Hammer of Cunts Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 20 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I watch telly. But only archived stuff on the internet. I honestly can’t bear the shit that’s being churned out and labelled as entertainment currently. There are a plethora of tv series, films etc from the 60s through to yesterday. Some things that I never saw at the time. And some things that I’ve forgotten sufficiently to warrant revisiting. I’d much rather watch Blake’s 7 than Blacks heaven. I can just see you, slumped in your Parker-Knoll recliner, gorging on Watney's and Twiglets, watching Mind Your Language and Love Thy Neighbour on BNPTV. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 48 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Only slightly worse than that weird group of - usually ostentatiously middle class twats - who, when the subject of a recent TV Drama or news item gets brought up over the Le Creuset, stare blankly at you for a few seconds before they tell you they haven’t watched TV since the Moon Landing as it rots the mind. They, and their snot-nosed kids, apparently spend their evenings playing musical instruments, reading, completing elaborate puzzles and exercising. A night in front of the box, I remember one Tiger Mum telling me once, was “self abuse” and a “missed opportunity”. It is of course all about signalling to the group how advanced they are in comparison to the fat proles who are at their most comfortable vegging out. I believe the modern equivalent is to drone on about the effects of screen time. Cunts. These are the same cunts who spend their entire waking moment working or being "productive" in some other way. They tend to have nice houses and multiple cars on the drive, but they're never actually there to enjoy any of it and when they finally retire they don't tend to last very long. A worrying amount of them die behind the wheels of camper vans the moment they try to experience any kind of freedom - the shock to the system of no longer living on a schedule literally kills them. Just ask the history of any camper van from the late 90s to now - I guarantee the original owner is dead and the family is flogging it on the cheap because they're also all too busy to ever use it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 14 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I feel like that. I genuinely can’t abide even my own relatives. My sister is a stupid fucking cunt and my mum is a gibbering spastic who would honestly be better off dead. I fucking hate the whole of humanity deeply and passionately. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share that. I know what you mean. My old man Mitch, who sadly has been suffering with Parkinson's (stage 4) for the past three years, is unbearable. His recent Bobby Darin karaoke video might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 25 minutes ago, Frank said: I know what you mean. My old man Mitch, who sadly has been suffering with Parkinson's (stage 4) for the past three years, is unbearable. His recent Bobby Darin karaoke video might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. Was here more proud of you before or after his illness, Francis? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Hammer of Cunts said: I can just see you, slumped in your Parker-Knoll recliner, gorging on Watney's and Twiglets, watching Mind Your Language and Love Thy Neighbour on BNPTV. Fuck’s wrong with that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 1 minute ago, Dyslexic cnut said: Was here more proud of you before or after his illness, Francis? He never quite recovered from Christmas 1982. He asked what Frank wanted as a present and the little fella asked for a pair of leg warmers and the ‘Kids From Fame’ LP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 39 minutes ago, Frank said: I know what you mean. My old man Mitch, who sadly has been suffering with Parkinson's (stage 4) for the past three years, is unbearable. His recent Bobby Darin karaoke video might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. You have my sympathy, but it surely AIDS his masturbation. Can you confirm or deny? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 13 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said: Fuck’s wrong with that? Absolutely nowt lad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 23, 2022 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Frank said: I know what you mean. My old man Mitch, who sadly has been suffering with Parkinson's (stage 4) for the past three years, is unbearable. His recent Bobby Darin karaoke video might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. Sorry to hear this, Frank. Just try and remember the good times, the old bastard was an absolute phenomenon during his prime 🙏 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Frank said: I know what you mean. My old man Mitch, who sadly has been suffering with Parkinson's (stage 4) for the past three years, is unbearable. His recent Bobby Darin karaoke video might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. Maybe he should do a Shakin' Stevens song? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted October 23, 2022 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Neil said: Maybe he should do a Shakin' Stevens song? "Saw an eyeball peepin' through a smoky cloud Behind the green door (glory hole)" . