door open mid flight, don't panic. Just laugh at the cunt, throw peanuts at them and generally take this piss. Oh, and Jet2 want 86k off this silly tart as that's what it cost them flying back. Yeah, good luck with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/chloe-haines-flight-stansted-airport-cabin-crew-trial-jail-sentence-a9331441.html This thick little fuck nugget, Chloe Haines, got pissed up on a flight from Turkey to blighty and decided to scare the shit out of everyone and let some air in. Now I'm no scientist but even little old me knows that it is impossible to open the external door of an airplane in mid flight. This is due to a small thing called "air pressure". Also, planes have a thing called a Cooper Switch that disables the locks when the landing gear is up. This was named after some cunt who hijacked a plane and got the pilot to depressurise the cabin. So if you're on a flight and some drunk cunt or a peaceful who wants to fuck 72 virgins in the next life tries to wrench the door open mid flight, don't panic. Just laugh at the cunt, throw peanuts at them and generally take this piss. Oh, and Jet2 want 86k off this silly tart as that's what it cost them flying back. Yeah, good luck with that. Are peanuts allowed on flights? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 7 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/chloe-haines-flight-stansted-airport-cabin-crew-trial-jail-sentence-a9331441.html This thick little fuck nugget, Chloe Haines, got pissed up on a flight from Turkey to blighty and decided to scare the shit out of everyone and let some air in. Now I'm no scientist but even little old me knows that it is impossible to open the external door of an airplane in mid flight. This is due to a small thing called "air pressure". Also, planes have a thing called a Cooper Switch that disables the locks when the landing gear is up. This was named after some cunt who hijacked a plane and got the pilot to depressurise the cabin. So if you're on a flight and some drunk cunt or a peaceful who wants to fuck 72 virgins in the next life tries to wrench the door open mid flight, don't panic. Just laugh at the cunt, throw peanuts at them and generally take this piss. Oh, and Jet2 want 86k off this silly tart as that's what it cost them flying back. Yeah, good luck with that. With my customary pedantry I would point out that the current Jet2 fleet comprises of Boeing 737 & 757 variants so no "Cooper switch" which are fitted on aeroplanes with ventral airstairs e.g. the Boeing 727 and some DC9's. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 14 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said: With my customary pedantry I would point out that the current Jet2 fleet comprises of Boeing 737 & 757 variants so no "Cooper switch" which are fitted on aeroplanes with ventral airstairs e.g. the Boeing 727 and some DC9's. I am pleased that you used the word "aeroplane" .. I do not know what these "airplane" things are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 8 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Just laugh at the cunt, throw peanuts at them She might have a nut allergy you evil cunt. What are you. Some sort of soulless murderer? Fucking hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 39 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said: With my customary pedantry I would point out that the current Jet2 fleet comprises of Boeing 737 & 757 variants so no "Cooper switch" which are fitted on aeroplanes with ventral airstairs e.g. the Boeing 727 and some DC9's. Next time you’re off on one of your high powered business trips (lol) make sure you go on a 737 or 757 and sit next to the emergency exit just in case, unlikely as it may be that the door will fall off. Give us some hope for a better future. Just think, even though everyone hates you now, they might hate you slightly less after you’re gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 13, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 58 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said: With my customary pedantry I would point out that the current Jet2 fleet comprises of Boeing 737 & 757 variants so no "Cooper switch" which are fitted on aeroplanes with ventral airstairs e.g. the Boeing 727 and some DC9's. Its impossible to open the doors in mid flight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 Just now, camberwell gypsy said: Its impossible to open the doors in mid flight. Absolutely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 44 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said: I am pleased that you used the word "aeroplane" .. I do not know what these "airplane" things are. Thank you. Aeroplanes and stuff is wot pays my wages. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt-End Of The World Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said: Thank you. Aeroplanes and stuff is wot pays my wages. Are you a fluffer on the Playboy Aeroplane? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Monaco Slim Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 What a stupid cunt, a perfect example of modern women Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said: I am pleased that you used the word "aeroplane" .. I do not know what these "airplane" things are. They are those big, silver, metal, bird-like things that Yanks travel around the world on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt-End Of The World Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 10 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/chloe-haines-flight-stansted-airport-cabin-crew-trial-jail-sentence-a9331441.html This thick little fuck nugget, Chloe Haines, got pissed up on a flight from Turkey to blighty and decided to scare the shit out of everyone and let some air in. Now I'm no scientist but even little old me knows that it is impossible to open the external door of an airplane in mid flight. This is due to a small thing called "air pressure". Also, planes have a thing called a Cooper Switch that disables the locks when the landing gear is up. This was named after some cunt who hijacked a plane and got the pilot to depressurise the cabin. So if you're on a flight and some drunk cunt or a peaceful who wants to fuck 72 virgins in the next life tries to wrench the door open mid flight, don't panic. Just laugh at the cunt, throw