ChildeHarold Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 Johnson's Fake Government at the Car Service: "just half a clutch please, I'll have the other half put in next year" at the Greengrocers: "half a carrot and half an onion please for my half stew tonight" in the Lav: No 1 never a No 2! uni: just the first year please and Part One exams, I'll leave the rest to another time, I'll fib about qualifications on my CV Gulf War: half soldiers kit and protective items romantic dinner for two: share a glass and half a bottle of pink wine, one napkin, share a pork chop, one sprout each, skip dessert face mask: cut it in half to get two out of one Dentist: "Mr ChildeHarold you need a couple of fillings (probably due to those one sugars you've been having in your tea) but NHS can only have half." ChildeHarold: "Oh wise government I will be grateful just to have one filling done." LIES AND CONFUSION: why be mean? Fill your boots. The more the better. Loads to go round. Pub Landord: "Good evening sir, what can I do you for?" Me: "A double scotch please." Landlord: "Sorry, no doubles. Only singles." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 23 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said: Johnson's Fake Government at the Car Service: "just half a clutch please, I'll have the other half put in next year" at the Greengrocers: "half a carrot and half an onion please for my half stew tonight" in the Lav: No 1 never a No 2! uni: just the first year please and Part One exams, I'll leave the rest to another time, I'll fib about qualifications on my CV Gulf War: half soldiers kit and protective items romantic dinner for two: share a glass and half a bottle of pink wine, one napkin, share a pork chop, one sprout each, skip dessert face mask: cut it in half to get two out of one LIES AND CONFUSION: why be mean? Fill your boots. The more the better. Loads to go round. See? You can do it when you try. Much better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 32 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said: The more the better. Loads to go round. Please post 'alf as much shit next year, there's a good chap. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted December 31, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 7 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Please post 'alf as much shit next year, there's a good chap. reported for derailment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted December 31, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 17 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: See? You can do it when you try. Much better. Is that one lot of praise now and (vaguely) one later, or is that one praise now and fuck off don't come back you cunt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 Leave worrying about vaccines and virology to the grownups, you stupid little spastic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 7 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said: reported for derailment That's every nomination you ever posted, that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 3 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said: Is that one lot of praise now and (vaguely) one later, or is that one praise now and fuck off don't come back you cunt? It was just praise. Your paranoia is your main obstacle. I would rather you stuck around and stopped acting a flid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: It was just praise. Your paranoia is your main 1obstacle. I would rather you stuck around and stopped acting a flid. I suspect you're in a minority of one there, Eric. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 This explains why you've only been using half a brain since you've been here,Happy New 6 months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 If ‘arold churned out ‘alf the shit he produces daily without a break, I would call that progress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 3 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: Johnson's Fake Government at the Car Service: "just half a clutch please, I'll have the other half put in next year" at the Greengrocers: "half a carrot and half an onion please for my half stew tonight" in the Lav: No 1 never a No 2! uni: just the first year please and Part One exams, I'll leave the rest to another time, I'll fib about qualifications on my CV Gulf War: half soldiers kit and protective items romantic dinner for two: share a glass and half a bottle of pink wine, one napkin, share a pork chop, one sprout each, skip dessert face mask: cut it in half to get two out of one Dentist: "Mr ChildeHarold you need a couple of fillings (probably due to those one sugars you've been having in your tea) but NHS can only have half." ChildeHarold: "Oh wise government I will be grateful just to have one filling done." LIES AND CONFUSION: why be mean? Fill your boots. The more the better. Loads to go round. I've got 'alf a mind to......er......that's it. I've got 'alf a mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I've got 'alf a mind to......er......that's it. I've got 'alf a mind. My favourite 'alf, is Garnett. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 Just now, camberwell gypsy said: I've got 'alf a mind to......er......that's it. I've got 'alf a mind. You're not welcome here tonight, Gyps. I'm on the sauce, I can't fucking go out and I'm desperately hoping for a few laughs this evening. Your Arthur Askey "Where's me Washboard?!" shit isn't going to cut it with me, so fuck off and don't log in again until the morning. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 I had half a mind to come up with some witty response to this nom but then realised it was not worth the effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 1 minute ago, Decimus said: You're not welcome here tonight, Gyps. I'm on the sauce, I can't fucking go out and I'm desperately hoping for a few laughs this evening. Your Arthur Askey "Where's me Washboard?!" shit isn't going to cut it with me, so fuck off and don't log in again until the morning. Ithangyow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: It was just praise. Your paranoia is your main obstacle. I would rather you stuck around and stopped acting a flid. Acting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted December 31, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 15 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I've got 'alf a mind to......er......that's it. I've got 'alf a mind. What ya' avin' Gyppo? Oi'll 'ave ' alf a Young's Special please mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I would rather you stuck around Through his forehead preferably. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted December 31, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: It was just praise. Your paranoia is your main obstacle. I would rather you stuck around and stopped acting a flid. I am emigrating with Stanley Johnson to French soil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted December 31, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: That's every nomination you ever posted, that is. That's one of your favourites isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted December 31, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Please post 'alf as much shit next year, there's a good chap. Thought of applying for the shit stirrer role in Entourage? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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