Sebastian Vettel

[Dyslexic cnut]

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You fingered a flid?

She was sort of able bodied at the time, but she had drunk a bit. Honestly, it was like a mouse’s ear.

[Eric Cuntman]

12 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

She was sort of able bodied at the time, but she had drunk a bit. Honestly, it was like a mouse’s ear.

How do proper flids wank? If their hands are growing out of their shoulders and they haven't got arms... they must use a rubber glove tied to the end of a stick, like Tinribs out of Viz.

[Goober]

16 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

She was sort of able bodied at the time, but she had drunk a bit. Honestly, it was like a mouse’s ear.

[southerncunt]

Back on topic, what the fuck is going on with Alpine? 

[Roadkill]

On 28/07/2022 at 20:25, Wolfie said:

In additon to becoming F1's greatest angry spoilt brat, despite a talent at best somewhere below Prost and above Piquet (Nelson), it's only taken the Kraut 15 fucking years and several hundred millions of dollars to decide tackling climate change is more important than a career in F1. What a colossal fucking wanker.

He's had a little whinge about the Monza fly-by this week. Insulting the Prime Minister of Italy in the process by claiming that he was "about 100 years old" and only wanted to feed his ego.

This is a country that gave him all the support in the world when he raced for their team and he's spat it all right back in their faces just to make a throwaway reference to climate change at a race he didn't even finish. The sheer amount of hypocrisy radiating from the cunt at the moment is actually making Hamilton seem like a humble, decent bloke - and that in itself is making me want to vomit up my cornflakes.

I sincerely hope the fucker pulls a Schumacher and spends his retirement as a vegetable, pissing and shitting into bags and clinging onto just enough consciousness to reflect on what an absolute, irredeemable cunt he was back when he was a functioning human being until the end of his days.

Spotlight grasping, hair implanted little soapbox puff.

[Wolfie]

2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

He's had a little whinge about the Monza fly-by this week. Insulting the Prime Minister of Italy in the process by claiming that he was "about 100 years old" and only wanted to feed his ego.

This is a country that gave him all the support in the world when he raced for their team and he's spat it all right back in their faces just to make a throwaway reference to climate change at a race he didn't even finish. The sheer amount of hypocrisy radiating from the cunt at the moment is actually making Hamilton seem like a humble, decent bloke - and that in itself is making me want to vomit up my cornflakes.

I sincerely hope the fucker pulls a Schumacher and spends his retirement as a vegetable, pissing and shitting into bags and clinging onto just enough consciousness to reflect on what an absolute, irredeemable cunt he was back when he was a functioning human being until the end of his days.

Spotlight grasping, hair implanted little soapbox puff.

I'll surely be joining tens of millions of F1 fans in delight when both do-gooding cunts retire. Their egos have reached boiling point. Vettel is being allowed to indoctrinate his idealogy into everyone's daily lives, but he's so far up his jacksie he's failed to grasp just how many people despise him for it. This is echoed by wanker Hamilton, whose shared messiah complex blinds him to his own unbelievable hypocrisy.

F1 ought to be a little bit magical and otherwordly – epitomised by Ferrari and the tifosi – where we can all escape for a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon from the rigmarole of daily life. Vettel has indeed spat in the face of the country and team which gave him 14 wins, but he's too arrogant to see it. Aston Martin will undoubtedly be glad to see the back of the spoilt Kraut brat, though Alonso's ego will be no walk in the park.

[Roadkill]

5 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I'll surely be joining tens of millions of F1 fans in delight when both do-gooding cunts retire. Their egos have reached boiling point. Vettel is being allowed to indoctrinate his idealogy into everyone's daily lives, but he's so far up his jacksie he's failed to grasp just how many people despise him for it. This is echoed by wanker Hamilton, whose shared messiah complex blinds him to his own unbelievable hypocrisy.

