People who buy furniture at John Lewis

[Last Cunt Standing]

Word reaches me that the current subject of discourse in the British press is that of where people buy their furniture. I gather the current paramour of St Boris of Astra-Zeneca has decreed that only contemptible filth would furnish their pad with the sort of garbage you might find in John Lewis. Indeed there are untouchables currently gasping for oxygen under scraps of corrugated tin in the Mumbai slums who would no doubt shun a coffee table from their last catalogue. Quite what Carrie Antoinette, as she is now forever dubbed, thinks goes on in that big blue and yellow warehouse on the North Circular is perhaps not worth knowing. Anyway, without a drop of sarcasm, I think it entirely fitting and in no way Cuntish that the ruling class get to argue about how much gold wallpaper one might get away with as a tax right-off this year, while the rest of the plebs fret about whether they can justify a new winter coat.

If ever there was a story which reveals in how much contempt the public are held by those wankers currently in charge, it’s this one. It’s almost Ceausescu level fuck-you-erry and in most parts of the world there would be a baying mob at the gates of number ten by nightfall. Instead, it’ll get the usual round of tutting and eye rolling. Alan Clarke once famously described someone as being “the sort of people who buy their own furniture”. I don’t think he was paying compliments. If you’ve seen the fucking state of the decor in question there’s even more spleen to be vented. Reminiscent of the Indus Restaurant, Doncaster, about 1990.

Cunts for doing it, cunts for tolerating it, and cunts for nothing ever changing. 

Fuck off etc. 

[Cunty BigBollox]

If ever there was a reason to resurrect MFI and for what the acronym stood for this surely must be it.

[Cuntybaws]

Upon brief reflection, I've arrived at the conclusion that Carrie Symonds is a cunt.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

I've recently bought a mahogany Georgian Sideboard...

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

It's yet another demonstration of the 'We'll do as we like and you can moan about it, we don't care' attitude of Bullingdon Boris and the Bellenders.

I actually quite like Boris as he's never really tried to hide his cuntishness, and he's obviously realised the thick majority will forget about it once they log in to Cuntbook and or 'Insta'...I would rather the piss be taken blatantly than hidden in the background. It's like the medieval times in terms of the contempt the establishment have for the plebs, the average man has always been shat on in Britain and kept in his place via wages and future prospects.  It'll continue as the class system has never been more obvious. The only way things will change will be through getting rid of the Royals and and all the twats like @Earl of PunkapePunkape who aspire to be like them. I have to say though a lot of the poor will never better themselves as they are already been defeated mentally.

 

[camberwell gypsy]

I've got a whole bedroom set from IKEA. Say what you will about it but the stuff is very sturdy and doesn't fall apart when you put a pair of flip flops in the drawer. 

[Frank]

26 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I've got a whole bedroom set from IKEA. Say what you will about it but the stuff is very sturdy and doesn't fall apart when you put a pair of flip flops in the drawer. 

If I recall correctly, MikeD had an affliction with all things Ikea. Crushed to death by the 'Malm' chest of 4 drawers. Stupid little short-arse dead cunt.

[camberwell gypsy]

4 minutes ago, Frank said:

If I recall correctly, MikeD had an affliction with all things Ikea. Crushed to death by the 'Malm' chest of 4 drawers. Stupid little short-arse dead cunt.

He always wanted to be fucked by a good looking Swede. But I think he meant Agnetha from ABBA 

[Wolfie]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I've got a whole bedroom set from IKEA. Say what you will about it but the stuff is very sturdy and doesn't fall apart when you put a pair of flip flops in the drawer. 

I bet you've even got a designated knicker drawer – unlike @Mrs Roops, lol.

[Earl of Punkape]

5 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

I've recently bought a mahogany Georgian Sideboard...

I inherited all my furniture.

[Earl of Punkape]

47 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I bet you've even got a designated knicker drawer – unlike @Mrs Roops, lol.

I’ll bet Mrs Roops has a bloomers draw..

lol.

[Earl of Punkape]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I've got a whole bedroom set from IKEA. Say what you will about it but the stuff is very sturdy and doesn't fall apart when you put a pair of flip flops in the drawer. 

Peasant.

[and]

6 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Upon brief reflection, I've arrived at the conclusion that Carrie Symonds is a cunt.

You needed reflection to ascertain that?

[camberwell gypsy]

17 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Peasant.

I doubt I'd you'd fit any furniture in the old railway carriage you're squatting in, would you? 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

29 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

I inherited all my furniture.

Do you have any Masonic items? I'll consider purchasing them to help you out in these difficult times.

