Jess Davies

[Goober]

4 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I know, Coalyokel! The Corner’s in peril if fuckheads like @Frank start to deliberately warp what has been said & then suggest police involvement. Irresponsible, cryo-slope shagging weirdo.

What was said that has been warped? 

No wonder I missed it. Who bothers to read Frank's rehashed posts these days? 

FrankBot. 

[King Billy]

7 hours ago, Rev said:

I think it fair to say that a discerning bastard like myself is driven by pragmatism, hence, I'd fuck the piss out of her until her paraurethral ducts resembled a pair of weather-beaten ghillie's waders.

Then I'd have her summarily executed.

I’d willingly fork out for the TV licence if they had the professional integrity to spell it out like you Rev. Just on the off chance, do you have any thoughts worth sharing about Naga Munchetty?

[Roadkill]

22 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I know, Coalyokel! The Corner’s in peril if fuckheads like @Frank start to deliberately warp what has been said & then suggest police involvement. Irresponsible, cryo-slope shagging weirdo.

Right, well then we understand each other. Fuck off.

[Decimus]

2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Fuck knows. Admin are too busy slapping each other across the face with mink skin gloves and declaring intellectual duals to give a verdict.

@Decimus this could be the moment you've dreamed for...

@Dyslexic cnut consider this the commencement of a kangaroo court.

I've received several PMs from concerned members asking me to investigate this matter with my usual thoroughness. On top of this, there have been numerous attempts on this board to draw my attention to your alleged beasting in order for me to dispense summary justice.

There are a number of mitigating factors in your defense, not least of which is that your main accuser is Frank, who I utterly fucking despise. I really don't want to instigate a hysterical lynching, my gut instinct tells me you've been wronged by a greasy, shit-stirring menace. But I need some hard evidence which will totally exonerate you without a shadow of a doubt.

Convince me you're not a wrong'un.

[Roadkill]

17 minutes ago, Decimus said:

@Dyslexic cnut consider this the commencement of a kangaroo court.

I've received several PMs from concerned members asking me to investigate this matter with my usual thoroughness. On top of this, there have been numerous attempts on this board to draw my attention to your alleged beasting in order for me to dispense summary justice.

There are a number of mitigating factors in your defense, not least of which is that your main accuser is Frank, who I utterly fucking despise. I really don't want to instigate a  hysterical lynching, my gut instinct tells me you've been wronged by a greasy, shit-stirring menace. But I need some hard evidence which will totally exonerate you without a shadow of a doubt.

Convince me you're not a wrong'un.

Before the defendant takes the stand, the defense would like to point out that, despite a long and troubling PM history, some of which your honour has already seen, we have never received any messages regarding an urge to have Greta Thunberg shit on their cock from the defendant.

We would also like to reinforce the courts wisely held belief of the prosecution being a shit stirring waste of flesh by also pointing out that the wig they are known to wear would be of far more value to a genuinely needy recipient like a chemotherapy patient and that their taste in footwear is an insult to society.

[Frank]

Plaintiff standing by. Proceed. 

[Goober]

3 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Before the defendant takes the stand, the defense would like to point out that, despite a long history of troubling PM history, some of which your honour has already seen, we have never received any messages regarding an urge to have Greta Thunberg shit on their cock from the defendant.

We would also like to reinforce the courts wisely held belief of the prosecution being a shit stirring waste of flesh by also pointing out that the wig they are known to wear would be of far more value to a genuinely needy recipient like a chemotherapy patient and that their taste in footwear is an insult to society.

Objection! 

The prosecution maintains that even a backstabbing, vermiculous cretin with an unhealthy interest in defending the McCanns can, on occasion, speak the truth. The witness is not on trial here, despite being a detestable fucking cunt. 

Let it also be entered into the record - notwithstanding the accused's propensity to abuse the PM system in an effort to sway opinion out of sight of the masses, to which the former witness has ackowledged he has been exposed - with regard to the defendant's trustworthiness, that he is a Scouse with a huge collection of alloy wheels allegedly purchased on eBay. 

[Roadkill]

*Whispers to @Dyslexic cnut*

That was my entire defence. If this goes the way it's looking I've got a condom of smack in my pocket that might just see you through to the New Year inside, but after that, you're on your own...

[Goober]

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

*Whispers to @Dyslexic cnut*

That was my entire defence. If this goes the way it's looking I've got a condom of smack in my pocket that might just see you through to the New Year inside, but after that, you're on your own...

@Dyslexic cnut don't accept that smack. That's a used condom he's keeping it in so you'll be shooting up man chutney. 

