Cuntybaws Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, Decimus said: I remember being stopped and searched by Norfolk's finest after a city match in the early 2000's. Said pig was snorting info into his radio, and identified me as an " IC2 male". It wasn't until I googled it the next day that I realised that this description identified a suspect as being southern European. They could probably smell the second generation bogtrotter on you. Still, at least they said "male". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 21 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: No. Which I know is a ridiculous mitigative statement, coming from someone who's just admitted pissing their boxers in the name of product testing. But in my defence, a brass knuckle duster is a guaranteed deal, but when you've just paid £60 for an ambiguous black box, you get curious as to whether it does what it's supposed to. In the outside world, you have a rival for (self-harming) Cunt of the Week: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/man-stabs-himself-death-stab-proof-vest-jordan-easton-teeside-inquest-a8402961.html Briefly: Lad buys a supposedly 'stab-proof' vest. To test it, he goes home and in front of his family... stabs himself...fatally! Article says he wanted to test the item's 'abdominal' protection but he appears to have stabbed himself in the chest?! Total cunting, terminal disaster. All you managed was to piss yourself... Take care and for fucks sake steer clear of e-bay 'bullet-proof' vests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 Alpha Tango Teakettle Barbecue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 4 minutes ago, Piston said: In the outside world, you have a rival for (self-harming) Cunt of the Week: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/man-stabs-himself-death-stab-proof-vest-jordan-easton-teeside-inquest-a8402961.html Briefly: Lad buys a supposedly 'stab-proof' vest. To test it, he goes home and in front of his family... stabs himself...fatally! Article says he wanted to test the item's 'abdominal' protection but he appears to have stabbed himself in the chest?! Total cunting, terminal disaster. All you managed was to piss yourself... Take care and for fucks sake steer clear of e-bay 'bullet-proof' vests. As Professor Piehead would say, "Another partial success!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Albert Ross Esquire said: Good thing I don't drive, I would have answered every question with "No comment". Charlie Uniform November Tango. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 17, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 6 minutes ago, Piston said: In the outside world, you have a rival for (self-harming) Cunt of the Week: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/man-stabs-himself-death-stab-proof-vest-jordan-easton-teeside-inquest-a8402961.html Briefly: Lad buys a supposedly 'stab-proof' vest. To test it, he goes home and in front of his family... stabs himself...fatally! Article says he wanted to test the item's 'abdominal' protection but he appears to have stabbed himself in the chest?! Total cunting, terminal disaster. All you managed was to piss yourself... Take care and for fucks sake steer clear of e-bay 'bullet-proof' vests. Out of likes Piston, but I know exactly what you're on about. The stab vest market is a literal minefield and your best bet is to opt for a triple rated American job. Brand name 'Kevlar second chance' seems to be the flavour of the month, but I don't know anyone quite stupid enough to test it to destruction by running into a wall with a bayonet pointed at their heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 17, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 14 minutes ago, Ape said: Alpha Tango Teakettle Barbecue. Out of likes. But I love you, and you can use my fully adjustable shower head whenever you like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 8 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Charlie Uniform November Tango. Go easy on poor Albert, wolfers. Bills been cruely poking him with a stick and the way he's been responding shows signs of an insecure young lad who also happens to be extremely thick. The sooner he fucks off for good, the better it'll be for his health. This is no place for weak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 19 minutes ago, Piston said: In the outside world, you have a rival for (self-harming) Cunt of the Week: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/man-stabs-himself-death-stab-proof-vest-jordan-easton-teeside-inquest-a8402961.html Briefly: Lad buys a supposedly 'stab-proof' vest. To test it, he goes home and in front of his family... stabs himself...fatally! Article says he wanted to test the item's 'abdominal' protection but he appears to have stabbed himself in the chest?! Total cunting, terminal disaster. All you managed was to piss yourself... Take care and for fucks sake steer clear of e-bay 'bullet-proof' vests. At least his genes won't be passed on, unlike mine, if any woman will have me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 2 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Go easy on poor Albert, wolfers. Bills been cruely poking him with a stick and the way he's been responding