Child Maintenance Service (ex CSA)

[Mike Hunt]

My oh my, what a bunch of fucking money-grubbing cunts they are.

I was once contacted by the old CSA the biggest cunts on the planet (next to Rose West and Diane Abbott), who no doubt worked behind 12 inch steel doors in fortified buildings that made Fort Knox look like Fritzl's basement.  The cunts stung me based on the current Mrs Hunt's income, which had fuck all to do with her.  Made a swift phone call to my ex and it was sorted between us and we both told those cunts to go do one.

Out of curiosity I've just looked to see if they're still going and lo and behold - just like Windscale - they changed their name to try to bury their bad reputation, but shit always sticks.

In my naivete I assumed the CMS/CSA simply ensured the money was obtained from the guy then funneled to the ex's bank.  What I've just read is the utter cunts add on 20% to the poor cunt's contributions and even the recipient is then charged 4% for the privilege of having the money put in their account.

What the actual fuck? Apologies if I'm the last person on the planet that knows this.

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/payments

[Decimus]

I've heard plenty of horror stories about these cunts, from both payees and payers who have been unlucky enough to deal with them.

Inefficient, corrupt, negligent, not fit for purpose and totally inept. Just like every other public sector body, which suits me just fucking fine, as if I worked anywhere else I'd have been out on my ear ten years ago.

Lololololol.

[Guest Fatty]

15 hours ago, Mike Hunt said:

My oh my, what a bunch of fucking money-grubbing cunts they are.

I was once contacted by the old CSA the biggest cunts on the planet (next to Rose West and Diane Abbott), who no doubt worked behind 12 inch steel doors in fortified buildings that made Fort Knox look like Fritzl's basement.  The cunts stung me based on the current Mrs Hunt's income, which had fuck all to do with her.  Made a swift phone call to my ex and it was sorted between us and we both told those cunts to go do one.

Out of curiosity I've just looked to see if they're still going and lo and behold - just like Windscale - they changed their name to try to bury their bad reputation, but shit always sticks.

In my naivete I assumed the CMS/CSA simply ensured the money was obtained from the guy then funneled to the ex's bank.  What I've just read is the utter cunts add on 20% to the poor cunt's contributions and even the recipient is then charged 4% for the privilege of having the money put in their account.

What the actual fuck? Apologies if I'm the last person on the planet that knows this.

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/payments

Well this post went down well! You may as well be dead

[Dave Umbongo]

So, what you're saying is for every £100 maintenance paid it actually costs the dumb fucking twat (you) that got lucky with a pissed up slag on a night out, £120. And, the not particularly fussy, possibly blind and stupid slag has to pay £4.00. That's a fucking stonking 24% on top, how do I buy shares in the child maintenance service?

[Cuntybaws]

Are you one of the “Fathers 4 Justice” mob, then Mike, dressing up like a 42 BMI Batman in your spare time?

 

[Dave Umbongo]

3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Are you one of the “Fathers 4 Justice” mob, then Mike, dressing up like a 42 BMI Batman in your spare time?

 

If he was, he would be Leather Boy, which I think is officially listed as the worst super hero.., ever.

[Cuntybaws]

I suppose the best thing that can be said about the CMS cunts is that, unlike their big cousins in Social Services, kids don’t actually die as a result of their repeated incompetence.

The sad truth is that I fear there is nothing that can be done to improve matters in any organisation. Leaving aside my own obvious genius, when I look back at the bunch of fucking morons that I was at school with I can’t believe they now actually hold supposedly responsible jobs, in the bank, the police “service”, or even (sorry @Decimus) in the fucking council. If it wasn’t for the immigrants with their medical degrees and maths prodigy children, the nation would be completely fucked.

[Decimus]

3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I suppose the best thing that can be said about the CMS cunts is that, unlike their big cousins in Social Services, kids don’t actually die as a result of their repeated incompetence.

The sad truth is that I fear there is nothing that can be done to improve matters in any organisation. Leaving aside my own obvious genius, when I look back at the bunch of fucking morons that I was at school with I can’t believe they now actually hold supposedly responsible jobs, in the bank, the police “service”, or even (sorry @Decimus) in the fucking council. If it wasn’t for the immigrants with their medical degrees and maths prodigy children, the nation would be completely fucked.

No offence taken, I'm in total agreement. As much as I'll receive inevitable abuse for saying it, I'm one of the few competent managers in the organisation who actually wants to account for every single penny of tax payers money. In fact, much like Ron Swanson, I'm working from the inside to bring it fucking down. 

If you knew how much money was being wasted every single day, you would be appalled. As much as you and everyone else knows that it's an endless drain on the public purse, it's much, much worse than even that.

