200,000 Ukrainians

[Roadkill]

48 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I'll tell you exactly where, the same place they place all the other detritus that flock to our shores, deprived sea side towns already riven with poverty and ethnic tensions. 

NIMBY cunts.

See this is where my local tactic of already being an unbearably shit place to live comes into effect. Two days of living in any of the hundreds of "Bed and Breakfast" homeless shelters along the seafront here and they'll be begging to return to the artillery range that their Ukrainian homes have become. The trick is to piss in their slippers when they're using the shared bathrooms. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

25 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

See this is where my local tactic of already being an unbearably shit place to live comes into effect. Two days of living in any of the hundreds of "Bed and Breakfast" homeless shelters along the seafront here and they'll be begging to return to the artillery range that their Ukrainian homes have become. The trick is to piss in their slippers when they're using the shared bathrooms. 

I’ve heard a rumour Killer that 500 Ukrainians are going to be dropped into Easington, County Durham next week with strong advice to integrate with the locals. From memory, that particular shithole is a Billy Elliot country, is it not, so we can look forward to Julie Walters type Mums teaching the newly arrived lasses how to conga to a remix of Blaydon Races before getting shitfaced on Broon and submitting to a finger blasting from Wor Jimmy Nail. 

The missed subliminal opportunity of dropping them in Horden is a desperate crime. 

I hope you fill your boots or clogs, or whatever it is you wear up there. 

[Roadkill]

3 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I’ve heard a rumour Killer that 500 Ukrainians are going to be dropped into Easington, County Durham next week with strong advice to integrate with the locals. From memory, that particular shithole is a Billy Elliot country, is it not, so we can look forward to Julie Walters type Mums teaching the newly arrived lasses how to conga to a remix of Blaydon Races before getting shitfaced on Broon and submitting to a finger blasting from Wor Jimmy Nail. 

The missed subliminal opportunity of dropping them in Horden is a desperate crime. 

I hope you fill your boots or clogs, or whatever it is you wear up there. 

LOL. You watched Billy Elliot. Puff.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

Makes more sense they move to the north of England and Wales...many Welsh towns are grey and dreary and the north is very industrial and dreary. This will be more akin to Ukraine and they'll feel more at home etc. Their accents/language are very similar to various northern english languages/accents so there can be no argument against this hopefully happening. 

[Roadkill]

8 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Makes more sense they move to the north of England and Wales...many Welsh towns are grey and dreary and the north is very industrial and dreary. This will be more akin to Ukraine and they'll feel more at home etc. Their accents/language are very similar to various northern english languages/accents so there can be no argument against this hopefully happening. 

Sellafield then. We can breed them with the Windscale survivor's descendants to see if they get superpowers.

[Hammer of Cunts]

20 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Makes more sense they move to the north of England and Wales...many Welsh towns are grey and dreary and the north is very industrial and dreary. This will be more akin to Ukraine and they'll feel more at home etc. Their accents/language are very similar to various northern english languages/accents so there can be no argument against this hopefully happening. 

There are huge, flat, featureless agricultural areas too. Anywhere in England like that?

[Last Cunt Standing]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

LOL. You watched Billy Elliot. Puff.

Ha’way man. Little Billy’s story of triumph is the most gripping tale from the North East since Neville had to pretend to be a chippy in Auf Weidersehen, Pet. How the Cunt ended up running the Oxford CID Murder squad I’ll never know. 

Bloody good show back in the day, that Auf Weidersehen Pet. And I know Local Hero gets blasted out up there all over the place, but surely this little beauty needs an airing again?

 

[Roadkill]

6 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Ha’way man. Little Billy’s story of triumph is the most gripping tale from the North East since Neville had to pretend to be a chippy in Auf Weidersehen, Pet. How the Cunt ended up running the Oxford CID Murder squad I’ll never know. 

Bloody good show back in the day, that Auf Weidersehen Pet. And I know Local Hero gets blasted out up there all over the place, but surely this little beauty needs an airing again?

 

Honestly I can't remember much of it. I think I might have watched a few episodes back in my smoking days. I only remember Billy Elliot because it encouraged a lot of the effeminate lads in school to take up ballet, resulting in their ankles needing to be broken.

[Cunty BigBollox]

4 hours ago, Decimus said:

I'll tell you exactly where, the same place they place all the other detritus that flock to our shores, deprived sea side towns already riven with poverty and ethnic tensions. 

NIMBY cunts.

I take it you mean anywhere between California (cliffs) and Pakefield (Pontins)

[Penny Farthing]

5 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Belgians don't really look like that. Those are the big wobbly costumes from 'It's A Knockout'.

Stuart Hall was a bit of a lad.

[Cuntybaws]

3 hours ago, Roadkill said:

We can breed them with the Windscale survivor's descendants to see if they get superpowers.

What could possibly go wrong?

