colonelkurtz Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 The stupid bastarding cunt at Tesco filling station tonight was obviously unaware that the hoses are more than capable of reaching around the car regardless of which side your filler is on. The gormless cunt obviously thinks there's no option other than lining up the filler like that cute littls dashboard picture tells you to do. The real cuntness is the waiting queue she causes while doing what resembles three or four 10 point turns with endless circuits of the forecourt combined with forward - reverse - left - right ... ooh which one is it ? Then it's ooh .. is it the green hose or the black one ? She's only driving a fecking Nissan Juke ffs . Even the cashier at the kiosk window has a look on his face that says " Tell you what love, just fuck off to Sainsburys why don't you" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 1 minute ago, colonelkurtz said: The stupid bastarding cunt at Tesco filling station tonight was obviously unaware that the hoses are more than capable of reaching over the car regardless of which side your filler is on. The gormless cunt obviously thinks there's no option other than lining up the filler like that cute littls dashboard picture tells you to do. The real cuntness is the waiting queue she causes while doing what resembles three or four 10 point turns with endless circuits of the forecourt combined with forward - reverse - left - right ... ooh which one is it ? Then it's ooh .. is it the green hose or the black one ? She's only driving a fecking Nissan Juke ffs . Even the cashier at the kiosk window has a look on his face that says " Tell you what love, just fuck off to Sainsburys why don't you" Don’t forget the bit when she finishes filling up the car, and then gets back into it for 5 minutes to try and find her purse. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entitled little cunt Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 3 minutes ago, colonelkurtz said: The stupid bastarding cunt at Tesco filling station tonight was obviously unaware that the hoses are more than capable of reaching over the car regardless of which side your filler is on. The gormless cunt obviously thinks there's no option other than lining up the filler like that cute littls dashboard picture tells you to do. The real cuntness is the waiting queue she causes while doing what resembles three or four 10 point turns with endless circuits of the forecourt combined with forward - reverse - left - right ... ooh which one is it ? Then it's ooh .. is it the green hose or the black one ? She's only driving a fecking Nissan Juke ffs . Even the cashier at the kiosk window has a look on his face that says " Tell you what love, just fuck off to Sainsburys why don't you" The most annoying thing is when they get back in the car but take 15 minutes to get the thing out of the fucking way .Check Hair , check make up , check teeth , adjust mirror , adjust flange lips , check for handbag , look in handbag for no reason, reach for ignition key , hold on , check for purse , open handbag , find purse , check make up again , put seatbelt on , adjust seat .Notice the bloke behind is asking to be able to get to pump , give one finger to him , open window call him a cunt , start car , apply brakes, pull away at 0000.2 mph.JOB DONE . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 33 minutes ago, colonelkurtz said: The stupid bastarding cunt at Tesco filling station tonight was obviously unaware that the hoses are more than capable of reaching over the car regardless of which side your filler is on. The gormless cunt obviously thinks there's no option other than lining up the filler like that cute littls dashboard picture tells you to do. The real cuntness is the waiting queue she causes while doing what resembles three or four 10 point turns with endless circuits of the forecourt combined with forward - reverse - left - right ... ooh which one is it ? Then it's ooh .. is it the green hose or the black one ? She's only driving a fecking Nissan Juke ffs . Even the cashier at the kiosk window has a look on his face that says " Tell you what love, just fuck off to Sainsburys why don't you" Know your petrol station. Know the best time to go. Don't run down to an empty tank. Simple rules. Another fucking thing. Learn how to reverse a car BEFORE you go down a single track road with passing points. Another fucking thing put the three point turn and reversing BACK onto the driving test. Another fucking thing, put the EMERGENCY STOP back onto the driving test, to wake the dozy cunts up. Another TWO fucking things DON'T FUCKING CHASE CLUBCARD POINTS OR REDEEMING SUPERMARKET VOUCHERS just to save 10 pence on your petrol. Oink oink oink! FUCK OFF WOMEN DRIVERS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 31 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Don’t forget the bit when she finishes filling up the car, and then gets back into it for 5 minutes to try and find her purse. That's for the Morrisons vouchers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 26 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said: The most annoying thing is when they get back in the car but take 15 minutes to get the thing out of the fucking way .Check Hair , check make up , check teeth , adjust mirror , adjust flange lips , check for handbag , look in handbag for no reason, reach for ignition key , hold on , check for purse , open handbag , find purse , check make up again , put seatbelt on , adjust seat .Notice the bloke behind is asking to be able to get to pump , give one finger to him , open window call him a cunt , start car , apply brakes, pull away at 0000.2 mph.JOB DONE . Yeah, but it's ALWAYS your fault. You are being Agressive! 