shows signs of an insecure young lad who also happens to be extremely thick. The sooner he fucks off for good, the better it'll be for his health. This is no place for weak. You're another unhilarious cunt, don't give up your day job. He hasn't been poking me with a stick either, you total imbecile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 About 40 years ago some daft cunt bought a power saw that had some kind of protection feature to prevent people cutting themselves .. he tested it and decapitated himself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 1 minute ago, Penelope said: About 40 years ago some daft cunt bought a power saw that had some kind of protection feature to prevent people cutting themselves .. he tested it and decapitated himself I hope he died quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 9 minutes ago, Albert Ross Esquire said: I hope he died quickly. A complete guess, based on no evidence whatsoever, but I doubt he lingered for several days... without a head. Fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 17, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, DrCunt said: A complete guess, based on no evidence whatsoever, but I doubt he lingered for several days... without a head. Fucking idiot. Quality Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 There was also an incident in the 1980s involving three very drunk Russian policemen who played Russian roulette with a revolver that they omitted to remove enough bullets from. Only one of them survived and he shot his own nose off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 10 minutes ago, DrCunt said: A complete guess, based on no evidence whatsoever, but I doubt he lingered for several days... without a head. Fucking idiot. No as daft as it sounds .. there is some evidence that brain death does nor occur instantly when the head is severed, regardless it is likely to be very painful. https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/10-brain-myths6.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 48 minutes ago, Penelope said: About 40 years ago some daft cunt bought a power saw that had some kind of protection feature to prevent people cutting themselves .. he tested it and decapitated himself Did he get the money back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 17, 2018 Report Share Posted June 17, 2018 16 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Did he get the money back? I think that he had it on approval. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted June 18, 2018 Report Share Posted June 18, 2018 5 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: My next door neighbour, Paul, nice bloke I've always got on with, has just knocked on my door, fuming after an encounter with our local constabulary. He got stopped on a random police check initiative. It wasn't that he got stopped that annoyed him, he had only popped to the Co-op to get some shopping, it was the ridiculous language that incensed him. The cop's initial approach was, "alright chap, where are you coming from and where are you going?". Who the fuck addresses anyone as "chap"? As a 25 year veteran of dealing with actual criminal cunts, if that wanker had approached me with that intro', I would have tazered the prick, kicked him in the head, and left him dribbling like a spastic in some cunts front garden. "Alright chap" wanker. It's a rather sly new tactic. They attempt to endear themselves to you while finding a reason to arrest you, strip away any semblance of legal and human rights, then kick fuck out of you with his mates in a room where the cameras are conveniently being serviced. Your friend is lucky to be in one piece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted June 18, 2018 Report Share Posted June 18, 2018 I remember a chap around my way drilling a hole in his head. Fuck knows why?oh how we laughed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 18, 2018 Report Share Posted June 18, 2018 12 hours ago, cuntspotter said: I remember a chap around my way drilling a hole in his head. Fuck knows why?oh how we laughed. You're nicked sunshine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted June 18, 2018 Report Share Posted June 18, 2018 Section 5 sub paragraph six of The Metropolitan Police Training Manual questioning an Afro-Caribbean who hasn't actually done anything. Choose from the following opening questions: Right you black puff bastard! Where's the ganja then Haile? You steal this somewhere boy? All of the above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 18, 2018 Report Share Posted June 18, 2018 Hello, Hello, Hello! What's going on here then?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 18, 2018 Report Share Posted June 18, 2018 On 6/17/2018 at 9:59 PM, Albert Ross Esquire said: At least his genes won't be passed on, unlike mine, if any woman will have me. You are applescruff and I claim my £5. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted June 19, 2018 Report Share Posted June 19, 2018 They locked a black bloke away for 12 months round my way for having no lights on his bike,they'd have sentenced him for even longer if it had been dark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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