Last Cunt Standing Posted June 12, 2023 Report Share Posted June 12, 2023 I am reading about the plan by the sack of fetid custard to give 29 year old ingenue Ms Owen a peerage. Some have suggested, given he was married to her mother once, she might in fact be his daughter. Some have rather more base suggestions. Others point out the two might not be mutually exclusive, citing Ivanka Trump as proof of concept. Answers on a postcard, please. Whole business smells like a nylon-knickered yeasty Cunt on a summers day to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 12, 2023 Report Share Posted June 12, 2023 Never heard of her so is of no importance to the world. All peers should be lined up against a wall and shot, with the House of Lords being turned into a badminton court. Up the revolution 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted June 12, 2023 Report Share Posted June 12, 2023 2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Never heard of her so is of no importance to the world. All peers should be lined up against a wall and shot, with the House of Lords being turned into a badminton court. Up the revolution ‘Badminton?’ You must be the first lesbian pikey-bird in history. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles from Dublin Posted June 12, 2023 Report Share Posted June 12, 2023 Well deserved. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted June 12, 2023 Report Share Posted June 12, 2023 2 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: ‘Badminton?’ You must be the first lesbian pikey-bird in history. Fuck off. Is that a shuttlecock or a turkeybaster? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted June 12, 2023 Report Share Posted June 12, 2023 51 minutes ago, Penny Farthing said: Well deserved. That’s fucking weird. I was just thinking about what it might say on your death certificate. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 12, 2023 Report Share Posted June 12, 2023 5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Whole business smells like a nylon-knickered yeasty Cunt on a summers day to me. Was this your subtle method of informing female patients that it might be wise to invest in a quart of ‘Femme-Fresh’? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted June 12, 2023 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2023 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Was this your subtle method of informing female patients that it might be wise to invest in a quart of ‘Femme-Fresh’? I was never that subtle, Eric. Stopping to open a window was usually enough of a clue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted July 18, 2023 Report Share Posted July 18, 2023 Never heard of this tepid slag but i bet she is the type of whore that would get your dick so hard that you would feel like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking competition. Hope this helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 19, 2023 Report Share Posted July 19, 2023 13 hours ago, Jake The Muss said: Never heard of this tepid slag but i bet she is the type of whore that would get your dick so hard that you would feel like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking competition. Hope this helps. No fucking way. I’ve just googled it. It looks like one of those 6 foot 2 hulking flowerpots that got too much mutated inbred aristocrat testosterone from its Biological parents. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 19, 2023 Report Share Posted July 19, 2023 I've just googled it as well and it's going on about her being a Boris Johnson Sex-Aide and something about a whip. Oh hang on I'll put me glasses on.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted July 20, 2023 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2023 I see Lady Owen of Alderley Edge has taken her seat and is merrily pocketing her expenses for life, with little to no press attention which is a story in itself. At least she’s turning up for work though, as by the look of Good Morning Britain in my hotel room just now, every other Cunt in Britain is on strike. On my way to the Cricket later I’ll be sure to drop in a bit of lobster and foie gras for my old Consultant chums manning the braziers. That is if I don’t bump into them in hospitality at Old Trafford, the cunning old foxes. Country’s a fucking bin fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted July 20, 2023 Report Share Posted July 20, 2023 1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said: I see Lady Owen of Alderley Edge has taken her seat and is merrily pocketing her expenses for life, with little to no press attention which is a story in itself. At least she’s turning up for work though, as by the look of Good Morning Britain in my hotel room just now, every other Cunt in Britain is on strike. On my way to the Cricket later I’ll be sure to drop in a bit of lobster and foie gras for my old Consultant chums manning the braziers. That is if I don’t bump into them in hospitality at Old Trafford, the cunning old foxes. Country’s a fucking bin fire. Wait until you get to the crematorium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted July 26, 2023 Report Share Posted July 26, 2023 On 19/07/2023 at 14:16, Eric Cuntman said: No fucking way. I’ve just googled it. It looks like one of those 6 foot 2 hulking flowerpots that got too much mutated inbred aristocrat testosterone from its Biological parents. She turns me on Eric, what can i say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles from Dublin Posted July 27, 2023 Report Share Posted July 27, 2023 On 19/07/2023 at 00:33, Jake The Muss said: Never heard of this tepid slag but i bet she is the type of whore that would get your dick so hard that you would feel like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking competition. Hope this helps. Bender you are obviously severely traumatised and brain damaged having thought of using the Sun Life app to record your funeral wishes? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles from Dublin Posted July 27, 2023 Report Share Posted July 27, 2023 On 20/07/2023 at 07:26, Last Cunt Standing said: I see Lady Owen of Alderley Edge has taken her seat and is merrily pocketing her expenses for life, with little to no press attention which is a story in itself. At least she’s turning up for work though, as by the look of Good Morning Britain in my hotel room just now, every other Cunt in Britain is on strike. On my way to the Cricket later I’ll be sure to drop in a bit of lobster and foie gras for my old Consultant chums manning the braziers. That is if I don’t bump into them in hospitality at Old Trafford, the cunning old foxes. Country’s a fucking bin fire. You do have to admit that she is 'ot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted July 27, 2023 Report Share Posted July 27, 2023 1 hour ago, Penny Farthing said: 'ot. I'd prefer it if she'd O.D. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 On 27/07/2023 at 10:48, Penny Farthing said: Bender you are obviously severely traumatised and brain damaged having thought of using the Sun Life app to record your funeral wishes? My funeral wishes are to put me on a bonfire, Viking style, yours is to be mechanically separated and fed to a gang of Columbian crack heads. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 9 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said: My funeral wishes are to put me on a bonfire, Viking style, yours is to be mechanically separated and fed to a gang of Columbian crack heads. Fuck off. I’d love to see what Heston Blumenthal would conjure up for the ‘Todays Special’ menu if he was only allowed 2 ingredients……Pens severed trouser snake and a large tin of marrowfat peas? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 13 minutes ago, King Billy said: I’d love to see what Heston Blumenthal would conjure up for the ‘Todays Special’ menu if he was only allowed 2 ingredients……Pens severed trouser snake and a large tin of marrowfat peas? Coq au Pen? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 23 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Coq au Pen? Giant Conger eel in dry ice with a mushy salsa verde side? £1500 plus service charge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 1 hour ago, Jake The Muss said: My funeral wishes are to put me on a bonfire, Viking style, yours is to be mechanically separated and fed to a gang of Columbian crack heads. Fuck off. I specified the funeral arrangements for all Corner members over 2 years ago. The deceased Corner member is to be placed in a very cheap inflatable dinghy. They will be doused in petrol, ignited and set adrift on the surface of a sewage plant separation tank until the flames burn the dinghy and the deceased is swallowed up by shit and piss. that’s how I want mine, I assumed it would be good enough for you lot as well. But I suppose some people have loftier aspirations. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 18 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: The deceased Corner member is to be placed in a very cheap inflatable dinghy. There’s no such thing as a very cheap inflatable dinghy anymore Eric. 2 to 3 year waiting list and that’s if you can even find an Albanian dinghy dealer willing to speak to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 2 minutes ago, King Billy said: There’s no such thing as a very cheap inflatable dinghy anymore Eric. 2 to 3 year waiting list and that’s if you can even find an Albanian dinghy dealer willing to speak to you. I was only going to get one of those £3.99 orange and blue ones from the beach cafe. A bit austere? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 31 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I was only going to get one of those £3.99 orange and blue ones from the beach cafe. A bit austere? Like a traditional Taiwanese Viking send off into the afterlife but on a very tight budget? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.