Those With A Postage-Stamp Sized Garden And A Petrol Lawnmower.

[Ape™️]

First decent day of sunshine for ages, so me and Mrs Ape decide to spend some time in the garden, trying to make in look a little less depressing. The wanker next door, who I fucking hate, has a small patch of grass, approximately 5 metres square - the rest of the garden being landscaped and decked. Even with the smallest, shittiest electric mower, the job of cutting this grass would take no more than 5 minutes. But this cunt has a petrol mower - a big petrol mower. Having listened to him frantically pulling on the starter for 15 minutes, we then had to endure a 10 minute warm-up period, as he carefully brought the highly tuned engine up to operating temperature. During this period of rich running, the stench of exhaust fumes was everywhere. Finally, once satisfied “she” was good to go, he opened the throttle to cutting power and proceeded to spend some 20 minutes actually mowing, gradually reducing the cut height with each sweep until finally, after leaving it on idle for a further 5 minutes, he shut the noisy piece of shit down.
 

He’s a total fucking cunt, and I want him dead.

[Roadkill]

4 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

First decent day of sunshine for ages, so me and Mrs Ape decide to spend some time in the garden, trying to make in look a little less depressing. The wanker next door, who I fucking hate, has a small patch of grass, approximately 5 metres square - the rest of the garden being landscaped and decked. Even with the smallest, shittiest electric mower, the job of cutting this grass would take no more than 5 minutes. But this cunt has a petrol mower - a big petrol mower. Having listened to him frantically pulling on the starter for 15 minutes, we then had to endure a 10 minute warm-up period, as he carefully brought the highly tuned engine up to operating temperature. During this period of rich running, the stench of exhaust fumes was everywhere. Finally, once satisfied “she” was good to go, he opened the throttle to cutting power and proceeded to spend some 20 minutes actually mowing, gradually reducing the cut height with each sweep until finally, after leaving it on idle for a further 5 minutes, he shut the noisy piece of shit down.
 

He’s a total fucking cunt, and I want him dead.

Get a nice half-brick, paint it camouflage and throw it over the fence next time you hear the fucker pissing about. When the cunt is being wheeled into the ambulance with a shattered shin bone remember to mention in passing how dangerous the hospitals are at the minute.

[camberwell gypsy]

43 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

First decent day of sunshine for ages, so me and Mrs Ape decide to spend some time in the garden, trying to make in look a little less depressing. The wanker next door, who I fucking hate, has a small patch of grass, approximately 5 metres square - the rest of the garden being landscaped and decked. Even with the smallest, shittiest electric mower, the job of cutting this grass would take no more than 5 minutes. But this cunt has a petrol mower - a big petrol mower. Having listened to him frantically pulling on the starter for 15 minutes, we then had to endure a 10 minute warm-up period, as he carefully brought the highly tuned engine up to operating temperature. During this period of rich running, the stench of exhaust fumes was everywhere. Finally, once satisfied “she” was good to go, he opened the throttle to cutting power and proceeded to spend some 20 minutes actually mowing, gradually reducing the cut height with each sweep until finally, after leaving it on idle for a further 5 minutes, he shut the noisy piece of shit down.
 

He’s a total fucking cunt, and I want him dead.

You can alway paint your turds green and chuck them over the fence. I bet the cunt wears Hunter wellies as well. 

[Cunty BigBollox]

56 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

First decent day of sunshine for ages, so me and Mrs Ape decide to spend some time in the garden, trying to make in look a little less depressing. The wanker next door, who I fucking hate, has a small patch of grass, approximately 5 metres square - the rest of the garden being landscaped and decked. Even with the smallest, shittiest electric mower, the job of cutting this grass would take no more than 5 minutes. But this cunt has a petrol mower - a big petrol mower. Having listened to him frantically pulling on the starter for 15 minutes, we then had to endure a 10 minute warm-up period, as he carefully brought the highly tuned engine up to operating temperature. During this period of rich running, the stench of exhaust fumes was everywhere. Finally, once satisfied “she” was good to go, he opened the throttle to cutting power and proceeded to spend some 20 minutes actually mowing, gradually reducing the cut height with each sweep until finally, after leaving it on idle for a further 5 minutes, he shut the noisy piece of shit down.
 