F1 ought to be a little bit magical and otherwordly – epitomised by Ferrari and the tifosi – where we can all escape for a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon from the rigmarole of daily life. Vettel has indeed spat in the face of the country and team which gave him 14 wins, but he's too arrogant to see it. Aston Martin will undoubtedly be glad to see the back of the spoilt Kraut brat, though Alonso's ego will be no walk in the park.

Alonso has always been a diva, but at least he's a bit more old school about it. He's burned many bridges by speaking his mind about shite cars and teams, but I have no fucking clue about his opinions on jewelry, the environment or baby fucking seals and that's the way I like it. He's also far more of a developed driver than both Hamilton or Vettel mentally, stubborn enough to get the best out of whatever machinery he's given and not losing motivation just because he isn't finishing where he would like.

He also has an incredible ability to get under the skin of Sir Hamilton and his legions of cunt fans that never stops being entertaining.

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

Alonso has always been a diva, but at least he's a bit more old school about it. He's burned many bridges by speaking his mind about shite cars and teams, but I have no fucking clue about his opinions on jewelry, the environment or baby fucking seals and that's the way I like it. He's also far more of a developed driver than both Hamilton or Vettel mentally, stubborn enough to get the best out of whatever machinery he's given and not losing motivation just because he isn't finishing where he would like.

He also has an incredible ability to get under the skin of Sir Hamilton and his legions of cunt fans that never stops being entertaining.

And he still commands the support of quite a lot his fellow countrymen. Quite an achievement, considering 99% of them are fast asleep, sweating, snoring and farting when most F1 races take place.

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

baby fucking seals 

Our kids aren't even safe at sea now, fucking ball balancing beasts.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

2 hours ago, Wolfie said:

I'll surely be joining tens of millions of F1 fans in delight when both do-gooding cunts retire. Their egos have reached boiling point. Vettel is being allowed to indoctrinate his idealogy into everyone's daily lives, but he's so far up his jacksie he's failed to grasp just how many people despise him for it. This is echoed by wanker Hamilton, whose shared messiah complex blinds him to his own unbelievable hypocrisy.

F1 ought to be a little bit magical and otherwordly – epitomised by Ferrari and the tifosi – where we can all escape for a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon from the rigmarole of daily life. Vettel has indeed spat in the face of the country and team which gave him 14 wins, but he's too arrogant to see it. Aston Martin will undoubtedly be glad to see the back of the spoilt Kraut brat, though Alonso's ego will be no walk in the park.

 

2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Alonso has always been a diva, but at least he's a bit more old school about it. He's burned many bridges by speaking his mind about shite cars and teams, but I have no fucking clue about his opinions on jewelry, the environment or baby fucking seals and that's the way I like it. He's also far more of a developed driver than both Hamilton or Vettel mentally, stubborn enough to get the best out of whatever machinery he's given and not losing motivation just because he isn't finishing where he would like.

He also has an incredible ability to get under the skin of Sir Hamilton and his legions of cunt fans that never stops being entertaining.

It really is a joke when any F1 driver harps on about the environment. Vettel changed as a driver and person when he had children, he lost pace (perhaps not willing to take big risks), daring, and suddenly became concerned with the environment after winning 4 WDC's and knowing he wouldn't win anymore. He's even got a new hippy haircut to prove his credentials. Lewis Hamilton lost the plot ages ago, surrounded by yes people and seemingly treating his Dad like shit. I rate Alonso highly but I'm not sure what he's hoping to achieve with his comeback. A truly gifted driver who managed to fuck it all up with Spygate and badly timed moves. Whilst he no doubt still has pace, no big team will touch him as he's a troublemaker. 

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

or baby fucking seals

The good old days, when clubbing was fun.

[King Billy]

46 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Vettel changed as a driver and person when he had children,

He could have avoided this by following in the footsteps of his fellow Kraut Adolf, who always had someone else drive, and took meticulous care not to impregnate Eva during his chequered career. If the syphilis hadn’t eventually sneaked up and ambushed him, Adolf would probably still be on pole position every other Sunday afternoon, with the rest of the grid following the cloud of Zyklon B spewing out of his exhaust pipes.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

On 02/08/2022 at 22:18, southerncunt said:

Back on topic, what the fuck is going on with Alpine? 

