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Those that struggle to find, or sit in, preassigned seating


Ape™️

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Whether it be the cinema or theatre, a train or a plane, it's not unusual, despite having a ticket with a specific seat number on it, to find some cunt sitting in your seat. When you point this out to them they look confusedly at their ticket, as if there must be some mistake, because they couldn't possibly have failed to correctly use a simple and well tested method of seat identification. When I used to do a lot of business travel, I was always amused by the number of fucking idiots gazing in bewilderment at their boarding pass, trying to work out where to sit. It's not rocket science you dumb cunts!

 

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Whether it be the cinema or theatre, a train or a plane, it's not unusual, despite having a ticket with a specific seat number on it, to find some cunt sitting in your seat. When you point this out to them they look confusedly at their ticket, as if there must be some mistake, because they couldn't possibly have failed to correctly use a simple and well tested method of seat identification. When I used to do a lot of business travel, I was always amused by the number of fucking idiots gazing in bewilderment at their boarding pass, trying to work out where to sit. It's not rocket science you dumb cunts!

 

On planes particularly these are the kind of fuckers who'll also make taking what they need for the flight out of their hand luggage into a major fucking event.

And mostly always it's cunts on short flights, maybe an hour or so.

What the fuck do you need to survive for an hours flight? You fucking about bastards.

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I love it - just love it - when I get to my preassigned seat on a plane and find someone else's hand luggage in "my" overhead locker. Sometimes the cunts get quite voluble when their gear gets dumped in the aisle, but none as yet have had the cojones to actually make something of it.

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I love it - just love it - when some I get to my preassigned seat on a plane and find someone else's hand luggage in "my" overhead locker. Sometimes the cunts get quite voluble when their gear gets dumped in the aisle, but none as yet have had the cojones to actually make something of it.

That doesn't bother me that much, it's when some bumbling, clumsy bastard sits behind you and keeps bumping your seat every time they move that has me ready for a killing spree.

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That doesn't bother me that much, it's when some bumbling, clumsy bastard sits behind you and keeps bumping your seat every time they move that has me ready for a killing spree.

The bastards in front are no better. I used to think I had actual Scanners-like psychic powers when it came to them. "Recline and I'll kill you, you cunt", I would think over and over again, and lo and behold, none of them ever did.

Turns out I was saying it out loud.

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Bus wanker.

Usually cycle. I use the bus to go to the city centre,(2 miles,, 15 minutes) Taxi or Ambulance home depending on alcohol level in my spinal and cranial fluids. That is after urinating on some homeless cunts in their cardboard boxes.

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Whether it be the cinema or theatre, a train or a plane, it's not unusual, despite having a ticket with a specific seat number on it, to find some cunt sitting in your seat. When you point this out to them they look confusedly at their ticket, as if there must be some mistake, because they couldn't possibly have failed to correctly use a simple and well tested method of seat identification. When I used to do a lot of business travel, I was always amused by the number of fucking idiots gazing in bewilderment at their boarding pass, trying to work out where to sit. It's not rocket science you dumb cunts!

 

As annoying as it truly is, there are other unforeseen obstacles. Such as finding a cunt pontoon or two, correctly seated, sweating the fuck out like sponges and then me finding out I will be seated wedged between them, like in some fucking vice for several hours. I stand there, starring at my ticket and hoping that some cunt has missed his flight and I will be able to relocate ASAP, preferably before I shit myself due to sheer pressure.

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Unbelievable! We went to Cheltenham IMAX today to see Spectre and witnessed a trio of cunts sitting in the wrong seats, who proceeded to argue with the rightful 'owners' of the seats when challenged. However the rightful owners turned up once the film has started, which makes then far, far bigger cunts.

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I love it - just love it - when I get to my preassigned seat on a plane and find someone else's hand luggage in "my" overhead locker. Sometimes the cunts get quite voluble when their gear gets dumped in the aisle, but none as yet have had the cojones to actually make something of it.

Whether you can afford it or not, I expect you travel economy. That's fine. An overhead locker in cattle covers almost three aisles and usually three, sometimes four seats deep. Are you making this shit up or were you drunk last night?

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Whether you can afford it or not, I expect you travel economy. That's fine. An overhead locker in cattle covers almost three aisles and usually three, sometimes four seats deep. Are you making this shit up or were you drunk last night?

You certainly sound like you have extensive experience of the cheap seats on package holiday flights. 

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You certainly sound like you have extensive experience of the cheap seats on package holiday flights. 

If you say so. 

No hard feelings, bawsey... I thought a child had hacked your account. You might be good at counting cards, but you're not fooling us, minkey. Keep it real. 

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Unbelievable! We went to Cheltenham IMAX today to see Spectre and witnessed a trio of cunts sitting in the wrong seats, who proceeded to argue with the rightful 'owners' of the seats when challenged. However the rightful owners turned up once the film has started, which makes then far, far bigger cunts.

Ape I'm shocked. I had you down as a Fellini or art house fan, not going to see complete bollocks like that Bond shite. Everyone knows Bond films died after The spy who loved me!

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Ape I'm shocked. I had you down as a Fellini or art house fan, not going to see complete bollocks like that Bond shite. Everyone knows Bond films died after The spy who loved me!

Me and the Mrs took our daughter to see it. A mate had said the audio/visual experience in IMAX was very impressive - which it most certainly was. However, the film was mediocre at best and not something I'd normally consider going to. The little one really enjoyed it though, and that's the important thing. 

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Me and the Mrs took our daughter to see it. A mate had said the audio/visual experience in IMAX was very impressive - which it most certainly was. However, the film was mediocre at best and not something I'd normally consider going to. The little one really enjoyed it though, and that's the important thing. 

Besides tourists, backpacking suburbans and Eddie, I sometimes wonder what other sane bod would go to see a film in those ghastly fucking imax cinemas. 

I imagine you measure shit in double decker buses. 

Try the Everyman in Hampstead, you idiot. 

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Besides tourists, backpacking suburbans and Eddie, I sometimes wonder what other sane bod would go to see a film in those ghastly fucking imax cinemas. 

I imagine you measure shit in double decker buses. 

Try the Everyman in Hampstead, you idiot. 

preferable to the sticky floored 'specialist' all male cinemas you and jacko frequent in soho. 

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They've all been closed down now, Ed. These days I order my poppers online and lap up all the cock and balls I need from the comfort of my armchair.

I imagine that your arsehole is slack enough to enjoy a double fisting, minus lube nowadays, so I'm not sure why you are wasting your J.S.A. on poppers.

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If you say so. 

No hard feelings, bawsey... I thought a child had hacked your account. You might be good at counting cards, but you're not fooling us, minkey. Keep it real. 

I suspect no-one else much cares about 2-2 and 2-4-2 seating configurations on the various short-haul and long-haul classes, so my final comment on the subject will be to say simply that I'm afraid you're talking shite, unprecedented as that may be. Perhaps you should point that high powered perception at someone who gives a fuck?

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I suspect no-one else much cares about 2-2 and 2-4-2 seating configurations on the various short-haul and long-haul classes, so my final comment on the subject will be to say simply that I'm afraid you're talking shite, unprecedented as that may be. Perhaps you should point that high powered perception at someone who gives a fuck?

Understood. I just don't like to see you reducing yourself to farcical shite for the kids sake. 

If I'm honest, I'm rather impressed at your machoismo... throwing down fellow passengers belongings into the aisle! Extraordinary. 

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