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Andy Caroll's watch


Stubby Pecker

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Some Essex scrote has been sent down for trying to rob pony tailed beanpole "marksman" Andy Caroll of his cunting watch by pulling alongside his undoubtedly expensive car on his motorbike. 

Now this prick should have his thieving hands chopped off to stop him doing it again and is a cunt in his own right but not the biggest in this sorry tale.

Said watch is reportedly worth £22,000! Fuck me silly, at that price I'd expect the bastard to be able to stop, reverse and forward time to the wearers advantage.

If I ever meet Caroll I'm kicking him in the balls as hard as I can. That stunning blow will instantly tell him how despised he is for spending more on a fucking watch than many earn in a year.  

I want him and all his poncing footballist ilk dead.

Edited by Mrs Roops
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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Watches are very much like cars. Yes you can spend £60k plus on a top of the range Mercedes but you're still travelling in the same flow of traffic along the shitty A47. Just like Andy Carrolls watch tells him it's 8 O' clock at exactly the same time as my £9.99 Zeon. 

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Guest Alfie Noakes

Why wear a watch when you carry a phone with a clock function? Pointless man jewellery.

A £22,000.00 watch is ostentatious and extremely vulgar. Typical footballing iron.

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2 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Why wear a watch when you carry a phone with a clock function? Pointless man jewellery.

A £22,000.00 watch is ostentatious and extremely vulgar. Typical footballing iron.

It's all relative. If the cunt is being (grossly over) paid (as opposed to earning) circa £100,000 a week, a £22,000 watch is small change to him. Just ask Eddie.

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Guest Alfie Noakes
2 minutes ago, Ape said:

It's all relative. If the cunt is being (grossly over) paid (as opposed to earning) circa £100,000 a week, a £22,000 watch is small change to him. Just ask Eddie.

Eddie's are all fakes imported from Turkey.

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3 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Said watch is reportedly worth £22,000! Fuck me silly, at that price I'd expect the bastard to be able to stop, reverse and forward time to the wearers advantage.

The Breitling Emergency (the "Night Mission" model in black titanium, naturally) is worth every penny with its inbuilt PLB.

I usually buy my top-end watches in the US, but the exchange rate has gone all to fuck of late so there aren't the same bargains to be had. No cunt in their right mind ever buys a Rolex in the UK, though.

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2 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

The Breitling Emergency (the "Night Mission" model in black titanium, naturally) is worth every penny with its inbuilt PLB.

I usually buy my top-end watches in the US, but the exchange rate has gone all to fuck of late so there aren't the same bargains to be had. No cunt in their right mind ever buys a Rolex in the UK, though.

If your scrotum is half as tacky as your choice in timepieces, you'll never get your undies off in time to have a plop CB

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8 minutes ago, ratcum said:

If your scrotum is half as tacky as your choice in timepieces, you'll never get your undies off in time to have a plop CB

Fear not, Ratster. I have people to plop for me.

For refined but understated everyday wear you can still pick up a ceramic & sapphire crystal Rado for under a grand. I hope that helps?

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

I once had one of those Casio watches with the calculator on it. I thought it was amazing how they could cram all the technology in to such a small space. Granted, you couldn't fucking use the thing except for telling the time on account of the buttons being so small that even mini MikeD's micro hands would struggle. What a waste of £29.99

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Guest Bill Stickers
11 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Some Essex scrote has been sent down for trying to rob pony tailed beanpole "marksman" Andy Caroll of his cunting watch by pulling alongside his undoubtedly expensive car on his motorbike. 

Now this prick should have his thieving hands chopped off to stop him doing it again and is a cunt in his own right but not the biggest in this sorry tale.

Said watch is reportedly worth £22,000! Fuck me silly, at that price I'd expect the bastard to be able to stop, reverse and forward time to the wearers advantage.

If I ever meet Caroll I'm kicking him in the balls as hard as I can. That stunning blow will instantly tell him how despised he is for spending more on a fucking watch than many earn in a year.  

I want him and all his poncing footballist ilk dead.

You'd love Andy Carroll's wrist and watch deep inside your anus though wouldn't you? 

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My £10, 3rd Shock Army Russian Tank Commanders watch from The Military Watch Collection of several years ago, tells the time as well as any watch. And it has a picture of a tank on it. And a red star too. Fuck off Andy Carroll. 22 grand for a watch just says you are a cunt with too much money. No cunt has ever tried to steal mine but there again, I don't look gay.

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