50th birthdays

[Guest N/A]

What the fuck is there to celebrate on your 50th birthday ...???   Being a miserable old cunt, too old to even look at a woman or think about having  sex without appearing a fucking perv, too old to go out at weekends, too old to drink regularly with your mates, too old to play sport to any level, too old to learn anything new, too old to drive a sports car without looking a cunt, especially a soft top, too old to lark about and have a laugh, too old to have kids, too old to eat anything good without worrying about putting on 6 pounds or dying of cancer from eating it, too old to do anything for the first time, too old still think you can change the world, too old to work a phone properly, too old to work but you have to until you are fuckin 68 now, too fucking old.   

Anyone at 50 still doing any of the above looks a cunt and is a cunt.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Speak for yourself you bitter, impotent, worthless cunt!  My pensioners rugby team plays twice a week, and we go out on the piss twice a month.  The fit young birds in their tight exercise apparel have often earned them a stiff one up the wrong un.  

Fuck off.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Speak for yourself you bitter, impotent, worthless cunt!  My pensioners rugby team plays twice a week, and we go out on the piss twice a month.  The fit young birds in their tight exercise apparel have often earned them a stiff one up the wrong un.  

Fuck off.

Too right, if you act old you will get old. The younger lot are jealous because we are better and more experienced at most things. I refuse to be told by other people how I should act, especially young whipper snappers who dont have a fucking clue what they are doing.

[Guest nobgobbler]

6 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

What the fuck is there to celebrate on your 50th birthday ...???   Being a miserable old cunt, too old to even look at a woman or think about having  sex without appearing a fucking perv, too old to go out at weekends, too old to drink regularly with your mates, too old to play sport to any level, too old to learn anything new, too old to drive a sports car without looking a cunt, especially a soft top, too old to lark about and have a laugh, too old to have kids, too old to eat anything good without worrying about putting on 6 pounds or dying of cancer from eating it, too old to do anything for the first time, too old still think you can change the world, too old to work a phone properly, too old to work but you have to until you are fuckin 68 now, too fucking old.   

Anyone at 50 still doing any of the above looks a cunt and is a cunt.

Old cunt.

 

[colonelkurtz]

All I can say is that there Ronald Trump King of muurrrica , who is over 50 I think , is always well turned out , doesn't look or talk like a complete bell end and definitely won't smell of piss.
 

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

9 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

What the fuck is there to celebrate on your 50th birthday ...???   Being a miserable old cunt, too old to even look at a woman or think about having  sex without appearing a fucking perv, too old to go out at weekends, too old to drink regularly with your mates, too old to play sport to any level, too old to learn anything new, too old to drive a sports car without looking a cunt, especially a soft top, too old to lark about and have a laugh, too old to have kids, too old to eat anything good without worrying about putting on 6 pounds or dying of cancer from eating it, too old to do anything for the first time, too old still think you can change the world, too old to work a phone properly, too old to work but you have to until you are fuckin 68 now, too fucking old.   

Anyone at 50 still doing any of the above looks a cunt and is a cunt.

What the fuck is this shit? Can't look at a woman ... can't have a laugh... can't work a phone? Have you had some sort of awful accident and lost your cock and balls, plus got brain damaged? I will not be 50 for 9 years, but when I am, I will definately still be a drunken pervert. Fucking catch a grip you stupid cunt, 50 year old Cunts can do whatever they like.

It's not being 50, it's you, being a useless whinging fuck stick. Fuck off.

[Cuntybaws]

9 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Anyone at 50 still doing any of the above looks a cunt and is a cunt.

Except for the "having kids" part (I'll give you that one) anyone at 50 NOT doing all of the above has wasted their first fifty years and doesn't deserve any more time on this planet.

[Neil]

And if you're still doing most of the above at 60 the chances are you'll still being doing them at 70......life's too short pal,if you're that bitter then leave me your cash and bungee jump off a cliff with no rope yer fucking grinch

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

1 minute ago, Neil said:

And if you're still doing most of the above at 60 the chances are you'll still being doing them at 70......life's too short pal,if you're that bitter then leave me your cash and bungee jump off a cliff with no rope yer fucking grinch

Is there room for wanking at 60 or 70?

[Ape™️]

9 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

What the fuck is there to celebrate on your 50th birthday ...???   Being a miserable old cunt, too old to even look at a woman or think about having  sex without appearing a fucking perv, too old to go out at weekends, too old to drink regularly with your mates, too old to play sport to any level, too old to learn anything new, too old to drive a sports car without looking a cunt, especially a soft top, too old to lark about and have a laugh, too old to have kids, too old to eat anything good without worrying about putting on 6 pounds or dying of cancer from eating it, too old to do anything for the first time, too old still think you can change the world, too old to work a phone properly, too old to work but you have to until you are fuckin 68 now, too fucking old.   

Anyone at 50 still doing any of the above looks a cunt and is a cunt.

You miserable, pathetic fucking wanker. Kill yourself. I, on the other hand, will continue to enjoy life, love, health and wealth at the ripe old age of 51. 

[Decimus]

9 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

What the fuck is there to celebrate on your 50th birthday ...???   Being a miserable old cunt, too old to even look at a woman or think about having  sex without appearing a fucking perv, too old to go out at weekends, too old to drink regularly with your mates, too old to play sport to any level, too old to learn anything new, too old to drive a sports car without looking a cunt, especially a soft top, too old to lark about and have a laugh, too old to have kids, too old to eat anything good without worrying about putting on 6 pounds or dying of cancer from eating it, too old to do anything for the first time, too old still think you can change the world, too old to work a phone properly, too old to work but you have to until you are fuckin 68 now, too fucking old.   

