Stupid Fucking Cunts Who Buy A House And Then Spend All Their Time Hanging Around Outside it

[Decimus]

Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway.

There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam.

Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts.

 

[Jiggerycock]

Maybe they're pointing at you?

Maybe, when they do go back inside, they go 'Fuck me, state of that rotund cunt over there, sweating like a nonce in a prison riot every day. His room must stink to buggery - he's in there 3 hours a day....fucker never leaves the place!"

Maybe that's what they're doing.

It's a theory, you'll have to admit, that has to be entertained.

 

[Decimus]

21 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Maybe they're pointing at you?

Maybe, when they do go back inside, they go 'Fuck me, state of that rotund cunt over there, sweating like a nonce in a prison riot every day. His room must stink to buggery - he's in there 3 hours a day....fucker never leaves the place!"

Maybe that's what they're doing.

It's a theory, you'll have to admit, that has to be entertained.

 

It did cross my mind, Jiggs. But ask yourself this. If everytime you went into your garden you were confronted with the view of a wildly gesticulating and gelatinous, furious red-faced man glaring at you through steamy windows, wouldn't you spend more time inside your fucking house than out?

[Jiggerycock]

8 minutes ago, Decimus said:

It did cross my mind, Jiggs. But ask yourself this. If everytime you went into your garden you were confronted with the view of a wildly gesticulating and gelatinous, furious red-faced man glaring at you through steamy windows, wouldn't you spend more time inside your fucking house than out?

Fair point - although I must admit I'm a bit hazy about what passes for entertainment in Norfolk at the best of times, never mind during lockdown

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway.

There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam.

Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts.

 

Why don't you do the 'murdered by strangulation' trick? You stand in front of the window and make out you're being  murdered by a person unseen. 

Better still, give me your address and I'll come round and murder you myself!😆

[ChildeHarold]

It could be worse. I had a neighbour who once a week climbed a high tree in the back garden where he he sat for hours watching everybody. We used to say, "He's up the tree again!". Row with the wife? 

[ChildeHarold]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway.

There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam.

Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts.

 

Quite an anti-social little bastard aren't you? 

[Cuntybaws]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Unless you're a porch monkey...

 

[Eric Cuntman]

50 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

 

"My grandmother did once refer to a broken bottle as a 'nigga knife'."

Fucking superb.

[Neil]

Grannies,don't you just love 'em. Dear 'ol Mabel used to clock a tanned one and say "Fuck me,another shit skin" God rest her racist soul.

[ChildeHarold]

29 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

"My grandmother did once refer to a broken bottle as a 'nigga knife'."

Fucking superb.

Fooking racist. 

[ChildeHarold]

3 minutes ago, Neil said:

Grannies,don't you just love 'em. Dear 'ol Mabel used to clock a tanned one and say "Fuck me,another shit skin" God rest her racist soul.

Sounds like the old grannie who lived in a smelly shoe. 

[White Cunt]

3 hours ago, Decimus said:

Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway.

There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam.

Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts.

 

This is not a good sign, Decs. I have a demented old commie slag next door, who is regularly patrolling the garden as if anyone wanted to break into her decrepit hovel and steal anything of value. When not poking around her utter shithole property, she does internal drilling and excavating. She is totally fucking crazy, everyone on my street avoids her like the plague, the house and the garage are a wreck, god knows what it’s like inside now. 
Before the cunt moved in twenty years ago, the place was really nice and was occupied by a pleasant couple.

To surmise: there is the chance you have some nutters moved in.

The little touch: she regularly flies the EU flag for some reason.🇪🇺

 

 

 

[Guest Weary&Disgusted]

34 minutes ago, White Cunt said:

This is not a good sign, Decs. I have a demented old commie slag next door, who is regularly patrolling the garden as if anyone wanted to break into her decrepit hovel and steal anything of value. When not poking around her utter shithole property, she does internal drilling and excavating. She is totally fucking crazy, everyone on my street avoids her like the plague, the house and the garage are a wreck, god knows what it’s like inside now. 
Before the cunt moved in twenty years ago, the place was really nice and was occupied by a pleasant couple.

