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Sunbed Renting


Neil

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14 minutes ago, Neil said:

Any fucking idiot that goes on holiday to a place that rents sunbeds is a grade A cunt.Anyone that rents one in advance is an even bigger cunt.All Inclusive holidays? Exclusive cunts.

I imagine that the fury began well in advance of your arrival in Alicante to enjoy The Sun's holiday voucher scheme.

I can picture you now. Greasing your folds of blubber with those little pots of flora butter, then waddling down to the only unblocked toilet on your EasyJet 3am flight. After struggling for ten minutes, you finally slide your fat fucking carcass through the door with all the ease of a 12 inch shit forcing its way out of a chihuahua's arsehole.

Firmly wedged into the 4x5ft space, you realise that you can't move your arms from your sides in order to grab hold of your tiny maggot in order to join the Mile High Fat Wankers club. Bellowing with rage like an infuriated walrus, you manage to smash your way out of the door, landing winkle first into the faces of a sexually enraged party of Glaswegian stags. Arsehole in tatters, you return to your seat ten minutes later and attempt to whitewash the whole humiliating experience from your memory by making up some contrived fucking bollocks about sunbeds.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
26 minutes ago, Neil said:

Any fucking idiot that goes on holiday to a place that rents sunbeds is a grade A cunt.Anyone that rents one in advance is an even bigger cunt.All Inclusive holidays? Exclusive cunts.

Would you classify fit women who maintain a year around tan and rent a sunbed as idiots?  Personally, I enjoy seeing fit ladies in tiny bikinis with no tan lines....gives my missus the comofrt of knowing she's going to get a stiff one from the sight of those hard bodies...

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4 hours ago, Decimus said:

I imagine that the fury began well in advance of your arrival in Alicante to enjoy The Sun's holiday voucher scheme.

I can picture you now. Greasing your folds of blubber with those little pots of flora butter, then waddling down to the only unblocked toilet on your EasyJet 3am flight. After struggling for ten minutes, you finally slide your fat fucking carcass through the door with all the ease of a 12 inch shit forcing its way out of a chihuahua's arsehole.

Firmly wedged into the 4x5ft space, you realise that you can't move your arms from your sides in order to grab hold of your tiny maggot in order to join the Mile High Fat Wankers club. Bellowing with rage like an infuriated walrus, you manage to smash your way out of the door, landing winkle first into the faces of a sexually enraged party of Glaswegian stags. Arsehole in tatters, you return to your seat ten minutes later and attempt to whitewash the whole humiliating experience from your memory by making up some contrived fucking bollocks about sunbeds.

Wrong on all counts,I holiday in the fucking wilderness where I'm undisturbed by football shirt wearing,bingo winged,fat mooses and any cunt that speaks english,and they usually cost a bit more than £9.50 and a fucking voucher.When have you booked Benidorm for Decs?

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16 minutes ago, scotty said:

I don't know about sunbeds, but apparently the swiss resort the wife has booked me into this year allows me to lie down as long as I like. 

Ordinarily I wouldn't want to ruin your holiday by saying this, Scotters, but I really do hope that you've got an adjoining suite with Frank.

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Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)
44 minutes ago, scotty said:

I don't know about sunbeds, but apparently the Swiss resort the wife has booked me into this year allows me to lie down as long as I like. 

Can she book me a room please? You lot on here can crowd fund the cost.

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Guest judgetwi
10 minutes ago, Ape said:

Why would CC waste good money on your death when literally millions of people would end you without a moments hesitation, and for free?

I have the feeling he didn’t understand it was a reference to Dignitas.

Whooooosh!.....as they say.

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2 hours ago, scotty said:

I don't know about sunbeds, but apparently the swiss resort the wife has booked me into this year allows me to lie down as long as I like. 

This is what comes from working your n*****s too hard Scotty. If I've told you once, I've told you a single time

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Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)
1 hour ago, Ape said:

Why would CC waste good money on your death when literally millions of people would end you without a moments hesitation, and for free?

Come on then, I'm waiting. Also, who are the "literally millions"? Names please.

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Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)
1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Fuck off and keep your nose out of this, Dross, you loathsome fucking worm.

Who the fuck are you? Fuck off yourself!

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6 minutes ago, Albert Ross said:

Come on then, I'm waiting. Also, who are the "literally millions"? Names please.

You're very butch aren't you Albert. I bet you would like to engage all of us in "a straightener on the fackin' cobbles" and "open us up like a tin o' beans". Soppy little bullied at school, dinner money handing over type cunt.

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Guest judgetwi
1 hour ago, Neil said:

Iv'e just been to London,fuck me there's a lot of sunbed users down there!

We follow the example of our Mayor, Suckdick Khan. He flits from sunned to featherbed and back again.

There’s a big chain of these sunbed  places down here, run by a company called Mosque. You see cunts pouring in and out of them all day. They must be making a fucking fortune. 

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Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)
7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You're very butch aren't you Albert. I bet you would like to engage all of us in "a straightener on the fackin' cobbles" and "open us up like a tin o' beans". Soppy little bullied at school, dinner money handing over type cunt.

At lease I'm not a gobshite like you, you brain addled parasite, fuck off back under your stone.

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