He’s a total fucking cunt, and I want him dead.

Is it a self propelled lawn mower and is it rotary or cylinder. Is it also a Briggs & Stratton engine, if yes what size is it? I fucking love petrol lawnmowers.

[White Cunt]

1 hour ago, Ape™️ said:

First decent day of sunshine for ages, so me and Mrs Ape decide to spend some time in the garden, trying to make in look a little less depressing. The wanker next door, who I fucking hate, has a small patch of grass, approximately 5 metres square - the rest of the garden being landscaped and decked. Even with the smallest, shittiest electric mower, the job of cutting this grass would take no more than 5 minutes. But this cunt has a petrol mower - a big petrol mower. Having listened to him frantically pulling on the starter for 15 minutes, we then had to endure a 10 minute warm-up period, as he carefully brought the highly tuned engine up to operating temperature. During this period of rich running, the stench of exhaust fumes was everywhere. Finally, once satisfied “she” was good to go, he opened the throttle to cutting power and proceeded to spend some 20 minutes actually mowing, gradually reducing the cut height with each sweep until finally, after leaving it on idle for a further 5 minutes, he shut the noisy piece of shit down.
 

He’s a total fucking cunt, and I want him dead.

I have full sympathy there, Ape. In 1994, we were planning to buy a semi, which my landlord was offloading at the time and we liked a lot. Great next door neighbours,  plenty of trees, good price. What totally put us off the purchase, was this retired petrol mower wanker, doing the deed every fucking Sunday when the sun was shining. His poky garden was behind ours. Even during the winter, he would wheel out the beast and scrape the moss. 
In the end, we bought another house and ended up with a pair of crazed commie shit hoarders.

 

[Ape™️]

25 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Is it a self propelled lawn mower and is it rotary or cylinder. Is it also a Briggs & Stratton engine, if yes what size is it? I fucking love petrol lawnmowers.

This comes as no surprise. 

[King Billy]

46 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Is it a self propelled lawn mower and is it rotary or cylinder. Is it also a Briggs & Stratton engine, if yes what size is it? I fucking love petrol lawnmowers.

Was that you that overtook me on the A1 yesterday on a John Deere towing a bird in a bikini skiing?

[Cunty BigBollox]

47 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Was that you that overtook me on the A1 yesterday on a John Deere towing a bird in a bikini skiing?

The bird with a couple of sheets of toilet roll sticking out of the gusset of her bottoms? No,  that one wasn't me.

[ratcum]

1 hour ago, White Cunt said:

I have full sympathy there, Ape. In 1994, we were planning to buy a semi, which my landlord was offloading at the time and we liked a lot. Great next door neighbours,  plenty of trees, good price. What totally put us off the purchase, was this retired petrol mower wanker, doing the deed every fucking Sunday when the sun was shining. His poky garden was behind ours. Even during the winter, he would wheel out the beast and scrape the moss. 
In the end, we bought another house and ended up with a pair of crazed commie shit hoarders.

 

fuckin Chinese. I hope we send them the bill for all this Covid skulduggery, the dirty bat sucking dogs 

😑

[camberwell gypsy]

4 minutes ago, ratcum said:

fuckin Chinese. I hope we send them the bill for all this Covid skulduggery, the dirty bat sucking dogs 

😑

So you think they'll pay? 

[King Billy]

2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

So you think they'll pay? 

Probably printing the counterfeit US $100 dollar bills already.

[camberwell gypsy]

6 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Probably printing the counterfeit US $100 dollar bills already.

They're not. Their printing dorrar Bill's. 

[King Billy]

9 minutes ago, ratcum said:

fuckin Chinese. I hope we send them the bill for all this Covid skulduggery, the dirty bat sucking dogs 

😑

Fair play to you Ratty. You may be a complete mental case but you had the slant eyes rumbled a long time ago. I for one thought all that ‘fucking chinese’ stuff was just you trying to be inclusive re. your racism. Full marks for having such an unswerving suspicion of nearly every cunt on earth.

[Penny Farthing]

Any thoughts on ride on diesel lawn mowers like the cunt who used to live over the road from me had?

[King Billy]

55 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Any thoughts on ride on diesel lawn mowers like the cunt who used to live over the road from me had?

