Eddie Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 I am dreading returning to work after the festive holiday. It's the time of the year when cunts think they are the jet setting elite by planning a cheap skiing trip to a European hell hole and telling you all about it. Skiing is for cunts, off piste, black runs stick them up your arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 3 minutes ago, Eddie said: I am dreading returning to work after the festive holiday. It's the time of the year when cunts think they are the jet setting elite by planning a cheap skiing trip to a European hell hole and telling you all about it. Skiing is for cunts, off piste, black runs stick them up your arse. I still ski but nearer Easter.A great friend of mine has a chalet in Verbier and another friend from school has a house in Geneva. I often drive out to Switzerland in the Range Rover. I've skied most years since I was 10. People who don't ski are usually gay. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 9 minutes ago, Eddie said: I am dreading returning to work after the festive holiday. It's the time of the year when cunts think they are the jet setting elite by planning a cheap skiing trip to a European hell hole and telling you all about it. Skiing is for cunts, off piste, black runs stick them up your arse. I can imagine your front counter colleagues and customers feel the same when you return from your week at Clacton. Regaling them with tales of how you threw up over the windmill on the crazy golf course, and took a shit in the Hall of Mirrors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 6 minutes ago, Eddie said: I am dreading returning to work after the festive holiday. It's the time of the year when cunts think they are the jet setting elite by planning a cheap skiing trip to a European hell hole and telling you all about it. Skiing is for cunts, off piste, black runs stick them up your arse. Good call Ed. That aside, why aren't you getting ready to go out and get merry - using your computer will just eat up your powercard. I'm off to get totally piste (I'm making this up in my fantasy : see Deco. as getting bladdered and spending a fortune of middle of the road booze makes me look good - he's a fucking Red as well, takes his orders directly from the Kremlin I'm sure). Forget the rant Ed. Weapons of choice for the evening are Pistonhead lager and Jaegerbombs. Lush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted December 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 6 minutes ago, Punkape said: I still ski but nearer Easter.A great friend of mine has a chalet in Verbier and another friend from school has a house in Geneva. I often drive out to Switzerland in the Range Rover. I've skied most years since I was 10. People who don't ski are usually gay. Sounds like a George Michael video... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted December 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 15 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: I can imagine your front counter colleagues and customers feel the same when you return from your week at Clacton. Regaling them with tales of how you threw up over the windmill on the crazy golf course, and took a shit in the Hall of Mirrors. Clacton is for skint losers, I holiday in a little town I discovered call Jaywick. Not far from Clacton but a world away in style. The Pakistani shop has traditional English values, will flog you a single cig with a light, the K is kept in a fridge actually set warmer than the ambient temperature of the shop and you can still buy a copy of razzle. Paradise when compared to any area in France. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 31 minutes ago, Punkape said: I still ski but nearer Easter.A great friend of mine has a chalet in Verbier and another friend from school has a house in Geneva. I often drive out to Switzerland in the Range Rover. I've skied most years since I was 10. People who don't ski are usually gay. Hopefully you'll end up like Schumacher, except your family won't give a fuck about you and will switch you off immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 1 minute ago, Bill Stickers said: Hopefully you'll end up like Schumacher, except your family won't give a fuck about you and will switch you off immediately. Better still, just leave the cunt to freeze to death. No point wasting valuable electricity on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 Just now, Ape said: Better still, just leave the cunt to freeze to death. No point wasting valuable electricity on him. No, it would be better if he was flown back at considerable expense on a life support machine. It would cost tens of thousands of pounds from his imaginary estate, and it would be even more brutal when his family pulled the plug, and did a little jig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 3 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: Hopefully you'll end up like Schumacher, except your family won't give a fuck about you and will switch you off immediately. Shame the press won't give a shit, though. I'd pay a million Euros for a picture of Punkers drooling in a spacker seat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 30 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: Hopefully you'll end up like Schumacher, except your family won't give a fuck about you and will switch you off immediately. 28 minutes ago, Ape said: Better still, just leave the cunt to freeze to death. No point wasting valuable electricity on him. I'd like to see the little queer being fed baby food through a straw, as opposed to his usual method of sausage through his anus. On topic, skiing is fucking belting. Especially getting shit faced at one of the on-piste bars, before taking your life in your hands and heading down a black run at full pelt and then hitting the apres ski. