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The Fall of Kabul


Last Cunt Standing

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2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I've always had a soft spot for Bennetton. They simply didn't give a fuck about offending people. I still wear Doc Martens but only the industrial ones you have to order or get from Screwfix. They weigh a ton, last forever and have built-in shinhammers in the toes. 

There’s a scally in BIRKENHEAD Market who still flogs, and has a stash of 1978 originals, cheap…well, for weed.

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2 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

It’s what I’ve heard. I’ve been overseas for six weeks, I came home and my iPad was plugged in on the kitchen table, the place stunk of shit and there was evidence of congealed ejaculate in Mrs Cnut’s open knicker drawer. Some cunts broken in here and, once again, I’m persona non grata….your thoughts?

I'm still not sure what this is about, but if you were inquiring as to my whereabouts at the time of the 'spunky nickers' incident... I was attending a famine relief seminar with Geoff Capes and Buster Bloodvessel. 

It wasn't me.

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4 hours ago, King Billy said:

Remember the good old days Eric when Doc Martens were the footwear of choice of skinheads, (before the snowflake, vegan mob hijacked them), and the ‘air wear’ logo could be clearly seen imprinted on the face of most curry lovers in every high st.

The Stone Island brigade have priced most hooligans out of the game. It’s a sad state of affairs when a good intentioned thug can’t afford  the approved kit, and knows that if he ventures out with a snide Wembley market outfit on, he’ll probably get a worse kicking than the actual enemy.

You forget Billy, football thugs dropped the whole DMs and rolled up Jean's look, to swap it with suits and tidy polos, so the filth couldn't tell them from the ordinary fans.  

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47 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'm still not sure what this is about, but if you were inquiring as to my whereabouts at the time of the 'spunky nickers' incident... I was attending a famine relief seminar with Geoff Capes and Buster Bloodvessel. 

It wasn't me.

Look Eric, have a little faith ffs. I’ve enlisted professional help here in the shape of former DCI Elmore Davies. You’ve been eliminated from enquiries. I’m waiting for lab results from Chorley but they’re struggling to separate DNA samples from Ape and ProfB…standby for further….

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13 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Look Eric, have a little faith ffs. I’ve enlisted professional help here in the shape of former DCI Elmore Davies. You’ve been eliminated from enquiries. I’m waiting for lab results from Chorley but they’re struggling to separate DNA samples from Ape and ProfB…standby for further….

Elmore is a close personal friend of mine. We were introduced by 'Wolf' from Gladiators at a charity meat raffle in aid of architects with gout.

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8 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Elmore is a close personal friend of mine. We were introduced by 'Wolf' from Gladiators at a charity meat raffle in aid of architects with gout.

I remember reading about that raffle in the Cheshire News. Some haughty bespectacled golf club member who looked like Jacob Rees-Mogg happily reporting his good fortune in winning a T-Bone from John Fashanu. Awooga! 

Ulrika’s breast fillets were apparently well past their best. 

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31 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I remember reading about that raffle in the Cheshire News. Some haughty bespectacled golf club member who looked like Jacob Rees-Mogg happily reporting his good fortune in winning a T-Bone from John Fashanu. Awooga! 

Ulrika’s breast fillets were apparently well past their best. 

They had one of the beneficiaries attend. He managed to fight back the tears as he described the infrequent and moderate pain in his big toe. Whilst designing the Shard, he once spent an entire afternoon in the office with his shoe off, and had to take 3 disprin! Heartbreaking. 

We raised enough cash to send him on a day trip to Felixstowe though. Bless him.

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19 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

They had one of the beneficiaries attend. He managed to fight back the tears as he described the infrequent and moderate pain in his big toe. Whilst designing the Shard, he once spent an entire afternoon in the office with his shoe off, and had to take 3 disprin! Heartbreaking. 

We raised enough cash to send him on a day trip to Felixstowe though. Bless him.

I’ve just watched the S43 (Gout) 100m from Tokyo, in which a rather tubby and heavily bandaged middle aged German IT worker hobbled his way to Gold, and thanked his trainer for guiding him to victory on a Wurst and Lager based training program. It’s nice to see the afflicted do well. 

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1 minute ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I’ve just watched the S43 (Gout) 100m from Tokyo, in which a rather tubby and heavily bandaged middle aged German IT worker hobbled his way to Gold, and thanked his trainer for guiding him to victory on a Wurst and Lager based training program. It’s nice to see the afflicted do well. 

The blind rifle shooting has died on its arse. People just aren't interested in turning up to watch.

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On 01/09/2021 at 22:15, Frank said:

DC I detest the Ape as much as the rest of the board, but he has a point.. what was the thinking behind the ‘Frank’ nomination? It was really bad. 

Frank...mate. I think it's been made abundantly clear over the past several years that yourself and your creepy fucking Norman Bates sidekick, Pen, are not welcome on these pages.

It's time you both slung your respective fucking hooks.

Beat it.

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Frank...mate. I think it's been made abundantly clear over the past several years that yourself and your creepy fucking Norman Bates sidekick, Pen, are not welcome on these pages.

It's time you both slung your respective fucking hooks.

Beat it.

At it again, Dickless, since when do you dictate who stays and who goes?

You really do have an inflated opinion of your own importance, it's absolute cuntishness to hold yourself in such high regard.

Fuck off.

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1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Frank...mate. I think it's been made abundantly clear over the past several years that yourself and your creepy fucking Norman Bates sidekick, Pen, are not welcome on these pages.

It's time you both slung your respective fucking hooks.

Beat it.

Don’t you dare fucking ‘mate’ me, you repetitive little tosser. 

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7 minutes ago, Frank said:

Don’t you dare fucking ‘mate’ me, you repetitive little tosser. 

Or what? You'll dance like a spastic? Call me an idiot for the 965th time? Post a video of your old man falling asleep in a fag burnt, fabric La-Z-Boy whilst he incoherently mumbles a Sinatra song?

Fuck off, Frank. You're about as formidable and threatening as the half dead daddy long legs in my shower that you so uncannily resemble.

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23 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Or what? You'll dance like a spastic? Call me an idiot for the 965th time? Post a video of your old man falling asleep in a fag burnt, fabric La-Z-Boy whilst he incoherently mumbles a Sinatra song?

Fuck off, Frank. You're about as formidable and threatening as the half dead daddy long legs in my shower that you so uncannily resemble.

You have child bearing hips don't you?

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10 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Did Davros feed you that hilarious line? 

The cunt is in its seventies and by its own admittance suffering with poor health. I'd like to think it will be dead within the next five years and that hopefully I'll still be on here to read its deathbed farewell post.

Anyway...

I'm afraid that I won't have any words of comfort for you, Pen. The only goodbye you'll receive from me will be a strong wish that you'll spend an enternity burning in Hell alongside all the other freaks of fucking nature God didn't plan for.

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Guest judgetwi
23 hours ago, Decimus said:

The cunt is in its seventies and by its own admittance suffering with poor health. I'd like to think it will be dead within the next five years and that hopefully I'll still be on here to read its deathbed farewell post.

Anyway...

I'm afraid that I won't have any words of comfort for you, Pen. The only goodbye you'll receive from me will be a strong wish that you'll spend an enternity burning in Hell alongside all the other freaks of fucking nature God didn't plan for.

Bitter

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