Cunts who order gay curries

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

4 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said:

I made a curry for two with a large naga ghost pepper finely chopped into it. It was the hottest thing I have ever eaten. A few bites in I lost the feeling in my mouth. Then I found I was in a different place for a while after managing to eat it all for a bet. No amount of milk or ice cream eased the fire, like bereavement, only time helped. When I shat it out my neighbour knocked on the door and asked if everything was alright because of the screaming.

There is fuck all need for anything like nagas, ghosts, scorpions , reapers or any such menaces- whatever flavour there might be is lost behind the chemical warfare level insanity. Zero point in anything stronger than a bonnet or habanero - anyone who says otherwise is a lying fucker.

[Earl of Punkape]

17 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

There is fuck all need for anything like nagas, ghosts, scorpions , reapers or any such menaces- whatever flavour there might be is lost behind the chemical warfare level insanity. Zero point in anything stronger than a bonnet or habanero - anyone who says otherwise is a lying fucker.

I use Scotch Bonnets in my favourite goat curry recipe by Hugh Fearnley-Whittingsall (Hugh was at Eton).

A friend of mine also makes very good goats cheeses and so I have a steady supply of goat meat.Some of his goats would be particularly attractive to many of the dirty bastards who post on Cuntscorner.

[Guest Spanky]

6 hours ago, Punkape said:

If you're making or ordering a curry it should be robust and very well spiced so it can be tasted and talked about memorably. Faggots will order a Korma or some insipid fruity vegetable curry they can smear on each other's bottoms later. Real people eat hot curries then splatter the toilet bowl with an eviscerated crow the next morning.

lol.

Fuck off.

I agree with this. Good nom, made even better through an accusation of plagiarism from a wooly woofter that probably orders an omelette with chips when he goes for a curry.

Goat curry cooked in a sauce so hot that it requires a risk assessment and specialist equipment before even considering serving is the only heterosexual thing to order.

[camberwell gypsy]

My favourite Indian meal is sag Aloo followed by a nice spicy Madras. Had a chicken phall once but it ruined a perfectly serviceable pair of undies. 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

11 minutes ago, Punkape said:

I use Scotch Bonnets in my favourite goat curry recipe by Hugh Fearnley-Whittingsall (Hugh was at Eton).

A friend of mine also makes very good goats cheeses and so I have a steady supply of goat meat.Some of his goats would be particularly attractive to many of the dirty bastards who post on Cuntscorner.

You, BDS and Frank among them.

Fuck off gay boy!

LOL

[Guest Spanky]

4 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Phaal, amateur today but a hard man's curry of old. Magmaloo and tindaloo are options at my local curry emporium, each exponentially hotter than the one before. But not as hot a the nagaloo that I made. Fuck! 

Anyone can pm me for the recipe if they are brave.

Post the recipe on here. I know a place that sells Trinidadian Scorpions and the missus has bought some of that Andrex moist toilet paper with aloe vera. 

[Guest Manky]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

See post above, you dirty ginger cunt.

Strange that. I am a ginger.

Must be crossed wires or summat.

[Earl of Punkape]

Ape will eat very gay mild curries from Tesco.......Tescos finest "Chicken Bender Bhuna".His civil partner will spray yogurt willy-nilly to cool them down.

Cunts who eat butter chicken have ulterior motives particularly in the knob jockeys community.

lol.

Fuck off.

[Cuntybaws]

As I recall, the Rev's a prawn bhuna man. Make of that what you will.

[Ape™️]

5 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Ape will eat very gay mild curries from Tesco.......Tescos finest "Chicken Bender Bhuna".His civil partner will spray yogurt willy-nilly to cool them down.

Cunts who eat butter chicken have ulterior motives particularly in the knob jockeys community.

lol.

Fuck off.

The only curry you want to eat is Tim, you degenerate shit-stabber.

lol.

Fuck off.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

7 hours ago, Punkape said:

Curry is now a British dish...like Welsh Rarebit.

 You're simply racist and simple.Fuck off as well you ignorant lump of regurgitated jackal's infected afterbirth.

lol.

Fuck off.

What are your thoughts on Harebit

[Stubby Pecker]

14 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Ape will eat very gay mild curries from Tesco.......Tescos finest "Chicken Bender Bhuna".His civil partner will spray yogurt willy-nilly to cool them down.

Cunts who eat butter chicken have ulterior motives particularly in the knob jockeys community.

lol.

Fuck off.

Good nom punkers, you vapid bender, it's led to much chortling here in stubby towers. I love a good hot curry but to fuck with the sweaty and uniquely painful experience on the shitter the day after. I'll stick with a dupiaza or a Ceylon and remain a human the next day. Fuck off

[Guest Lady Penelope]

A MILD curry can be really nice.

[Cap'n Cunt]

If Indians had had refrigerators back in Ye Olden Times, they wouldn't have had to invent curry - the spices and peppers were added to the meat to disguise the fact that it was rancid and rotting. Today, of course, the curry sauce is used to disguise the fact that Abdul has smeared shit on your lamb after failing to wipe his arse properly after taking a dump in the middle of the cooking process.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

Enough for two people.

500g chicken thighs on the bone with skin on

1 large fresh naga/ghost pepper finely chopped (seeds in you pussies). 2 if dried.

