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When Shoes Laugh At You


Uncle Meatus

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I'm not around here very often as I spend my time working with unfortunate creatures that have no say but their slippers and shitty shoes just....Oh fuck they are the most annoying thing ever. An old cunt died last week and both his slippers laces looked at me in an annoying way...like....they were smiling but when I kicked them they were angry. I love this lurking gotta go

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1 hour ago, Uncle Meatus said:

I'm not around here very often as I spend my time working with unfortunate creatures that have no say but their slippers and shitty shoes just....Oh fuck they are the most annoying thing ever. An old cunt died last week and both his slippers laces looked at me in an annoying way...like....they were smiling but when I kicked them they were angry. I love this lurking gotta go

Fuck off.

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17 hours ago, Uncle Meatus said:

An old cunt died last week and both his slippers laces looked at me in an annoying way...like....they were smiling but when I kicked them they were angry.

I've noticed a similar thing with discarded trousers.

Getting undressed to go to bed, you casually throw the trousers to a nearby chair, they land in such a way as to give the impression that they may suddenly jump up and follow you around the room.

I don't know whether it's caused by the lighting, or the extra few glasses of Covenant Lavan Chardonnay I had with the gefilte fish.

Spooky though!

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27 minutes ago, Zev said:

I've noticed a similar thing with discarded trousers.

Getting undressed to go to bed, you casually throw the trousers to a nearby chair, they land in such a way as to give the impression that they may suddenly jump up and follow you around the room.

I don't know whether it's caused by the lighting, or the extra few glasses of Covenant Lavan Chardonnay I had with the gefilte fish.

Spooky though!

I'd imagine your trousers follow you around the room because, 1) they've not been washed for some while, and 2) they're caked in shit, making it easier for them to stand up without assistance.

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51 minutes ago, Zev said:

I've noticed a similar thing with discarded trousers.

Getting undressed to go to bed, you casually throw the trousers to a nearby chair, they land in such a way as to give the impression that they may suddenly jump up and follow you around the room.

I don't know whether it's caused by the lighting, or the extra few glasses of Covenant Lavan Chardonnay I had with the gefilte fish.

Spooky though!

The Wrong Trousers.

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1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

I'd imagine your trousers follow you around the room because, 1) they've not been washed for some while, and 2) they're caked in shit, making it easier for them to stand up without assistance.

The fact you IMAGINE that says more about you than him. You filthy, shit obsessed cunt.

I imagine Dulux 076 whenever I see you've posted.

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2 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

The fact you IMAGINE that says more about you than him. You filthy, shit obsessed cunt.

I imagine Dulux 076 whenever I see you've posted.

https://www.dulux.co.uk/en/colour-details?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIs4m3sc6WgQMVwotoCR1BXgnlEAAYASAAEgIbo_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#tabId=item0

 

Which one would you say is Wolf?

I'd say 'Delicate Seashell' describes him to a T lol.

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5 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

The fact you IMAGINE that says more about you than him. You filthy, shit obsessed cunt.

I imagine Dulux 076 whenever I see you've posted.

Drew I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Ape seems to be even more unhinged than usual  to me?

It goes without saying that he’s not been coping well with the disagreements that you and him have been having for a while now. But now he’s started posting random hysterical outbursts about Donald Trump and various other unrelated characters across the pond in the good old US of A. Maybe you should go a bit easier on him for a while incase his condition deteriorates even further. He’s always appeared very close to a total mental collapse imo, and I’m pretty sure he’s got a lot worse recently.

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6 hours ago, King Billy said:

Drew I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Ape seems to be even more unhinged than usual  to me?

It goes without saying that he’s not been coping well with the disagreements that you and him have been having for a while now. But now he’s started posting random hysterical outbursts about Donald Trump and various other unrelated characters across the pond in the good old US of A. Maybe you should go a bit easier on him for a while incase his condition deteriorates even further. He’s always appeared very close to a total mental collapse imo, and I’m pretty sure he’s got a lot worse recently.

Noted. I don't think he's been 'bearing' up very well since that helicopter crash outside Leicester City FC.

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On 06/09/2023 at 17:43, Cunty BigBollox said:

The fact you IMAGINE that says more about you than him. You filthy, shit obsessed cunt.

I imagine Dulux 076 whenever I see you've posted.

