Terminal dossers who claim to be self employed

[Guest Bill Stickers]

You meet these cunts in all walks of life. They typically fall into three categories:

Lay-about graduates who claim to be self-employed in some artsy industry like film production, but actually sit around in their parents house scratching their arse uploading YouTube videos that get 37 views. Often have CEO in their LinkedIn profile.

Fat, retired ex-corporate types who were fucking useless at their boring job for 40 years, now claiming to be freelance consultants, but their only client is their mother-in-law who they are fleecing out of a few grand.

Stay at home mums who tell everyone they run their own conglomerate when they are just part of some Ponzi scheme shifting make up or timeshares.

Fucking cunts the lot of them.

[Eric Cuntman]

30 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

You meet these cunts in all walks of life. They typically fall into three categories:

Lay-about graduates who claim to be self-employed in some artsy industry like film production, but actually sit around in their parents house scratching their arse uploading YouTube videos that get 37 views. Often have CEO in their LinkedIn profile.

Fat, retired ex-corporate types who were fucking useless at their boring job for 40 years, now claiming to be freelance consultants, but their only client is their mother-in-law who they are fleecing out of a few grand.

Stay at home mums who tell everyone they run their own conglomerate when they are just part of some Ponzi scheme shifting make up or timeshares.

Fucking cunts the lot of them.

Especially the stay at home mums who hold Stringfellows or Anne Summers parties, have plastic cocks lying around the house and 15 cackling slags round 3 times a week, and then wonder why their kids are growing up with a twisted sense of morality and get pregnant at 13.

[camberwell gypsy]

8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Especially the stay at home mums who hold Stringfellows or Anne Summers parties, have plastic cocks lying around the house and 15 cackling slags round 3 times a week, and then wonder why their kids are growing up with a twisted sense of morality and get pregnant at 13.

Sounds like you had a tough childhood Eric. 

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Sounds like you had a tough childhood Eric. 

Fuckin' right. My 13 year old fanny ruined by giving birth to black triplets.

[Guest Trumpton Bacon]

16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Fuckin' right. My 13 year old fanny ruined by giving birth to black triplets.

Stop whining, it got you into your Tower Hamlets council flat didn't it?

[Eric Cuntman]

53 minutes ago, Ogri Trumpton - Bacon said:

Stop whining, it got you into your Tower Hamlets council flat didn't it?

Fair point.

[Jiggerycock]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Especially the stay at home mums who hold Stringfellows or Anne Summers parties, have plastic cocks lying around the house and 15 cackling slags round 3 times a week, and then wonder why their kids are growing up with a twisted sense of morality and get pregnant at 13.

In this squalid hole of self-selecting hostile and world-weary bitter old fuckers, you still set the bar Sergei Bubka high.

Have a 'like'  - and be careful tattooing those 'go faster' stripes on your wanking wrist.

[Guest Manky]

Self employed is just another word for tax evading.

I would bet that if taxi drivers declared their true income, their tax bills would rise massively. Ditto, corner shops and newsagents. Now if I could find a common thread that joined all the cash rich jobs together, I would celebrate by making them all a bacon butty.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

2 hours ago, Manky said:

Self employed is just another word for tax evading.

I would bet that if taxi drivers declared their true income, their tax bills would rise massively. Ditto, corner shops and newsagents. Now if I could find a common thread that joined all the cash rich jobs together, I would celebrate by making them all a bacon butty.

Self employed = no company sick pay, no holiday pay, no company pension and little job security.

Employed = bitter and jealous of those who are able or brave enough to go it alone and the, ahem, opportunities for creative accounting that self employment brings.

 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

28 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Self employed = no company sick pay, no holiday pay, no company pension and little job security.

Employed = bitter and jealous of those who are able or brave enough to go it alone and the, ahem, opportunities for creative accounting that self employment brings.

 

Unemployed = punkape, fender, monumentalcunt, and hopefully soon applescruff

[Guest luke swarm]

17 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

Unemployed = punkape, fender, monumentalcunt, and hopefully soon applescruff

I think that you may have misjudged Mr Punkape in your rogues gallery.

In reality his entrepreneurial acumen has created one of the best and most successful Rentboy hiring companies in Cheshire, his genius in operating this lucrative business under the umbrella company disguised as a Golf Club for tax reasons is brilliant in its simplicity. It started as a one man enterprise but now has almost a "full membership"

No I feel that you should retract your slur and apologise immediately.  

[Guest Bill Stickers]

8 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

I think that you may have misjudged Mr Punkape in your rogues gallery.

