Susan Calman

[scotty]

If proof were needed that the BBC has a quota of "unfunny female lesbians from inside the UK but outside of England" to fill, this hideous scottish midget provides it in spades. Everything about her grates on me like 80 grit sandpaper. The way she repeatedly refers to her "wife", the word spat aggressively out through gritted teeth as if daring the listener to argue the point, the continuous references to her law degree, her general lack of any kind of comedic value.....

@Rev and @Cuntybaws, over to you. Defend your country and disown this waste of oxygen forthwith.

[Ape™️]

5 minutes ago, scotty said:

If proof were needed that the BBC has a quota of "unfunny female lesbians from inside the UK but outside of England" to fill, this hideous scottish midget provides it in spades. Everything about her grates on me like 80 grit sandpaper. The way she repeatedly refers to her "wife", the word spat aggressively out through gritted teeth as if daring the listener to argue the point, the continuous references to her law degree, her general lack of any kind of comedic value.....

@Rev and @Cuntybaws, over to you. Defend your country and disown this waste of oxygen forthwith.

Perhaps bender could go to work on her with his cleverly named “spine ripper”?

[Last Cunt Standing]

38 minutes ago, scotty said:

If proof were needed that the BBC has a quota of "unfunny female lesbians from inside the UK but outside of England" to fill, this hideous scottish midget provides it in spades. Everything about her grates on me like 80 grit sandpaper. The way she repeatedly refers to her "wife", the word spat aggressively out through gritted teeth as if daring the listener to argue the point, the continuous references to her law degree, her general lack of any kind of comedic value.....

@Rev and @Cuntybaws, over to you. Defend your country and disown this waste of oxygen forthwith.

Apparently the rug muncher spent much of her teens self harming and sloshing down paracetamol with her Irn Bru, and has written of her gratitude to the NHS. Pity she wasn’t bolder with the dose. The bitch should be strapped to an Edinburgh Castle battlement and forced to take Mons Meg vaginally until she agrees never to tell another joke in public. That narky twang in her voice demands a laryngectomy with a jigsaw. 

[Cuntybaws]

17 minutes ago, scotty said:

@Rev and @Cuntybaws, over to you. Defend your country and disown this waste of oxygen forthwith.

 

[Decimus]

I fucking hate the BBC and it's bender box ticking exercises. They are fervently insistent on inflicting all manner of sexual deviants upon the general public under the dubious guise of comedy. Same with ethnic minorities. Lenny fucking Henry, Stephen K. Amos, Shappi Pakisandi, and Richard cunting Blackwood. They'll put any cunt on the telly as long as they've got a tan and a repertoire of knock knock jokes.

And when will they get it into their thick fucking skulls that women aren't funny. Get them off of my fucking screen.

[ratcum]

14 minutes ago, scotty said:

If proof were needed that the BBC has a quota of "unfunny female lesbians from inside the UK but outside of England" to fill, this hideous scottish midget provides it in spades. Everything about her grates on me like 80 grit sandpaper. The way she repeatedly refers to her "wife", the word spat aggressively out through gritted teeth as if daring the listener to argue the point, the continuous references to her law degree, her general lack of any kind of comedic value.....

@Rev and @Cuntybaws, over to you. Defend your country and disown this waste of oxygen forthwith.

Grotto, there's hordes of these stumpy humour slayers massing at our northern border.

Disguised as men or even highland cattle, the chowder slurping gorgons are all vying for a slot (see what I did there?) on Sassenach TV

[Jake The Muss]

What a boring unfunny cuntbreed, must be a relation of Lady P.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG9kuUw1ssE

[Eric Cuntman]

22 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I fucking hate the BBC and it's bender box ticking exercises. They are fervently insistent on inflicting all manner of sexual deviants upon the general public under the dubious guise of comedy. Same with ethnic minorities. Lenny fucking Henry, Stephen K. Amos, Shappi Pakisandi, and Richard cunting Blackwood. They'll put any cunt on the telly as long as they've got a tan and a repertoire of knock knock jokes.

And when will they get it into their thick fucking skulls that women aren't funny. Get them off of my fucking screen.

I blame Alan Yentob, the man who looks like the inspiration for the caricaturists who drew the propaganda cartoons for Hitler.

[Guest judgetwi]

Posh parents.           Tick

Posh public school  Tick

Barbarian ethnic.      Tick

Sexual deviant.          Tick

SNP                              Tick

Remoaner bitch          Tick

Funny?                          N/A

Ideal Brussels Broadcasting material

 

[scotty]

1 hour ago, ratcum said:

Grotto, there's hordes of these stumpy humour slayers massing at our northern border.

