Neil Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 I type this as I sit in extreme discomfort listening to absolute fucking tosh,jazz? more like fucking aural jizz.Like a fucking bee in the ear canal.Fucking great Bose speakers churning out stuff that sounds like some deaf retard doing his best to hear just one small noise......fucking 6 and a half quid a fucking pint too,robbing cockney cunts 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 Let's hope she's worth it, neil. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 2 minutes ago, scotty said: Let's hope she's worth it, neil. I suspect that Neil is enjoying the lavish splendour of a premier inn, whilst his female companion lies gagged and tied to a filthy mattress in the back of a van parked outside. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 18 minutes ago, Neil said: I type this as I sit in extreme discomfort listening to absolute fucking tosh,jazz? more like fucking aural jizz.Like a fucking bee in the ear canal.Fucking great Bose speakers churning out stuff that sounds like some deaf retard doing his best to hear just one small noise......fucking 6 and a half quid a fucking pint too,robbing cockney cunts Just a couple of questions, Neil. Firstly, I assume that the cables attached to the lift are good old fashioned British steel and not Chinese? It would explain why you didn't hurtle to your death upon being greased up and levered into the compartment by a team of hotel porters. Secondly, surely a bit of background noise would help distract from the terrified screams of the half-dead prostitute whose face you're currently curling one out onto? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 41 minutes ago, Neil said: I type this as I sit in extreme discomfort listening to absolute fucking tosh,jazz? more like fucking aural jizz.Like a fucking bee in the ear canal.Fucking great Bose speakers churning out stuff that sounds like some deaf retard doing his best to hear just one small noise......fucking 6 and a half quid a fucking pint too,robbing cockney cunts What's the hourly rate, Neil, and do you get fresh clean linens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 34 minutes ago, Decimus said: Just a couple of questions, Neil. Firstly, I assume that the cables attached to the lift are good old fashioned British steel and not Chinese? It would explain why you didn't hurtle to your death upon being greased up and levered into the compartment by a team of hotel porters. Secondly, surely a bit of background noise would help distract from the terrified screams of the half-dead prostitute whose face you're currently curling one out onto? Fucking hell Decimus, Norfolk does strange things to a chap doesn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 2 hours ago, Neil said: I type this as I sit in extreme discomfort listening to absolute fucking tosh,jazz? more like fucking aural jizz.Like a fucking bee in the ear canal.Fucking great Bose speakers churning out stuff that sounds like some deaf retard doing his best to hear just one small noise......fucking 6 and a half quid a fucking pint too,robbing cockney cunts I feel your pain. Bose speakers will make shit music more viral and harder to block. Which remainds me of my own hell noise experience I couldn’t immediately escape, five years ago in the port of Hamburg. Having some spare time, my colleagues and I decided it would be a good idea to take a boat trip for and hour or so. So we got onto this nice looking vessel, got some beers and took off. Not five minutes later, this fucking Kraut screecher came out and started his performance. Jesus fucking Christ, save us from speed loaded, mad parrot bellowing testosterone young twerp with a mike and powerful amps. This cunt was not only going full regalia shouting his head off, he was mixing in some Wiener Schnitzel disco funk into it for the full effect. We scampered under the deck, but the speakers, fucking Bose were there too and there was no place to hide. There were frequent trips to the bar to numb the pain and I couldn’t wait to get out of that floating mad house fast enough. From then on, I tend to stear clear of sailing entertainment traps when in Germany and stick to peaceful bus boats, for both commute and relaxation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted September 24, 2018 Report Share Posted September 24, 2018 (edited) 3 hours ago, scotty said: Let's hope she's worth it, neil. If it's worth a wank, then he'll put-up with it and will go for another five-knuckle shuffle before closing time. I'd also wager that he has a penchant for The Speaking Clock, too. "By the first stroke...." he's almost spat his load in the call-box and before his 20p has cut him short. Reversing the charges, has opened up a new world for him. Edited September 24, 2018 by 'eavensabove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted September 25, 2018 Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 11 hours ago, Neil said: I type this as I sit in extreme discomfort listening to absolute fucking tosh,jazz? more like fucking aural jizz.Like a fucking bee in the ear canal.Fucking great Bose speakers churning out stuff that sounds like some deaf retard doing his best to hear just one small noise......fucking 6 and a half quid a fucking pint too,robbing cockney cunts Is it because the hotel lobby music reminds you of the backing track to your favourite porn flicks and you're sat there with a stonking hard - on, unable to stand up for fear of the other punters realising what a filthy minded, self abuser you really are? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted September 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 It's worse than that Drewpy......having spent the usual fortune at the bar and on grub the fact that this is with the Mrs means I'm not going to be able to do the usual of slipping one up her arse as soon as she passes out when her head hits the pillow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted September 25, 2018 Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 13 hours ago, Neil said: I type this as I sit in extreme discomfort listening to absolute fucking tosh,jazz? more like fucking aural jizz.Like a fucking bee in the ear canal.Fucking great Bose speakers churning out stuff that sounds like some deaf retard doing his best to hear just one small noise......fucking 6 and a half quid a fucking pint too,robbing cockney cunts Six and a half fucking quid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted September 25, 2018 Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 4 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: Six and a half fucking quid! Rent boy spunk doesn't come cheap. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted September 25, 2018 Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 AAAAAHHHHHHH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted September 25, 2018 Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 On 9/24/2018 at 6:09 PM, Neil said: Fucking great Bose speakers... There's your problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted September 25, 2018 Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 (edited) 13 hours ago, cuntspotter said: Six and a half fucking quid! I think you'll find, it cost him a sick squid. Edited September 25, 2018 by 'eavensabove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted September 25, 2018 Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: I think you'll find, it cost him a sick squid. Shut up, jazz. Idiot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted September 25, 2018 Report Share Posted September 25, 2018 31 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Shut up, jazz. Idiot. Have you taken on the role of Frank? Dog-fucker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted October 8, 2018 Report Share Posted October 8, 2018 Not hotel lobby music but the fucking crap that's being piped into the children's soft play place I'm currently in with the grand kids. It's that awful fucking music that Kiss FM pump out. Every tune seems to have the singer using one of those voice boxes that Cher used on one of her tracks years ago. It is utter mind numbing, banal crap imaginable. The reason it's being played is not for the parents/carers of the kids because the average age is mid to late thirties, but for the staff here who are mostly in their early 20s. Mostly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Arthur Fuqs-Aches Posted October 9, 2018 Report Share Posted October 9, 2018 On 9/24/2018 at 6:09 PM, Neil said: I type this as I sit in extreme discomfort listening to absolute fucking tosh,jazz? more like fucking aural jizz.Like a fucking bee in the ear canal.Fucking great Bose speakers churning out stuff that sounds like some deaf retard doing his best to hear just one small noise......fucking 6 and a half quid a fucking pint too,robbing cockney cunts Much worse has happened in these rip off joints. If you ever walk into the lobby and some bearded, craply tattooed hipster fuckwit is claiming to be 'DJing' then you'll be scarpering back for some of that £6.50 ale and jazz muzac forthwith. Cuntitude on a cataclysmic scale. Hotels for corporate arseheads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.