[ProfB]

make love not war 

[Eric Cuntman]

57 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

What could possibly go wrong?

On the subject of Marvel, I've finally got round to watching 'The Punisher' series. Nearly at the end of season 1. Jon Bernthal seems a good fit for the part, but it seems to be heading more in the direction of 'Bourne' and not so much 'Death Wish', which I was hoping for.

I had to suspend disbelief in episode 1, when Frank swings a 10Lb hammer full pelt into a man's temple, then 3 or 4 overhead swings into his spine and ribs. Bernthal's a well put together lad and looks like he could bench 90kg+, and the cunt gets up off the floor!

[Cuntybaws]

10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Nearly at the end of season 1. Jon Bernthal seems a good fit for the part, but it seems to be heading more in the direction of 'Bourne' and not so much 'Death Wish', which I was hoping for.

Persevere - there's some more decent violence in season 2.

One Batch, Two Batch. Penny and Dime.

[Cuntybaws]

16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I had to suspend disbelief...

Extreme but unbelievable violence has its place. In no particular order, my current favourites are: the jetpack scene from Kickass; the church scene from Kingsman; and the battle from the opening scene of season 2 of the Umbrella Academy. Plus pretty much everything Rorschach does in Watchmen, but that goes without saying.

[Roadkill]

6 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Extreme but unbelievable violence has its place. In no particular order, my current favourites are: the jetpack scene from Kickass; the church scene from Kingsman; and the battle from the opening scene of season 2 of the Umbrella Academy. Plus pretty much everything Rorschach does in Watchmen, but that goes without saying.

Seen Invincible yet?

[Cuntybaws]

4 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Seen Invincible yet?

No, but I just added it to my list. It'll give me something to do while waiting for season 3 of The Boys.

[Decimus]

2 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I take it you mean anywhere between California (cliffs) and Pakefield (Pontins)

Obviously you fucking idiot.

[Roadkill]

6 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

No, but I just added it to my list. It'll give me something to do while waiting for season 3 of The Boys.

It's decent. Bit SJW in places and no cartoon titties, but it gets violent as fuck.

[Eric Cuntman]

52 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Extreme but unbelievable violence has its place. In no particular order, my current favourites are: the jetpack scene from Kickass; the church scene from Kingsman; and the battle from the opening scene of season 2 of the Umbrella Academy. Plus pretty much everything Rorschach does in Watchmen, but that goes without saying.

Mine would be Jake the Muss's (fenders avatar) bar fight in 'Once Were Warriors'.

The most devastating onslaught I've witnessed, fictional or real. Don't fuck with Maoris.

[Cunty BigBollox]

41 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Obviously you fucking idiot.

Isn't that where you live though?, just across the road from Caister dump......, sorry I meant household waste recycling centre. You fucking dozy cunt.

[Decimus]

35 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Isn't that where you live though?, just across the road from Caister dump......, sorry I meant household waste recycling centre. You fucking dozy cunt.

Jesus Christ, it's not even Drewsday and you're still not getting it. 

As you were, you thick wanker. Let me know once you've worked it out.

 

 

[Major Cunt]

7 hours ago, Roadkill said:

See this is where my local tactic of already being an unbearably shit place to live comes into effect. Two days of living in any of the hundreds of "Bed and Breakfast" homeless shelters along the seafront here and they'll be begging to return to the artillery range that their Ukrainian homes have become. The trick is to piss in their slippers when they're using the shared bathrooms. 

Sounds plausible to me, Killer. I particularly like the pissing in the slippers tactic, but your average slav prefers the flip-flop over the British slipper. You also need to take into account that a geordie winter is probably considered incredibly mild. Any man under sixty and owning a pair of slippers bar moccasins should be subject to extreme scrutiny. His dressing gown should be throughly searched for Werthers Originals and his name googled for any previous nonce convictions. 

I'm all for letting them in via a vetting process handled by @King Billyto check the passport photos of all women aged between 25 and 40, and use his previous experience to pick only those scoring above seven in the fuckable scale.

Sounds like a sterling idea, and Boris being a swordsman himself is sure to sign off! 🤞🏻

[Major Cunt]

6 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Let me know once you've worked it out.

I wouldn't hold my breath mate. Those suffering with the early symptoms of wet brain are barely able to find their own way home.

 

Edited March 2, 2022 by Major Cunt
Every day is Drewsday at the bungalow. Maybe he should call the obese kike for an extra damp braincell!

[King Billy]

19 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

As an Englishman, it was remiss of me to not suggest a derogatory and cleverly offensive nickname for our new arrivals... may I suggest:

'Ready Brekkers' ?

Top quality, highly experienced staff, hoping  to work in a clean, warm, professionally run ‘gentleman’s sauna/massage parlour, for minimal wages. A bit long as far as nicknames go, so I’ve abbreviated it to ‘cheap fannies for sale’