peanuts at them and generally take this piss. Oh, and Jet2 want 86k off this silly tart as that's what it cost them flying back. Yeah, good luck with that. It would be terrific if these low budget airlines had the pressure release button inside the passenger cabin, beginning the self-inflicted cleansing of undesirable UK cuntlings. Climate change wankers can argue over the impact of chips and Stella Artois cans floating in the ocean and we can all celebrate a gradual descent of the Essex population, leaving it for much more useful experiments like testing nuclear bombs. This dumb cunt is a trailblazer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 22 minutes ago, Cunt-End Of The World said: Are you a fluffer on the Playboy Aeroplane? Well now, plenty of corporate ego fluffing involved, as well as smoothing ruffled feathers, otherwise kicking butt, asking awkward questions and being a general pain in the arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt-End Of The World Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 1 minute ago, Mrs Roops said: Well now, plenty of corporate ego fluffing involved, as well as smoothing ruffled feathers, otherwise kicking butt, asking awkward questions and being a general pain in the arse. Blimey. Woman of my dreams. Do you have life insurance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Mrs Roops said: Thank you. Aeroplanes and stuff is wot pays my wages. Edited February 13, 2020 by Mrs Roops Punkape.exe (Special Provisions) Rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Joker said: They are those big, silver, metal, bird-like things that Yanks travel around the world on. 'iron devil bird!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 3 hours ago, Cunt-End Of The World said: It would be terrific if these low budget airlines had the pressure release button inside the passenger cabin, beginning the self-inflicted cleansing of undesirable UK cuntlings. Climate change wankers can argue over the impact of chips and Stella Artois cans floating in the ocean and we can all celebrate a gradual descent of the Essex population, leaving it for much more useful experiments like testing nuclear bombs. This dumb cunt is a trailblazer. I doubt there'd be anything 'gradual' about it, given the size of these tuskers and the immutable law of gravity where you just multipy the Barbabapapalike's mass by 9.8m/s squared to discover the precise size of the blob of strawberry jam they're turned into when they hit terra firma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted February 17, 2020 Report Share Posted February 17, 2020 On 13/02/2020 at 02:00, camberwell gypsy said: https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/chloe-haines-flight-stansted-airport-cabin-crew-trial-jail-sentence-a9331441.html This thick little fuck nugget, Chloe Haines, got pissed up on a flight from Turkey to blighty and decided to scare the shit out of everyone and let some air in. Now I'm no scientist but even little old me knows that it is impossible to open the external door of an airplane in mid flight. This is due to a small thing called "air pressure". Also, planes have a thing called a Cooper Switch that disables the locks when the landing gear is up. This was named after some cunt who hijacked a plane and got the pilot to depressurise the cabin. So if you're on a flight and some drunk cunt or a peaceful who wants to fuck 72 virgins in the next life tries to wrench the door open mid flight, don't panic. Just laugh at the cunt, throw peanuts at them and generally take this piss. Oh, and Jet2 want 86k off this silly tart as that's what it cost them flying back. Yeah, good luck with that. Not totally true Gypo. The doors of DC10s used to fly open with alarming frequency back in the day. The pressure IN the plane is higher than outside. So in the event of even the slightest opening of a door the whole internal cargo, people, will be blown out the hole just like in James Bond goldfinger. The cabin crew don’t cross check that the doors are closed properly for fuck all. If a bunch of fucking peacefuls want to open the door.....fucking strap yourself in and wave them goodbye. Fucking smelly turmeric coriander cunts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2020 4 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said: Not totally true Gypo. The doors of DC10s used to fly open with alarming frequency back in the day. The pressure IN the plane is higher than outside. So in the event of even the slightest opening of a door the whole internal cargo, people, will be blown out the hole just like in James Bond goldfinger. The cabin crew don’t cross check that the doors are closed properly for fuck all. If a bunch of fucking peacefuls want to open the door.....fucking strap yourself in and wave them goodbye. Fucking smelly turmeric coriander cunts You cant open a door when the inside is pressurised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted February 17, 2020 Report Share Posted February 17, 2020 3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: You cant open a door when the inside is pressurised. Yes.....but the peacefuls will probably make their own door. If you get what I mean. Without being racist stereotypical about the magic carpet riding, virgin fucking, plastic explosive wearing, smelly terrorist cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted February 18, 2020 Report Share Posted February 18, 2020 Gypps. You need to specify which doors you actually mean because how the fuck are you going to get in and out of the khazi to join the mile high club? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 18, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2020 What happened to Wolfies and my comments? Why have they been removed? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted February 18, 2020 Report Share Posted February 18, 2020 12 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: What happened to Wolfies and my comments? Why have they been removed? There’s a Goebels on the prowl... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 19, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 19, 2020 4 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: There’s a Goebels on the prowl... Not Goebbels then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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