Decimus Posted April 26, 2019 Report Share Posted April 26, 2019 An hour ago, I was outside chez Decimus having a cigarette and taking in lungfuls of the spring air inbetween gulps of arsenic and carbon monoxide. Within a minute, my reverie was interrupted by some dirty old cunt in one of those orange inner-lined parka's loping along the street screaming "CARRL?! CARRRRRRL?!" Turns out "Carl" is a cat. You couldn't make it up, although I just did. Fuck off. Lololol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted April 26, 2019 Report Share Posted April 26, 2019 Leave the fucking lighter fuel alone,you might end up talking bollocks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 26, 2019 Report Share Posted April 26, 2019 33 minutes ago, Neil said: Leave the fucking lighter fuel alone,you might end up talking bollocks. "Talking Bollocks" is Frank's native American name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted April 26, 2019 Report Share Posted April 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Decimus said: An hour ago, I was outside chez Decimus having a cigarette and taking in lungfuls of the spring air inbetween gulps of arsenic and carbon monoxide. Within a minute, my reverie was interrupted by some dirty old cunt in one of those orange inner-lined parka's loping along the street screaming "CARRL?! CARRRRRRL?!" Turns out "Carl" is a cat. You couldn't make it up, although I just did. Fuck off. Lololol This isn’t up to your usual standard Decs. What with the current crop of foetid, shit thick idiots like pen and betterthanyou clogging up the site, we need some input from reliable sources. I’m getting a little tired of the banal dronings of a naphthalene soaked toot toot enthusiast, countered by the scimitar like witty response of “no, you are.” You can do it. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted April 26, 2019 Report Share Posted April 26, 2019 2 hours ago, Decimus said: An hour ago, I was outside chez Decimus having a cigarette and taking in lungfuls of the spring air inbetween gulps of arsenic and carbon monoxide. Within a minute, my reverie was interrupted by some dirty old cunt in one of those orange inner-lined parka's loping along the street screaming "CARRL?! CARRRRRRL?!" Turns out "Carl" is a cat. You couldn't make it up, although I just did. Fuck off. Lololol Are you quite sure that was your normal brand? Sounds suspiciously stronger than your usual Moroccan Woodbines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted April 26, 2019 Report Share Posted April 26, 2019 Someone cruising around your place of abode looking for pussy? If you don't live in Norwich's red light district I'd be asking what 'er indoors has been up to when you're not there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted April 26, 2019 Report Share Posted April 26, 2019 59 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: "Talking Bollocks" is Frank's native American name. You’ve spelled Tickling wrong there Gypps 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted April 26, 2019 Report Share Posted April 26, 2019 3 hours ago, Decimus said: An hour ago, I was outside chez Decimus having a cigarette and taking in lungfuls of the spring air inbetween gulps of arsenic and carbon monoxide. Within a minute, my reverie was interrupted by some dirty old cunt in one of those orange inner-lined parka's loping along the street screaming "CARRL?! CARRRRRRL?!" Turns out "Carl" is a cat. You couldn't make it up, although I just did. Fuck off. Lololol 3 hours ago, Decimus said: An hour ago, I was outside chez Decimus having a cigarette and taking in lungfuls of the spring air inbetween gulps of arsenic and carbon monoxide. Within a minute, my reverie was interrupted by some dirty old cunt in one of those orange inner-lined parka's loping along the street screaming "CARRL?! CARRRRRRL?!" Turns out "Carl" is a cat. You couldn't make it up, although I just did. Fuck off. Lololol Thanks for that. I’ve always believed that you can never have too much information. Turns out I was wrong. Fuck it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 Was it a woodie, park drive or a number six that you were smoking? Get Fucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 35 minutes ago, The Guard said: Was it a woodie, park drive or a number six that you were smoking? Get Fucked. Senior Service Navy Cut You Go get fucked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 He was smoking a 'trombone'. Now leave the queerboy, mincer alone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 At the end of the movie " Contact " as Jodie Foster stares out into the vast starry abyss " For Carl " pops up on screen just before the final credits. I had always assumed it was for that fucker Sagan not an imaginary cat and will continue to do so. Good Day to you Sir.. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 31 minutes ago, King Billy said: Senior Service Navy Cut You Go get fucked PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO ANY OF MY POSTS UNLESS I HAVE GIVEN YOU PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION TO DO SO. