Middled aged lone ringers at football pitches

[Guest Bill Stickers]

I know for most of you old cunts, the most strenuous activity you get up to is shuffling to the corner shop for a pack of Old Holborn tobacco, a few cans of generic polish larger and a top up for your prepaid electricity meter.

For those of us still young enough to have at least 4 mates they actually meet up with more than once a year, and a working pair of legs, a weekly game of 5 a side is a good laugh.

Problem is there’s usually one or two lonely fat old cunts loitering round asking if “anyone needs a spare player”.

Invariably dressed in a some late 80s kappa gear with suspicious stains all over, and stinking of BO just from walking out of the changing rooms, when you say no (as you clearly have 5 players on each side already) they move around with a dog faced look hoping you’ll feel sorry for them and give them a run out.

If you’re ever foolish enough to take them up on the offer, you quickly realise they play like bambi on ice on ketamine, and have the mental temperament of Eric after a few lunchtime litres of snakebite.

Prone to two footed lunges, own goal hat-tricks and general idiocy, they’d be best staying indoors and drinking themselves to death like the rest of you. 

Lol. Fuck off. 

[Ape™️]

I can’t imagine you having any mates.

[PANZER MURPHY]

I dont playfootball or have mates I run at night and see nobody ..I prefer it that way

Panzerknacker 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

2 minutes ago, Ape said:

I can’t imagine you having any mates.

It’s due to your limited frame of reference - that of a total fucking loner.

I mean, you own a remote control helicopter man. 

[cuntspotter]

4 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

I dont playfootball or have mates I run at night and see nobody ..I prefer it that way

Panzerknacker 

Away from the guards?

[Ape™️]

2 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

It’s due to your limited frame of reference - that of a total fucking loner.

I mean, you own a remote control helicopter man. 

Rattled.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

5 minutes ago, Ape said:

Rattled.

I’ll let others be the judge of that 

[Bubba C]

Experienced this recently. Some stupid fucking cunt was bleating on about how good a ‘keeper he was and he’d save everything with his Sondico gloves. 

As none of us ever fancy playing in goals, we gave him a chance. 

Fuck me, having conceded 4 goals (2 from back-passes) and given away a penalty in the first 5 minutes alone, he was duly told to fuck off. 

We lost. 

[Witheredscrote]

3 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Experienced this recently. Some stupid fucking cunt was bleating on about how good a ‘keeper he was and he’d save everything with his Sondico gloves. 

As none of us ever fancy playing in goals, we gave him a chance. 

Fuck me, having conceded 4 goals (2 from back-passes) and given away a penalty in the first 5 minutes alone, he was duly told to fuck off. 

We lost. 

Who the fuck does Bill think he's kidding. 5 a side?  The only exercise the flabby wanker has indulged in is 5 a side rimming.  Filthy little cunt.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

4 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Who the fuck does Bill think he's kidding. 5 a side?  The only exercise the flabby wanker has indulged in is 5 a side rimming.  Filthy little cunt.

I’d love to see you limp wristedly playing a game of Boules with all the other coffin dodging Gallic cunts at the hospice.

Do they let you on the grass in your rickety old wheelchair? 

[PANZER MURPHY]

1 hour ago, cuntspotter said:

Away from the guards?

Laffin. .A.R.U.

Panzerknacker 

[Decimus]

40 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

I’d love to see you limp wristedly playing a game of Boules with all the other coffin dodging Gallic cunts at the hospice.

Do they let you on the grass in your rickety old wheelchair? 

I imagine that Withers is one of those infuriating ex-pats who tries to be more French than the French.

Turning up to the boules and refusing to communicate unless it's through the medium of mime artistry whilst repeatedly spitting on the floor. Shrugging his tiny fucking shoulders nonchalantly until the remains of his chemo-ravaged hair falls out and utterly ruins whatever greasy fucking shit his froggy mates have brought for the half-time lunch break.

I fucking hate him.

 

 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

47 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

I’d love to see you limp wristedly playing a game of Boules with all the other coffin dodging Gallic cunts at the hospice.

Do they let you on the grass in your rickety old wheelchair? 

I'm sorry Bill, I don't wish to derail the topic, but I hoppe you can clarify something for me.  When you ask if he's allowed on the grass, I was under the impression he WAS the grass.  I may have missed something.  

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Bubba C said:

Experienced this recently. Some stupid fucking cunt was bleating on about how good a ‘keeper he was and he’d save everything with his Sondico gloves. 

As none of us ever fancy playing in goals, we gave him a chance. 

Fuck me, having conceded 4 goals (2 from back-passes) and given away a penalty in the first 5 minutes alone, he was duly told to fuck off. 

We lost. 

