Advertisements For Cleaning Products

[Ape™️]

Adverts for cleaning products, particularly hard surface cleaners, surely must breach some laws of conduct. If I'm unlucky enough to have to endure one, I'm always stunned by the way an optically perfect reflective surface is suddenly revealed from beneath a film of shit, by one gentle sweep of a cleaning cloth (empowered by a magic cleaning fluid, obviously). No streaks, no need to wipe twice, no dirty residue. It's deceitful marketing cranked up to the max. It's a fucking disgrace. 

Anyway, while I have your attention: Fuck off, Jazz.

[Eric Cuntman]

28 minutes ago, Ape said:

Adverts for cleaning products, particularly hard surface cleaners, surely must breach some laws of conduct. If I'm unlucky enough to have to endure one, I'm always stunned by the way an optically perfect reflective surface is suddenly revealed from beneath a film of shit, by one gentle sweep of a cleaning cloth (empowered by a magic cleaning fluid, obviously). No streaks, no need to wipe twice, no dirty residue. It's deceitful marketing cranked up to the max. It's a fucking disgrace. 

Anyway, while I have your attention: Fuck off, Jazz.

Look up 'Kitchen Gun' and 'Toilet Grenade' on YouTube. Definitely do it, it's a Peter Serafinowicz sketch and one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen, a parody of the 'Cillit Bang' ads.

[ratcum]

Saw a bit of a programme about ants. Random cunts seem to run around like crazy and yet adhere to some big plan.  I bet if you stopped one of the little fuckers and asked what it was doing or what the plan was, the best you'd get would be some clicking noise. It's like Wrexham only in miniature.

[Ape™️]

6 minutes ago, ratcum said:

Saw a bit of a programme about ants. Random cunts seem to run around like crazy and yet adhere to some big plan.  I bet if you stopped one of the little fuckers and asked what it was doing or what the plan was, the best you'd get would be some clicking noise. It's like Wrexham only in miniature.

Never, ever trust an ant. Look what happened to Squatter Madras.

[Roadkill]

Just now, Ape said:

Never, ever trust an ant. Look what happened to Squatter Madras.

Bunch of the cunts were running around from underneath the skirting board in my dining room the other day. Wankers haven't shown back up after I gave them all a face full of oven cleaner and left their mates melting, twitching bodies out in the open for quarter of an hour before getting the hoover.

[Eric Cuntman]

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Bunch of the cunts were running around from underneath the skirting board in my dining room the other day. Wankers haven't shown back up after I gave them all a face full of oven cleaner and left their mates melting, twitching bodies out in the open for quarter of an hour before getting the hoover.

You can't trust them. Adam Ant is a liar, his real name is Stuart.

[Earl of Punkape]

1 hour ago, Ape said:

Adverts for cleaning products, particularly hard surface cleaners, surely must breach some laws of conduct. If I'm unlucky enough to have to endure one, I'm always stunned by the way an optically perfect reflective surface is suddenly revealed from beneath a film of shit, by one gentle sweep of a cleaning cloth (empowered by a magic cleaning fluid, obviously). No streaks, no need to wipe twice, no dirty residue. It's deceitful marketing cranked up to the max. It's a fucking disgrace. 

Anyway, while I have your attention: Fuck off, Jazz.

Make sure you scrub your arse with Harpic and Domestos and keep taking the retro-virals......

lol.

Fuck off

[Roadkill]

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You can't trust them. Adam Ant is a liar, his real name is Stuart.

This is what happens to Ant's up my way:

 

[Eric Cuntman]

5 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

This is what happens to Ant's up my way:

 

That was blinding! Find 'kitchen gun' sketch by Peter Serafinowicz in YouTube and post it for me, this flid phone won't let me do it.

[Roadkill]

This one?

 

[Eric Cuntman]

17 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

This one?

 

That's it! Cheers, fucking brilliant. EVERY CUNT WATCH THIS.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Of course special cunts require special modifications....take the Kitchen gun, for example.  Obviously, the standard model won't work for exceptionally thick cunts like Punkape.  So the Spack model for him:

[Guest Snatch]

6 hours ago, Ape said:

Adverts for cleaning products, particularly hard surface cleaners, surely must breach some laws of conduct. If I'm unlucky enough to have to endure one, I'm always stunned by the way an optically perfect reflective surface is suddenly revealed from beneath a film of shit, by one gentle sweep of a cleaning cloth (empowered by a magic cleaning fluid, obviously). No streaks, no need to wipe twice, no dirty residue. It's deceitful marketing cranked up to the max. It's a fucking disgrace. 

Anyway, while I have your attention: Fuck off, Jazz.

It's all bullshit Apers as we all know. The shit on the surface is never dry so easy to wipe off and let's be honest here,if you let your house get that fucking dirty then your not going to bother with cleaning products.

[Ape™️]

6 hours ago, Punkape said:

Make sure you scrub your arse with Harpic and Domestos and keep taking the retro-virals......

lol.

Fuck off

Run Punkape.exe

if first output = random homosexual reference then Punkape = faggot else Punkape = raving poof

gosub Fuck off

 

 

[Guest Lady Penelope]

7 hours ago, ratcum said:

Saw a bit of a programme about ants. Random cunts seem to run around like crazy and yet adhere to some big plan.  I bet if you stopped one of the little fuckers and asked what it was doing or what the plan was, the best you'd get would be some clicking noise. It's like Wrexham only in miniature.

Llangollen?

[Witheredscrote]

7 hours ago, Punkape said:

Make sure you scrub your arse with Harpic and Domestos and keep taking the retro-virals......

lol.

Fuck off

Punkers, I bet Ape and many others on here looked at last nights programme on Aids. Sitting there chewing their fingernails, and getting all excited when the poof was saying how much Prep has changed his life. Disgusting Godless creeps, I hope they all die............. lol

[Bubba C]

22 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said:

Llangollen?

Cefn. 

Fucking disgusting. 

[Witheredscrote]

5 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Cefn. 

Fucking disgusting. 

Welsh twat

[colonelkurtz]

I've always loved the sub text with all of these product adverts .." Are you the dirty slut with the skanky house that everyone on the street talks about behind your back ? .. well worry not because we've got just the stuff to make you acceptable to all us nice normal people"

[PANZER MURPHY]

7 minutes ago, colonelkurtz said:

I've always loved the sub text with all of these product adverts .." Are you the dirty slut with the skanky house that everyone on the street talks about behind your back ? .. well worry not because we've got just the stuff to make you acceptable to all us nice normal people"

You've a good career ahead of you in marketing...now convince women that men won't wanna shag them because of deodorant white marks on their black blouses 

Panzerknacker 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

12 hours ago, Ape said:

Run Punkape.exe

if first output = random homosexual reference then Punkape = faggot else Punkape = raving poof

gosub Fuck off

 

 

Is there no command in that programming language that all results = self terminate?  

[ratcum]

On ‎25‎/‎05‎/‎2017 at 11:52 PM, Ape said:

Never, ever trust an ant. Look what happened to Squatter Madras.

Or Jeremy Corbyn as he's called now. Faced with terrorism he immediately does nothing.

[Ape™️]

4 hours ago, ratcum said:

Or Jeremy Corbyn as he's called now. Faced with terrorism he immediately does nothing.

Five years laters.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

Are there any decent ethnic cleansing products?

[Roadkill]

5 hours ago, ratcum said:

Or Jeremy Corbyn as he's called now. Faced with terrorism he immediately does nothing.

Be fair, Ratty. He let it be well known that the fault rested clearly with the terrorists before he blamed those horrible Westerners for making the terrorists in the first place.