Decimus Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 On a work course in Essex today, (Pontlands Park, Proper?) and as standard the buffet has brought out the worst in people. Public sector workers love a freebee, but even by their low standards, I've been absolutely fucking appalled by the behaviour today. Within a second of its arrival, a swarming horde of wheezing planning and environmental health officers descended upon it like a plague of fucking locusts. Some cunts have made three visists, whilst loudly declaring they won't be eating tonight, and that the kids will be fed on the leftovers that they have shovelled into their fucking handbags. By the time the obese masses had retired to their conference chairs to slip into a diabetic coma, there was one solitary scotch egg and two tuna sandwiches left. Fucking disgraceful. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 7 minutes ago, Decimus said: On a work course in Essex today, (Pontlands Park, Proper?) and as standard the buffet has brought out the worst in people. Public sector workers love a freebee, but even by their low standards, I've been absolutely fucking appalled by the behaviour today. Within a second of its arrival, a swarming horde of wheezing planning and environmental health officers descended upon it like a plague of fucking locusts. Some cunts have made three visists, whilst loudly declaring they won't be eating tonight, and that the kids will be fed on the leftovers that they have shovelled into their fucking handbags. By the time the obese masses had retired to their conference chairs to slip into a diabetic coma, there was one solitary scotch egg and two tuna sandwiches left. Fucking disgraceful. It seems to me that the real subject of this nomination is local government employees. I hope you got some bits of fruit on sticks too - kids need their five-a-day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said: I hope you got some bits of fruit on sticks too - kids need their five-a-day. I've got sweetcorn on the end of my stick from fucking (insert Baws family member) up the shit pipe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 7 minutes ago, Decimus said: On a work course in Essex today, (Pontlands Park, Proper?) and as standard the buffet has brought out the worst in people. Public sector workers love a freebee, but even by their low standards, I've been absolutely fucking appalled by the behaviour today. Within a second of its arrival, a swarming horde of wheezing planning and environmental health officers descended upon it like a plague of fucking locusts. Some cunts have made three visists, whilst loudly declaring they won't be eating tonight, and that the kids will be fed on the leftovers that they have shovelled into their fucking handbags. By the time the obese masses had retired to their conference chairs to slip into a diabetic coma, there was one solitary scotch egg and two tuna sandwiches left. Fucking disgraceful. To truly experience the Buffet, try a Thompson fully inclusive holiday. An expert in Jenga would not be able to compete with the stacking skills of the filthy sun burnt northerners. The dirt bags waddle back to their tables with a mountain of food precariously teetering on the plate. This is woofed down at speed only for the process to be repeated at least 3 times. Manky, you and your ilk make me sick. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 19 minutes ago, Decimus said: On a work course in Essex today, (Pontlands Park, Proper?) and as standard the buffet has brought out the worst in people. Public sector workers love a freebee, but even by their low standards, I've been absolutely fucking appalled by the behaviour today. Within a second of its arrival, a swarming horde of wheezing planning and environmental health officers descended upon it like a plague of fucking locusts. Some cunts have made three visists, whilst loudly declaring they won't be eating tonight, and that the kids will be fed on the leftovers that they have shovelled into their fucking handbags. By the time the obese masses had retired to their conference chairs to slip into a diabetic coma, there was one solitary scotch egg and two tuna sandwiches left. Fucking disgraceful. What were you doing at the conference? Are you a Rodent inspection operative ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 3 minutes ago, Punkape said: What were you doing at the conference? Are you a Rodent inspection operative ? Spot on Punkers, and the only equipment he needs to inspect a rodent is a large mirror. lol indeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 1 hour ago, Decimus said: On a work course in Essex today, (Pontlands Park, Proper?) and as standard the buffet has brought out the worst in people. Public sector workers love a freebee, but even by their low standards, I've been absolutely fucking appalled by the behaviour today. Within a second of its arrival, a swarming horde of wheezing planning and environmental health officers descended upon it like a plague of fucking locusts. Some cunts have made three visists, whilst loudly declaring they won't be eating tonight, and that the kids will be fed on the leftovers that they have shovelled into their fucking handbags. By the time the obese masses had retired to their conference chairs to slip into a diabetic coma, there was one solitary scotch egg and two tuna sandwiches left. Fucking disgraceful. Have heard of it, never been there though. Much like yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 Sounds much like any "carvery" pub you care to visit . North or South it doesn't matter , you're guaranteed the full on fat bastard , sports direct , brat sprogs and squelching biffer missus all exhibiting their amazing skills in carrying a 12" high heaped plateful of fuck knows what with an eagerness to ram it all in the pie hole that would shame Mr Creosote. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 It’s inevitable in a capitalist society that if you give something away for free cunts will scoop up as much as they can before it runs out. That’s why weddings with a free bar often end up in a mass punch up. People who are not used to heavy drinking neck down as much as they can because it’s free. Eventually some cunt calls some other cunt a cunt and it all kicks off. I’m sure Camberwell Gypsy has been to a few pikey weddings and can confirm this. On second thoughts they are lowlife scum anyway so that’s a bad example. