Agatha Christie

[pegleg]

Was she the queen of boredom ?

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, pegleg said:

Was she the queen of boredom ?

The question everyone’s asking. 
You’ve absolutely nailed it with this nom.

[Eric Cuntman]

2 hours ago, pegleg said:

Was she the queen of boredom ?

You've just wasted 2 hours watching 'Death On The Nile' haven't you?

I've heard it's awful. Surprising when you consider that dopey Ken's version of the one on the posh train was pretty good. Stick to 'Columbo'. Fuck Belgium. A fucking fruit bun... whoopee shit you fucking cunts, the only race on the planet who aspire to be fucking French.

[camberwell gypsy]

7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You've just wasted 2 hours watching 'Death On The Nile' haven't you?

I've heard it's awful. Surprising when you consider that dopey Ken's version of the one on the posh train was pretty good. Stick to 'Columbo'. Fuck Belgium. A fucking fruit bun... whoopee shit you fucking cunts, the only race on the planet who aspire to be fucking French.

Is Ken in it? Or was he too busy filming Belfast,  in which he managed to make his own side look like utter cunts? 

[Cuntybaws]

If you think Poirot and Marple are tedious shite, I strongly recommend you avoid her utterly awful “Tommy and Tuppence” series. Helen Keller didn’t have much to be grateful for, but at least she never had to suffer that bilge. 

[Penny Farthing]

12 hours ago, pegleg said:

Was she the queen of boredom ?

What about Enid Blyton?

[Cunty BigBollox]

12 hours ago, pegleg said:

Was she the queen of boredom ?

If she is the Queen then I've think you've secured the role of King with this piss poor effort of a nom.

[Guest Parabolic Cunting]

12 hours ago, pegleg said:

Was she the queen of boredom ?

You, cunt, are the Queen of boredom. Maybe you should throw yourself in front of the Orient Express next time it rolls by whichever ancient battleground tour you're doing.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

11 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You've just wasted 2 hours watching 'Death On The Nile' haven't you?

I've heard it's awful. Surprising when you consider that dopey Ken's version of the one on the posh train was pretty good. Stick to 'Columbo'. Fuck Belgium. A fucking fruit bun... whoopee shit you fucking cunts, the only race on the planet who aspire to be fucking French.

I have to admit to watching the odd Poirot on a Sunday afternoon, spliff, cuppa tea/coffee etc. Eric, I bought a quality wooden bird house feeder and I'm charging up my Bosch drill ready for some DIY... rather than simply put it together, I'm adapting it to fit onto the side of my half whisky barrel planter and I'll use parts of the old one (might need the jigsaw as well) The reason for said adaptation is height, as it'll appear safer for the birds, thus attracting more... I'll have all the birds soon. 

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

I have to admit to watching the odd Poirot on a Sunday afternoon, spliff, cuppa tea/coffee etc. Eric, I bought a quality wooden bird house feeder and I'm charging up my Bosch drill ready for some DIY... rather than simply put it together, I'm adapting it to fit onto the side of my half whisky barrel planter and I'll use parts of the old one (might need the jigsaw as well) The reason for said adaptation is height, as it'll appear safer for the birds, thus attracting more... I'll have all the birds soon. 

I had a barbecue made out of an aluminium beer keg, cut in half lengthways with a hinge welded along one side so it opens up like a clamshell. 

You've started me off now... I've got a square slab of 10mm brass plate in the garage, a base from an old deco lamp. I'm fucking drilling 4 holes into it and making a knuckle duster. It's your fault.

[Roadkill]

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I had a barbecue made out of an aluminium beer keg, cut in half lengthways with a hinge welded along one side so it opens up like a clamshell. 

You've started me off now... I've got a square slab of 10mm brass plate in the garage, a base from an old deco lamp. I'm fucking drilling 4 holes into it and making a knuckle duster. It's your fault.

Shape it into an axe head and sharpen the edge. Knuckle axe. You're welcome.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

25 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I had a barbecue made out of an aluminium beer keg, cut in half lengthways with a hinge welded along one side so it opens up like a clamshell. 

You've started me off now... I've got a square slab of 10mm brass plate in the garage, a base from an old deco lamp. I'm fucking drilling 4 holes into it and making a knuckle duster. It's your fault.

You could be onto a big earner there, surely @Frank and his friends would pay a lot of money for some of those bespoke knuckle dusters... It's their monthly fisting session next week.

I've got a rather nice offset smoker, bought it in the sale £279 instead of £500. Before that (as my metalwork skills are limited), I asked this bud bud ding ding for a price on a bespoke smoker/BBQ and the cunt quoted me a grand. 

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

Shape it into an axe head and sharpen the edge. Knuckle axe. You're welcome.