Not a lot until they get rid of Ocon, Gasly would deliver a lot more for the team.

[Roadkill]

55 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

 

It really is a joke when any F1 driver harps on about the environment. Vettel changed as a driver and person when he had children, he lost pace (perhaps not willing to take big risks), daring, and suddenly became concerned with the environment after winning 4 WDC's and knowing he wouldn't win anymore. He's even got a new hippy haircut to prove his credentials. Lewis Hamilton lost the plot ages ago, surrounded by yes people and seemingly treating his Dad like shit. I rate Alonso highly but I'm not sure what he's hoping to achieve with his comeback. A truly gifted driver who managed to fuck it all up with Spygate and badly timed moves. Whilst he no doubt still has pace, no big team will touch him as he's a troublemaker. 

Aston Martin is a new team with a billionaire owning it, they're willing to pay him millions just for the experience of having him in the seat for the next few years, where his biggest challenge will be Daddy Stroll's baby boy still desperately trying to achieve the bragging right that he once out raced a former world champion.

Renault, or Alpine, or whatever the fuck they'll be called next will never make it out of the upper mid field any time soon, they're not willing to pay his asking price due to his age and they're even struggling to hold on to rookie contracts at the moment. Its cynical cash grab from Alonso with a very faint chance of glory if the team can make that mountain of cash behind it actually count for anything during the last few years of his career.

[Roadkill]

35 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Not a lot until they get rid of Ocon, Gasly would deliver a lot more for the team.

Ocon has a nasty streak when it comes to working with team mates - it hasn't shown much with Alonso, but I think Gasly will have a lot more to prove. I expect at least one race where they take each other out squabbling over a position. Some of the shit between him and Perez a few years ago was diabolical.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

27 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Aston Martin is a new team with a billionaire owning it, they're willing to pay him millions just for the experience of having him in the seat for the next few years, where his biggest challenge will be Daddy Stroll's baby boy still desperately trying to achieve the bragging right that he once out raced a former world champion.

Renault, or Alpine, or whatever the fuck they'll be called next will never make it out of the upper mid field any time soon, they're not willing to pay his asking price due to his age and they're even struggling to hold on to rookie contracts at the moment. Its cynical cash grab from Alonso with a very faint chance of glory if the team can make that mountain of cash behind it actually count for anything during the last few years of his career.

Can't see Aston Martin challenging the front for a long time yet, if at all. They may have the money but it's still technically Force India with their facilities and even Mercedes give them their pile of shite current car next year, they'll always be Mercedes sister team like Red Bulls Torro Rosso, Alpha Tauri or whatever the fuck they're called. Lol. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

17 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Ocon has a nasty streak when it comes to working with team mates - it hasn't shown much with Alonso, but I think Gasly will have a lot more to prove. I expect at least one race where they take each other out squabbling over a position. Some of the shit between him and Perez a few years ago was diabolical.

He has a typical French arrogant cunt smirk (like @Witheredscrote no doubt) on his face all the time. I really thought he was something a while ago but he's disappointed... I'd honestly like K-Mag to get a competitive drive at Alpine, I think he brings investment and he's really aggressive. Besides I've been to Copenhagen and the Danes treated Raas like one of their own. 

[Eric Cuntman]

16 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Aston Martin is a new team with a billionaire owning it, they're willing to pay him millions just for the experience of having him in the seat for the next few years, where his biggest challenge will be Daddy Stroll's baby boy still desperately trying to achieve the bragging right that he once out raced a former world champion.

Renault, or Alpine, or whatever the fuck they'll be called next will never make it out of the upper mid field any time soon, they're not willing to pay his asking price due to his age and they're even struggling to hold on to rookie contracts at the moment. Its cynical cash grab from Alonso with a very faint chance of glory if the team can make that mountain of cash behind it actually count for anything during the last few years of his career.