He can’t be that much of a cunt. He’s moved away after all.

[Penny Farthing]

26 minutes ago, King Billy said:

He can’t be that much of a cunt. He’s moved away after all.

I moved away but he died last year.

[ratcum]

2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

So you think they'll pay? 

I've had a bad feeling about them long before this virus shit kicked off. Joking aside, their attitude to just about all our values are utterly alien. They're literally stealing the Spratly Islands, brazenly ignoring copyright law (have you seen their Rolls Royce knock off?), bankrolling whack job North Korea and ethnically cleansing idigenous peoples within their own borders. I hope we cripple their slave economy by never buying anything from them again.

[ratcum]

2 hours ago, King Billy said:

Fair play to you Ratty. You may be a complete mental case but you had the slant eyes rumbled a long time ago. I for one thought all that ‘fucking chinese’ stuff was just you trying to be inclusive re. your racism. Full marks for having such an unswerving suspicion of nearly every cunt on earth.

without giving too much away Bill, I've had professional experience with these fucks. Their attitude to subordinates and women is disgusting, the 'bosses' are slovenly and arrogant and their personal habits are disturbing. Kick the lot out of Britain and exclude them from any form of business or property ownership here.

Oh and stick their spy phones up their loose stooled arses.

[Guest President Trump]

Did you say petrol my friend?

[Eddie]

I have a petrol lawnmower and a small garden, no apologies 

[Ape™️]

22 minutes ago, Eddie said:

I have a petrol lawnmower and a small garden, no apologies 

I’m not at all surprised Eddie. But I know that by small you mean a few acres.

[Eddie]

3 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

I’m not at all surprised Eddie. But I know that by small you mean a few acres.

Unfortunately not true, since the wife found out about roops I am considerably poorer than you, just about hanging on to a very average house, keep it to yourself it's very embarrassing...

[Guest Cunt-End Of The World]

7 hours ago, Ape™️ said:

First decent day of sunshine for ages, so me and Mrs Ape decide to spend some time in the garden, trying to make in look a little less depressing. The wanker next door, who I fucking hate, has a small patch of grass, approximately 5 metres square - the rest of the garden being landscaped and decked. Even with the smallest, shittiest electric mower, the job of cutting this grass would take no more than 5 minutes. But this cunt has a petrol mower - a big petrol mower. Having listened to him frantically pulling on the starter for 15 minutes, we then had to endure a 10 minute warm-up period, as he carefully brought the highly tuned engine up to operating temperature. During this period of rich running, the stench of exhaust fumes was everywhere. Finally, once satisfied “she” was good to go, he opened the throttle to cutting power and proceeded to spend some 20 minutes actually mowing, gradually reducing the cut height with each sweep until finally, after leaving it on idle for a further 5 minutes, he shut the noisy piece of shit down.
 

He’s a total fucking cunt, and I want him dead.

I'll kill him. Got any bog roll?

[Ape™️]

19 minutes ago, Cunt-End Of The World said:

I'll kill him. Got any bog roll?

Do you accept paracetamol?

[White Cunt]

4 hours ago, ratcum said:

fuckin Chinese. I hope we send them the bill for all this Covid skulduggery, the dirty bat sucking dogs 

😑

We already have, in a way. Most of trade had seized, future orders cancelled. Add to us most of Europe, Yanks, Ozzies and others who won’t be buying much from chinks any time soon and you get the picture - and it’s not a pretty one ( particularly for chinks). I’m sure they will try to compensate by peddling more illegal shit like drugs and heavily subsidised and potentially dangerous goods. The cunts are currently  offering pharmaceutical “help” to various plague-riddled countries to further encroach onto their markets and outcompete local manufacturing. 
Little fuckers are very worried about the avalanche of their humongous debt, exploding number of retirees demanding pensions and shrinking, ageing  markets in the West. Their disease is certainly not helping anyone’s economy.

Bolsonaro’s son had some balls to rightfully point a finger at the chinks as the cause of the plague but the commie brigade demanded apologies, though hopefully they won’t get any. The Peking twats are throwing their weight around, but there is still a lot of counterbalance to the vermin in the West. Fucking Chinese indeed, Ratcum.