RING doorbell camera cunts.

[Dyslexic cnut]

Whoever invented this intrusive Cunt of a doorbell needs mutilating along with any cunt that misuses them.

I’m sure the intention was ‘home security’ whereby you could see which darkie has burgled your house (via the front door…really?) Or if the DPD/Royal Mail Cunt has actually attempted to deliver whatever unnecessary shite your wife has decided to purchase. But I have two snags with it. Firstly, the chances of a conviction, according to police sources, are highly minimal as the fuckin things seldom record in sufficient detail and accuracy to secure the high level of identification necessary to get past some smart arsed overpaid brief having the flawed evidence being ruled out as ‘inadmissible to secure a guilty verdict.’

Secondly, and far more importantly imho, is the misuse of the said device. It has increasingly being used by cunt wives to prove that their husbands/partners did not, in fact, get in from the ale-house at 1020pm, sober, but rather staggered up to the door at 1155pm, drunk as cunts, and spent fifteen minutes trying to get the key in the door, after taking a much needed Geoff Hurst on the front lawn. 

Before I smashed mine to pieces two weeks ago, I was similarly persecuted by Mrs Cnut with this cunt device and it’s clever way of uploading onto the cloud so that she could rewind and play it back for all perpetuity. She often works for short periods, overseas, and it is one of the few pleasures I had left, bidding her a fond ‘goodbye’ and then having three days of guilt-free, unproveable ale-infused freedom. That ended when I was casually questioned over the phone from some foreign clime, obviously lied like a cheap Chinese watch, only to have her forward video evidence brutally disproving my earlier submission of a ‘quiet night in watching tv.’ A domestic shitstorm not seen since our refugee lived here was duly unleashed.

One cunt of a device I say. (Don’t bother with the ‘Scouse-housebreaker-income-restricting’ gags either, shower of cunts.)
 

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Whoever invented this intrusive Cunt of a doorbell needs mutilating along with any cunt that misuses them.

I’m sure the intention was ‘home security’ whereby you could see which darkie has burgled your house (via the front door…really?) Or if the DPD/Royal Mail Cunt has actually attempted to deliver whatever unnecessary shite your wife has decided to purchase. But I have two snags with it. Firstly, the chances of a conviction, according to police sources, are highly minimal as the fuckin things seldom record in sufficient detail and accuracy to secure the high level of identification necessary to get past some smart arsed overpaid brief having the flawed evidence being ruled out as ‘inadmissible to secure a guilty verdict.’

Secondly, and far more importantly imho, is the misuse of the said device. It has increasingly being used by cunt wives to prove that their husbands/partners did not, in fact, get in from the ale-house at 1020pm, sober, but rather staggered up to the door at 1155pm, drunk as cunts, and spent fifteen minutes trying to get the key in the door, after taking a much needed Geoff Hurst on the front lawn. 

Before I smashed mine to pieces two weeks ago, I was similarly persecuted by Mrs Cnut with this cunt device and it’s clever way of uploading onto the cloud so that she could rewind and play it back for all perpetuity. She often works for short periods, overseas, and it is one of the few pleasures I had left, bidding her a fond ‘goodbye’ and then having three days of guilt-free, unproveable ale-infused freedom. That ended when I was casually questioned over the phone from some foreign clime, obviously lied like a cheap Chinese watch, only to have her forward video evidence brutally disproving my earlier submission of a ‘quiet night in watching tv.’ A domestic shitstorm not seen since our refugee lived here was duly unleashed.

One cunt of a device I say. (Don’t bother with the ‘Scouse-housebreaker-income-restricting’ gags either, shower of cunts.)
 

Dot of clear nail varnish on the lens. Makes every cunt look like John Merrick.

[Decimus]

3 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Whoever invented this intrusive Cunt of a doorbell needs mutilating along with any cunt that misuses them.

I’m sure the intention was ‘home security’ whereby you could see which darkie has burgled your house (via the front door…really?) Or if the DPD/Royal Mail Cunt has actually attempted to deliver whatever unnecessary shite your wife has decided to purchase. But I have two snags with it. Firstly, the chances of a conviction, according to police sources, are highly minimal as the fuckin things seldom record in sufficient detail and accuracy to secure the high level of identification necessary to get past some smart arsed overpaid brief having the flawed evidence being ruled out as ‘inadmissible to secure a guilty verdict.’

Secondly, and far more importantly imho, is the misuse of the said device. It has increasingly being used by cunt wives to prove that their husbands/partners did not, in fact, get in from the ale-house at 1020pm, sober, but rather staggered up to the door at 1155pm, drunk as cunts, and spent fifteen minutes trying to get the key in the door, after taking a much needed Geoff Hurst on the front lawn. 

