Dyslexic cnut Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: Shithouse shin pad: a rolled up copy of Razzle, stuffed down the front of a sock during a visit to the lavatory for a sneaky 'hand shandy'. Boxing glove on a spring, like a sim. Descriptive of a noisomely miasmatic stoat. A stinky fanny. 'I pulled down her pants and the stink hit me in the face like a boxing glove on a spring. And now over to Robert Peston for the latest developments from Wall Street.' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 2 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said: Boxing glove on a spring, like a sim. Descriptive of a noisomely miasmatic stoat. A stinky fanny. 'I pulled down her pants and the stink hit me in the face like a boxing glove on a spring. And now over to Robert Peston for the latest developments from Wall Street.' Bag ladies’ period sim. Unpalatable. ‘Don’t buy Mrs Timpkin’s home made jam, vicar. I’ve tasted nicer bag ladies’ period.’ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Shithouse shin pad: a rolled up copy of Razzle, stuffed down the front of a sock during a visit to the lavatory for a sneaky 'hand shandy'. I fucking loved Razzle and Escort. They featured birds you were likely to see on an estate somewhere. When i was away you used to be able to put pages from the above glued with toothpaste before the pc brigade banned it. Some geezer who happened to be residing in the same establishment took some serious banter when somebody spotted his ex bird... And before you get a semi Jew-boy i never saw any bum banditry. Fucking funny, Eric! Edited May 17, 2022 by Major Cunt Forgot to mention the early stages of woke culture (If only i knew how it would turn out twenty years later) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 3 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: I fucking loved Razzle and Escort. They featured birds you were likely to see on an estate somewhere. When i was away you used to be able to put pages from the above glued with toothpaste. Some geezer who happened to be residing in the same establishment took some serious banter when somebody spotted his ex bird... Fucking funny, Eric! I’m surprised you was allowed those sort of magazines on your wing… beast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 1 minute ago, Eddie said: I’m surprised you was allowed those sort of magazines on your wing… beast. Fuck off, you spearchucker, and get me a few spark plugs whilst you're at it! Cunt! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 17, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 8 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: I fucking loved Razzle and Escort. They featured birds you were likely to see on an estate somewhere. When i was away you used to be able to put pages from the above glued with toothpaste before the pc brigade banned it. Some geezer who happened to be residing in the same establishment took some serious banter when somebody spotted his ex bird... And before you get a semi Jew-boy i never saw any bum banditry. Fucking funny, Eric! Parade was another good one. It had English slags that looked like the birds who lived in your street. And it had a Union Jack on the front cover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 3 minutes ago, Eddie said: I’m surprised you was allowed those sort of magazines on your wing… beast. You folded like napkin when Fender stuck it on you. 🤣🤣🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 Just now, Major Cunt said: You folded like napkin when Fender stuck it on you. 🤣🤣🤣 Twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 5 minutes ago, Eddie said: Twice. I was just thinking that, Ed. Obviously i won't be reporting you as it ain't my style, but for your sake i'd alter that post before the missis locks you up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Parade was another good one. It had English slags that looked like the birds who lived in your street. And it had a Union Jack on the front cover. Readers Wives too. This new generation have no idea about the lengths we had to go to for porn pre internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 42 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: Readers Wives too. This new generation have no idea about the lengths we had to go to for porn pre internet. What lengths - do spill. Did it involved crime? My besty, Big Kazza was in the swimming pool changing rooms (pre net), there was a hole in the wooden fencing from which the cubicle was constructed & she saw a brown eyeball look at her peachy bum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 27 minutes ago, ProfB said: What lengths - do spill. Did it involved crime? My besty, Big Kazza was in the swimming pool changing rooms (pre net), there was a hole in the wooden fencing from which the cubicle was constructed & she saw a brown eyeball look at her peachy bum. Not my kinda gig, Prof. It had to involve the lure of a big payday once upon a time and being young and reckless. At the time i personally didn't see it as a big deal but a judge thought differently. How peachy is Kazza's arse and is she a size 12 or slimmer? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 17, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 57 minutes ago, ProfB said: What lengths - do spill. Did it involved crime? My besty, Big Kazza was in the swimming pool changing rooms (pre net), there was a hole in the wooden fencing from which the cubicle was constructed & she saw a brown eyeball look at her peachy bum. Those type of peepers are perverts ProfB. Normal boys learn about girls from wankmags and then move on to real ones. Did the pervy man put his tallywhacker through the hole and wiggle it around? I would have. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 32 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: Not my kinda gig, Prof. It had to involve the lure of a big payday once upon a time and being young and reckless. At the time i personally didn't see it as a big deal but a judge thought differently. How peachy is Kazza's arse and is she a size 12 or slimmer? Kazza is bigger than a 12, already posted we went booting for funds toward her gastric band. But Kazza has a feminine shape, she's not one of those with a 'hangover' (belly that hangs over everything) - she wants to be a small 16. Her bum is peachy though, someone pinched it, in Homebase last weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 9 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Those type of peepers are perverts ProfB. Normal boys learn about girls from wankmags and then move on to real ones. Did the pervy man put his tallywhacker through the hole and wiggle it around? I would have. Tiny hole in the wood, where a small knot had dropped out - OK for the likes of Peter Andre, but Kazza saw I brown eyeball only. The eyeball saw her peachy bum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 17, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 1 hour ago, Major Cunt said: Not my kinda gig, Prof. It had to involve the lure of a big payday once upon a time and being young and reckless. At the time i personally didn't see it as a big deal but a judge thought differently. How peachy is Kazza's arse and is she a size 12 or slimmer? I like them voluptuous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 2 hours ago, ProfB said: What lengths - do spill. Did it involved crime? My besty, Big Kazza was in the swimming pool changing rooms (pre net), there was a hole in the wooden fencing from which the cubicle was constructed & she saw a brown eyeball look at her peachy bum. Pool... Voyeurism... Errrmmm... No, let's not go there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 12 minutes ago, Goober said: Pool... Voyeurism... Errrmmm... No, let's not go there. ...Again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 2 hours ago, ProfB said: Her bum is peachy though, someone pinched it, in Homebase last weekend. Britains worst shoplifter. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted May 17, 2022 Report Share Posted May 17, 2022 33 minutes ago, King Billy said: Britains worst shoplifter. Michael J Fox. Caught red handed in a tambourine shop. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trucking Funt Posted May 26, 2022 Report Share Posted May 26, 2022 On 16/05/2022 at 18:37, Dyslexic cnut said: Try the imaginary all inclusive at the Hilton. @Trucking Funt can’t speak highly enough of it. You utter tramp. I know being a scouser makes you fucking thick so I won't bother trying to explain it to you again. You cunts should all be exterminated to raise the national average IQ level. In fact, you filthy criminal scum should all be exterminated for booing the national anthem. Fuck off! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 26, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2022 3 minutes ago, Trucking Funt said: I know being a scouser makes you fucking thick so I won't bother trying to explain it to you again. You cunts should all be exterminated to raise the national average IQ level. In fact, you filthy criminal scum should all be exterminated for booing the national anthem. Fuck off! Nice to see you Trukky. However I feel I should speak to you regarding attendance. You have been conspicuously absent from school for several months now and speculation is rife as to whether it's just a case of truanting, or something more serious. Are you having problems at home (sleeper cab)? We're here to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trucking Funt Posted May 26, 2022 Report Share Posted May 26, 2022 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: Nice to see you Trukky. However I feel I should speak to you regarding attendance. You have been conspicuously absent from school for several months now and speculation is rife as to whether it's just a case of truanting, or something more serious. Are you having problems at home (sleeper cab)? We're here to help. I do apologise for my extended absence Eric but I just couldn't take any more of the utterly mundane bollocks posted on here by certain punters. I decided to liven things up and joined the Adolf Hitler battalion in Ukraine. I flayed a couple of Russkie tank drivers alive with a swiss army knife and I feel better now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 26, 2022 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2022 32 minutes ago, Trucking Funt said: I do apologise for my extended absence Eric but I just couldn't take any more of the utterly mundane bollocks posted on here by certain punters. I decided to liven things up and joined the Adolf Hitler battalion in Ukraine. I flayed a couple of Russkie tank drivers alive with a swiss army knife and I feel better now. Did you know that DC is getting a pet Ukrainian? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted May 26, 2022 Report Share Posted May 26, 2022 1 hour ago, Trucking Funt said: I do apologise for my extended absence Eric but I just couldn't take any more of the utterly mundane bollocks posted on here by certain punters. I decided to liven things up and joined the Adolf Hitler battalion in Ukraine. I flayed a couple of Russkie tank drivers alive with a swiss army knife and I feel better now. Dodgy vodka and fags will win you both warring sides. Warm blankets and toothpaste have no takers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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