Is ‘Alpine’ the same company that used to rework BMWs under license from the factory?

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Is ‘Alpine’ the same company that used to rework BMWs under license from the factory?

Alpina, if you ever see one around, I'm 90% sure the owner is a drug dealer. 

[Roadkill]

18 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Is ‘Alpine’ the same company that used to rework BMWs under license from the factory?

It's the high end sporting tier of Renault. Like Audi, Volkswagen and Skoda are all basically the same family.

I think the BMW fiddlers are Alpina.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

5 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

It's the high end sporting tier of Renault. Like Audi, Volkswagen and Skoda are all basically the same family.

I think the BMW fiddlers are Alpina.

AC Schnitzer also, if you see one I am 90% certain the owner is a cunt. 

[Eric Cuntman]

42 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Alpina, if you ever see one around, I'm 90% sure the owner is a drug dealer. 

 

42 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

It's the high end sporting tier of Renault. Like Audi, Volkswagen and Skoda are all basically the same family.

I think the BMW fiddlers are Alpina.

Yeah. Alpina. That was it. 

[Roadkill]

8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 

Yeah. Alpina. That was it. 

I don't think the Germans would trust the French with one of their car brands. It would come back with a ridiculously heavy and complicated air suspension, sliding doors, the engine where the passenger seat should be, the ability to float and handle bars in place of a steering wheel.

[Eric Cuntman]

49 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

I don't think the Germans would trust the French with one of their car brands. It would come back with a ridiculously heavy and complicated air suspension, sliding doors, the engine where the passenger seat should be, the ability to float and handle bars in place of a steering wheel.

I bought a ‘79 Citroen for literally pennies when I was at my first job at a Ford dealership in 1990. It was a trade in that the sales department had given £700 on to sell a new Sierra. The suspension system was a network of miles of tubing, copper pressure tanks and valves. I only had it 6 months until the MOT ran out.

The only positive thing I can say, is that it was quite handy being able to drop the body down over the wheels, preventing wheel clamps.

[Wolfie]

22 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Alonso has always been a diva, but at least he's a bit more old school about it. He's burned many bridges by speaking his mind about shite cars and teams, but I have no fucking clue about his opinions on jewelry, the environment or baby fucking seals and that's the way I like it. He's also far more of a developed driver than both Hamilton or Vettel mentally, stubborn enough to get the best out of whatever machinery he's given and not losing motivation just because he isn't finishing where he would like.

He also has an incredible ability to get under the skin of Sir Hamilton and his legions of cunt fans that never stops being entertaining.

 

20 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

 

It really is a joke when any F1 driver harps on about the environment. Vettel changed as a driver and person when he had children, he lost pace (perhaps not willing to take big risks), daring, and suddenly became concerned with the environment after winning 4 WDC's and knowing he wouldn't win anymore. He's even got a new hippy haircut to prove his credentials. Lewis Hamilton lost the plot ages ago, surrounded by yes people and seemingly treating his Dad like shit. I rate Alonso highly but I'm not sure what he's hoping to achieve with his comeback. A truly gifted driver who managed to fuck it all up with Spygate and badly timed moves. Whilst he no doubt still has pace, no big team will touch him as he's a troublemaker. 

Yep, mostly agreed. The Spaniard has to be the biggest underachiever in the history of the modern era (surprisingly Senna being the other, but that's death for you), and it pains me to see such a fast and accomplished driver fighting for mid-points positions. But you're both correct in as much as the moody cunt has made a rod for his own back, exemplified when he lasted just one season with McLaren and threw his toys out of the pram in the process. Surely a third world title beckoned had he stayed a little longer, those accolades instead going to Hamilton and Button. In spite of just two championships, this because of a very typical Latin temperament (as well as bad timing and poor management), he's still in my top ten greatest ever list. A phenomenal driver worthy of so much more than the history books will ever show.