[Cuntybaws]

Can you guess which half works predominantly in public service?

Not that most of the private sector is much better; you can only employ the fuckwits that apply. Training inadequate people is like trying to teach a horse to sing.

[Dyslexic cnut]

20 hours ago, Mike Hunt said:

My oh my, what a bunch of fucking money-grubbing cunts they are.

I was once contacted by the old CSA the biggest cunts on the planet (next to Rose West and Diane Abbott), who no doubt worked behind 12 inch steel doors in fortified buildings that made Fort Knox look like Fritzl's basement.  The cunts stung me based on the current Mrs Hunt's income, which had fuck all to do with her.  Made a swift phone call to my ex and it was sorted between us and we both told those cunts to go do one.

Out of curiosity I've just looked to see if they're still going and lo and behold - just like Windscale - they changed their name to try to bury their bad reputation, but shit always sticks.

In my naivete I assumed the CMS/CSA simply ensured the money was obtained from the guy then funneled to the ex's bank.  What I've just read is the utter cunts add on 20% to the poor cunt's contributions and even the recipient is then charged 4% for the privilege of having the money put in their account.

What the actual fuck? Apologies if I'm the last person on the planet that knows this.

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/payments

Apparently their manpower is exhausted by chasing clinically obese yet highly fertile South Wales taxi drivers who officially only earn £40/week. If you’re PAYE you’re fucked as they’ll take it out at the payroll stage. It got so expensive and frustrating for me I sent the kids and their mum to Praia da Luz for a month and paid @Carl Sway to babysit. Job sorted.

[Mike Hunt]

5 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Are you one of the “Fathers 4 Justice” mob, then Mike, dressing up like a 42 BMI Batman in your spare time?

 

I'm the one in the car behind, telling them to get out of the fucking way

[Mike Hunt]

7 hours ago, Fatty said:

Well this post went down well! You may as well be dead

 

[Earl of Punkape]

On 30/04/2023 at 18:34, Mike Hunt said:

My oh my, what a bunch of fucking money-grubbing cunts they are.

I was once contacted by the old CSA the biggest cunts on the planet (next to Rose West and Diane Abbott), who no doubt worked behind 12 inch steel doors in fortified buildings that made Fort Knox look like Fritzl's basement.  The cunts stung me based on the current Mrs Hunt's income, which had fuck all to do with her.  Made a swift phone call to my ex and it was sorted between us and we both told those cunts to go do one.

Out of curiosity I've just looked to see if they're still going and lo and behold - just like Windscale - they changed their name to try to bury their bad reputation, but shit always sticks.

In my naivete I assumed the CMS/CSA simply ensured the money was obtained from the guy then funneled to the ex's bank.  What I've just read is the utter cunts add on 20% to the poor cunt's contributions and even the recipient is then charged 4% for the privilege of having the money put in their account.

What the actual fuck? Apologies if I'm the last person on the planet that knows this.

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/payments

Were you married to the “lady” with whom you sired said offspring or are they bastard?

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said:

 or are they bastard?

Me Tarzan, you queer.

Thick, fucking cunt.

[Guest Miles]

1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Were you married to the “lady” with whom you sired said offspring or are they bastard?

Hooray Henry?

[Mike Hunt]

4 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Were you married to the “lady” with whom you sired said offspring or are they bastard?

I did marrye her.

[ratcum]

fucking chinese cunts

[Dyslexic cnut]

4 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Were you married to the “lady” with whom you sired said offspring or are they bastard?

Return of the Punk…🤣

[Dyslexic cnut]

8 minutes ago, Mike Hunt said:

I did marrye her.

Always a foolish move. You’re clearly not a darkie then? @Eddie would never make such a fundamental error. His post-coital grunts and spatterings of Gentleman’s Relish are immediately followed by the sound of a door slamming. Not for him the niceties of pillow-talk and maintenance payments. He’s got it right.

[Mike Hunt]

25 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Always a foolish move. You’re clearly not a darkie then? @Eddie would never make such a fundamental error. His post-coital grunts and spatterings of Gentleman’s Relish are immediately followed by the sound of a door slamming. Not for him the niceties of pillow-talk and maintenance payments. He’s got it right.

Only on combat missions, where regrettably the only available poon is also dark.

[Eric Cuntman]

38 minutes ago, Mike Hunt said:

Only on combat missions, where regrettably the only available poon is also dark.

Ah. Black Ops

[Guest King Billy]

On 01/05/2023 at 11:08, Cunty BigBollox said:

how do I buy shares in the child maintenance service?

Unless your local off licence sells them you can’t.