Stubby Pecker Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 5 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Thanks. Today I replaced the bottom entry inlet valve on my toilet cistern. I might celebrate that with a drink tonight now that I can flush my shit away again. You really are quite the DIY enthusiast. When the entire county of Gloucestershire was without water in the summer of 2007 due to the flooding, I used to go into the woods for a dump, a habit I still do to this day. Usually out of choice I fucking hate DIY. I’m ok with making concrete, walls, chainsawing and smashing the shite out of things with a sledgehammer but fixing a boiler or plumbing Ive not the patience nor intelligence for Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 7 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: You really are quite the DIY enthusiast. When the entire county of Gloucestershire was without water in the summer of 2007 due to the flooding, I used to go into the woods for a dump, a habit I still do to this day. Usually out of choice I fucking hate DIY. I’m ok with making concrete, walls, chainsawing and smashing the shite out of things with a sledgehammer but fixing a boiler or plumbing Ive not the patience nor intelligence for Do you use bog roll when shitting in the woods or do you just let it air dry. You might be providing useful alternatives if we go into lockdown 4 and stupid cunts start hoarding bog roll again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 14 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Do you use bog roll when shitting in the woods or do you just let it air dry. You might be providing useful alternatives if we go into lockdown 4 and stupid cunts start hoarding bog roll again. Depends. Springtime there’s plenty of wild garlic and in summer, foxglove leaves. Neither absorbs shite in anyway at all, however so shitty pants is the drill when I decide (urgently fucking need) to take a wild one As for the impending bog roll shortage, I couldn’t give a wank what a thicko do. I’ll either wash my shitty arse in the pond or if it’s frozen, waddle over the field to the brook. Just like you Norfolk folk do all year round Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 On 30/11/2021 at 19:38, Cunty BigBollox said: In my old house I had one of the infamous Potterton Suprima 50SP that had the PCB with the dry solder joints which resulted in undiagnosable problems. Potterton sent me a replacement PCB but the cunts said I would have to arrange fitting myself. Fuck that, so one Saturday morning armed with a screwdriver and a mobile phone to take pictures of where all the wires and tubes go, I set to work. A couple of hours later it was working again and carried on working for the next 7 years. I'm either fucking brilliant or these heating engineers are taking the piss. You tedious, self-congratulatory dickhead. Shove your soldering iron up your fucking arse. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 On 30/11/2021 at 16:37, Cillian Murphy said: Who charge £145.00 + VAT...per hour plus parts. to fix a tiny problem on a gas boiler for a 81 year old lady. The old dear over the road couldnt get her pilot light to work after the wind blew it out. I had a look and I couldnt get it to light. She phoned xxxxxxx company and the above prices are what they quoted. THIEVING CUNTS. So, I phoned a friend (GasSafe and all that malarchy) He changed a thermo coupler/nozzle or some gas boiler shit, flushed her rads through and fucked off before she could pay him. So, I nominate all Heating Engineers...I could nominate the name of the company, but there are legal implifcations (sp) We SPINSTERs get taken advantage of - she should've kicked him in the bollox & GOGGLED. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 14 hours ago, Eddie said: What a fucking bellend, he actually stated that all of his engineers must be smartly turned out You’ve spelled turfed wrong there Ed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 On 30/11/2021 at 16:37, Cillian Murphy said: Who charge £145.00 + VAT...per hour plus parts. to fix a tiny problem on a gas boiler for a 81 year old lady. Wayne Rooney probably, when he’s moonlighting. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 58 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: . When the entire county of Gloucestershire was without water in the summer of 2007 due to the flooding, Water shortages due to flooding are the worst kind. Ask anyone who lives in the Sahara Desert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 17 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: . Shove your soldering iron up your fucking arse. ‘Go flux yourself’ in other words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 22 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: You tedious, self-congratulatory dickhead. Shove your soldering iron up your fucking arse. Imagine the fucking state of his old "infamous Potterton" after Drew had a go at it with his soldering iron. I haven't used one since school, but I do recall that you need a fairly steady hand to do a decent job with it. What with his crippling DTs, I'd wager that his boiler ended up looking like the fucking T1000 had exploded all over it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 2 minutes ago, King Billy said: Water shortages due to flooding are the worst kind. Ask anyone who lives in the Sahara Desert. Yes smart arsed cunt. Ruptured water pipes and the source contaminated with human shite was the issue. You may well have been raised on such a nutritious drink in Northern Ireland but I’ll pass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 Drew, you've taken an absolute fucking pasting as promised since you got involved with matters above your station. What do you intend to do about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 4 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Yes smart arsed cunt. Ruptured water pipes and the source contaminated with human shite was the issue. You may well have been raised on such a nutritious drink in Northern Ireland but I’ll pass Ahh! Right now Ted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 30 minutes ago, ProfB said: We SPINSTERs get taken advantage of - she should've kicked him in the bollox & GOGGLED. Do spinsters rotate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted December 1, 2021 Report Share Posted December 1, 2021 40 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Do spinsters rotate? ERIC, you are supposed to be a BESTIE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted December 3, 2021 Report Share Posted December 3, 2021 On 30/11/2021 at 19:38, Cunty BigBollox said: In my old house I had one of the infamous Potterton Suprima 50SP that had the PCB with the dry solder joints which resulted in undiagnosable problems. Potterton sent me a replacement PCB but the cunts said I would have to arrange fitting myself. Fuck that, so one Saturday morning armed with a screwdriver and a mobile phone to take pictures of where all the wires and tubes go, I set to work. A couple of hours later it was working again and carried on working for the next 7 years. I'm either fucking brilliant or these heating engineers are taking the piss. As a landlord who rents properties to others with no relevant qualifications, you'd have to fork out to use the services of certified boiler engineers to fulfil legal requirements (via EICRs or similar), which renders your 'money saving' self pat-on-the-back somewhat fucking pointless. Still, I must congraluate you for pulling it off with a naked flame hanging from your mouth while consuming five litres of Strongbow. Fuck off. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted December 3, 2021 Report Share Posted December 3, 2021 7 minutes ago, Wolfie said: As a landlord who rents properties to others with no relevant qualifications, you'd have to fork out to use the services of certified boiler engineers to fulfil legal requirements (via EICRs or similar), which renders your 'money saving' self pat-on-the-back somewhat fucking pointless. Still, I must congraluate you for pulling it off with a naked flame hanging from your mouth while consuming five litres of Strongbow. Fuck off. We call them GasSafe engineers and Landlords Gas Safety Certificates, but what the fuck has it got to do with you anyhow? and besides EICR's or electrical installation condition report is solely used by electrical engineers with the former required annually and the latter every 5 years. Now fuck off child, and make sure you read the entire web page before posting shit about something you know fuck all about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted December 3, 2021 Report Share Posted December 3, 2021 13 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: We call them GasSafe engineers and Landlords Gas Safety Certificates, but what the fuck has it got to do with you anyhow? and besides EICR's or electrical installation condition report is solely used by electrical engineers with the former required annually and the latter every 5 years. Now fuck off child, and make sure you read the entire web page before posting shit about something you know fuck all about. Clearly I've upset you. Still, alcohol – probably much like your Potterton Suprima PCB – shortcircuits the brain. So, did you rent the property within the 7-year period of carrying out the unqualified boiler repairs yourself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 3, 2021 Report Share Posted December 3, 2021 22 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Clearly I've upset you. Still, alcohol – probably much like your Potterton Suprima PCB – shortcircuits the brain. So, did you rent the property within the 7-year period of carrying out the unqualified boiler repairs yourself? As a landlord, Drew should be well aware of his obligation to provide his tenants with an LGSR, although he did seem a bit unsure when he mentioned them in his severely rattled reply to you. Unfortunately, I imagine that the type of people he rents to are usually to be found on the same park benches that he frequents and are far too pissed to be concerned about a bit of carbon monoxide poisoning. Woe betide any of them ever sobers up within the first 28 days of their tenancy and are compos mentis enough to realise that his LGSR consists of a packet of Benson & Hedges with "Drew fixed this" scrawled on the back. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted December 3, 2021 Report Share Posted December 3, 2021 1 hour ago, Decimus said: As a landlord, Drew should be well aware of his obligation to provide his tenants with an LGSR, although he did seem a bit unsure when he mentioned them in his severely rattled reply to you. Unfortunately, I imagine that the type of people he rents to are usually to be found on the same park benches that he frequents and are far too pissed to be concerned about a bit of carbon monoxide poisoning. Woe betide any of them ever sobers up within the first 28 days of their tenancy and are compos mentis enough to realise that his LGSR consists of a packet of Benson & Hedges with "Drew fixed this" scrawled on the back. I've never seen him so angry, so much so I could actually feel him hissing & spitting over the keyboard as he violently stabbed at each key. It's probably the exact way he reacts each time tenants ask to see copies of the latest boiler service paperwork. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cillian Murphy Posted December 3, 2021 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2021 On 30/11/2021 at 19:38, Cunty BigBollox said: In my old house I had one of the infamous Potterton Suprima 50SP that had the PCB with the dry solder joints which resulted in undiagnosable problems. Potterton sent me a replacement PCB but the cunts said I would have to arrange fitting myself. Fuck that, so one Saturday morning armed with a screwdriver and a mobile phone to take pictures of where all the wires and tubes go, I set to work. A couple of hours later it was working again and carried on working for the next 7 years. I'm either fucking brilliant or these heating engineers are taking the piss. Fuck, that has got to be the most boring post ever. Admin you must have a word 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 3, 2021 Report Share Posted December 3, 2021 1 minute ago, Cillian Murphy said: Fuck, that has got to be the most boring post ever. Admin you must have a word I’m sure many will agree with this sentiment, Cillian. I know I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 3, 2021 Report Share Posted December 3, 2021 43 minutes ago, Wolfie said: I've never seen him so angry You did warn him that his ridiculous attempts to intervene in matters above his station would end badly for him. I'm still not sure what was going through his Korsakoff shriveled brain on that day, but I'd wager that he's been regretting it ever since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted December 3, 2021 Report Share Posted December 3, 2021 1 hour ago, Cillian Murphy said: Fuck, that has got to be the most boring post ever. Admin you must have a word Yes, sorry about that but some of us don't live in places which just require an online form to be filled in to get some neanderthal from the council out to replace a washer in the tap. Drip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted December 3, 2021 Report Share Posted December 3, 2021 3 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Yes, sorry about that but some of us don't live in places which just require an online form to be filled in to get some neanderthal from the council out to replace a washer in the tap. Drip. If I were you Drew I’d get straight onto said online form and fire off a few complaint emails to decs and his fucking useless council lackeys. Get the cunt to do some work for a change and send someone round to collect your overflowing recycling bin. All those kestrel super empties could make an F-35 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.