Never trust a Northerner bearing gifts. 

[Roadkill]

Just now, Goober said:

@Dyslexic cnut don't accept that smack. That's a used condom he's keeping it in so you'll be shooting up man chutney. 

Never trust a Northerner bearing gifts. 

Your honour, the defence would like to question the suitability of the prosecution considering these uncalled for, slanderous and quite frankly racist outbursts...

[Goober]

Just now, Roadkill said:

Your honour, the defence would like to question the suitability of the prosecution considering these uncalled for, slanderous and quite frankly racist outbursts...

Racist? You have black sperm? 

[Roadkill]

Just now, Goober said:

Racist? You have black sperm? 

Yes. It's all the coal.

[King Billy]

42 minutes ago, Decimus said:

@Dyslexic cnut consider this the commencement of a kangaroo court.

I've received several PMs from concerned members asking me to investigate this matter with my usual thoroughness. On top of this, there have been numerous attempts on this board to draw my attention to your alleged beasting in order for me to dispense summary justice.

There are a number of mitigating factors in your defense, not least of which is that your main accuser is Frank, who I utterly fucking despise. I really don't want to instigate a hysterical lynching, my gut instinct tells me you've been wronged by a greasy, shit-stirring menace. But I need some hard evidence which will totally exonerate you without a shadow of a doubt.

Convince me you're not a wrong'un.

Should the proceedings result in a guilty verdict, I will with a heavy heart, come out of retirement and offer my services to administer any kneecapping sentence which the court hands down. I feel it’s the least I can do as an impartial observer to the case.

[Goober]

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

Yes. It's all the coal.

That explains it. Still, in this reality accusations of racism to court favorable treatment are treated with the contempt they deserve. 

The prosecution, regrettably, must delay testimony from its star witness, Mr @PANZER MURPHY until a translator can be found that can actually decipher what the fuck he's talking about. 

[Dyslexic cnut]

My comment about being left with the alleged victim ‘Ms Stratton’s barbill’ has been deliberately taken out of context by the pond-dwelling plaintiff and used, doubtless to settle his vendetta against me since I discovered sobriety and rejected his frequent advances.

I had stated that this occurred in the ‘mid-80’s’ in reference to the venue that the event took place in (3 years ago) which is a globally recognised bar/club situated in Durban. (I had cause to stop off here when taking onboard provisions on my Euphrates River cruise.) The ‘incident’ so to speak, occurred in the central bar…known as ‘mid-80’s.’

I submit exhibit #1 as evidence:

80’s Nightclub, or Eighties 

http://www.durban-tourism.com/images/eithies-nightclub.JPG

Eighties is the one of the longest standing nightclub in Durban – a highly rated, popular venue located near King’s Park Stadium. Eighties has a bar and dance floor upstairs, surrounded by an outdoor deck with ample seating. There are plenty of pool tables that provide hours of fun for the more competitive-minded. This Durban venue plays a variety of fabulous music – Dance and House tracks from the 90's – and, of course, the unforgettable 80's – to get you in the mood for an amazing night out. http://www.durban-tourism.com/images/eighties-girls.jpgYou will find 80s Nightclub near the junction of Walter Gilbert and NMR, next to the Virgin Active. Follow the signs for Sports Science Institute and you won't miss it.

Eighties become a lot of fun especially when the Sharks are playing at the Shark Tank (Kings Park Staduim)as after the Sharks rugby everyone either goes to the rugby filed outside the staduim to Braai or goes to Eighties to party. So for a full fun party get down to 80’s Nightclub.

[Dyslexic cnut]

I further submit that it was the good doctor himself who asked me about success with Ms Stratton, nothing was initiated by me and my reply amounted to little more than anecdotal re: my gallantry in paying her bar bill and a negative reply to the Doc’s ‘sexual success’ query.

The plaintiff is a wretched soul and the court needs to consider punitive measures against him for convoluting a disgraceful slur and then threatening to take CC matters to the police…which, I submit, should be punishable by permanent expulsion, preferably from the planet.

[Rev]

2 hours ago, King Billy said:

I’d willingly fork out for the TV licence if they had the professional integrity to spell it out like you Rev. Just on the off chance, do you have any thoughts worth sharing about Naga Munchetty?

Indeed. I'd venture as far as imparting advice to the dreary leftie, pastel-friendly shithouse cunt to let her hair grow out over her comedy ears. The hoor looks like the Scottish Cup with those fucking Sky dishes either side of her intellect-resistant bastard head.