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 9 minutes ago, Decimus said: "Saw an eyeball peepin' through a smoky cloud Behind the green door (glory hole)" . 🎵he tried to make him take up boxing. Frank said no-no-no🎵 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 21 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: 🎵he tried to make him take up boxing. Frank said no-no-no🎵 🎶Spunk dries on it's own🎶 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: 🎵he tried to make him take up boxing. Frank said no-no-no🎵 He probably gets haunted by the ghost of Ming every night singing 🎵Fwankie, do you wemember me. 🎵 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 14 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: He probably gets haunted by the ghost of Ming every night singing 🎵Fwankie, do you wemember me. 🎵 ‘Weekend At Bernie’s’, daft old cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 48 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: ‘Weekend At Bernie’s’, daft old cunt. Hi Eric - are you ready for Halloween? 🎃 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 6 minutes ago, ProfB said: Hi Eric - are you ready for Halloween? 🎃 Yes. I’ve finished pushing rusty fish hooks into the toffee apples. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted October 23, 2022 Report Share Posted October 23, 2022 6 hours ago, Frank said: I know what you mean. My old man Mitch, who sadly has been suffering with Parkinson's (stage 4) for the past three years, is unbearable. His recent Bobby Darin karaoke video might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. I bet he’s got ‘attending your funeral’ at the top of his bucket list. You know what to do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 On 22/10/2022 at 20:32, Decimus said: or a full time carer for some spastic who can't wipe their own arse Don't knock it until you've tried it, mate. For the princely sum of a ton a week i get the pleasure of leaving the Judge in a soiled nappy pleading for a change. I then outsource the job to a Ugandan illegal for a tenner. Sure I have to put up with him curtain twitching with the binoculars in the summer and a few trips to Bargain Booze, but you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 5 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: Don't knock it until you've tried it, mate. For the princely sum of a ton a week i get the pleasure of leaving the Judge in a soiled nappy pleading for a change. I then outsource the job to a Ugandan illegal for a tenner. Sure I have to put up with him curtain twitching with the binoculars in the summer and a few trips to Bargain Booze, but you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. You don't pull the wool over my eyes - you live with your Mam & daren't date a girl (or boy for that matter). Curl up and die, you cunt wagon without an handbrake. Major - your willy is teeny. Mrs Roots should ban you for not having sufficient man meat. Gonna tell her about you (reporting your small willy & void personality), so you better start praying. Love ProfB XXX 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 54 minutes ago, ProfB said: Curl up and die, you cunt wagon without an handbrake. Unlike your Eddie Stobbart wagon, eh, Prof? I bet you smudged your lipstick whilst tapping out that little tirade on the M1. I'm interested to know exactly what I've done to get under your anchor tattooed skin though... Start making me laugh or I'll have you dancing like Buffalo Bill ala Silence Of The Lambs sharpish! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted October 24, 2022 Report Share Posted October 24, 2022 45 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: Unlike your Eddie Stobbart wagon, eh, Prof? I bet you smudged your lipstick whilst tapping out that little tirade on the M1. I'm interested to know exactly what I've done to get under your anchor tattooed skin though... Start making me laugh or I'll have you dancing like Buffalo Bill ala Silence Of The Lambs sharpish! Evening Major. Good to see you back. I’m assuming your absence has been due to an all inclusive stay at the Bangkok Hilton or some other exclusive establishment. I hope you didn’t encounter too much difficulty checking out prematurely. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackoTC Posted October 25, 2022 Report Share Posted October 25, 2022 On 23/10/2022 at 13:32, Frank said: I know what you mean. My old man Mitch, who sadly has been suffering with Parkinson's (stage 4) for the past three years, is unbearable. His recent Bobby Darin karaoke video might be the funniest thing I've ever seen. That was beneath you. Red Rooms, Connaught 7pm Friday ? I’ll save you a chaise. You bring the grapes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted October 25, 2022 Report Share Posted October 25, 2022 10 hours ago, JackoTC said: That was beneath you A ridiculous statement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackoTC Posted October 26, 2022 Report Share Posted October 26, 2022 16 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: A ridiculous statement. You could be right Ekkers. He's produced nothing of worth in a long while. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't disappointed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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