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Eddie

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These space invaders stand far too close whilst having a chat, for some reason they have to converse within an inch of your face. It does not make any difference if you retreat to a comfortable distance the cunts will close the gap in an instant. They do not have any comprehension that the spicy lunch or afternoon beers have made their breath putrid, even if you screw your face up as a clue it does not register. Conversation's should be at a comfortable distance of at least 1 meter.

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3 minutes ago, Eddie said:

These space invaders stand far too close whilst having a chat, for some reason they have to converse within an inch of your face. It does not make any difference if you retreat to a comfortable distance the cunts will close the gap in an instant. They do not have any comprehension that the spicy lunch or afternoon beers have made their breath putrid, even if you screw your face up as a clue it does not register. Conversation's should be at a comfortable distance of at least 1 meter.

Good nom Edders - I fucking hate these cunts. No, you don't need your fucking mouth 6" from mine to conduct a conversation. Get the fuck out of my face. Makes my flesh crawl.

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Guest Tata Steely Dan

Just like how naturists are always the last folk you ever want to see naked, people that invade your personal space are always the last people you want to be that close to.

Worst cunts are when you're at functions where food is served, and some halitosis cunt is spitting all over your food.

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40 minutes ago, Eddie said:

These space invaders stand far too close whilst having a chat, for some reason they have to converse within an inch of your face. It does not make any difference if you retreat to a comfortable distance the cunts will close the gap in an instant. They do not have any comprehension that the spicy lunch or afternoon beers have made their breath putrid, even if you screw your face up as a clue it does not register. Conversation's should be at a comfortable distance of at least 1 meter.

This is the kind of behaviour that led mankind to invent the 'Stealth Headbutt', you fake a sneeze, simultaneously slamming your forehead into the bridge of the offenders nose, immediately apologise and blame Hay Fever or similar allergy for the unfortunate accident.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Don't get me started on the space invaders that queue up behind you. I like to stand a comfortable distance behind the person in front and then there's either an old bastard that's kicking the back of your heels or some old dear shoving her shopping basket into that back of your knees. Fuck off you fucking cunts or the next queue you'll be standing in will be to introduce yourself to Lucifer somewhere really hot.

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Guest Lady Penelope
Just now, Witheredscrote said:

I am most surprised that anybody wants to get within 6 metres of you, you are so aggressive.

There was an old scrote on the bus yesterday .. he spoke with a posh but crackly voice and spent the entire journey talking about Thermos Flarsks (sic) odd are that it was "G"Ape.

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1 hour ago, Eddie said:

These space invaders stand far too close whilst having a chat, for some reason they have to converse within an inch of your face. It does not make any difference if you retreat to a comfortable distance the cunts will close the gap in an instant. They do not have any comprehension that the spicy lunch or afternoon beers have made their breath putrid, even if you screw your face up as a clue it does not register. Conversation's should be at a comfortable distance of at least 1 meter.

Gas or electric?

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2 hours ago, Eddie said:

These space invaders stand far too close whilst having a chat, for some reason they have to converse within an inch of your face. It does not make any difference if you retreat to a comfortable distance the cunts will close the gap in an instant. They do not have any comprehension that the spicy lunch or afternoon beers have made their breath putrid, even if you screw your face up as a clue it does not register. Conversation's should be at a comfortable distance of at least 1 meter.

I just push them away and say "Whoa back up fuck head, back up".  Worked on my ex-husband anyway. 

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1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

This is the kind of behaviour that led mankind to invent the 'Stealth Headbutt', you fake a sneeze, simultaneously slamming your forehead into the bridge of the offenders nose, immediately apologise and blame Hay Fever or similar allergy for the unfortunate accident.

May I suggest following up with a rabbit punch to the solar plexus. This will render them on their arse fighting for breath. Every cunt will think he's having a heart attack and will close in to help, thus enabling you to escape. And if you're at a do, grab a couple of bottles of vino before you exit. Works for me ?

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Guest Ollyboro
1 hour ago, ratcum said:

You see it a lot in working classes. Or holocaust survivors. Yes.

Not that you see many "survivors" anymore, JT. It's like they've given up. Gloria Gaynor was the last one. She'd have gone down well in Auschwitz.

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14 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

May I suggest following up with a rabbit punch to the solar plexus. This will render them on their arse fighting for breath. Every cunt will think he's having a heart attack and will close in to help, thus enabling you to escape. And if you're at a do, grab a couple of bottles of vino before you exit. Works for me ?

Very good advice, I myself favour an upward dig into the bottom rib(the floating one), always makes 'em spasm like they've been electrocuted. You grab the vino, I'll get the scotch.

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1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

Don't get me started on the space invaders that queue up behind you. I like to stand a comfortable distance behind the person in front and then there's either an old bastard that's kicking the back of your heels or some old dear shoving her shopping basket into that back of your knees. Fuck off you fucking cunts or the next queue you'll be standing in will be to introduce yourself to Lucifer somewhere really hot.

....Or the fucker that coughs on the back of your head or exhales on the back of your neck. 

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1 hour ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

Don't get me started on the space invaders that queue up behind you. I like to stand a comfortable distance behind the person in front and then there's either an old bastard that's kicking the back of your heels or some old dear shoving her shopping basket into that back of your knees. Fuck off you fucking cunts or the next queue you'll be standing in will be to introduce yourself to Lucifer somewhere really hot.

Fucking spot on. I'm queuing for my bastard shopping I don't want some tosser breathing their vile breath onto my neck or listen to them screaming at their cunt kids in a guttural West Country accent (town not country). I like to reverse back slowly and see if they say anything. Same as twats behind the wheel 

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Guest Lady Penelope
3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

My grandad survived the holocaust Ratty, he was fixing Hurricanes and Spitfires at RAF Biggin Hill and wasn't Jewish.

He was very careful with his money though.

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