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 8 minutes ago, The Guard said: PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO ANY OF MY POSTS UNLESS I HAVE GIVEN YOU PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION TO DO SO. Good morning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 27, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 16 hours ago, southerncunt said: This isn’t up to your usual standard Decs. What with the current crop of foetid, shit thick idiots like pen and betterthanyou clogging up the site, we need some input from reliable sources. I’m getting a little tired of the banal dronings of a naphthalene soaked toot toot enthusiast, countered by the scimitar like witty response of “no, you are.” You can do it. I apologise, Southern, you are of course correct. In my defence, the nomination was intended to be satirical by mimicking the absolute fucking bilge being pumped out by The Guard on a minute by minute basis. Bizarelly, Frank, in a rare moment of lucid thought, seemed to have recognised what I was upto. Nominations like "Carl" seem to be the way we are heading. Painfully unfunny, lonely people pointing out the mundane with no humour, and if you're lucky, a link to a news website. Whilst I can't see what Pen posts whilst logged in, unfortunately I can see it when I'm offline. And so can any prospective newbie. Tell me, any of you, would you have signed up when you did if you first browsed the site and all you saw was page after page of The Guard's awful shit smeared in these hallowed halls? Because I know I wouldn't have done four and a half years ago. Again, I urge everyone to block it and starve it of oxygen because at this rate it's getting beyond a mere annoyance, it's actively stopping quality new members joining. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 22 minutes ago, Decimus said: I apologise, Southern, you are of course correct. In my defence, the nomination was intended to be satirical by mimicking the absolute fucking bilge being pumped out by The Guard on a minute by minute basis. Bizarelly, Frank, in a rare moment of lucid thought, seemed to have recognised what I was upto. Nominations like "Carl" seem to be the way we are heading. Painfully unfunny, lonely people pointing out the mundane with no humour, and if you're lucky, a link to a news website. Whilst I can't see what Pen posts whilst logged in, unfortunately I can see it when I'm offline. And so can any prospective newbie. Tell me, any of you, would you have signed up when you did if you first browsed the site and all you saw was page after page of The Guard's awful shit smeared in these hallowed halls? Because I know I wouldn't have done four and a half years ago. Again, I urge everyone to block it and starve it of oxygen because at this rate it's getting beyond a mere annoyance, it's actively stopping quality new members joining. The site has turned to shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 46 minutes ago, Decimus said: Again, I urge everyone to block it and starve it of oxygen because at this rate it's getting beyond a mere annoyance, it's actively stopping quality new members joining. Carl is your nomination not mine nor does it resemble any nomination that I would post. Could I also request that you do not send me any further PMs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 49 minutes ago, The Guard said: Carl is your nomination not mine nor does it resemble any nomination that I would post. Could I also request that you do not send me any further PMs. No, even Carl is streets ahead of the utter fucking shite that pours from you. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 27, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 48 minutes ago, Ape said: No, even Carl is streets ahead of the utter fucking shite that pours from you. Fuck off. I genuinely can't think of a worst member in all the time that I've been here. Pen makes me yearn for Delboy, Profb and Snatch, which is the most damning indictment of another member I've ever given, and that includes calling Frank the Les Dennis of Cunts Corner. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 11 minutes ago, Decimus said: I genuinely can't think of a worse member in all the time that I've been here. Luckily for you, the 1000+ nominations about trains and random English towns and villages on the old site were before your time. This is a fucking golden age by comparison. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 10 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Luckily for you, the 1000+ nominations about trains and random English towns and villages on the old site were before your time. This is a fucking golden age by comparison. Golden, like piss. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Getfucked_YOU_CUNT! Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 Fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 4 hours ago, The Guard said: Carl is your nomination not mine nor does it resemble any nomination that I would post. Could I also request that you do not send me any further PMs. There's a general agreement here by the longstanding punters that the drivel you spout on an almost 24/7 basis is counter to this sites SOPs. Anyone else would have been binned years ago, yet your shite continues unabated without censure from admin. Try a few days off and come back with a better attitde. Failing that, die in a horrendously painful way. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 23 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: "Talking Bollocks" is Frank's native American name. I thought it was "Bath house bummer!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 Bye for a few days. Got a train to catch in the morning and then a sailing from Holyhead to Dublin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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