😅 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 37 minutes ago, colonelkurtz said: The stupid bastarding cunt at Tesco filling station tonight was obviously unaware that the hoses are more than capable of reaching over the car regardless of which side your filler is on. The gormless cunt obviously thinks there's no option other than lining up the filler like that cute littls dashboard picture tells you to do. The real cuntness is the waiting queue she causes while doing what resembles three or four 10 point turns with endless circuits of the forecourt combined with forward - reverse - left - right ... ooh which one is it ? Then it's ooh .. is it the green hose or the black one ? She's only driving a fecking Nissan Juke ffs . Even the cashier at the kiosk window has a look on his face that says " Tell you what love, just fuck off to Sainsburys why don't you" A vintage, no-frills, supermarket based rant. Old school and fucking superb, I can feel your rage from here. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 26 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said: The most annoying thing is when they get back in the car but take 15 minutes to get the thing out of the fucking way .Check Hair , check make up , check teeth , adjust mirror , adjust flange lips , check for handbag , look in handbag for no reason, reach for ignition key , hold on , check for purse , open handbag , find purse , check make up again , put seatbelt on , adjust seat .Notice the bloke behind is asking to be able to get to pump , give one finger to him , open window call him a cunt , start car , apply brakes, pull away at 0000.2 mph.JOB DONE . That usually happens at a red light. Lights turn green: realise after 3 seconds light has turn green, push clutch, put into first get biting point, release hand brake, Stall. Start again......lights back to red. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entitled little cunt Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 31 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: That usually happens at a red light. Lights turn green: realise after 3 seconds light has turn green, push clutch, put into first get biting point, release hand brake, Stall. Start again......lights back to red. Then they drive up your arse in some panzer type 4x4 like demented female demons , slightly damp road , who gives a fuck , foot down, little princess on board sticker in the back window , all this whilst they're posting on mumsnet about chaifing nipples and carpet burns because they shagged Simon from office last night .Then double parking to drop little Chylmidia off at school blocking the whole fucking road. Fucking cunts 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 1 hour ago, entitled little cunt said: Then they drive up your arse in some panzer type 4x4 like demented female demons , slightly damp road , who gives a fuck , foot down, little princess on board sticker in the back window , all this whilst they're posting on mumsnet about chaifing nipples and carpet burns because they shagged Simon from office last night .Then double parking to drop little Chylmidia off at school blocking the whole fucking road. Fucking cunts It's a fucking Stallone movie round my way during the Mums Run. Really try to avoid driving at that time of day. Why can't the fucking fatty bum bums make their own fucking way to school. This parental "free choice" brought in by Thatcher should be fucking reversed and these dickhead you can only have fucking two choices of local schools. No fucking transport provided. Use your fucking legs you little cunts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 1 hour ago, Decimus said: A vintage, no-frills, supermarket based rant. Old school and fucking superb, I can feel your rage from here. Back to basics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 2 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: Know your petrol station. Know the best time to go. Don't run down to an empty tank. Simple rules. Another fucking thing. Learn how to reverse a car BEFORE you go down a single track road with passing points. Another fucking thing put the three point turn and reversing BACK onto the driving test. Another fucking thing, put the EMERGENCY STOP back onto the driving test, to wake the dozy cunts up. Another TWO fucking things DON'T FUCKING CHASE CLUBCARD POINTS OR REDEEMING SUPERMARKET VOUCHERS just to save 10 pence on your petrol. Oink oink oink! FUCK OFF WOMEN DRIVERS. I never met a single one of them that was capable of correcting understeer on a front wheel drive by pinching the handbrake for