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Dreaming you are having a slash, only to wake up and find you are having a slash

The Beast

By The Beast
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The Beast

The Beast

Posted
Posted

I appreciate all things piss have been examined on these pages, but this particular cunt has happened to me twice this year. Safely tucked up in my wanking pit, snoring away, fat fucking neck wobbling, mouth breathing, dreaming about the relief of having a fucking Jimmy, only to wake up mid flow.

I hope some of you hairy arsed cunts have suffered this indignity.

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Guest Lady Penelope

Guest Lady Penelope

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, The Beast said:

 I hope some of you hairy arsed cunts have suffered this indignity.

I am unable to confirm or deny the information that you are requesting.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Posted
Posted
17 minutes ago, Lady Penelope said:

I am unable to confirm or deny the information that you are requesting.

what? that you have also pissed the bed, or have a hairy arse?

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Guest Alfie Noakes

Guest Alfie Noakes

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, The Beast said:

I appreciate all things piss have been examined on these pages, but this particular cunt has happened to me twice this year. Safely tucked up in my wanking pit, snoring away, fat fucking neck wobbling, mouth breathing, dreaming about the relief of having a fucking Jimmy, only to wake up mid flow.

I hope some of you hairy arsed cunts have suffered this indignity.

I was on a drug called venlafaxine, which, when mixed with copious quantities of alcohol would cause this to happen far too regularly. I lost a good relationship and several mattreses.

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ratcum

ratcum

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Alfie Noakes said:

I was on a drug called venlafaxine, which, when mixed with copious quantities of alcohol would cause this to happen far too regularly. I lost a good relationship and several mattreses.

even the mattresses were decent birds in low light

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Guest Manky

Guest Manky

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, The Beast said:

I appreciate all things piss have been examined on these pages, but this particular cunt has happened to me twice this year. Safely tucked up in my wanking pit, snoring away, fat fucking neck wobbling, mouth breathing, dreaming about the relief of having a fucking Jimmy, only to wake up mid flow.

Have you checked the shitter to see if your prostate gland has dropped out of your arse? Or your kidneys? Or anything that looks like it shouldn't have been shat out.

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scotty

scotty

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, The Beast said:

I appreciate all things piss have been examined on these pages, but this particular cunt has happened to me twice this year. Safely tucked up in my wanking pit, snoring away, fat fucking neck wobbling, mouth breathing, dreaming about the relief of having a fucking Jimmy, only to wake up mid flow.

I hope some of you hairy arsed cunts have suffered this indignity.

Could have been worse, you could have dreamed about having a shit.

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Cuntybaws

Cuntybaws

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, The Beast said:

I hope some of you hairy arsed cunts have suffered this indignity.

No, I've never pissed the bed, no matter how wasted I am. Give me another 20 or 30 years and we'll see.

However, I do occasionally dream that I've got up and gone to the bog, and them snuggled happily back into my nice warm scratcher. Then I wake up  to the disappointment that I'm still bursting for a piss and have to get up for real, in the freezing cold, to take care of business. That's a cunt too.

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camberwell gypsy

camberwell gypsy

Posted
Posted
Just now, Cuntybaws said:

No, I've never pissed the bed, no matter how wasted I am. Give me another 20 or 30 years and we'll see.

However, I do occasionally dream that I've got up and gone to the bog, and them snuggled happily back into my nice warm scratcher. Then I wake up  to the disappointment that I'm still bursting for a piss and have to get up for real, in the freezing cold, to take care of business. That's a cunt too.

I never pissed the bed matter how wasted I've been. Probably due to the fact I never make it to bed when wasted. 

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

No, I've never pissed the bed, no matter how wasted I am. Give me another 20 or 30 years and we'll see.

However, I do occasionally dream that I've got up and gone to the bog, and them snuggled happily back into my nice warm scratcher. Then I wake up  to the disappointment that I'm still bursting for a piss and have to get up for real, in the freezing cold, to take care of business. That's a cunt too.

You fucking piss taking cunt.

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Ape™️

Ape™️

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, The Beast said:

I appreciate all things piss have been examined on these pages, but this particular cunt has happened to me twice this year. Safely tucked up in my wanking pit, snoring away, fat fucking neck wobbling, mouth breathing, dreaming about the relief of having a fucking Jimmy, only to wake up mid flow.

I hope some of you hairy arsed cunts have suffered this indignity.

This has happened to me before, Proper, albeit when very pissed. In the dream, the piss feels immensely satisfying, which soon changes once the grim reality kicks in. 

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Ape said:

This has happened to me before, Proper, albeit when very pissed. In the dream, the piss feels immensely satisfying, which soon changes once the grim reality kicks in. 

The grim reality that you're you. Yes, I can imagine that would piss most people off Chopper Squad.

Lol

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Ape said:

I’d much rather be me, in any shape or form, than you.

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa. ...you're on fire tonight Ape. I don't know how you manage such original and witty come backs night after night. Hahaha. 

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