In reality his entrepreneurial acumen has created one of the best and most successful Rentboy hiring companies in Cheshire, his genius in operating this lucrative business under the umbrella company disguised as a Golf Club for tax reasons is brilliant in its simplicity. It started as a one man enterprise but now has almost a "full membership"

No I feel that you should retract your slur and apologise immediately.  

Terminal dosser, or at least it rhymes with dosser.

[Guest Manky]

1 hour ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Self employed = no company sick pay, no holiday pay, no company pension and little job security.

Employed = bitter and jealous of those who are able or brave enough to go it alone and the, ahem, opportunities for creative accounting that self employment brings.

 

You may have a point there.

If I was self employed, I would be fucked in a week. If the only person who could sack me was me, I would get away with murder and leave myself on a self administered final written warning for ever. That would show me who is boss. 

 

[Snowy]

Avon cunts aint far off while they try to sell their shit to people but end up watching Jeremy Kyle all day.

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

On Wednesday, November 22, 2017 at 9:44 PM, Snowflake said:

Avon cunts aint far off while they try to sell their shit to people but end up watching Jeremy Kyle all day.

This ain't 1982 you fucking mong. Things have progressed a bit and we now have Virgin Vie and Tropic on the same bandwagon, albeit slightly more elitist, which might explain why you don't appear to have heard of them.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

Is @Punkape on "holiday"?

[Stubby Pecker]

4 hours ago, Lady Penelope said:

Is @Punkape on "holiday"?

No. I tracked his cardboard dwelling down and burnt it to ashes- with him in it.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

eBay sellers are another breed of cunt.  They lay about never bothering to dress, they bid up prices on their shite from secondary accounts and have multiple chaturbate tabs open while furiously self abusing.  

The only genuinely self employed are those that steal, then turn around and sell out of the boot of their car a few miles down the road.  Right Gyps?  

[Snowy]

7 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

This ain't 1982 you fucking mong. Things have progressed a bit and we now have Virgin Vie and Tropic on the same bandwagon, albeit slightly more elitist, which might explain why you don't appear to have heard of them.

I must admit my knowledge of the cosmetic industry is quite limited being a binman and all , but I do still cross paths with people who sell Avon.

You do appear to be quite touchy about the subject though, so can I purchase some concealer and some lipstick for the wife from you?

You fucking mong.

[Decimus]

17 minutes ago, Snowflake said:

I must admit my knowledge of the cosmetic industry is quite limited being a binman and all , but I do still cross paths with people who sell Avon.

You do appear to be quite touchy about the subject though, so can I purchase some concealer and some lipstick for the wife from you?

You fucking mong.

You'll have to forgive Drew, as demonstrated on another thread he's quite upset about his refuse collection. Plus he's a chronic alcoholic and a cunt, so not exactly renowned for his patience.

You're certainly not helping his anger levels by admitting that you earn a living whilst hanging off of the back of a Biffa lorry with a roll-up dangling out of your toothless fucking gob.

Prole cunt.

 

[camberwell gypsy]

On 22/11/2017 at 1:59 PM, Eric Cuntman said:

Fair point.

Is that the name of the tower block?

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said:

eBay sellers are another breed of cunt.  They lay about never bothering to dress, they bid up prices on their shite from secondary accounts and have multiple chaturbate tabs open while furiously self abusing.  

The only genuinely self employed are those that steal, then turn around and sell out of the boot of their car a few miles down the road.  Right Gyps?  

😉

[The Beast]

@William T.D. Stickers you were warned by Mrs Roops earlier today about comments referring to sexual proclivities of relatives of other contributors, but you stuck your clumsy fucking foot in it again. You are reacting badly to having (in your own stupid fucking words) your trousers taken down and your arse spanked on here the last 48 hours. Some may even call it full Jazz.

[Decimus]

1 minute ago, The Beast said:

@William T.D. Stickers you were warned by Mrs Roops earlier today about comments referring to sexual proclivities of relatives of other contributors, but you stuck your clumsy fucking foot in it again. You are reacting badly to having (in your own stupid fucking words) your trousers taken down and your arse spanked on here the last 48 hours. Some may even call it full Jazz.

I'll have a word with him when he's back.

Consider it dealt with.

[Mrs Roops]

4 minutes ago, The Beast said:

@William T.D. Stickers you were warned by Mrs Roops earlier today about comments referring to sexual proclivities of relatives of other contributors, but you stuck your clumsy fucking foot in it again. You are reacting badly to having (in your own stupid fucking words) your trousers taken down and your arse spanked on here the last 48 hours. Some may even call it full Jazz.

He was placed in the cooler for a week a few minutes ago.