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 38 minutes ago, The Beast said: never been there though. Much like yourself. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 2 hours ago, Decimus said: On a work course in Essex today, (Pontlands Park, Proper?) and as standard the buffet has brought out the worst in people. Public sector workers love a freebee, but even by their low standards, I've been absolutely fucking appalled by the behaviour today. Within a second of its arrival, a swarming horde of wheezing planning and environmental health officers descended upon it like a plague of fucking locusts. Some cunts have made three visists, whilst loudly declaring they won't be eating tonight, and that the kids will be fed on the leftovers that they have shovelled into their fucking handbags. By the time the obese masses had retired to their conference chairs to slip into a diabetic coma, there was one solitary scotch egg and two tuna sandwiches left. Fucking disgraceful. Were you immune to also stuffing your face like a rabid locust, unlike your public sector colleagues? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest White van man Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 2 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: Spot on Punkers, and the only equipment he needs to inspect a rodent is a large mirror. lol indeed https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/01/22/paris-dustmen-film-swarming-plague-rats-paris-faces-mass-rodent/amp/#ampshare=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/01/22/paris-dustmen-film-swarming-plague-rats-paris-faces-mass-rodent/ Think you need him in France. You can have him on the condition you don't send him back. He'll need fed. He was too busy arse licking, he missed his bait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 55 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Were you immune to also stuffing your face like a rabid locust, unlike your public sector colleagues? I've not been in the game long enough to become an institutionalised buffet buccaneer. You've got to get up pretty fucking early in the morning if you want to eat anything but crumbs when you're in a room full of cunts with Unison clipboards who have caught the scent of free food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 5 hours ago, Punkape said: What were you doing at the conference? Are you a Rodent inspection operative ? 5 hours ago, Witheredscrote said: Spot on Punkers, and the only equipment he needs to inspect a rodent is a large mirror. lol indeed As much as I despise this @Decimus and his endemic eastern thickness, now even more that he can't show some sense and leave said feeding frenzy for an hour of fresh air, healthy lunch and to download some more gay porn, it's a bit rich you dirty cunts accusing him of hiding the rodent. The head of a fully grown capybara wouldn't touch the sides of punkers cavernous arse and the plastic frog is a self confessed goose fucker. Fuck all 3 of you 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 9 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: As much as I despise this @Decimus and his endemic eastern thickness, now even more that he can't show some sense and leave said feeding frenzy for an hour of fresh air, healthy lunch and to download some more gay porn, it's a bit rich you dirty cunts accusing him of hiding the rodent. The head of a fully grown capybara wouldn't touch the sides of punkers cavernous arse and the plastic frog is a self confessed goose fucker. Fuck all 3 of you My hero. Fucking beautiful x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 6 hours ago, Decimus said: On a work course in Essex today, (Pontlands Park, Proper?) and as standard the buffet has brought out the worst in people. Public sector workers love a freebee, but even by their low standards, I've been absolutely fucking appalled by the behaviour today. Within a second of its arrival, a swarming horde of wheezing planning and environmental health officers descended upon it like a plague of fucking locusts. Some cunts have made three visists, whilst loudly declaring they won't be eating tonight, and that the kids will be fed on the leftovers that they have shovelled into their fucking handbags. By the time the obese masses had retired to their conference chairs to slip into a diabetic coma, there was one solitary scotch egg and two tuna sandwiches left. Fucking disgraceful. Most buffets are hardly more than slowly solidifying grease pans over a small flame. You probably were given a blessing by missing the shit. It also seems that a proper business lunch of a few martini's or other such gentleman's libation, would see your grateful smile before returning to the office. Buffet's are for the truly lowest form of cunt, but sadly, we must all endure one from time to time, because bosses have people who are also cunts take them as a cheap way out of a proper office luncheon. Next time, just take a couple of flasks in and tell them all to fuck off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 5 hours ago, Decimus said: Oh holy shit, Decimus has only just done a Frank and broken the fourth wall by posting a photo form the outside world to prove he is where he says he is! Fucking LEGEND. The only think worse than a bunch of useless public sector ants on a junket is a bunch of local government public sector ants on a junket. The most useless of the useless. Fat old men who 'just don't get on with computers' but would go crying to the unions the minute there was any talk of replacing them with somebody competent. A 'chief officer for communities' who will end up making a drunken, racist Twitter rant.... a 'senior manager for Education' who can't spell... 'head of Environment' who drives everywhere.... 