Disguised as men or even highland cattle, the chowder slurping gorgons are all vying for a slot (see what I did there?) on Sassenach TV

What are your thoughts on another civil war, ratty? Would those grounds justify it? 

[Jake The Muss]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

I fucking hate the BBC and it's bender box ticking exercises. They are fervently insistent on inflicting all manner of sexual deviants upon the general public under the dubious guise of comedy. Same with ethnic minorities. Lenny fucking Henry, Stephen K. Amos, Shappi Pakisandi, and Richard cunting Blackwood. They'll put any cunt on the telly as long as they've got a tan and a repertoire of knock knock jokes.

And when will they get it into their thick fucking skulls that women aren't funny. Get them off of my fucking screen.

Agreed D, you're still a Norfolk spastic though.

[camberwell gypsy]

Never heard of her. But going by the description of her comedic '"talent", I bet the lefty students and middle class cunts piss themselves laughing at her gigs. 

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Never heard of her. But going by the description of her comedic '"talent", I bet the lefty students and middle class cunts piss themselves laughing at her gigs. 

Hadn't heard of her either so I just googled her. She looks like a Down syndrome Jimmy Krankie on Fluoxetine.

[ratcum]

31 minutes ago, scotty said:

What are your thoughts on another civil war, ratty? Would those grounds justify it? 

Any war is good Scotty. Best start with Liverpool though eh?

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

I had to google the cunt, now the pain on the wall has peeled away.  I want her/IT dead.

[Guest Gronda Gronda]

1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said:

I had to google the cunt, now the pain on the wall has peeled away.  I want her/IT dead.

Don't forget, you hated the chuckle brothers the first time you watched chuckle vision.

Give her another chance before writing her off.

[scotty]

5 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Never heard of her. But going by the description of her comedic '"talent", I bet the lefty students and middle class cunts piss themselves laughing at her gigs. 

She's all over R4 like a tiny scottish rash, gypps. I bet she's also lined up for bake off or strictly as well so brace yourself. 

[and]

7 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Never heard of her. But going by the description of her comedic '"talent", I bet the lefty students and middle class cunts piss themselves laughing at her gigs. 

...when they're not munching each others rugs or playing hide the sausage with their 'husband'.

[cuntspotter]

It baffles me how these individuals earn any sort of living entertaining people...on the basis that they are simply not entertaining

[Guest Lady Penelope]

7 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Never heard of her. But going by the description of her comedic '"talent", I bet the lefty students and middle class cunts piss themselves laughing at her gigs. 

I bet that she only performs in front of quasi upper class righties like Punker's and I bet that he giggles his tits off.

[Cuntybaws]

Euurrgghhh - now there's vomit in my mouth!

[Guest judgetwi]

34 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Euurrgghhh - now there's vomit in my mouth!

My god! The next time any of you dirty bastards are jerking off to lezzie porn.........this is the reality!

[camberwell gypsy]

6 hours ago, scotty said:

She's all over R4 like a tiny scottish rash, gypps. I bet she's also lined up for bake off or strictly as well so brace yourself. 

Don't watch any of that shite so doesn't effect me. 

[Cuntybaws]

6 hours ago, scotty said:

 I bet she's also lined up for bake off or strictly as well so brace yourself. 

She's already been on Strictly, the horrid little chunky-thighed Betty Boop wannabe..

Euurrgghhh - now there's vomit everywhere!

[Guest luke swarm]

15 hours ago, scotty said:

If proof were needed that the BBC has a quota of "unfunny female lesbians from inside the UK but outside of England" to fill, this hideous scottish midget provides it in spades. Everything about her grates on me like 80 grit sandpaper. The way she repeatedly refers to her "wife", the word spat aggressively out through gritted teeth as if daring the listener to argue the point, the continuous references to her law degree, her general lack of any kind of comedic value.....

@Rev and @Cuntybaws, over to you. Defend your country and disown this waste of oxygen forthwith.

Yes I think I remember this "comedienne! from have I got news for you or some such show.

She bears a canny resemblance to that woman who used to play Waynetta Slob with Harry Enfield, its fair to say that Waynetta would be considered the tidy one if they ever went out together . And you say she bats for the other side as well which is not helpful at all. On the beer goggle scale, I am afraid she is off the scale and on the comedy side she is about as funny as our Bert.