Before I smashed mine to pieces two weeks ago, I was similarly persecuted by Mrs Cnut with this cunt device and it’s clever way of uploading onto the cloud so that she could rewind and play it back for all perpetuity. She often works for short periods, overseas, and it is one of the few pleasures I had left, bidding her a fond ‘goodbye’ and then having three days of guilt-free, unproveable ale-infused freedom. That ended when I was casually questioned over the phone from some foreign clime, obviously lied like a cheap Chinese watch, only to have her forward video evidence brutally disproving my earlier submission of a ‘quiet night in watching tv.’ A domestic shitstorm not seen since our refugee lived here was duly unleashed.

One cunt of a device I say. (Don’t bother with the ‘Scouse-housebreaker-income-restricting’ gags either, shower of cunts.)
 

DC, I have to be frank, I skim read this and the only thing that initially caught my eye was the bit about you having a ring door bell.

As you know, I'm not one to start an unwarranted witch hunt and to throw around salacious accusations of beastery, but you were close to getting your ear clipped as only Peeping Tom perverts have these installed. Luckily I then read through it properly and realised it was all Mrs DCs doing, the nosey bitch. 

Well done you for smashing the cunt to pieces.

 

[Witheredscrote]

@Decimus I'm sure this is @Eddie. Please confirm, and I will report him to the RSPCA

 

[Decimus]

4 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

@Decimus I'm sure this is @Eddie. Please confirm, and I will report him to the RSPCA

 

[Witheredscrote]

2 minutes ago, Decimus said:

No, Eddie hasn't got buttocks.

[Eddie]

3 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

No, Eddie hasn't got buttocks.

Goes without saying that I have reported you, disgusting 

[camberwell gypsy]

6 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Whoever invented this intrusive Cunt of a doorbell needs mutilating along with any cunt that misuses them.

I’m sure the intention was ‘home security’ whereby you could see which darkie has burgled your house (via the front door…really?) Or if the DPD/Royal Mail Cunt has actually attempted to deliver whatever unnecessary shite your wife has decided to purchase. But I have two snags with it. Firstly, the chances of a conviction, according to police sources, are highly minimal as the fuckin things seldom record in sufficient detail and accuracy to secure the high level of identification necessary to get past some smart arsed overpaid brief having the flawed evidence being ruled out as ‘inadmissible to secure a guilty verdict.’

Secondly, and far more importantly imho, is the misuse of the said device. It has increasingly being used by cunt wives to prove that their husbands/partners did not, in fact, get in from the ale-house at 1020pm, sober, but rather staggered up to the door at 1155pm, drunk as cunts, and spent fifteen minutes trying to get the key in the door, after taking a much needed Geoff Hurst on the front lawn. 

Before I smashed mine to pieces two weeks ago, I was similarly persecuted by Mrs Cnut with this cunt device and it’s clever way of uploading onto the cloud so that she could rewind and play it back for all perpetuity. She often works for short periods, overseas, and it is one of the few pleasures I had left, bidding her a fond ‘goodbye’ and then having three days of guilt-free, unproveable ale-infused freedom. That ended when I was casually questioned over the phone from some foreign clime, obviously lied like a cheap Chinese watch, only to have her forward video evidence brutally disproving my earlier submission of a ‘quiet night in watching tv.’ A domestic shitstorm not seen since our refugee lived here was duly unleashed.

One cunt of a device I say. (Don’t bother with the ‘Scouse-housebreaker-income-restricting’ gags either, shower of cunts.)
 

This is why it's never sold many in China as all 1 billion of the cunts look the same. 

Bit of casual racism there. 

[Dyslexic cnut]

4 hours ago, Decimus said:

DC, I have to be frank, I skim read this and the only thing that initially caught my eye was the bit about you having a ring door bell.

As you know, I'm not one to start an unwarranted witch hunt and to throw around salacious accusations of beastery, but you were close to getting your ear clipped as only Peeping Tom perverts have these installed. Luckily I then read through it properly and realised it was all Mrs DCs doing, the nosey bitch. 

Well done you for smashing the cunt to pieces.

 

The irony is, her single, fat pisshead Cunt brother bought it as a Xmas present for fuck’s sake. I’d see the humour and wit in this except he’s from Sunderland. @Roadkill?

[Roadkill]

23 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

The irony is, her single, fat pisshead Cunt brother bought it as a Xmas present for fuck’s sake. I’d see the humour and wit in this except he’s from Sunderland. @Roadkill?