2 tsps cayenne pepper

1 medium onion finely chopped

6 cloves garlic smashed

1 green pepper chopped into thin strips

200g mushrooms sliced thickly

A thumb size piece of ginger finely grated

500ml chicken stock

1 tsp garam masala

1 tsp mustard seeds

1 tsp corriander seeds

1/2 tsp cardamom seeds

1/2 tsp fenugreek seeds

1/2 tsp caraway seeds

100g ghee

1 tsp turmeric

2 curry leaves or bayleaves 

Juice of half a lemon

In a cold dry frying pan put the seeds and switch the heat to high. When the seeds start to release their oils and pop place them in a mortar and pestle and grind. Turn the heat to medium and add the ghee, place the chicken skin side down and brown the skin. Turn over and add the chilli, ginger, onions, garlic, mushrooms and green pepper. Fry for a further 5 minutes stirring regularly to stop any burning or sticking, then add the lemon juice and spices and fry for another 5 minutes. Put in a large cooking pot and add the stock and curry leaves and simmer for 20 minutes. You can thicken with cornflower if you wish.

Enjoy.

Copyright Noakes's ring stinger book of fucking hot food 2017.

 

 

[Guest Ollyboro]

Evening, Spunkers. I must admit I'm surprised that you're a curry fan. Do you prefer Prawn Pooey On Toss, or a bit of Ballsack Aloo? If forced to choose between Chicken Dupiarsehole, or Back Tickler Marsala, which hot Indian sauce would you gag over? You're a fucking disgrace.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

10 hours ago, Punkape said:

If you're making or ordering a curry it should be robust and very well spiced so it can be tasted and talked about memorably. Faggots will order a Korma or some insipid fruity vegetable curry they can smear on each other's bottoms later. Real people eat hot curries then splatter the toilet bowl with an eviscerated crow the next morning.

lol.

Fuck off.

As someone who enjoys very hot curries, I think you're a boring cunt. In fact, here's a nom I made earlier:

 

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

6 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Enough for two people.

500g chicken thighs on the bone with skin on

1 large fresh naga/ghost pepper finely chopped (seeds in you pussies). 2 if dried.

2 tsps cayenne pepper

1 medium onion finely chopped

6 cloves garlic smashed

1 green pepper chopped into thin strips

200g mushrooms sliced thickly

A thumb size piece of ginger finely grated

500ml chicken stock

1 tsp garam masala

1 tsp mustard seeds

1 tsp corriander seeds

1/2 tsp cardamom seeds

1/2 tsp fenugreek seeds

1/2 tsp caraway seeds

100g ghee

1 tsp turmeric

2 curry leaves or bayleaves 

Juice of half a lemon

In a cold dry frying pan put the seeds and switch the heat to high. When the seeds start to release their oils and pop place them in a mortar and pestle and grind. Turn the heat to medium and add the ghee, place the chicken skin side down and brown the skin. Turn over and add the chilli, ginger, onions, garlic, mushrooms and green pepper. Fry for a further 5 minutes stirring regularly to stop any burning or sticking, then add the lemon juice and spices and fry for another 5 minutes. Put in a large cooking pot and add the stock and curry leaves and simmer for 20 minutes. You can thicken with cornflower if you wish.

Enjoy.

Copyright Noakes's ring stinger book of fucking hot food 2017.

 

 

Leave that caraway shit out. Hairy, bitter shite. 

I would increase your onion level tenfold, and roast them halved at 160c for 2 hours in a little mustard oil, then stick blend them , and cut the stock liquid back accordingly. This is the ticket to greatness .

[Decimus]

1 minute ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Leave that caraway shit out. Hairy, bitter shite. 

I would increase your onion level tenfold, and roast them halved at 160c for 2 hours in a little mustard oil, then stick blend them , and cut the stock liquid back accordingly. This is the ticket to greatness .

You'd add half a dead lamb you found beside the road in some godawful border town and garnish it with jolly ranchers.

You make me sick.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

1 minute ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

Leave that caraway shit out. Hairy, bitter shite. 

I would increase your onion level tenfold, and roast them halved at 160c for 2 hours in a little mustard oil, then stick blend them , and cut the stock liquid back accordingly. This is the ticket to greatness .

I have issues with large amounts of onion, but more would work better, I prefer more rusticity to my texture so I don't bother with a blender, still got all my teeth.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

You'd add half a dead lamb you found beside the road in some godawful border town and garnish it with jolly ranchers.

You make me sick.

I would. 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Quite surreal to see Quincy trading reciepes. He's like a slightly less coked up Nigella.

[Frank]

3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

My favourite Indian meal is sag Aloo followed by a nice spicy Madras. Had a chicken phall once but it ruined a perfectly serviceable pair of undies. 

I used to take my old mum to the Lahore in Gospel Oak every Friday afternoon.. just around the corner from the Royal Free. She always pronounced papadum 'pompadom'.... 'let's have 4 pompadoms, Frank..  2 spicy, 2 plain'. Although I never once corrected her, she was one racist fucking whore. 

[Ape™️]

5 minutes ago, Frank said:

I used to take my old mum to the Lahore in Gospel Oak every Friday afternoon.. just around the corner from the Royal Free. She always pronounced papadum 'pompadom'.... 'let's have 4 pompadoms, Frank..  2 spicy, 2 plain'. Although I never once corrected her, she was one racist fucking whore. 

I’m sure you were a huge disappointment to her.

[Guest Lord McCunty]

The naga curry my local curry house does leaves you fantasizing about being shagged up the arse by a snowman.