Security Guards at Gigs

[King Billy]

18 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

untman's patented newbie like milking technique,

I’m putting together a little team. I’ve got a reliable tip off as to where Eric stashes all his likes.If you’re interested RK I’ll cut you in for 25%. While he’s on the door tonight we can have the lot. We can be back at the slaughter whacking up the loot before he’s kicked out the last drunken slag down at the Old Cock Inn tonight. Let me know if you’re in. I’ll be standing under the clock at Euston station at 8 O’clock, carrying a rolled up copy of the Daily Sport and I’ll have a white carnation in the buttonhole of my red velvet smoking jacket. In case there’s anyone else similarly attired just cough three times as you pass and I’ll make myself known to you. This could be the big one RK. I’ve been planning it for six months solid. Nothing has been left to chance. This time tomorrow we’ll be ‘like’ millionaires.

[Ape™️]

Just now, King Billy said:

I’m putting together a little team. I’ve got a reliable tip off as to where Eric stashes all his likes.If you’re interested RK I’ll cut you in for 25%. While he’s on the door tonight we can have the lot. We can be back at the slaughter whacking up the loot before he’s kicked out the last drunken slag down at the Old Cock Inn tonight. Let me know if you’re in. I’ll be standing under the clock at Euston station at 8 O’clock, carrying a rolled up copy of the Daily Sport and I’ll have a white carnation in the buttonhole of my red velvet smoking jacket. In case there’s anyone else similarly attired just cough three times as you pass and I’ll make myself known to you. This could be the big one RK. I’ve been planning it for six months solid. Nothing has been left to chance. This time tomorrow we’ll be ‘like’ millionaires.

He’ll most likely see @Earl of Punkapethen - he loves the old cock in.

[King Billy]

16 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Indeed.

After spending three years as part of a brotherhood of cunts, I've found it hard adjusting to my new state as a solo cunt. I dream about Quincy, Bill, Bubba and Luke coming back to me, but I fear that it's never going to happen.

The first ever one man Cabal.

[King Billy]

9 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Did you know that Roops is a qualified dentist? True, not a wind up.

Is there anything she can’t do? She’s a ‘goddam marvel of modern science’

’Which one of you nuts has got any  guts?’

[Eric Cuntman]

8 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I’m putting together a little team. I’ve got a reliable tip off as to where Eric stashes all his likes.If you’re interested RK I’ll cut you in for 25%. While he’s on the door tonight we can have the lot. We can be back at the slaughter whacking up the loot before he’s kicked out the last drunken slag down at the Old Cock Inn tonight. Let me know if you’re in. I’ll be standing under the clock at Euston station at 8 O’clock, carrying a rolled up copy of the Daily Sport and I’ll have a white carnation in the buttonhole of my red velvet smoking jacket. In case there’s anyone else similarly attired just cough three times as you pass and I’ll make myself known to you. This could be the big one RK. I’ve been planning it for six months solid. Nothing has been left to chance. This time tomorrow we’ll be ‘like’ millionaires.

If one of my precious things go missing.. you know how pissed off John Wick was when they killed his dog? Times that by ten, and that's how pissed off I'll be.

[King Billy]

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If one of my precious things go missing.. you know how pissed off John Wick was when they killed his dog? Times that by ten, and that's how pissed off I'll be.

About as pissed off as Ron Burgundy on the bridge?

[Cuntybaws]

15 minutes ago, King Billy said:

’Which one of you nuts has got any guts?’

Watch out, you'll have Properkhunt out of retirement if you're not careful.

[King Billy]

20 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Watch out, you'll have Properkhunt out of retirement if you're not careful.

“Some of the boys wanted to watch the ball game Nurse Rachid”

[Mrs Roops]

51 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Did you know that Roops is a qualified dentist? True, not a wind up.

Hmm, that was a long time ago - left the profession a few months after I qualified.

[Eric Cuntman]

5 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Hmm, that was a long time ago - left the profession a few months after I qualified.

Unfortunate anaesthesia incident?

[Mrs Roops]

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Unfortunate anaesthesia incident?

No anaesthetic, plus a few slaps when a patient wouldn't stop wriggling. I was unfairly admonished by the GDC.

[King Billy]

24 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

No anaesthetic, plus a few slaps when a patient wouldn't stop wriggling. I was unfairly admonished by the GDC.

I suppose some one planted your fingerprints on that Male models bell end while he was under the anaesthetic?

[camberwell gypsy]

34 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

No anaesthetic, plus a few slaps when a patient wouldn't stop wriggling. I was unfairly admonished by the GDC.

Why have I a vision of the "Is it safe" scene from The Marathon Man? 

[Mrs Roops]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

I suppose some one planted your fingerprints on that Male models bell end while he was under the anaesthetic?

Billy, I was sorry to read of the multiple extractions. What was it? Chronic and widespread teeth decay? Payback time from ancient bridgework? They're the most common reasons. I must say if you had more than 4-5 extractions in one sitting then that's well 'ard.

