Wolfie Posted October 3, 2017 Report Share Posted October 3, 2017 There is no other profession that requires the skills of such a rude, argumentative, uncompromising old bag. Having experienced one such creature this morning (it had chains attached to its glasses), I believe they must have to seriously piss as many people off in a short while to qualify for any given local surgery job. And, while I understand the witches' prime role is to be responsible for determining whether a patient's health problem is an emergency or not, there seems to be an industry prerequisite which unfortunately warrants such an incredible degree of tactless, undiplomatic troutishness of the highest possible echelon. If ever there was a 'my shit doesn't stink' syndrome, these fucking hostile dragons rule the roost. I want the GP receptionist industry turned on its head, in which every old sow currently working is either: 1) assassinated, or 2) sidelined for medical research, which will hopefully create room for a younger, more merciful, approachable generation. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted October 3, 2017 Report Share Posted October 3, 2017 "Do you have an appointment ?" ... "No , I just thought I'd wander in here and to see your bag of spanners mush with your mouthful of teeth looking like a burned out fusebox and have a catch up read of last years back copies of Lancashire Life" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 3, 2017 Report Share Posted October 3, 2017 This is an astute and fair nom, they are fucking miserable old bags. However, there are mitigating circumstances. These people deal with the general public, which in itself is a fucking awful burden to bear. Not only that though, they deal with the worst of the general public. The hypochondriacs, the attention seekers who stick objects up their arses, doddering old cunts, morons who've had lung cancer twice and still smoke 40 a day, diabetics who subsist on haribo and chicken dippers, small children and fat cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted October 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2017 8 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: This is an astute and fair nom, they are fucking miserable old bags. However, there are mitigating circumstances. These people deal with the general public, which in itself is a fucking awful burden to bear. Not only that though, they deal with the worst of the general public. The hypochondriacs, the attention seekers who stick objects up their arses, doddering old cunts, morons who've had lung cancer twice and still smoke 40 a day, diabetics who subsist on haribo and chicken dippers, small children and fat cunts. Point(s) taken, and I do understand their job is far from easy, but I strongly suspect those with an object wedged up their arse would sensibly make their way direct to A&E. Where was your first port of call, Punkape, when you accidentally inserted a nine iron up your backside? Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted October 3, 2017 Report Share Posted October 3, 2017 52 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: This is an astute and fair nom, they are fucking miserable old bags. However, there are mitigating circumstances. These people deal with the general public, which in itself is a fucking awful burden to bear. Not only that though, they deal with the worst of the general public. The hypochondriacs, the attention seekers who stick objects up their arses, doddering old cunts, morons who've had lung cancer twice and still smoke 40 a day, diabetics who subsist on haribo and chicken dippers, small children and fat cunts. I'm so glad it meets your approval Top Dog. By the way, apart from Decimus 's cock, what's the weirdest object you've stuck up your arse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted October 3, 2017 Report Share Posted October 3, 2017 8 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: I'm so glad it meets your approval Top Dog. By the way, apart from Decimus 's cock, what's the weirdest object you've stuck up your arse? HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa. ...you're on fire tonight Drew. I don't know how you manage such original and witty comments night after night. Hahaha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Piston Posted October 3, 2017 Report Share Posted October 3, 2017 "Do you need to see a doctor": Why do you think I'm fuckin' calling.. "Is it a medical emergency": Tight chest...arm...arghhh Trouble is that if you try to be sensible, you are always at the back of the queue. As every benefit surfer knows: the 'movunblenowsitey' must always be treated first. Think E-bay but the parasites always win. Fuck LOL...kill a pikey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 3, 2017 Report Share Posted October 3, 2017 11 minutes ago, William T.D. Stickers said: This is an astute and fair nom, they are fucking miserable old bags. However, there are mitigating circumstances. These people deal with the general public, which in itself is a fucking awful burden to bear. Not only that though, they deal with the worst of the general public. The hypochondriacs, the attention seekers who stick objects up their arses, doddering old cunts, morons who've had lung cancer twice and still smoke 40 a day, diabetics who subsist on haribo and chicken dippers, small children and fat cunts. Exactly. Any GP will tell you that 75% of what they see in a day is crap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted October 3, 2017 Report Share Posted October 3, 2017 After my malaria/shits ive had to deal with these dragons for past few days once you finally do get through,you our then told we have no appointments left maybe you should try coming down in the morning and waiting from eight o'clock in the most condescending way, Im at work you stupid cunt didn't go down to well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted October 3, 2017 Report Share Posted October 3, 2017 Fuck GP's. They're fucking useless. It's like getting the AA mechanic to change the cam belt. My advice is to forget the GP and go direct to the specialist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted October 4, 2017 Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 10 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: Fuck GP's. They're fucking useless. It's like getting the AA mechanic to change the cam belt. My advice is to forget the GP and go direct to the specialist. Back door specialist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted October 4, 2017 Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 13 hours ago, colonelkurtz said: "Do you have an appointment ?" ... "No , I just thought I'd wander in here and to see your bag of spanners mush with your mouthful of teeth looking like a burned out fusebox and have a catch up read of last years back copies of Lancashire Life" Or Cheshire life.... lol. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted October 4, 2017 Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 13 hours ago, William T.D. Stickers said: This is an astute and fair nom, they are fucking miserable old bags. However, there are mitigating circumstances. These people deal with the general public, which in itself is a fucking awful burden to bear. Not only that though, they deal with the worst of the general public. The hypochondriacs, the attention seekers who stick objects up their arses, doddering old cunts, morons who've had lung cancer twice and still smoke 40 a day, diabetics who subsist on haribo and chicken dippers, small children and fat cunts. I make you right. The absolute dross that GP's have to waste valuable appointment time on is incredulous. Common sense or parenting skills are all that is required, but cunts want somebody else to take the responsibility. £50 for an appointment, only exemptions are those of state pensionable age, (fuck those on the rock 'n roll) would sort out unnecessary demand and reduce the considerable volume of missed appointments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted October 4, 2017 Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 1 hour ago, Punkape said: Or Cheshire life.... lol. Fuck off. Runcorn , Widnes , Alderley Edge , Warrington .... decisions , decisions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted October 4, 2017 Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 A worthy nom, well argued but there is sport to be had, in this most unpromising of situations. When asked even the most cloth-eared question by these harpies, go into great and extreme lengths about your symptoms, with all the self-awareness of John McCririck. Describe the colour and viscosity of goo emanating from your orifices! Give precise details on the smell! Use the most graphic of language and - I can't stress this strongly enough - conduct any discourse with these harridans at foghorn volume. If at the surgery in person, turn up with a sample in a plastic bag and wave it around like a hippie with a lighter at the end of a Grateful Dead concert. I guarantee you'll be ushered to the front of the queue and furthermore you'll not have to stand any nonsense from these ageing cunts one second longer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted October 4, 2017 Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 2 hours ago, The Beast said: (fuck those on the rock 'n roll) would sort out unnecessary demand and reduce the considerable volume of missed appointments. Fucking excellent idea. Die! Pansy you cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted October 4, 2017 Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said: A worthy nom, well argued but there is sport to be had, in this most unpromising of situations. When asked even the most cloth-eared question by these harpies, go into great and extreme lengths about your symptoms, with all the self-awareness of John McCririck. Describe the colour and viscosity of goo emanating from your orifices! Give precise details on the smell! Use the most graphic of language and - I can't stress this strongly enough - conduct any discourse with these harridans at foghorn volume. If at the surgery in person, turn up with a sample in a plastic bag and wave it around like a hippie with a lighter at the end of a Grateful Dead concert. I guarantee you'll be ushered to the front of the queue and furthermore you'll not have to stand any nonsense from these ageing cunts one second longer 1 ratten you could just tell them you're Welsh Jiggery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted October 4, 2017 Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 2 minutes ago, ratcum said: 1 ratten you could just tell them you're Welsh Jiggery To be fair, if you printed off and gave them any of our contributions to this forum over the years, that'd probably do the trick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted October 4, 2017 Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 Cracking nom!! These dried up, worthless sea hags are the epitome of burned out ill-tempered soon to die cunt! They over book the time slots, and when you tell them you haven't got all day to wait, they give you that nazi fucking death camp raised eyebrow (painted on no less) look like you're questioning their integrity. Despicable fucking cunts, the lot of them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted October 4, 2017 Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted October 5, 2017 Report Share Posted October 5, 2017 On 10/3/2017 at 8:50 PM, Drew P Pissflaps said: I'm so glad it meets your approval Top Dog. By the way, apart from Decimus 's cock, what's the weirdest object you've stuck up your arse? Drew, some members have you down as a heavy drinker. Can we discuss this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 5, 2017 Report Share Posted October 5, 2017 This was told to me by a GP I worked with. This happened at a previous surgery. Famous TV actor walked into the surgery complaining of a painful finger. The receptionist informed him that there were no appointments left. The actor decided to pull the "Do you know who I am"? routine. The receptionist replied she didn't know who he was. He then reeled off a shitload of TV programmes and films he'd been in. To which the receptionist replied "Sorry, but I don't tend to watch crap". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted October 5, 2017 Report Share Posted October 5, 2017 1 hour ago, Frank said: Drew, some members have you down as a heavy drinker. Can we discuss this? yes of course. Which pub shall we meet at? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted October 5, 2017 Report Share Posted October 5, 2017 10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: This was told to me by a GP I worked with. This happened at a previous surgery. Famous TV actor walked into the surgery complaining of a painful finger. The receptionist informed him that there were no appointments left. The actor decided to pull the "Do you know who I am"? routine. The receptionist replied she didn't know who he was. He then reeled off a shitload of TV programmes and films he'd been in. To which the receptionist replied "Sorry, but I don't tend to watch crap". A certain well known nightclub owner once tried to "string" me along with the "Do you know who I am?"crap when he was annoying some other passengers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted October 5, 2017 Report Share Posted October 5, 2017 7 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: yes of course. Which pub shall we meet at? Decs was right, Drew.. I hadn't really noticed you at all until recently. Standby. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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