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Roald Dahl and the Magic Editorial Red Pen

Last Cunt Standing

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You fuckers need to up your game. 48 hours it’s been now since the news that the forces of political correctness, so beloved of all Corner stalwarts, have decreed the dear old Norwegian anti-semite and genial purveyor of Children’s literature is to be nailed to a literary cross. 

His entire collection is to be revised and updated for the modern era. Augustus Gloop can no longer be fat, Charlie Bucket no longer poor or sharing a bed with his four grandparents, The Twits no longer ugly or stupid, and The Witches are bald but the reader is warned that this doesn’t mean they are freaks. Miss Trunchbull is no longer a fat aggressive lesbian. The list goes on and on. 

The offence police need collectively throwing off The Shard for this shit. There is nothing offensive in these books, and rather than permit the butchery, the Dahl estate should have just said “fuck you” and let them go out of print for a while. Presumably there’s going to be a black (is that allowed?) market in Dahl original strength before much longer. What is it with these wet lettuces and Children’s fiction?

Cunts, to a cis man and cis woman. 

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10 minutes ago, King Billy said:

large.7250C516-E010-435E-A7B5-2CB4FAA73EBA.jpeg.68c0d27383b7ce59cc625c71932e4eb5.jpegAirbrushing off 90% of the lard and adding big lezzer dungarees to all the known photos of this munter should keep them busy till at least the turn of the century. Fucking real life BFG slag.

Alvin Stardust would be turning in his grave if he knew how his missus Liza Goddard turned out. 


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