a second and flicking the back into line with the front. They just start panicking. Poofs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 Ive become quite emotionally attached to my local petrol station, I've used it every week for nearly 50 years, I still cant drive past it these days without filling up 'ere all week 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 35 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I never met a single one of them that was capable of correcting understeer on a front wheel drive by pinching the handbrake for a second and flicking the back into line with the front. They just start panicking. Poofs. The number of cheap SUVs like Qashqis or whatever the fuck they're called, with poor handling and high centre of gravity, that flip over - even the Range Rovers just roll over when the driver loses control or they leave the road or in a collision. The drivers think they are invincible, and they drive like cunts, sitting high up but in reality they are just waiting to take a tumble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 1 hour ago, Neil said: Ive become quite emotionally attached to my local petrol station, I've used it every week for nearly 50 years, I still cant drive past it these days without filling up 'ere all week I’d just like to drive for one fucking mile without mouthing the word ‘cunt’ at some other road user. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 8 hours ago, entitled little cunt said: The most annoying thing is when they get back in the car but take 15 minutes to get the thing out of the fucking way .Check Hair , check make up , check teeth , adjust mirror , adjust flange lips , check for handbag , look in handbag for no reason, reach for ignition key , hold on , check for purse , open handbag , find purse , check make up again , put seatbelt on , adjust seat .Notice the bloke behind is asking to be able to get to pump , give one finger to him , open window call him a cunt , start car , apply brakes, pull away at 0000.2 mph.JOB DONE . Lol..i love women ❤️ UNREPENTANTFENIANBAZTURDPANZERMURPHYBABY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entitled little cunt Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 7 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: The number of cheap SUVs like Qashqis or whatever the fuck they're called, with poor handling and high centre of gravity, that flip over - even the Range Rovers just roll over when the driver loses control or they leave the road or in a collision. The drivers think they are invincible, and they drive like cunts, sitting high up but in reality they are just waiting to take a tumble. Range Rover crash videos always bring a smile to my face .They do seem to manage to have accidents all by themselves and at High speed that's normally fatal for the driver which is a bonus .Dusky types and celebrity football wannabe's on the white powder do love to dump them into walls , jumping over roundabout and hit railings and buildings at 100mph after trying to impress themselves or others .There should be a "it'll be alright on the night " tv program about it with a witty narrative about it .I'd actually pay my licence fee to watch that . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entitled little cunt Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 8 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: It's a fucking Stallone movie round my way during the Mums Run. Really try to avoid driving at that time of day. Why can't the fucking fatty bum bums make their own fucking way to school. This parental "free choice" brought in by Thatcher should be fucking reversed and these dickhead you can only have fucking two choices of local schools. No fucking transport provided. Use your fucking legs you little cunts. They are utter cunts .Let's all drive the kids to school in black 4x4s with child on board stickers in the back window because it's too dangerous to let them walk to school as there's so many black 4x4s on the road .What the fuck is that all about .The cunts double park and stop on zig zags at pedestrian crossings , they can't drive the cunting wallowing behemoth vehicles and half the time the ugly bints are checking make up and for dark roots showing , adjusting their oversized sunglasses making sure that others who look exactly the same see them looking as Facebook perfect as possible .Fucking need a good war to sort all this shit out . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 13 hours ago, entitled little cunt said: Then they drive up your arse in some panzer type 4x4 like demented female demons , slightly damp road , who gives a fuck , foot down, little princess on board sticker in the back window , all this whilst they're posting on mumsnet about chaifing nipples and carpet burns because they shagged Simon from office last night .Then double parking to drop little Chylmidia off at school blocking the whole fucking road. Fucking cunts Don't forget to drive through a fence into a group of eight-year-olds on the way home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 16 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: I’d just like to drive for one fucking mile without mouthing the word ‘cunt’ at some other road user. It's easy if you try, just suck on a big cock when you're driving, like you do when you're at home. Problem solved! You can thank me later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 19 hours ago, entitled little cunt said: Then they drive up your arse in some panzer type 4x4 like demented female demons , slightly damp road , who gives a fuck , foot down, little princess on board sticker in the back window , all this whilst they're posting on mumsnet about chaifing nipples and carpet burns because they shagged Simon from office last night .Then double parking to drop little Chylmidia off at school blocking the whole fucking road. Fucking cunts Tell me about it, elc. You wanna see the Jemima, Penelope and Tarquin types 'doing lunch' with their bumder friend Hugo round my way. Rather than park their massive Chelsea tractor properly in the parking bay (front or back wheels slightly within the white box, making the maximum space available for other people) they park up and leave a useless 6ft of space in front or behind their vehicle, selfish cunts of the highest order. Now we have dark evenings, I'm thinking of going out and putting cat shit underneath their door handles and I was wondering what you thought about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Chap Raasclaat Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 12 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said: Lol..i love women ❤️ UNREPENTANTFENIANBAZTURDPANZERMURPHYBABY But women don't love you. Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 9 hours ago, entitled little cunt said: They are utter cunts .Let's all drive the kids to school in black 4x4s with child on board stickers in the back window because it's too dangerous to let them walk to school as there's so many black 4x4s on the road .What the fuck is that all about .The cunts double park and stop on zig zags at pedestrian crossings , they can't drive the cunting wallowing behemoth vehicles and half the time the ugly bints are checking make up and for dark roots showing , adjusting their oversized sunglasses making sure that others who look exactly the same see them looking as Facebook perfect as possible .Fucking need a good war to sort all this shit out . If this is happening all over the Western World, and there is no reason to doubt it, all this fucking bullshit about greenhouse, climate change and cutting this or that to meet targets is BULLSHIT. Let’s lol at the real culprits of climate change # unnecessary car journeys and unnecessary car ownership. Two car households should be banned. # air travel junkies. One flight a year short haul. Every two years if long haul. Fuck the industrialised shit mass tourism industry. Let the dagos find another way to make their money the lazy cunts. # Stop building new houses. Totally unnecessary, completely fictitious demand due to lack of price controls in housing market, buy-to-let rentier exploitation, greedy big house building firms like Persimmon etc. Most of what they're shooting up is cheap fuckng vivarium type dormitories, soul destroying awful to look at and cheap and mean on any amenities. It's fucking ruining what's left of the environment and habitats for the other CREATURES we SHARE this precious planet. # two children per family max. Long term aim must be to STOP pop growth and cut population by half by end of the century. If 21st cent man is so clever and if there has been so much technological progress, then half as many people should produce the same and run the system with less pollution. I am not Aubrey Manning because although the cunt was saying the same thing at the end, he was a fucking hypocrite because he had three kids with two wives (one in his eighties which is pretty zoological) so he was a fucking 2 faced cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 9 hours ago, entitled little cunt said: Range Rover crash videos always bring a smile to my face .They do seem to manage to have accidents all by themselves and at High speed that's normally fatal for the driver which is a bonus .Dusky types and celebrity football wannabe's on the white powder do love to dump them into walls , jumping over roundabout and hit railings and buildings at 100mph after trying to impress themselves or others .There should be a "it'll be alright on the night " tv program about it with a witty narrative about it .I'd actually pay my licence fee to watch that . The ultimate is that one at 3.00am in Ibiza carrying three clubbers home head on while dangerously overtaking a Fiat and going head first into an oncoming Refuse Lorry. The outcome was predictable. The RR is beyond recognition, after all it's just a fancy biscuit tin like other cars, Refuse Lorry slightly dented. Unfortunately the two girls in the Fiat were also slightly injured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mobiduck-the-third Posted January 13 Report Share Posted January 13 ...has anyone had success with Cataclean (a 'la Cuntaclean) to cancel their engine light for P0420 error code? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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