After incessantly posting the same shit formula that's earned you a reputation as the site's most drunken idiot, you can take your views about my comments directed at Rabbi Shit and shove them squarely into the same bin that's overloaded with crushed cans of Special Brew, Thatcher's Haze and Tesco 'fire pit' BBQ value packs.

You are the inebriated dickhead who keeps on giving, aren't you? At least you're consistent.

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9 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

After incessantly posting the same shit formula that's earned you a reputation as the site's most drunken idiot, you can take your views about my comments directed at Rabbi Shit and shove them squarely into the same bin that's overloaded with crushed cans of Special Brew, Thatcher's Haze and Tesco 'fire pit' BBQ value packs.

You are the inebriated dickhead who keeps on giving, aren't you? At least you're consistent.

Calm down Mr Beige,

You're coming across as being slightly rattled.

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1 minute ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Calm down Mr Beige,

You coming across as being slightly rattled.

I see you've attracted the support of Captain Kike and the Reptile Mullet, and I'm sure Shetland Schlong "Lady" P will be along shortly to like all of your posts. You're similar to Frank in some ways, aren't you... perhaps only a bit more cunted most of the time. So how does it feel to be among a little posse of posters who, analogically at least, are all remedials sitting alongside Harvey Price in class?    

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24 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I see you've attracted the support of Captain Kike and the Reptile Mullet, and I'm sure Shetland Schlong "Lady" P will be along shortly to like all of your posts. You're similar to Frank in some ways, aren't you... perhaps only a bit more cunted most of the time. So how does it feel to be among a little posse of posters who, analogically at least, are all remedials sitting alongside Harvey Price in class?    

On the contrary, they absolutely fucking detest me but they only give me likes because they dislike you even more. What do you make of that?

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1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

On the contrary, they absolutely fucking detest me but they only give me likes because they dislike you even more. What do you make of that?

Absolutely. I can see you in my peripheral, but I honestly don’t know who you are or what you’re about. A little ‘like’ here, a nudge or a nod there… a wink. That’s all it takes to get the Wolfie’s goat. I LOVE it! 

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39 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

On the contrary, they absolutely fucking detest me but they only give me likes because they dislike you even more. What do you make of that?

I'd much rather be intensely disliked by a bunch of dozy, semi-Down's vacuous idiots. If I may pay you a compliment, it's only your abuse of alcohol which makes me pigeonhole you with them, as the source of your stupidity, though clearly natural, can't be completely because of it. I reckon you're set 3/4 – perhaps kinship with a B&Q store assistant, but not quite Lidl checkout.   

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1 minute ago, Frank said:

Absolutely. I can see you in my peripheral, but I honestly don’t know who you are or what you’re about. A little ‘like’ here, a nudge or a nod there. That’s is all it takes to get the Wolfie’s goat. I LOVE it! 

I saw your name on the active users list and made it straight to this thread, where as predicted I find you tucking right the fuck in with that little bald vulture head of yours bobbing up and down.

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12 minutes ago, Frank said:

Absolutely. I can see you in my peripheral, but I honestly don’t know who you are or what you’re about. A little ‘like’ here, a nudge or a nod there. That’s all it takes to get the Wolfie’s goat. I LOVE it! 

I drove past a municipal prison here today. They put the names of the inmates on a board outside. I counted 7 Kleftikos. Three in for buggery, three for bestiality and one for ‘restaurant based poisoning.’ Care to comment?

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On 06/09/2023 at 17:48, Zev said:

I've noticed a similar thing with discarded trousers.

Getting undressed to go to bed, you casually throw the trousers to a nearby chair, they land in such a way as to give the impression that they may suddenly jump up and follow you around the room.

I don't know whether it's caused by the lighting, or the extra few glasses of Covenant Lavan Chardonnay I had with the gefilte fish.

Spooky though!

God you’re fucking chronic.

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21 minutes ago, Frank said:

Absolutely. I can see you in my peripheral, but I honestly don’t know who you are or what you’re about. A little ‘like’ here, a nudge or a nod there. That’s all it takes to get the Wolfie’s goat. I LOVE it! 

Actually Frank, I'm a little ratty today as I've been working the Land Rover in the heat, Christ it's been hot. Have you & Dachsie found time to sit on the little balcony of your Barnet one-bed? I can picture you in shorts & white loafers, with your shirt off, where you can't be seen (lol), cooking in the sun like a rasher of streaky bacon under a hot grill.   

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