'strategic health officer' who is obese and lives out of Greggs. All on six-figure salaries for a two-day working week. Let me guess, your wee trip away is all 'work hard, play hard', shite Powerpoint presentations and an "open bar" at the end of it all that comprises a couple of buckets worth of multi-pack Becks bottles with peeling labels, stuffed into rapidly thawing ice? And then, to add insult to injury, the Polish lady on the 'breakfast station' refused to give you a second rasher of barely cooked, watery bacon despite you trying your damnedest to chat her up. Lol Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 9 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Oh holy shit, Decimus has only just done a Frank and broken the fourth wall by posting a photo form the outside world to prove he is where he says he is! Fucking LEGEND. The only think worse than a bunch of useless public sector ants on a junket is a bunch of local government public sector ants on a junket. The most useless of the useless. Fat old men who 'just don't get on with computers' but would go crying to the unions the minute there was any talk of replacing them with somebody competent. A 'chief officer for communities' who will end up making a drunken, racist Twitter rant.... a 'senior manager for Education' who can't spell... 'head of Environment' who drives everywhere.... 'strategic health officer' who is obese and lives out of Greggs. All on six-figure salaries for a two-day working week. Let me guess, your wee trip away is all 'work hard, play hard', shite Powerpoint presentations and an "open bar" at the end of it all that comprises a couple of buckets worth of multi-pack Becks bottles with peeling labels, stuffed into rapidly thawing ice? And then, to add insult to injury, the Polish lady on the 'breakfast station' refused to give you a second rasher of barely cooked, watery bacon despite you trying your damnedest to chat her up. Lol Fuck off. It cost £250.00 a head, for 60 separate representatives. In the likely scenario that you are too thick to add this up, and the certainty that you're absolutely smashed on a Monday evening and unable to navigate the calculator on your massive-buttoned Sagem phone, that's 15k of tax payers money. All in all a productive day out, and completely unnecessary as this could have been delivered through the medium of a twenty minute power point webinar. Still, you're paying for it, or at least you would be if you weren't a life long claimant of JSA and PIP. Lol Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted January 22, 2018 Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 5 minutes ago, Decimus said: ...could have been delivered through the medium of a twenty minute power point webinar. No way you web-toed yokel fucks have the IT infrastructure to support webinars, running Vista on ancient desktop machines full of bloatware encryption software you paid far too much for, and all because you're stupid enough to think the Russians would hack you to find out where the grit bins are or when the public libraries close. As if Norfolk even has fucking libraries. £15,000 must be about 35% of the GDP of Norfolk, right? There must be a lot of angry old pensioners out there, having to go down to a bi-annual grey bin collection just so that you can use the sauna and steam room in the "leisure suite"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 23, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2018 12 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said: There must be a lot of angry old pensioners out there, having to go down to a bi-annual grey bin collection just so that you can use the sauna and steam room in the "leisure suite"? Certainly a lot more angry pensioners down here than in your tin-pot, shit hole of a country. We have a life expectancy of over 81 in Norfolk, compared to the 76 years of utter fucking misery your lot have to endure in your frozen dump. I'd say they're more pissed off at having to subsidise the £15bn deficit that Scotland runs at the expense of English taxpayers. And that's without having to fund the free prescriptions and feckless lifestyles of the 750,000 jocks who have already crossed the border to escape the stagnant drudgery of the socialist Edinburghgrad regime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 23, 2018 Report Share Posted January 23, 2018 16 hours ago, White van man said: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/01/22/paris-dustmen-film-swarming-plague-rats-paris-faces-mass-rodent/amp/#ampshare=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/01/22/paris-dustmen-film-swarming-plague-rats-paris-faces-mass-rodent/ Think you need him in France. You can have him on the condition you don't send him back. He'll need fed. He was too busy arse licking, he missed his bait. In Paris they are filthy rodents, in this part of France we call them tourists. lol Fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted January 23, 2018 Report Share Posted January 23, 2018 13 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: As much as I despise this @Decimus and his endemic eastern thickness, now even more that he can't show some sense and leave said feeding frenzy for an hour of fresh air, healthy lunch and to download some more gay porn, it's a bit rich you dirty cunts accusing him of hiding the rodent. The head of a fully grown capybara wouldn't touch the sides of punkers cavernous arse and the plastic frog is a self confessed goose fucker. Fuck all 3 of you Congratulations Stibbly, a 'like' and praise from the Cliquemeister. You are a member, enjoy it while you can. Fucking sap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted January 23, 2018 Report Share Posted January 23, 2018 18 hours ago, Decimus said: Fuck me, a whole training day and this is the only doodling you managed to produce? No spurting cock and balls, no sketches of the fat boring “facilitator”, no pictures of blokes with oversized glasses and birds with oversized tits? What the fuck were you doing all day you lazy cunt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted January 23, 2018 Report Share Posted January 23, 2018 1 minute ago, judgetwi said: Fuck me, a whole training day and this is the only doodling you managed to produce? No spurting cock and balls, no sketches of the fat boring “facilitator”, no pictures of blokes with oversized glasses and birds with oversized tits? What the fuck were you doing all day you lazy cunt? Shut the fuck up you moaning cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted January 23, 2018 Report Share Posted January 23, 2018 Rude fucking bitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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