Cuntybaws Posted May 10, 2019 Report Share Posted May 10, 2019 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Just received an angry call from a furious Mrs. D who is at Norwich train station travelling back from a course. Despite the fact that I spent the best part of three days raging about being robbed at the station pub, it would appear that the stupid cunt wasn't listening. Said idiot decided to pop in for a glass of wine whilst awaiting the next pony fucking express home. It came as somewhat of a surprise to her when she received the bill of £9.99 for her merlot. My mirth soon turned to apoplectic rage when mid-laughing fit she told me it was purchased with the joint account card. In the words of the rev, I want her dead. What a stupid, fat, miserable cunt. Er, she IS fat, isn't she? I wouldn't want to be unnecessarily judgmental. And when you say "she" I presume you mean birth sex, not just the pronoun she currently self-identifies as? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 10, 2019 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2019 11 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: What a stupid, fat, miserable cunt. Er, she IS fat, isn't she? I wouldn't want to be unnecessarily judgmental. And when you say "she" I presume you mean birth sex, not just the pronoun she currently self-identifies as? She is an intermittent chubster, but currently is bonier than a necrophile's wank bank. She also kept banging on about the amount of blacks at the station. All I'll say is this: You can take the girl out of Kerry, but you can't take Kerry out of the girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted May 10, 2019 Report Share Posted May 10, 2019 Well you can't get a more hermaphroditic name than Kerry. Has she got big hands to hold the big glass of merlot (at £9.99 I would expect a bottles worth) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 10, 2019 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2019 4 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Well you can't get a more hermaphroditic name than Kerry. Has she got big hands to hold the big glass of merlot (at £9.99 I would expect a bottles worth) I imagine that my seven week old newborn has got bigger hands than you, you fliddy little stubby-sucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted May 10, 2019 Report Share Posted May 10, 2019 10 minutes ago, Decimus said: I imagine that my seven week old newborn has got bigger hands than you, you fliddy little stubby-sucking idiot. Congratulations. On getting 'old' and 'new' together in the same sentence so no fucker knows what you're on about. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted May 10, 2019 Report Share Posted May 10, 2019 17 minutes ago, Decimus said: I imagine that my seven week old newborn has got bigger hands than you, you fliddy little stubby-sucking idiot. Is this true @Stubby Pecker? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 10, 2019 Report Share Posted May 10, 2019 4 minutes ago, DrCunt said: Is this true @Stubby Pecker? I won't confirm or deny a thing doc. Having visited Norfolk briefly circa 2008 I think would have remembered receiving a suck off from a bungalow dwelling drunk like Drew. 11 years ago however and my memory isn't what it was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 11, 2019 Report Share Posted May 11, 2019 13 hours ago, Decimus said: I imagine that my seven week old newborn has got bigger hands than you, you fliddy little stubby-sucking idiot. Is that including the webs? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted May 12, 2019 Report Share Posted May 12, 2019 On 11/05/2019 at 08:26, Witheredscrote said: Is that including the webs? all six of 'em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 On 12/05/2019 at 18:25, Neil said: all six of 'em There would be five webs .. have a look at your own hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 As I wrote it I thought 'which prick will say it's only 5 webs?'.....Thanks for the answer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 19 minutes ago, Neil said: As I wrote it I thought 'which prick will say it's only 5 webs?'.....Thanks for the answer You had to think about that one Neil but here's a fucking like anyway, and I bet that you did look at your own hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 1 hour ago, Glowworm said: You had to think about that one Neil but here's a fucking like anyway, and I bet that you did look at your own hands. Couldn't tell,they were wrapped around my cock again! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 I was in Norfolk on Sunday. I was driving down a country lane and came across a sign that said 'Caution, Mud in the road'. I went a bit further and came across Les Gray in a rocking chair with the group singing "Lonely this Christmas". Fucking odd considering its May. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 4 hours ago, Neil said: Couldn't tell,they were wrapped around my cock again! This isn't strictly true. Using the word 'again', implies that there was a time when your hands were NOT wrapped around your cock. I'm fucking turning into Baws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 25 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I was in Norfolk on Sunday. I was driving down a country lane and came across a sign that said 'Caution, Mud in the road'. I went a bit further and came across Les Gray in a rocking chair with the group singing "Lonely this Christmas". Fucking odd considering its May. Fliddie Starr seance again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 14 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: This isn't strictly true. Using the word 'again', implies that there was a time when your hands were NOT wrapped around your cock. I'm fucking turning into Baws. Are you suggesting somebody else's? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 14, 2019 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 38 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I was in Norfolk on Sunday. I was driving down a country lane and came across a sign that said 'Caution, Mud in the road'. I went a bit further and came across Les Gray in a rocking chair with the group singing "Lonely this Christmas". Fucking odd considering its May. I don't know what this means or who that is, but I don't like your tone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 7 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Are you suggesting somebody else's? I doubt it. I imagine that our Neil's symbiotic connection between his hands, and his priapic appendage, is slightly more monomaniacal than a 12 year old with its first smartphone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 3 minutes ago, Decimus said: I don't know what this means or who that is, but I don't like your tone. She nicked it from a single panel, throwaway comic strip from Viz, circa 2006. It's not just me that does that shit then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 15 minutes ago, Decimus said: I don't know what this means or who that is, but I don't like your tone. Eric's old. Ask him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: She nicked it from a single panel, throwaway comic strip from Viz, circa 2006. It's not just me that does that shit then. You seen 'Joe Pesci the cat' from viz? Fucking great 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: Eric's old. Ask him. “That’s neat” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 14, 2019 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: Eric's old. Ask him. That won't be necessary, I've now googled him. If you'd have just said "Christmas paedo-looking Elvis" we could have avoided all this confusion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: You seen 'Joe Pesci the cat' from viz? Fucking great 'The fuck you lookin' at?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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