Lure him to the nearest body of water with the false promise of a free kebab. Be prepared to hold him under for up to three minutes - the Mackem brain, whilst severely underdeveloped, can survive far longer than the human brain without oxygen.

Don't be concerned with disposal of the body - just put him in a Sunderland FC shirt and scatter some fake gold chains from a ball machine around him. The authorities will come to the natural conclusion that he was the victim of an internal conflict.

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

Lure him to the nearest body of water with the false promise of a free kebab. Be prepared to hold him under for up to three minutes - the Mackem brain, whilst severely underdeveloped, can survive far longer than the human brain without oxygen.

Don't be concerned with disposal of the body - just put him in a Sunderland FC shirt and scatter some fake gold chains from a ball machine around him. The authorities will come to the natural conclusion that he was the victim of an internal conflict.

Slow down, I’m making notes.

[Dyslexic cnut]

9 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Lure him to the nearest body of water with the false promise of a free kebab. Be prepared to hold him under for up to three minutes - the Mackem brain, whilst severely underdeveloped, can survive far longer than the human brain without oxygen.

Don't be concerned with disposal of the body - just put him in a Sunderland FC shirt and scatter some fake gold chains from a ball machine around him. The authorities will come to the natural conclusion that he was the victim of an internal conflict.

This will be problematic, Killa. Sunderland=averse to bathing/showers/running water etc. I’m thinking novichok in the cheesey-chips?

[Roadkill]

1 minute ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

This will be problematic, Killa. Sunderland=averse to bathing/showers/running water etc. I’m thinking novichok in the cheesey-chips?

The females are known to congregate at duck ponds. As long as its a static body of water he'll be willing to approach as his mating instinct triggers.

Just don't fall in the water with him.

[King Billy]

5 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

No, Eddie hasn't got buttocks.

It’s difficult to tell from this photo. Only Ed, The Vulcan and  the crocodile know for sure.

Ed?

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

Lure him to the nearest body of water with the false promise of a free kebab. Be prepared to hold him under for up to three minutes - the Mackem brain, whilst severely underdeveloped, can survive far longer than the human brain without oxygen.

Don't be concerned with disposal of the body - just put him in a Sunderland FC shirt and scatter some fake gold chains from a ball machine around him. The authorities will come to the natural conclusion that he was the victim of an internal conflict.

I know you claim to know fuck all about ‘Viz’, but this vivid mental image, along with your doodling prowess, leads me to the conclusion that are in fact the creator of ‘Tasha Slappa’, and ‘Ratboy’.

You could have put in a good word for ‘Foetus Feet’. 
 

[Witheredscrote]

7 hours ago, King Billy said:

It’s difficult to tell from this photo. Only Ed, The Vulcan and  the crocodile know for sure.

Ed?

If it were Eddie, the cunt would only be claiming that the croc ate his buttocks as well.

[Eddie]

7 hours ago, King Billy said:

It’s difficult to tell from this photo. Only Ed, The Vulcan and  the crocodile know for sure.

Ed?

I’m know as lucky Eddie…

[Witheredscrote]

14 minutes ago, Eddie said:

I’m know as lucky Eddie…

It's black cats that are lucky, not rooks.

[Decimus]

17 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

It's black cats that are lucky, not rooks.

Frank used to rub MikefuckingD's head for luck.

[Witheredscrote]

7 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Frank used to rub MikefuckingD's head for luck.

hair envy?

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Frank used to rub MikefuckingD's head for luck.

Did you get this from the Karl Pilkington series where he took that little cunt Warwick Davis to a gypsy camp? 

[Cunty BigBollox]

23 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Dot of clear nail varnish on the lens. Makes every cunt look like John Merrick.

What if you already look like John Merrick...................as well as being dyslexic?

[King Billy]

10 hours ago, Eddie said:

I’m know as lucky Eddie…

Definitely not ‘Fast Eddie’ or the croc wouldn’t have caught you. By the way Ed, I know it’s probably not the best time to bring it up again but where the fuck are my brake pads? I drove past your ‘car parts’ shop yesterday and it looks like Fatty has turned it into a Pound shop (and ‘Pound’ is stretching it if the display of worthless, useless shite in the window is any indication of what, if anything is inside). I would have stopped to see if you were about, but couldn’t as I’ve had no brakes on my imaginary M4 for over a year now.

Sort it out mate.

[JackoTC]

On 06/10/2022 at 18:47, Decimus said:

DC, I have to be frank,

 

That’s your wet dream.