Anyway, to cheer you up and in the style of a well-known fortnightly periodical's Poetry Corner, I've penned a poem...

In Memoriam Billy's Teeth

So. Farewell
Then Billy's teeth.
The pearly whites
Have been called to
The Pearly Gates.

Keith's mum
Said, Billy's
Bark was always
Worse than his bite.

E.J. Roops  (17½ Bur)

[King Billy]

14 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Billy, I was sorry to read of the multiple extractions. What was it? Chronic and widespread teeth decay? Payback time from ancient bridgework? They're the most common reasons. I must say if you had more than 4-5 extractions in one sitting then that's well 'ard.

Anyway, to cheer you up and in the style of a well-known fortnightly periodical's Poetry Corner, I've penned a poem...

In Memoriam Billy's Teeth

So. Farewell
Then Billy's teeth.
The pearly whites
Have been called to
The Pearly Gates.

Keith's mum
Said, Billy's
Bark was always
Worse than his bite.

E.J. Roops  (17½ Bur)

Thank you for your beautiful ditty. A 4 tooth bridge at the upper front had thrown in the towel after 20 odd years and rather than spend half my life having bits and pieces put right I decided to have em all out and implants all round. As you say the shock to my system afterwards wasn’t a pleasant thing to go through, but if Id had it done in two or three sittings I think it would have been double or triple the grief for just slightly less pain each time. So I’m glad it’s done now. Thank you for your concern though and fuck off. LOL

[PANZER MURPHY]

Thats shite roops baby 

Panzermurphybaby 

[King Billy]

Just now, PANZER MURPHY said:

Thats shite roops baby 

Panzermurphybaby 

You’ve ruined the moment now. 

Cockblocker.

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Why have I a vision of the "Is it safe" scene from The Marathon Man? 

‘Der Weisse Engele’

[Roadkill]

6 minutes ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

Thats shite roops baby 

Panzermurphybaby 

Are you fucking kidding me? That's the most human I've ever seen her act, approaching another punter, not with the intention of arguing with them or banning them, just to indulge in harmless, lighthearted banter.

9/10, Roops - almost human. Proud of you 👍

[Eric Cuntman]

46 minutes ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

Thats shite roops baby 

Panzermurphybaby 

If it rhymes, it's poetry. If it doesn't it's bollocks. 

[Ape™️]

38 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Are you fucking kidding me? That's the most human I've ever seen her act, approaching another punter, not with the intention of arguing with them or banning them, just to indulge in harmless, lighthearted banter.

9/10, Roops - almost human. Proud of you 👍

Yes, it was a rare insight into the human behind the Roops persona. However, it was also fucking dreadful.

[Mrs Roops]

56 minutes ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

Thats shite roops baby 

Panzermurphybaby 

The Corner's new resident champion gurner has oft quoted Private Eye, sometimes at my expense. I thought he would appreciate a poem in the style of E.J. Thribb.

[Jake The Muss]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

Are you fucking kidding me? That's the most human I've ever seen her act, approaching another punter, not with the intention of arguing with them or banning them, just to indulge in harmless, lighthearted banter.

9/10, Roops - almost human. Proud of you 👍

Well good old Roopsy. Personally I thought it was a bit ropey but hey maybe the daft cow is getting the hang or trying to get the hang of banter after many many attempts. 

The jury is out on that one. 

[Mrs Roops]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

Thank you for your beautiful ditty. A 4 tooth bridge at the upper front had thrown in the towel after 20 odd years and rather than spend half my life having bits and pieces put right I decided to have em all out and implants all round. As you say the shock to my system afterwards wasn’t a pleasant thing to go through, but if Id had it done in two or three sittings I think it would have been double or triple the grief for just slightly less pain each time. So I’m glad it’s done now. Thank you for your concern though and fuck off. LOL

You're welcome, Billy. My role here is to educate, inform and entertain all you after all... but jeez Billy, all your teeth?. That's hardcore and demonstrates a level of grit that Eric can only aspire to. The procedure itself doesn't present any problems but you probably had as many injections as extractions, which is fine but when that wears off that creates a powerful shock to the system so, I trust you were kept in for observation for 6-8 hours afterwards. More alarming is that you loosened off several magazines of a fully automatic gun shortly afterwards. What next? Intensive trampolining?

[Roadkill]

11 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

You're welcome, Billy. My role here is to educate, inform and entertain all you after all... but jeez Billy, all your teeth?. That's hardcore and demonstrates a level of grit that Eric can only aspire to. The procedure itself doesn't present any problems but you probably had as many injections as extractions, which is fine but when that wears off that creates a powerful shock to the system so, I trust you were kept in for observation for 6-8 hours afterwards. More alarming is that you loosened off several magazines of a fully automatic gun shortly afterwards. What next? Intensive trampolining?

Oh now I see... You were being a sarcastic cunt. Still, 5/10 - less malevolent than usual.