Decimus Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway. There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam. Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 Maybe they're pointing at you? Maybe, when they do go back inside, they go 'Fuck me, state of that rotund cunt over there, sweating like a nonce in a prison riot every day. His room must stink to buggery - he's in there 3 hours a day....fucker never leaves the place!" Maybe that's what they're doing. It's a theory, you'll have to admit, that has to be entertained. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 25, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 21 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: Maybe they're pointing at you? Maybe, when they do go back inside, they go 'Fuck me, state of that rotund cunt over there, sweating like a nonce in a prison riot every day. His room must stink to buggery - he's in there 3 hours a day....fucker never leaves the place!" Maybe that's what they're doing. It's a theory, you'll have to admit, that has to be entertained. It did cross my mind, Jiggs. But ask yourself this. If everytime you went into your garden you were confronted with the view of a wildly gesticulating and gelatinous, furious red-faced man glaring at you through steamy windows, wouldn't you spend more time inside your fucking house than out? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 8 minutes ago, Decimus said: It did cross my mind, Jiggs. But ask yourself this. If everytime you went into your garden you were confronted with the view of a wildly gesticulating and gelatinous, furious red-faced man glaring at you through steamy windows, wouldn't you spend more time inside your fucking house than out? Fair point - although I must admit I'm a bit hazy about what passes for entertainment in Norfolk at the best of times, never mind during lockdown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway. There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam. Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts. Why don't you do the 'murdered by strangulation' trick? You stand in front of the window and make out you're being murdered by a person unseen. Better still, give me your address and I'll come round and murder you myself!😆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 It could be worse. I had a neighbour who once a week climbed a high tree in the back garden where he he sat for hours watching everybody. We used to say, "He's up the tree again!". Row with the wife? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway. There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam. Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts. Quite an anti-social little bastard aren't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a porch monkey... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 50 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: "My grandmother did once refer to a broken bottle as a 'nigga knife'." Fucking superb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 Grannies,don't you just love 'em. Dear 'ol Mabel used to clock a tanned one and say "Fuck me,another shit skin" God rest her racist soul. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 29 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: "My grandmother did once refer to a broken bottle as a 'nigga knife'." Fucking superb. Fooking racist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 3 minutes ago, Neil said: Grannies,don't you just love 'em. Dear 'ol Mabel used to clock a tanned one and say "Fuck me,another shit skin" God rest her racist soul. Sounds like the old grannie who lived in a smelly shoe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 3 hours ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway. There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam. Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts. This is not a good sign, Decs. I have a demented old commie slag next door, who is regularly patrolling the garden as if anyone wanted to break into her decrepit hovel and steal anything of value. When not poking around her utter shithole property, she does internal drilling and excavating. She is totally fucking crazy, everyone on my street avoids her like the plague, the house and the garage are a wreck, god knows what it’s like inside now. Before the cunt moved in twenty years ago, the place was really nice and was occupied by a pleasant couple. To surmise: there is the chance you have some nutters moved in. The little touch: she regularly flies the EU flag for some reason.🇪🇺 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Weary&Disgusted Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 34 minutes ago, White Cunt said: This is not a good sign, Decs. I have a demented old commie slag next door, who is regularly patrolling the garden as if anyone wanted to break into her decrepit hovel and steal anything of value. When not poking around her utter shithole property, she does internal drilling and excavating. She is totally fucking crazy, everyone on my street avoids her like the plague, the house and the garage are a wreck, god knows what it’s like inside now. Before the cunt moved in twenty years ago, the place was really nice and was occupied by a pleasant couple. To surmise: there is the chance you have some nutters moved in. The little touch: she regularly flies the EU flag for some reason.🇪🇺 She is secretly digging an underground tunnel to France to keep her stock of Gauloises topped up, and obviously, to conspire with the foreigners for nefarious purposes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 1 minute ago, Weary&Disgusted said: She is secretly digging an underground tunnel to France to keep her stock of Gauloises topped up, and obviously, to conspire with the foreigners for nefarious purposes. You are implying knowledge of foreign fag brands. I assure you her brand awareness doesn’t stretch beyond Primark and Tesco. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 4 hours ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway. There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam. Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts. I can imagine that your long suffering neighbours yearn for the day when you are hanging around outside your Barratt Box ALL day, from the guttering, by your neck tie. lol fucking lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 25, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 44 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: I can imagine that your long suffering neighbours yearn for the day when you are hanging around outside your Barratt Box ALL day, from the guttering, by your neck tie. lol fucking lol Withers, as I get older, it's the little things that tend to enrage me. Five or six years ago, I'd have been ogling said neighbour's tits and flexing my pasty, pigeon chest out of the window instead of getting angry. Just the other day, she leaned down and exposed a perfectly formed camel toe, which didn't excite me at all. Instead I was furious, all I could think about was that she should have bent from the knees. I might do a nom on it, stupid fucking cunts who don't bend from the knees. Get fucked. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 3 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: It could be worse. I had a neighbour who once a week climbed a high tree in the back garden where he he sat for hours watching everybody. We used to say, "He's up the tree again!". Row with the wife? Frank! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 1 hour ago, White Cunt said: This is not a good sign, Decs. I have a demented old commie slag next door, who is regularly patrolling the garden as if anyone wanted to break into her decrepit hovel and steal anything of value. When not poking around her utter shithole property, she does internal drilling and excavating. She is totally fucking crazy, everyone on my street avoids her like the plague, the house and the garage are a wreck, god knows what it’s like inside now. Before the cunt moved in twenty years ago, the place was really nice and was occupied by a pleasant couple. To surmise: there is the chance you have some nutters moved in. The little touch: she regularly flies the EU flag for some reason.🇪🇺 I thought that was me you were describing until I got to the EU flag bit. I'm not that fucking mad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 5 minutes ago, Decimus said: Withers, as I get older, it's the little things that tend to enrage me. Five or six years ago, I'd have been ogling said neighbour's tits and flexing my pasty, pigeon chest out of the window instead of getting angry. Just the other day, she leaned down and exposed a perfectly formed camel toe. I was furious, all I could think about was that she should have bent from the knees. I might do a nom on it, stupid fucking cunts who don't bend from the knees. Get fucked. I thought someone already nommed Oscar Pistorius? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 5 hours ago, Decimus said: Unless you're a porch monkey in the antebellum Deep South, with a rocking chair and a gun, there is absolutely no fucking reason why you should spend up to 30 percent of your day outside of your house loitering in the garden or driveway. There is a detached house 40 metres to the rear of my garden where the cunts do exactly that. I'm currently on a health kick and have been doing a few hours exercise each day in a back room of the house which I've converted into a lockdown gym. The room looks over the house to the rear, and every time I'm on the treadmill or sat on my bike, I'll look up to see the fucking woman neighbour in her garden gawping and pointing at a wall or the shed. It's hotter than Frankboy's hooky bin in my room, so I refuse to close the curtains or shut the window, which means I have to spend hours each day getting steadily more enraged by these weird fucking cunts. They are literally there everytime I look out the window, or in their stupid fucking car reversing and driving it onto their driveway ad nauseam. Call me old fashioned, but if you buy a house, you should occasionally go inside it, instead of lurking outside at all hours of the fucking day pointing at things. Inbred cunts. Surely a dog bothering twat like you would get enough exercise, if you were looking after your beloved pet the way you should do, you lazy fat cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 25, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 17 minutes ago, Joker said: Surely a dog bothering twat like you would get enough exercise, if you were looking after your beloved pet the way you should do, you lazy fat cunt. I imagine that your neighbours are just as bemused with you as I am with mine. "'ere, Pat, wotz this cunt upto? He's always out in 'is garden on 'is 'ands and knees with 'is 'ooter pressed to the grass" "That's that R-Soles fella, Kev. He's probably out there truffle hunting for dog, cat, hedgehog and fox shit, int he." You strange little cunt. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 4 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: It could be worse. I had a neighbour who once a week climbed a high tree in the back garden where he he sat for hours watching everybody. We used to say, "He's up the tree again!". Row with the wife? I imagine all of your kinfolk and neighbours live in trees you fucking chimp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 Just now, King Billy said: I imagine all of your kinfolk and neighbours live in trees you fucking chimp. Got ya! #2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted February 25, 2021 Report Share Posted February 25, 2021 1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said: Frank! He was called Mr Wild. Really.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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