Eric Cuntman Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 4 minutes ago, Parabolic Cunting said: Yes, but what is he saying? Why is he caterwauling in a eco-toilet warehouse with a blindfolded women? I managed 35 seconds. What a steaming fucking pile of baboon shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 14 minutes ago, Parabolic Cunting said: Yes, but what is he saying? Why is he caterwauling in a eco-toilet warehouse with a blindfolded women? Patios to English translation courtesy of Google... 'Why good evening old chap, how is one doing this fine summers afternoon. You'll never guess what old boy, one's lost his keys to his Bavarian Motor Works car... Jemima implied that she would suck me off and shit in the boot if I take her to lunch today, but will only get in the BMW... Who's got the bloody keys then, or where did I leave them'. Not word for word but similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Parabolic Cunting Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 25 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: Patios to English translation courtesy of Google... 'Why good evening old chap, how is one doing this fine summers afternoon. You'll never guess what old boy, one's lost his keys to his Bavarian Motor Works car... Jemima implied that she would suck me off and shit in the boot if I take her to lunch today, but will only get in the BMW... Who's got the bloody keys then, or where did I leave them'. Not word for word but similar. Whilst simultaneously having some identity crisis? . . . the only words I could make out were 'who am I?' This is why weed should be smoked unlaced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said: Patios to English translation courtesy of Google... 'Why good evening old chap, how is one doing this fine summers afternoon. You'll never guess what old boy, one's lost his keys to his Bavarian Motor Works car... Jemima implied that she would suck me off and shit in the boot if I take her to lunch today, but will only get in the BMW... Who's got the bloody keys then, or where did I leave them'. Not word for word but similar. Thanks for the weekend piss-up Raaso. Truly memorable bro. I had no idea that Eric was half-caste, Decs was rather shy and introverted and Eddie was ginger and had freckles. Just goes to show you eh? Did you get round to fucking Roops? Sloppy seconds after Billy though? You dirty voodoo cunt you. Fair play. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 16 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said: Thanks for the weekend piss-up Raaso. Truly memorable bro. I had no idea that Eric was half-caste, Decs was rather shy and introverted and Eddie was ginger and had freckles. Just goes to show you eh? Did you get round to fucking Roops? Sloppy seconds after Billy though? You dirty voodoo cunt you. Fair play. Total cretin. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 2 minutes ago, Frank said: Total cretin. I only gave it a like to try and hide my upset at being revealed as a mud-person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 7 minutes ago, Frank said: Total cretin. I'm going to knock you the fuck out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 1 hour ago, Dyslexic cnut said: Thanks for the weekend piss-up Raaso. Truly memorable bro. I had no idea that Eric was half-caste, Decs was rather shy and introverted and Eddie was ginger and had freckles. Just goes to show you eh? Did you get round to fucking Roops? Sloppy seconds after Billy though? You dirty voodoo cunt you. Fair play. It was great DC, gave Roops a miss after finding something better... @King Billy me with some Ukrainian bird called Olga. I don't mind an older bird from time to time but not when there's a thirty something around. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 19 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Surely with the energy crisis and a flood of fit Ukrainian mums fleeing the war, you must be knee-deep in applications for the bordello, Bill? Any recruitment or HR dilemmas you want to share with us? Are you putting your door prices up yourself? After all, you must get through some towels in the place. And what of the customers? Repressed Asian Taxi Drivers and lonely Grandads cutting back on their totty budget yet or what? I’m only interested as the brothel business, a bit like black cabs, is typically ahead of the curve when it comes to looming recession. It’s working out pretty well at the moment. I’ve reintroduced the ‘No knickers zone (to support Ukraine)’ and the girls have all agreed to work for the next 12 months unpaid. I told them it’s the law now that I have to give all their earnings to the war effort and it’s hurting me as much as them. I’ll probably extend that for a couple of years once they’ve got used to it. And also if they want me to put the heating on to thaw out their frozen crumpets this winter they will have to contribute towards the utility bills in advance. They understand that it’s all Putins fault and we’re all in it together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 1 hour ago, Frank said: Total cretin. Shut up you Albanian poofter. I'm warning you Frank, I think I know who you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: It’s spelled: ‘wagwan’ You are Darcus Howe and I claim my free packet of Rizla. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 Just now, King Billy said: You are Darcus Howe and I claim my free packet of Rizla. I had to watch 2 series of ‘Top Boy’ just to understand what the cunts I buy from are actually talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I thought’Frizzells’ was a motor insurer that only civil service cunts could use. Country singers Eric, David & Lefty Frizzell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 1 hour ago, Frank said: Total cretin. Up your game Frank, and even though it’s highly unlikely, you could one day be the dog rather than the piss stained lamp post you’ve settled for in life. Or you could just top yourself tonight, you delusional fucking bandy legged wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 4 minutes ago, King Billy said: Up your game Frank, and even though it’s highly unlikely, you could one day be the dog rather than the piss stained lamp post you’ve settled for in life. Or you could just top yourself tonight, you delusional fucking bandy legged wanker. I want him to live so he can look after his little doggie. This is the bit where he fucks with my head by telling me he’s stamped on it or poisoned it… and it’s my fucking fault because I’ve let him. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I want him to live So does God it seems, as he’s had every terminal illness known to man several times, and the cunt is still hanging around like an anorexic Ruth Ellis, long after Albert Pierre-point had collected his fee and headed off to dispatch his next lucky client. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 1 minute ago, King Billy said: So does God it seems, as he’s had every terminal illness known to man several times, and the cunt is still hanging around like an anorexic Ruth Ellis, long after Albert Pierre-point had collected his fee and headed off to dispatch his next lucky client. YIKES This makes Lizzy Cundy's lasered fanny look like magic roundabout. I want to know why she needed to tighten it - what did she do that caused it to become so loose? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 11 minutes ago, ProfB said: YIKES This makes Lizzy Cundy's lasered fanny look like magic roundabout. I want to know why she needed to tighten it - what did she do that caused it to become so loose? I haven’t got a fucking clue who Lizzy Candy is nor do I want to, but the boot lid on my imaginary M4 recently started squeaking for no apparent reason. A couple of good squirts of WD40 on the hinges soon sorted it out though. I don’t suppose this Cundy character has tried doing the same on her squeaky cunt flaps though or she wouldn’t be going on about it all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 1 minute ago, King Billy said: I haven’t got a fucking clue who Lizzy Candy is nor do I want to, but the boot lid on my imaginary M4 recently started squeaking for no apparent reason. A couple of good squirts of WD40 on the hinges soon sorted it out though. I don’t suppose this Cundy character has tried doing the same on her squeaky cunt flaps though or she wouldn’t be going on about it all the time. Based on what I know, she will have tried WD40 on her fanny flaps- It normally works a treat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 Just now, ProfB said: Based on what I know, she will have tried WD40 on her fanny flaps- It normally works a treat? Tell her to be very careful what remedies she tries on her stretched front arse, as it sounds to me like ‘3 in one’ probably caused the problem in the first place. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 24 minutes ago, ProfB said: YIKES This makes Lizzy Cundy's lasered fanny look like magic roundabout. I want to know why she needed to tighten it - what did she do that caused it to become so loose? I expect she’s been using huge dildos. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 1 minute ago, King Billy said: Tell her to be very careful what remedies she tries on her stretched front arse, as it sounds to me like ‘3 in one’ probably caused the problem in the first place. Yes, it does sound like she was taking on more than she could chew. I hope forum readers will think twice about 3 in one - because things get badly stretched out of shape, & unless you earn huge amounts like her, the NHS - won't ping you back into shape. My Bestie, big Kazza got a Vaginal Exerciser off ebay, it's not cutting the mustard- she has about 4 days left before returning it for a refund - she will have to pay the return postage. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted August 31, 2022 Report Share Posted August 31, 2022 3 hours ago, Frank said: Total cretin. Carl Sway levels of talent. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted September 1, 2022 Report Share Posted September 1, 2022 5 hours ago, King Billy said: It’s working out pretty well at the moment. I’ve reintroduced the ‘No knickers zone (to support Ukraine)’ and the girls have all agreed to work for the next 12 months unpaid. I told them it’s the law now that I have to give all their earnings to the war effort and it’s hurting me as much as them. I’ll probably extend that for a couple of years once they’ve got used to it. And also if they want me to put the heating on to thaw out their frozen crumpets this winter they will have to contribute towards the utility bills in advance. They understand that it’s all Putins fault and we’re all in it together. I look forward to hearing your address to the Confederation of British Industry, Bill. Overheads, recruitment, incentive policy. I’d say you’ve covered all bases. More power to your elbows etcetera. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted September 1, 2022 Report Share Posted September 1, 2022 5 hours ago, ProfB said: Yes, it does sound like she was taking on more than she could chew. I hope forum readers will think twice about 3 in one - because things get badly stretched out of shape, & unless you earn huge amounts like her, the NHS - won't ping you back into shape. My Bestie, big Kazza got a Vaginal Exerciser off ebay, it's not cutting the mustard- she has about 4 days left before returning it for a refund - she will have to pay the return postage. Laffin UNREPENTANTFENIANBAZTURDPANZERMURPHYBABY 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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