Anyone at 50 still doing any of the above looks a cunt and is a cunt.

I don't like old people, they stink of piss.

[Wolfie]

9 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

What the fuck is there to celebrate on your 50th birthday ...???   Being a miserable old cunt, too old to even look at a woman or think about having  sex without appearing a fucking perv, too old to go out at weekends, too old to drink regularly with your mates, too old to play sport to any level, too old to learn anything new, too old to drive a sports car without looking a cunt, especially a soft top, too old to lark about and have a laugh, too old to have kids, too old to eat anything good without worrying about putting on 6 pounds or dying of cancer from eating it, too old to do anything for the first time, too old still think you can change the world, too old to work a phone properly, too old to work but you have to until you are fuckin 68 now, too fucking old.   

Anyone at 50 still doing any of the above looks a cunt and is a cunt.

One therefore hopes you fall way short of your 50th. Idiot.

[Wolfie]

16 minutes ago, Noakes said:

Is there room for wanking at 60 or 70?

Wizardsleeve?

[Guest Manky]

I have been over 50 since I was 50 and fuck all has changed. I still make a cunt of myself but am now mature and confident enough not to give a fuck any more. Life gets better with age.

[Guest Quincy Cockfingers]

10 minutes ago, Manky said:

I have been over 50 since I was 50 and fuck all has changed. I still make a cunt of myself but am now mature and confident enough not to give a fuck any more. Life gets better with age.

I bet you stink of dried shit.

[Guest Piston]

Are they still making that stuff? I remember the TV adds;

"Dried Shit. The mark of a Manc."

 

[Guest Manky]

1 hour ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

I bet you stink of dried shit.

With just a hint of hops and barley.

[Guest Manky]

24 minutes ago, Piston said:

Are they still making that stuff? I remember the TV adds;

"Dried Shit. The mark of a Manc."

 

Jealous curry mechanic knob head.

[nocti]

2 hours ago, Decimus said:

I don't like old people, they stink of piss.

...and malted milk biscuits. The true tried and tested combination of pretty much any old bastard.

[Bubba C]

12 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

What the fuck is there to celebrate on your 50th birthday ...???   Being a miserable old cunt, too old to even look at a woman or think about having  sex without appearing a fucking perv, too old to go out at weekends, too old to drink regularly with your mates, too old to play sport to any level, too old to learn anything new, too old to drive a sports car without looking a cunt, especially a soft top, too old to lark about and have a laugh, too old to have kids, too old to eat anything good without worrying about putting on 6 pounds or dying of cancer from eating it, too old to do anything for the first time, too old still think you can change the world, too old to work a phone properly, too old to work but you have to until you are fuckin 68 now, too fucking old.   

Anyone at 50 still doing any of the above looks a cunt and is a cunt.

Judging by the quality of your grammar and the posts being conjured your seemingly Alzheimer's-ravaged brain, I'd wager that you are in fact about 75 years old, wheelchair ridden, very much alone, and reminiscing about being 50. 

Shit nom from a stupid old cunt. Kill yourself. 

[Roadkill]

3 hours ago, Manky said:

I have been over 50 since I was 50 and fuck all has changed. I still make a cunt of myself but am now mature and confident enough not to give a fuck any more. Life gets better with age.

What were the 80's like? Did you have a mullet?

[Neil]

You know what they say....If you rember the 80's,you weren't really there".............or was that the 20's?,fuck knows I cant remember yesterday

[PANZER MURPHY]

13 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

What the fuck is there to celebrate on your 50th birthday ...???   Being a miserable old cunt, too old to even look at a woman or think about having  sex without appearing a fucking perv, too old to go out at weekends, too old to drink regularly with your mates, too old to play sport to any level, too old to learn anything new, too old to drive a sports car without looking a cunt, especially a soft top, too old to lark about and have a laugh, too old to have kids, too old to eat anything good without worrying about putting on 6 pounds or dying of cancer from eating it, too old to do anything for the first time, too old still think you can change the world, too old to work a phone properly, too old to work but you have to until you are fuckin 68 now, too fucking old.   

Anyone at 50 still doing any of the above looks a cunt and is a cunt.

Fuk you ya aul train wreck..I'll be pumpin iron n tapping arse till they screw the lid down. .just finished plowing a 32 yr ole bird. .kicked her back doors in good. .left er lookin like a paste bucket 

Panzerknacker 

[Stubby Pecker]

12 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

What the fuck is there to celebrate on your 50th birthday ...???   Being a miserable old cunt, too old to even look at a woman or think about having  sex without appearing a fucking perv, too old to go out at weekends, too old to drink regularly with your mates, too old to play sport to any level, too old to learn anything new, too old to drive a sports car without looking a cunt, especially a soft top, too old to lark about and have a laugh, too old to have kids, too old to eat anything good without worrying about putting on 6 pounds or dying of cancer from eating it, too old to do anything for the first time, too old still think you can change the world, too old to work a phone properly, too old to work but you have to until you are fuckin 68 now, too fucking old.   

Anyone at 50 still doing any of the above looks a cunt and is a cunt.

Worst nom of all time. Growing old is inevitable, becoming a total cunt isn't. You, however, are both. Try DIGNITAS, I'm sure we'll all chip in for the flight.

[camberwell gypsy]

1 hour ago, Panzerknacker said:

Fuk you ya aul train wreck..I'll be pumpin iron n tapping arse till they screw the lid down. .just finished plowing a 32 yr ole bird. .kicked her back doors in good. .left er lookin like a paste bucket 

Panzerknacker 

You stud