Of course, my favoured and least complex strategy would be to just Sutcliffe the swarthy woke cunt with an ergonomically pleasing length of scaffolding. It goes without saying that I'd fuck her pre, or post bludgeoning really (a pulse isn't necessarily a prerequisite at Coitus Towers), in a concerted effort to demonstrate that decorum hasn't completely abandoned me. Chivalry is my most conspicuous weakness.

[Goober]

21 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I further submit that it was the good doctor himself who asked me about success with Ms Stratton, nothing was initiated by me and my reply amounted to little more than anecdotal re: my gallantry in paying her bar bill and a negative reply to the Doc’s ‘sexual success’ query.

The plaintiff is a wretched soul and the court needs to consider punitive measures against him for convoluting a disgraceful slur and then threatening to take CC matters to the police…which, I submit, should be punishable by permanent expulsion, preferably from the planet.

The court expresses its gratitude to the accused for drawing its attention to Exhibit 1, the prima facie evidence, suggesting inappropriate advances to Ms Stratton whilst she was approximately 5 years of age, posted at 8:01 pm Thursday last. 

Prosecution would like to lay an additional charge of plying a minor with intoxicating substances for nefarious purposes.

The prosecution will concede that the accused does frequently talk bollocks and that the victim does now look at least 60, if the accused also concedes that it has a well documented and self-confessed history of finger banging anything with a pulse. 

[Dyslexic cnut]

2 minutes ago, Goober said:

The court expresses its gratitude to the accused for drawing its attention to Exhibit 1, the prima facie evidence, suggesting inappropriate advances to Ms Stratton whilst she was approximately 5 years of age, posted at 8:01 pm Thursday last. 

Prosecution would like to lay an additional charge of plying a minor with intoxicating substances for nefarious purposes.

The prosecution will concede that the accused does frequently talk bollocks and that the victim does now look at least 60, if the accused also concedes that it has a well documented and self-confessed history of finger banging anything with a pulse. 

I’ll take the plea bargain but I submit that I’ve yet to encounter a reluctant or unfulfilled fingaree.

[King Billy]

7 minutes ago, Rev said:

Indeed. I'd venture as far as imparting advice to the dreary leftie, pastel-friendly shithouse cunt to let her hair grow out over her comedy ears. The hoor looks like the Scottish Cup with those fucking Sky dishes either side of her intellect-resistant bastard head.

Of course, my favoured and least complex strategy would be to just Sutcliffe the swarthy woke cunt with an ergonomically pleasing length of scaffolding. It goes without saying that I'd fuck her pre, or post bludgeoning really (a pulse isn't necessarily a prerequisite at Coitus Towers), in a concerted effort to demonstrate that decorum hasn't completely abandoned me. Chivalry is my most conspicuous weakness.

Tbh Rev you’ve got every other tool in the box. Chivalry could take the shine off your unique and irresistible approach to romantic entanglements.

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

[Roadkill]

1 minute ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I’ll take the plea bargain but I submit that I’ve yet to encounter a reluctant or unfulfilled fingaree.

That wasn't a plea bargain... you just accepted further charges for the admittedly truthful, but completely worthless acknowledgement that she's a bit of a bloated hag...

[Dyslexic cnut]

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

That wasn't a plea bargain... you just accepted further charges for the admittedly truthful, but completely worthless acknowledgement that she's a bit of a bloated hag...

You’re meant to be representing me ffs. Wandering off for for a chew and a spit when you should be summing up? I want the retainer back.

[Roadkill]

Just now, Dyslexic cnut said:

You’re meant to be representing me ffs. Wandering off for for a chew and a spit when you should be summing up? I want the retainer back.

I already spent the retainer on the condom smack! You want a refund, you take it up with Crowbar Jack!

I'm getting out of here before they trick you into admitting high treason and we both get shot.

[White Cunt]

57 minutes ago, Goober said:

That explains it. Still, in this reality accusations of racism to court favorable treatment are treated with the contempt they deserve. 

The prosecution, regrettably, must delay testimony from its star witness, Mr @PANZER MURPHY until a translator can be found that can actually decipher what the fuck he's talking about. 

It shouldn’t be too difficult to decipher the gibberish, but no supercomputer AI entity, screening the chaff for a year, could find a coherent thought process and logical reasoning in any of it. Even if you feed it Panz’ sober statements.

[PANZER MURPHY]

4 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Would you like to clarify these comments panzy?

My sixth finger is hovering over the report button and @Fatty Junioris frothing at the japs eye to sniff out another nonce 

Report away.. i mentioned no names..

PANZERMURPHYBABY