If I wanted to hang it on the wall and look at it, dribbling and daydreaming about a fictional zombie apocalypse, I would do that. But as I want it to be practical and easily deployable, I'll leave off all the spiky, sticky out bits that catch pockets and have a smooth brass bar across the front and a palm pad at the back

[Eric Cuntman]

54 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

You could be onto a big earner there, surely @Frank and his friends would pay a lot of money for some of those bespoke knuckle dusters... It's their monthly fisting session next week.

I've got a rather nice offset smoker, bought it in the sale £279 instead of £500. Before that (as my metalwork skills are limited), I asked this bud bud ding ding for a price on a bespoke smoker/BBQ and the cunt quoted me a grand. 

Metal fabrication isn't as daunting as people think. That BBQ I made with an angle grinder and an arc welder on low amps with an aluminium-bronze rod. Cutting straight lines with a 14000rpm, screaming death grinder takes a while and fucks up the neighbours sunday as well, so that's a bonus.

[Frank]

2 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

You could be onto a big earner there, surely @Frank and his friends would pay a lot of money for some of those bespoke knuckle dusters... It's their monthly fisting session next week.

I've got a rather nice offset smoker, bought it in the sale £279 instead of £500. Before that (as my metalwork skills are limited), I asked this bud bud ding ding for a price on a bespoke smoker/BBQ and the cunt quoted me a grand. 

Rassters, trying to appease the site’s head honcho is not only awkward reading for the entire board, it makes me feel sick. Underneath Eric’s steel toe-cap facade is a fucked up soul who’d rather be dead. Give it a rest. 
 

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, Frank said:

Underneath Eric’s steel toe-cap facade is a fucked up soul who’d rather be dead. Give it a rest. 
 

I would now you've logged in and indicated that you aren't.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

12 minutes ago, Frank said:

Rassters, trying to appease the site’s head honcho is not only awkward reading for the entire board, it makes me feel sick. Underneath Eric’s steel toe-cap facade is a fucked up soul who’d rather be dead. Give it a rest. 
 

Frank, you used to call me Raasters now it's Rassters? Are you really going senile? You've given me a nickname Frank, and it's clear to the entire board you cannot resist responding. I'm relaxing Frank, watching the birds eat the mealworms I've bought them, and I've got a couple of Magpies visiting now. I love the iridescent blue and green on them. They're free from all the shit life throws at us Frank, free to fly the skies and look after themselves... I was wondering what you thought about it all. 

[Eric Cuntman]

7 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Frank, you used to call me Raasters now it's Rassters? Are you really going senile? You've given me a nickname Frank, and it's clear to the entire board you cannot resist responding. I'm relaxing Frank, watching the birds eat the mealworms I've bought them, and I've got a couple of Magpies visiting now. I love the iridescent blue and green on them. They're free from all the shit life throws at us Frank, free to fly the skies and look after themselves... I was wondering what you thought about it all. 

He's too busy worrying about the possibility that mustard coloured socks don't match olive drab slacks. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

He really is an awful poofter, even the benders in Soho have disowned him. 

[Eric Cuntman]

17 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

He really is an awful poofter, even the benders in Soho have disowned him. 

He's not technically gay. He is a completely non-sexual being. He views his own genitalia purely as an obstacle to sartorial lines. He may have kids, but he bought them from his crack addict bedsit tenants in the 90s, to placate his 'gaw-blimey' cab driving dad who would otherwise have disowned him for being a fairy.

[Jake The Muss]

I bet she sucked a blinding cock and was transgender.

[Dyslexic cnut]

6 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

I have to admit to watching the odd Poirot on a Sunday afternoon, spliff, cuppa tea/coffee etc. Eric, I bought a quality wooden bird house feeder and I'm charging up my Bosch drill ready for some DIY... rather than simply put it together, I'm adapting it to fit onto the side of my half whisky barrel planter and I'll use parts of the old one (might need the jigsaw as well) The reason for said adaptation is height, as it'll appear safer for the birds, thus attracting more... I'll have all the birds soon. 

Drill your eye-socket. Stupid fuckwit.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

4 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Drill your eye-socket. Stupid fuckwit.

Evening DC, what you up to then? You'd love my half whisky barrel planters, £25 each yet look very expensive when you put the effort in and have an eye for detail and style. Have you got a hanging basket at least, on your high rise council flat stand up only balcony?

[Dyslexic cnut]

8 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Evening DC, what you up to then? You'd love my half whisky barrel planters, £25 each yet look very expensive when you put the effort in and have an eye for detail and style. Have you got a hanging basket at least, on your high rise council flat stand up only balcony?

Christ you’re shite.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

4 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Christ you’re shite.

Take small sips DC, pace yourself lad. I wouldn't want you frothing at the mouth and making a fool of yourself again now would I. Lol.