[Frank]

38 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Do you have any Masonic items? I'll consider purchasing them to help you out in these difficult times.

As we're practically neighbours, Rasters, do you fancy an eyeball?

[ChildeHarold]

10 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Word reaches me that the current subject of discourse in the British press is that of where people buy their furniture. I gather the current paramour of St Boris of Astra-Zeneca has decreed that only contemptible filth would furnish their pad with the sort of garbage you might find in John Lewis. Indeed there are untouchables currently gasping for oxygen under scraps of corrugated tin in the Mumbai slums who would no doubt shun a coffee table from their last catalogue. Quite what Carrie Antoinette, as she is now forever dubbed, thinks goes on in that big blue and yellow warehouse on the North Circular is perhaps not worth knowing. Anyway, without a drop of sarcasm, I think it entirely fitting and in no way Cuntish that the ruling class get to argue about how much gold wallpaper one might get away with as a tax right-off this year, while the rest of the plebs fret about whether they can justify a new winter coat.

If ever there was a story which reveals in how much contempt the public are held by those wankers currently in charge, it’s this one. It’s almost Ceausescu level fuck-you-erry and in most parts of the world there would be a baying mob at the gates of number ten by nightfall. Instead, it’ll get the usual round of tutting and eye rolling. Alan Clarke once famously described someone as being “the sort of people who buy their own furniture”. I don’t think he was paying compliments. If you’ve seen the fucking state of the decor in question there’s even more spleen to be vented. Reminiscent of the Indus Restaurant, Doncaster, about 1990.

Cunts for doing it, cunts for tolerating it, and cunts for nothing ever changing. 

Fuck off etc. 

Alan Clark was jumped up nouveau riche (his old man Lord Clark bought a castle which was a hell hole of damp and rot) with most of the family fortune from selling off their cotton mills in Glasgow wasted and divided up. By the time little dirty Alan came along the family was dependent on his father's Kenneth's earnings and wheeler dealing in the art world which it has to be said he was a successful and cynical player using his enormous reputation in art circles to force up prices.... then selling paintings he'd been given free for a nod of approval. 

The Clarks were slippery shits and still are. But not the sort of Downton Abbey cut outs who could back up empty phrases like that. 

[Guest Cocky Council Cake]

7 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Upon brief reflection, I've arrived at the conclusion that Carrie Symonds is a cunt.

The Honey Monster must be seriously desperate for a fuck to let that little miss piggy impersonator bleed the treasury dry. I'd rather rub my bell-end on a briar-patch than blow my beans into that posh fucking dustbin.

[ChildeHarold]

1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said:

I inherited all my furniture.

The set of Regency style hand carved and French polished butt plugs has been appraised by TV's Mr Antique David Dickinson as both "collectable" and "desirable" but not worth much due to condition. 

Give them a good rinse in soapy water and repolish with King Billy's tongue. (OK Billy you can go before the rinse) 

[ChildeHarold]

1 minute ago, Cockyroach said:

The Honey Monster must be seriously desperate for a fuck to let that little miss piggy impersonator bleed the treasury dry. I'd rather rub my bell-end on a briar-patch than blow my beans into that posh fucking dustbin.

So Love Honey is Non! While Ann Summers is Oui? 

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

I inherited all my furniture.

Lifting broken furniture from skips isn't strictly inheriting 

[Cuntybaws]

2 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

I’ll bet Mrs Roops has a bloomers draw.

You know, I'd have bet good money that you were one of those unutterably stupid cunts who says "draws" instead of "drawers".

Alright, Chester?

[Guest Cocky Council Cake]

5 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

So Love Honey is Non! While Ann Summers is Oui? 

Never mind all that Harry - the best sex-toy, bar-none is a simple bio-degradable plastic bag. No assembly needed, just stick it over your head and tie the handles around your neck.

I guarantee it will induce a mind-blowing orgasm - mine, as I watch you rolling around on the floor gasping for breath, a beautiful purple hue on your stupid fucking face.

You're welcome.

[Earl of Punkape]

1 hour ago, Cockyroach said:

Never mind all that Harry - the best sex-toy, bar-none is a simple bio-degradable plastic bag. No assembly needed, just stick it over your head and tie the handles around your neck.

I guarantee it will induce a mind-blowing orgasm - mine, as I watch you rolling around on the floor gasping for breath, a beautiful purple hue on your stupid fucking face.

You're welcome.

Pervert and oik.

[Wolfie]

3 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

I’ll bet Mrs Roops has a bloomers draw..

lol.

 

3 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Peasant.

Oh, the irony.