And now he plays for Liverpool 

[Witheredscrote]

41 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

I'm sorry Bill, I don't wish to derail the topic, but I hoppe you can clarify something for me.  When you ask if he's allowed on the grass, I was under the impression he WAS the grass.  I may have missed something.  

Much more of your attitude and I will put up a video of bestiality  in the goose barn. You're not getting me that easily.

[Cuntybaws]

3 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

... a weekly game of 5 a side is a good laugh.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers, if I want to have seven shades of shit kicked out of me by psychopaths I'll go into a bar in Glasgow and order a Babycham.

[ratcum]

7 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Fuck that for a game of soldiers, if I want to have seven shades of shit kicked out of me by psychopaths I'll go into a bar in Glasgow and order a Babycham.

In the 70s you could have gone into a bar in Londonderry and ordered a soldier

[camberwell gypsy]

4 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

I know for most of you old cunts, the most strenuous activity you get up to is shuffling to the corner shop for a pack of Old Holborn tobacco, a few cans of generic polish larger and a top up for your prepaid electricity meter.

For those of us still young enough to have at least 4 mates they actually meet up with more than once a year, and a working pair of legs, a weekly game of 5 a side is a good laugh.

Problem is there’s usually one or two lonely fat old cunts loitering round asking if “anyone needs a spare player”.

Invariably dressed in a some late 80s kappa gear with suspicious stains all over, and stinking of BO just from walking out of the changing rooms, when you say no (as you clearly have 5 players on each side already) they move around with a dog faced look hoping you’ll feel sorry for them and give them a run out.

If you’re ever foolish enough to take them up on the offer, you quickly realise they play like bambi on ice on ketamine, and have the mental temperament of Eric after a few lunchtime litres of snakebite.

Prone to two footed lunges, own goal hat-tricks and general idiocy, they’d be best staying indoors and drinking themselves to death like the rest of you. 

Lol. Fuck off. 

Are you worried this might happen?

[Guest Lady Penelope]

6 hours ago, cuntspotter said:

Away from the guards?

British Rail train guards?

[PANZER MURPHY]

4 hours ago, ratcum said:

In the 70s you could have gone into a bar in Londonderry and ordered a soldier

Word is thats how that Rupert niarac got identified as an army intelligence operative. .he ordered haff a Guinness with a splash of blackcurrant. .instant fail

Panzerknacker 

[and]

On 5/29/2018 at 3:29 PM, William T.D. Stickers said:

I know for most of you old cunts, the most strenuous activity you get up to is shuffling to the corner shop for a pack of Old Holborn tobacco, a few cans of generic polish larger and a top up for your prepaid electricity meter.

For those of us still young enough to have at least 4 mates they actually meet up with more than once a year, and a working pair of legs, a weekly game of 5 a side is a good laugh.

Problem is there’s usually one or two lonely fat old cunts loitering round asking if “anyone needs a spare player”.

Invariably dressed in a some late 80s kappa gear with suspicious stains all over, and stinking of BO just from walking out of the changing rooms, when you say no (as you clearly have 5 players on each side already) they move around with a dog faced look hoping you’ll feel sorry for them and give them a run out.

If you’re ever foolish enough to take them up on the offer, you quickly realise they play like bambi on ice on ketamine, and have the mental temperament of Eric after a few lunchtime litres of snakebite.

Prone to two footed lunges, own goal hat-tricks and general idiocy, they’d be best staying indoors and drinking themselves to death like the rest of you. 

Lol. Fuck off. 

Just hold on a minute there Ronaldo, football's for irons, so that makes you and your fuckin' mates a right bunch of benders, how do you feel about that, you cunt?

Fuck off!

[Guest Bill Stickers]

20 minutes ago, r-soles said:

Just hold on a minute there Ronaldo, football's for irons, so that makes you and your fuckin' mates a right bunch of benders, how do you feel about that, you cunt?

Fuck off!

Recycled bollocks. About as brutally cutting as a flid armed with a butter knife. 

I’m actually rather embarrassed for you. 

[Decimus]

2 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

Recycled bollocks. About as brutally cutting as a flid armed with a butter knife. 

I’m actually rather embarrassed for you. 

I'd wager that R-Soles was the token fat kid at his school, endlessly humiliated by a sadistic PE teacher who made him play netball with the girls. The kind of spastic who was forced to use plastic scissors and had his Turkey Dinosaurs cut up for him at lunchtime by the dinner lady.

[Eric Cuntman]

I wonder if the 'lone ringer' has kept in touch with Tonto.

lol

[Guest luke swarm]

21 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said:

Recycled bollocks. About as brutally cutting as a flid armed with a butter knife. 

I’m actually rather embarrassed for you. 

He means no harm Bill, and can you not use the term "flid" where this poster is concerned as it gets quite personal and hurtful