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Thawing in general


Uncle Meatus

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14 hours ago, Decimus said:

Withers, I'm going to smash your puckered, old arsehole into smithereens. Have you ever seen an overripe watermelon get battered with a claw hammer? That's what you're going to be dealing with.

I suggest that you collect all the grease from your female relatives armpits to lube yourself up, because you're going to fucking need it.

I can't be bothered.  You're going to be taking so much beak and alcohol over the next 3 weeks, that you won't be able to find your own arsehole, let alone mine.

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17 hours ago, scotty said:

"Bulimics of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your dinner."

 

John Prescott, 2005

The Secret Diary Of David Beckham:

“I gets up at 5 o’clock and has three shredded wheat, then I go for a five mile run, then I go home and have bacon & eggs and sausages and beans. 
 Vicky does get up at 12 o’clock and has 3 sugar puffs.. but she does cough them up again.”

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18 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The Secret Diary Of David Beckham:

“I gets up at 5 o’clock and has three shredded wheat, then I go for a five mile run, then I go home and have bacon & eggs and sausages and beans. 
 Vicky does get up at 12 o’clock and has 3 sugar puffs.. but she does cough them up again.”

Eric, for a few brief surreal moments there, I read that as David Blunkett and wondered what the fuck you were on about. 😄😄

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6 hours ago, scotty said:

Eric, for a few brief surreal moments there, I read that as David Blunkett and wondered what the fuck you were on about. 😄😄

I’ve got 2 dogs and I reluctantly pick up their shit in a bag and bin it if anyone’s around, but I can’t help thinking that Blunkett and all those Mr. McGoo cunts must have really smelly fucking fingers.

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17 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I’ve got 2 dogs and I reluctantly pick up their shit in a bag and bin it if anyone’s around, but I can’t help thinking that Blunkett and all those Mr. McGoo cunts must have really smelly fucking fingers.

‘man who go to bed with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger’

Confucius - a century that isn’t this one.

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On 11/12/2022 at 19:32, Decimus said:

Ötzi The Iceman has long been heralded as the anthropological find of a lifetime. One can only begin to imagine the excitement in the scientific world when Frank is finally discovered dead and hanging in his Barbican flat, only for the Old Bill to subsequently discover a perfectly frozen example of Peking Man in his chest freezer.

Any post adding to the myth that frank keeps his dead chinky wife in the deep freeze for an ‘occasional’ fuck is worth a like in my book 

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23 hours ago, King Billy said:

I’ve got 2 dogs and I reluctantly pick up their shit in a bag and bin it if anyone’s around, but I can’t help thinking that Blunkett and all those Mr. McGoo cunts must have really smelly fucking fingers.

Careful Billy, you'll have @cunt desperately searching for your location, 'Rambo' shit-collecting covert action kit at the ready.

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On 12/12/2022 at 07:38, Witheredscrote said:

I can't be bothered.  You're going to be taking so much beak and alcohol over the next 3 weeks, that you won't be able to find your own arsehole, let alone mine.

Good old Scrotals; like Mengele twins, only without the careful stitches

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