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 36 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: Hopefully you'll end up like Schumacher, except your family won't give a fuck about you and will switch you off immediately. Was Punkers ever really switched on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted December 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 The biggest cunt of them all is the snow boarder. Especially the english, floppy haired useless rich cunt with a trust fund, who suddenly believes he is a 1970's American surf dude. Nothing is more uncomfortable than listening to an upper class twit using phrases such as Shreddin’ and radical man from a cunt in mirror sunglasses and a stutter. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 1 minute ago, Eddie said: The biggest cunt of them all is the snow boarder. Especially the english, floppy haired useless rich cunt with a trust fund, who suddenly believes he is a 1970's American surf dude. Nothing is more uncomfortable than listening to an upper class twit using phrases such as Shreddin’ and radical man from a cunt in mirror sunglasses and a stutter. Holy shit, Eddie, is that John Travolta in as your avatar?? He was always a fat cunt but I didn't know he was going for the patented "Segal before the hair transplants" look. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted December 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 8 minutes ago, Roadkill said: Holy shit, Eddie, is that John Travolta in as your avatar?? He was always a fat cunt but I didn't know he was going for the patented "Segal before the hair transplants" look. Yes it is, he is an inflated version of his former self, if the rumours are true he has been pumped up Punkape style. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 2 minutes ago, Eddie said: Yes it is, he is an inflated version of his former self, if the rumours are true he has been pumped up Punkape style. Now we know who killed and ate Gandolfini... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 2 hours ago, Punkape said: I still ski but nearer Easter.A great friend of mine has a chalet in Verbier and another friend from school has a house in Geneva. I often drive out to Switzerland in the Range Rover. I've skied most years since I was 10. People who don't ski are usually gay. Switzerland you say? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 2 hours ago, Eddie said: Clacton is for skint losers, I holiday in a little town I discovered call Jaywick. Not far from Clacton but a world away in style. The Pakistani shop has traditional English values, will flog you a single cig with a light, the K is kept in a fridge actually set warmer than the ambient temperature of the shop and you can still buy a copy of razzle. Paradise when compared to any area in France. My supplemental evening job a few years back was working for a private security agency who had a contract with 'Park Resorts'. I was sent to 'Martello Beach' caravan site as extra security for their bar and entertainment complex. Before setting off a burly Glaswegian colleague handed me a telescopic steel baton and a can of pepper spray, adding "you'll fuckin' need that". He wasn't fucking wrong. The people in clacton have a saying. "Come home to a real fire, buy a bungalow in Jaywick". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 2 hours ago, Bill Stickers said: No, it would be better if he was flown back at considerable expense on a life support machine. It would cost tens of thousands of pounds from his imaginary estate, and it would be even more brutal when his family pulled the plug, and did a little jig. I always imagine Punkers being finished off with a polonium tipped putter, administered by an assassin hired by the 'Terrence Higgins Trust'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 31, 2016 Report Share Posted December 31, 2016 2 hours ago, Eddie said: The biggest cunt of them all is the snow boarder. Especially the english, floppy haired useless rich cunt with a trust fund, who suddenly believes he is a 1970's American surf dude. Nothing is more uncomfortable than listening to an upper class twit using phrases such as Shreddin’ and radical man from a cunt in mirror sunglasses and a stutter. This is true but you really can't lay the blame for that kind of cunt on skiing can you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted January 1, 2017 Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 6 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: My supplemental evening job a few years back was working for a private security agency who had a contract with 'Park Resorts'. I was sent to 'Martello Beach' caravan site as extra security for their bar and entertainment complex. Before setting off a burly Glaswegian colleague handed me a telescopic steel baton and a can of pepper spray, adding "you'll fuckin' need that". He wasn't fucking wrong. The people in clacton have a saying. "Come home to a real fire, buy a bungalow in Jaywick". Warehouse wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 1, 2017 Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 28 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Warehouse wanker. Happy new year Bubs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted January 1, 2017 Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 28 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Happy new year Bubs. Slag, cunt, dock fave. Ditto. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted January 1, 2017 Report Share Posted January 1, 2017 I would imagine the only type of skiing Punkape participates in, is in his dreams. Then he wakes up to see Frank and Brony keith laying in bed either side of him with hard-ons. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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