To surmise: there is the chance you have some nutters moved in.

The little touch: she regularly flies the EU flag for some reason.🇪🇺

 

 

 

She is secretly digging an underground tunnel to France to keep her stock of Gauloises topped up, and obviously, to conspire with the foreigners for nefarious purposes.  

[White Cunt]

1 minute ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

She is secretly digging an underground tunnel to France to keep her stock of Gauloises topped up, and obviously, to conspire with the foreigners for nefarious purposes.  

You are implying knowledge of foreign fag brands. I assure you her brand awareness doesn’t stretch beyond Primark and Tesco.

[Witheredscrote]

4 hours ago, Decimus said:

Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway.

There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam.

Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts.

 

I can imagine that your long suffering neighbours yearn for the day when you are hanging around outside your Barratt Box ALL day, from the guttering, by your neck tie. lol fucking lol

[Decimus]

44 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

I can imagine that your long suffering neighbours yearn for the day when you are hanging around outside your Barratt Box ALL day, from the guttering, by your neck tie. lol fucking lol

Withers, as I get older, it's the little things that tend to enrage me. Five or six years ago, I'd have been ogling said neighbour's tits and flexing my pasty, pigeon chest out of the window instead of getting angry.

Just the other day, she leaned down and exposed a perfectly formed camel toe, which didn't excite me at all. Instead I was furious, all I could think about was that she should have bent from the knees. I might do a nom on it, stupid fucking cunts who don't bend from the knees.

Get fucked.

 

[camberwell gypsy]

3 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

It could be worse. I had a neighbour who once a week climbed a high tree in the back garden where he he sat for hours watching everybody. We used to say, "He's up the tree again!". Row with the wife? 

Frank!

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, White Cunt said:

This is not a good sign, Decs. I have a demented old commie slag next door, who is regularly patrolling the garden as if anyone wanted to break into her decrepit hovel and steal anything of value. When not poking around her utter shithole property, she does internal drilling and excavating. She is totally fucking crazy, everyone on my street avoids her like the plague, the house and the garage are a wreck, god knows what it’s like inside now. 
Before the cunt moved in twenty years ago, the place was really nice and was occupied by a pleasant couple.

To surmise: there is the chance you have some nutters moved in.

The little touch: she regularly flies the EU flag for some reason.🇪🇺

 

 

 

I thought that was me you were describing until I got to the EU flag bit. I'm not that fucking mad. 

[camberwell gypsy]

5 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Withers, as I get older, it's the little things that tend to enrage me. Five or six years ago, I'd have been ogling said neighbour's tits and flexing my pasty, pigeon chest out of the window instead of getting angry.

Just the other day, she leaned down and exposed a perfectly formed camel toe. I was furious, all I could think about was that she should have bent from the knees. I might do a nom on it, stupid fucking cunts who don't bend from the knees.

Get fucked.

 

I thought someone already nommed Oscar Pistorius? 

[and]

5 hours ago, Decimus said:

Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway.

There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam.

Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts.

 

Surely a dog bothering twat like you would get enough exercise, if you were looking after your beloved pet the way you should do, you lazy fat cunt.

[Decimus]

17 minutes ago, Joker said:

Surely a dog bothering twat like you would get enough exercise, if you were looking after your beloved pet the way you should do, you lazy fat cunt.

I imagine that your neighbours are just as bemused with you as I am with mine.

"'ere, Pat, wotz this cunt upto? He's always out in 'is garden on 'is 'ands and knees with 'is 'ooter pressed to the grass"

"That's that R-Soles fella, Kev. He's probably out there truffle hunting for dog, cat, hedgehog and fox shit, int he."

You strange little cunt.

 

[King Billy]

4 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

It could be worse. I had a neighbour who once a week climbed a high tree in the back garden where he he sat for hours watching everybody. We used to say, "He's up the tree again!". Row with the wife? 

I imagine all of your kinfolk and neighbours live in trees you fucking chimp.

[ChildeHarold]

Just now, King Billy said:

I imagine all of your kinfolk and neighbours live in trees you fucking chimp.

Got ya! #2

[ChildeHarold]

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Frank!

He was called Mr Wild. Really....