Cuntybaws Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 How to tell a masterpiece from a painting by a monkey What this article actually seems to say is that 40% of art students can't tell the fucking difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 36 minutes ago, Snowy the grate. said: I expect fenders use of the odd cum stain to the overalls could bag him an art award,a noble peace prize and a suck off for her majesty,added hobnobs stuffed into the pockets and an empty rizzla packet. Snowie, are you abusing any substances at the moment? All I can picture whenever you post is a darkened room, the only illumination coming from your stolen laptop. Ebeneezer Good on constant repeat, your head shaking like a fucking pneumatic drill as you scream "E'S A GOOD, E'S A GOOD!" into the tear strewn face of your youngest child. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 3 minutes ago, Decimus said: Snowie, are you abusing any substances at the moment? All I can picture whenever you post is a darkened room, the only illumination coming from your stolen laptop. Ebeneezer Good on constant repeat, your head shaking like a fucking pneumatic drill as you scream "E'S A GOOD, E'S A GOOD!" into the tear strewn face of your youngest child. What's it's to you nosey cunt. Prodigy,out of space,repeat till I wake up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 3 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: Art is subjective at best... 1 hour ago, Decimus said: ...that most bollocks of fob-offs "Art is subjective"... "Art" manifests in many mediums, visual, aural and sensory. The appreciation or not of any art form is subjective. Here's a memorable scene from one of my fav films... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 On 6/27/2018 at 12:48 PM, camberwell gypsy said: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-us-canada-44605200/this-four-year-old-s-art-sells-for-thousands Seriously? Fucking seriously? Enough said. What a cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 5 hours ago, southerncunt said: Motor neuron skills?! Fucking spastic. You really are. You haven’t got any so you are the spaz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 5 hours ago, Decimus said: I was completely unaware of this tosser until being dragged around the Tate Modern with Mrs. D, who amongst her other numerous faults, is a pretentious fucking cunt. After passing a wall piece of three dead seagulls impaled on arrows, soon enough we stumbled across a Rothko, which was essentially a canvas painted entirely in red. It was at this junction that I decided to politely ask her "What is this fucking shit?" Cue a boring lecture on the complexities of the shades and textures, followed by that most bollocks of fob-offs "Art is subjective". Call me a Philistine, but if chucking a tin of Dulux over fabric is considered a masterpiece, then that fat spastic cunt Fender could sell his XXL overalls for ten million quid. My sister spent 2 years at art college. She's a talented artist when it comes to drawing, charcoal and painting. She jacked it in after an examination, in which she submitted a series of 3 acrylic paintings of post apocalyptic cityscapes, technically superb with the kind of detail that keeps you looking for ages, discovering new things. She was told by the assessment panel that she didn't have a future in art, as her work was "too precise and polished". Another candidate in her class had spattered paint onto a canvas by flicking it with a spoon, which the panel considered to be a work of genius. she fucked off art college and went into nursing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 11 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: My sister spent 2 years at art college. She's a talented artist when it comes to drawing, charcoal and painting. She jacked it in after an examination, in which she submitted a series of 3 acrylic paintings of post apocalyptic cityscapes, technically superb with the kind of detail that keeps you looking for ages, discovering new things. She was told by the assessment panel that she didn't have a future in art, as her work was "too precise and polished". Another candidate in her class had spattered paint onto a canvas by flicking it with a spoon, which the panel considered to be a work of genius. she fucked off art college and went into nursing. Is she @Roadkill? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 1 minute ago, Bubba C said: Is she @Roadkill? Busted. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 11 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Busted. I knew it was a she. Knew it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 3 minutes ago, Bubba C said: I knew it was a she. Knew it. No, I lied, sorry. Killer is definitely male, lives in Newcastle, and as far as I'm aware has no nursing qualifications. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 28, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 51 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: My sister spent 2 years at art college. She's a talented artist when it comes to drawing, charcoal and painting. She jacked it in after an examination, in which she submitted a series of 3 acrylic paintings of post apocalyptic cityscapes, technically superb with the kind of detail that keeps you looking for ages, discovering new things. She was told by the assessment panel that she didn't have a future in art, as her work was "too precise and polished". Another candidate in her class had spattered paint onto a canvas by flicking it with a spoon, which the panel considered to be a work of genius. she fucked off art college and went into nursing. Did she create works of art with full bedpans? "This one I've entitled "Bowel cancer's a cunt". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: Another candidate in her class had spattered paint onto a canvas by flicking it with a spoon, which the panel considered to be a work of genius. Fuck me. Stubby, are you reading this? Get your bib on EBay, you're about to make it big. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted June 28, 2018 Report Share Posted June 28, 2018 53 minutes ago, Decimus said: Fuck me. Stubby, are you reading this? Get your bib on EBay, you're about to make it big. Imagine stubby’s autopsy. 7 unexplained crayons inside his orafices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted June 29, 2018 Report Share Posted June 29, 2018 14 hours ago, Decimus said: Fuck me. Stubby, are you reading this? Get your bib on EBay, you're about to make it big. It'll never make as much as the cliques blood, shit and spunk splattered communal Y-Fronts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted June 29, 2018 Report Share Posted June 29, 2018 20 hours ago, Decimus said: Snowie, are you abusing any substances at the moment? All I can picture whenever you post is a darkened room, the only illumination coming from your stolen laptop. Ebeneezer Good on constant repeat, your head shaking like a fucking pneumatic drill as you scream "E'S A GOOD, E'S A GOOD!" into the tear strewn face of your youngest child. I think flake has gone off the rails because his bastard monkey "offspring" Gareth has been promoted to bin lorry driver and he's back on loading rubbish, human excrement and dead bodies round the back. The only other theory I've got is the antivirals have stopped working on his bad AIDS. Hopefully he'll be dead by Xmas, possibly sooner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 29, 2018 Report Share Posted June 29, 2018 15 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Did she create works of art with full bedpans? "This one I've entitled "Bowel cancer's a cunt". The fortune teller told me I'd live a long, happy life and have three children. I said "but I've already got four." "I know," she replied. "Leukaemia's a cunt." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 29, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2018 2 hours ago, scotty said: The fortune teller told me I'd live a long, happy life and have three children. I said "but I've already got four." "I know," she replied. "Leukaemia's a cunt." That's not nice, calling your oldest daughter a cunt. I've always considered Leukaemia as being well behaved. Your twins Lupus and Haemophilia are cunts. They're always picking on little Alveoli. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 29, 2018 Report Share Posted June 29, 2018 On 6/28/2018 at 12:28 PM, Decimus said: I was completely unaware of this tosser until being dragged around the Tate Modern with Mrs. D, who amongst her other numerous faults, is a pretentious fucking cunt. After passing a wall piece of three dead seagulls impaled on arrows, soon enough we stumbled across a Rothko, which was essentially a canvas painted entirely in red. It was at this junction that I decided to politely ask her "What is this fucking shit?" Cue a boring lecture on the complexities of the shades and textures, followed by that most bollocks of fob-offs "Art is subjective". Call me a Philistine, but if chucking a tin of Dulux over fabric is considered a masterpiece, then that fat spastic cunt Fender could sell his XXL overalls for ten million quid. I am wondering whether Fender's is actually "viscous" rather than "vicious"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 29, 2018 Report Share Posted June 29, 2018 On 6/28/2018 at 6:06 PM, Eric Cuntman said: she submitted a series of 3 acrylic paintings of post apocalyptic cityscapes, So she visited Stockport, Tunstall and Plymouth? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 On 6/28/2018 at 6:06 PM, Eric Cuntman said: My sister spent 2 years at art college. She's a talented artist when it comes to drawing, charcoal and painting. She jacked it in after an examination, in which she submitted a series of 3 acrylic paintings of post apocalyptic cityscapes, technically superb with the kind of detail that keeps you looking for ages, discovering new things. She was told by the assessment panel that she didn't have a future in art, as her work was "too precise and polished". Another candidate in her class had spattered paint onto a canvas by flicking it with a spoon, which the panel considered to be a work of genius. she fucked off art college and went into nursing. Modern art is full of a bunch of clueless cunts who enjoy calling themselves "artists" despite having no actual skill. Picasso was the cunt who started it all off. Despite being a relatively decent painter he was nothing special until he started experimenting with cubism - which honestly just looks like a mediocre artist hiding his actual skill to the untrained eye. Over the years other cunts who wanted the attention but had none of the skill use the abstract style to hide their mediocre talent by using increasingly obscure descriptions of their works in order to deceive people into thinking there was something "deep" hidden in the squiggly lines. Generations of these fuckers leave us with the obnoxious, clueless cunts that we call art critics today, who will happily accept any canvas that looks like someone's snorted paint and sneezed it over the surface, but detest anything that shows actual preciseness and talent because it simply doesn't come with the "mystery" that they all like to stand around stroking their chins and trying to look smart when mulling over. Modern art isn't for the everyday observer, but for the art critics themselves. Your sister should consider selling her art online, post apocalyptic landscapes are always popular for computer desktops and whatnot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 9 minutes ago, Roadkill said: Modern art is full of a bunch of clueless cunts who enjoy calling themselves "artists" despite having no actual skill. Picasso was the cunt who started it all off. Despite being a relatively decent painter he was nothing special until he started experimenting with cubism - which honestly just looks like a mediocre artist hiding his actual skill to the untrained eye. Over the years other cunts who wanted the attention but had none of the skill use the abstract style to hide their mediocre talent by using increasingly obscure descriptions of their works in order to deceive people into thinking there was something "deep" hidden in the squiggly lines. Generations of these fuckers leave us with the obnoxious, clueless cunts that we call art critics today, who will happily accept any canvas that looks like someone's snorted paint and sneezed it over the surface, but detest anything that shows actual preciseness and talent because it simply doesn't come with the "mystery" that they all like to stand around stroking their chins and trying to look smart when mulling over. Modern art isn't for the everyday observer, but for the art critics themselves. Your sister should consider selling her art online, post apocalyptic landscapes are always popular for computer desktops and whatnot. The best example of artistic cuntery I can think of is Andy Warhol's film, 'sleep', which is 5 hours of footage of a bloke sleeping. Hailed as a work of genius by the beard stroking cunts you mention, but in reality, they know it's shit, but won't admit it for fear of appearing unsophisticated. It's the Emperors new clothes. In fact, the hordes of toadying cunts who swarmed around that spazzy little creep, perfectly demonstrates a lot of what's wrong with humanity. "Look, I've taken a photo of a paving slab! It's art". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 (edited) On 6/27/2018 at 12:48 PM, camberwell gypsy said: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-us-canada-44605200/this-four-year-old-s-art-sells-for-thousands Seriously? Fucking seriously? This is how comrade Roadkill began his artistic career, and look where it's got him. Edited July 8, 2018 by 'eavensabove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 14 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: This is how comrade Roadkill began his artistic career, and look where it's got him. "Inside Albert's Head" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 8, 2018 Report Share Posted July 8, 2018 1 minute ago, Roadkill said: "Inside Albert's Head" I trust that you've been busy with paint & quill? It's high-time that you held an CC Exhibition of your blue-period canvases. It could go viral! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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