King Billy Posted August 5, 2023 Report Share Posted August 5, 2023 8 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: was going to ask you about some possible places worth visiting in Scotland. Drive north on the M6 to Gretna Green then immediately do a handbrake turn and head south on the M6 as fast as humanly possible. Or alternatively come off the northbound M6 at Carlisle avoiding Scotland completely, have a zoot or a blast on the crack pipe and listen to Bob Marley in the motor for half an hour before heading back down the motorway to London, keeping within the speed limit to avoid any unwanted attention from the police (assuming that you’re driving a stolen car which is pretty much a certainty). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted August 5, 2023 Report Share Posted August 5, 2023 10 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: I thought you hated lamb Decs? I don't mind it myself. I buy a whole lamb or two from my mate in Wales, organic, chopped, labelled and ready for the pot or freezer. I pay around £140+ and I'm sure the legs were around 3kg each. A frozen lamb leg is also a good weapon if some cunt knocks my door complaining about some drug deal I know nothing about. I’m getting half a lamb next week from a mate of mine up in Yorkshire. Grass fed and all that, £10 just the butchering fees. Mrs Cnut won’t eat it now because my mate, who’s a Cunt, sent her a picture of it pre-slaughter saying ‘why me you bastards?’ I sincerely hope it’s that stupid cunt @ProfB. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted August 6, 2023 Report Share Posted August 6, 2023 Hey, @Roadkill, fancy a swim? https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/aug/05/investigation-after-57-world-triathlon-championship-swimmers-fall-sick-and-get-diarrhoea-in-sunderland-race 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted August 6, 2023 Report Share Posted August 6, 2023 9 hours ago, King Billy said: Bent over a bin behind the food bank or in the alley beside the Jobcentre? Usually in the servants quarters to be fair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted August 6, 2023 Report Share Posted August 6, 2023 7 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Hey, @Roadkill, fancy a swim? https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/aug/05/investigation-after-57-world-triathlon-championship-swimmers-fall-sick-and-get-diarrhoea-in-sunderland-race I like how the contamination was only noticed when actual human beings from outside Sunderland were brought in. The Mackems themselves built up a tolerance for swimming in shit generations ago. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 6, 2023 Report Share Posted August 6, 2023 16 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: The only known picture of Ape without a face nappy on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted August 7, 2023 Report Share Posted August 7, 2023 On 06/08/2023 at 11:31, Roadkill said: The Mackems themselves built up a tolerance for swimming in shit generations ago. It's a wonder that there aren't any on here, they'd feel right at home. LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted August 8, 2023 Report Share Posted August 8, 2023 Some cerebral chewing gum for you next time you’re at the checkout. https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/rishi-sunak-takes-family-to-disneyland-restaurant-where-meals-can-set-you-back-12-000/ar-AA1eWZke They’re laughing at you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 9, 2023 Report Share Posted August 9, 2023 9 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Some cerebral chewing gum for you next time you’re at the checkout. https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/rishi-sunak-takes-family-to-disneyland-restaurant-where-meals-can-set-you-back-12-000/ar-AA1eWZke They’re laughing at you. Harold Wilson took a lunchbox full of Spam butties and a Thermos of Yorkshire tea out with him every time he left No.10. And because of Harold’s prudence everyone in Britain, without exception woke up the next morning to discover they'd become a billionaire. Now that’s what I call socialism. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted August 9, 2023 Report Share Posted August 9, 2023 9 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Some cerebral chewing gum for you next time you’re at the checkout. https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/rishi-sunak-takes-family-to-disneyland-restaurant-where-meals-can-set-you-back-12-000/ar-AA1eWZke They’re laughing at you. It looks like his tart is smoking a tab in front of the kids on the balcony there. Fairplay. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 9, 2023 Report Share Posted August 9, 2023 10 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: It looks like his tart is smoking a tab in front of the kids on the balcony there. Fairplay. What part of the North East are you from again DC? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 9, 2023 Report Share Posted August 9, 2023 On 04/08/2023 at 15:50, Zev said: I'm surviving🙂 Unfortunately, so are you ☹️ Yep you are...but that's because you mong around park shit bins for your five a day. Fuck off you boring fucking shit-sniffing dullard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 9, 2023 Report Share Posted August 9, 2023 1 hour ago, King Billy said: What part of the North East are you from again DC? Mongolia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake The Muss Posted August 9, 2023 Report Share Posted August 9, 2023 On 05/08/2023 at 13:57, Old Chap Raasclaat said: You're so clearly shell shocked and defeated you cannot even engage in reasonable debate. You've taken and continue to take so many hidings which have taken a terrible toll on you and left you in permanent attack mode lol. Relax 'Zev' have a cuppa and some Welsh Rare'shit on toast and then kill yourself. Lol. Hopefully the wanker will skip the cuppa and Welsh Rare shit and crack on with the rest. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 9, 2023 Report Share Posted August 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: Mongolia Silk or Matt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 9, 2023 Report Share Posted August 9, 2023 1 minute ago, King Billy said: Silk or Matt? See through 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted August 10, 2023 Report Share Posted August 10, 2023 11 hours ago, King Billy said: What part of the North East are you from again DC? It’s wor lass that’s to blame, man Billy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 10, 2023 Report Share Posted August 10, 2023 3 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: It’s wor lass that’s to blame, man Billy. Did wor lass call wor pint a queeah? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted August 10, 2023 Report Share Posted August 10, 2023 9 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Did wor lass call wor pint a queeah? She’s been in that many scraps in the alehouse they normally start with ‘Howay, gadgy…did you spill my pint like?’ She drinks wine btw. I still think that must have been the best job in the world…getting pissed in a Newcastle boozer and writing Viz with your mates…then making a fortune. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 10, 2023 Report Share Posted August 10, 2023 41 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said: She’s been in that many scraps in the alehouse they normally start with ‘Howay, gadgy…did you spill my pint like?’ She drinks wine btw. I still think that must have been the best job in the world…getting pissed in a Newcastle boozer and writing Viz with your mates…then making a fortune. Viz was fucking great in its day. The small, one off cartoon strips were superb. ‘Jimmy Hill’s Undersea World’. And my favourite, ‘The Darren Day Story’… ”Congratulations Mrs Day. It’s a bouncing baby loverat cunt!” Sorry about this, but I do actually know Darren Day. He used to turn up at the Crab & Pumpkin in Clacton about once a year. He might be a singing and dancing cunt, but he’s not showbizzy or detached. Drinks, smokes and doesn’t take any shit when he gets recognised by pissed up chancers. He had his Viz comic strip blown up and framed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted August 10, 2023 Report Share Posted August 10, 2023 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Viz was fucking great in its day. The small, one off cartoon strips were superb. ‘Jimmy Hill’s Undersea World’. And my favourite, ‘The Darren Day Story’… ”Congratulations Mrs Day. It’s a bouncing baby loverat cunt!” Sorry about this, but I do actually know Darren Day. He used to turn up at the Crab & Pumpkin in Clacton about once a year. He might be a singing and dancing cunt, but he’s not showbizzy or detached. Drinks, smokes and doesn’t take any shit when he gets recognised by pissed up chancers. He had his Viz comic strip blown up and framed. The Newcastle version of our education system leaves a lot to be desired, especially in many state secondary schools, but I’ll give them this. My inherited son won a prize once, when he could be arsed concentrating for more than six fuckin seconds one term. His prize? A first edition of Viz signed by Chris Donald and Simon Thorp, two of the founders and original writers. They both attended the school for a lecture and said prize giving. Now that’s my kind of English class. I’ll have to root that 1st edition out, it must be worth a few bob now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted August 10, 2023 Report Share Posted August 10, 2023 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Crab & Pumpkin in Clacton The fucking Crab and Pumpkin? What kind of two-bit ponced-up Yates’ Wine Lodge type of place is that, Eric? I had you down as the surly guardian of a spit-and-sawdust type place with an axe in the dartboard where you can order all manner of stolen goods in the toilets. Where men with more eyes than teeth gather to down ten pints in their lunchbreak before they get back to bending girders with their bare hands. Where the bouncer is a fully tooled up gun nut. Now you’re telling me you frequent the sort of twatty venue where they have three types of Pinot and sell hand-cut parsnip crisps to people called Seb and Harriet. Needless to say I’m disappointed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 10, 2023 Report Share Posted August 10, 2023 1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said: The fucking Crab and Pumpkin? What kind of two-bit ponced-up Yates’ Wine Lodge type of place is that, Eric? I had you down as the surly guardian of a spit-and-sawdust type place with an axe in the dartboard where you can order all manner of stolen goods in the toilets. Where men with more eyes than teeth gather to down ten pints in their lunchbreak before they get back to bending girders with their bare hands. Where the bouncer is a fully tooled up gun nut. Now you’re telling me you frequent the sort of twatty venue where they have three types of Pinot and sell hand-cut parsnip crisps to people called Seb and Harriet. Needless to say I’m disappointed. I think you may have watched the Barbary Coast flashback scene in ‘Airplane’ too many times. It was a shithole the last time I looked. Ask @cuntspotter about it. I think he played a gig there decades ago. For the Ivy Benson band no less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted August 10, 2023 Report Share Posted August 10, 2023 45 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I think you may have watched the Barbary Coast flashback scene in ‘Airplane’ too many times. It was a shithole the last time I looked. Ask @cuntspotter about it. I think he played a gig there decades ago. For the Ivy Benson band no less. https://ibb.co/c1FLxZm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted August 10, 2023 Report Share Posted August 10, 2023 7 minutes ago, Frank said: https://ibb.co/c1FLxZm Which one's Spotto? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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