Fat fucking useless fucking cuntish fucking GP receptionists

[Roadkill]

I fucking hate these useless cunts. The entire system revolves around putting a piece of paper in a post box in reception with everything you need, so the first word out of the smug receptionist's mouth when you ring up with any problem is "we don't deal with the prescriptions" - only for the bone idle cunts to grudgingly log into the prescription system and figure out the problem if you sit and argue with them enough. So they do fucking "deal with prescriptions" - they just prefer to sit on their fat fucking arses browsing tictok and facebook on the reception computers all day.

 

What the fuck do these wheezing bags of thrombosed blubber even do in the modern GP surgery apart from act snide behind their little glass windows? The appointment service is entirely automated, you walk in and book yourself as present on a touch screen thingy next to the main entrance prescriptions can either be ordered the way I do them, or through some nebulous, third party app that I've never been able to get to work but they unfalteringly assure me is far, far more convenient.

 

As far as I can tell they just sit chatting behind their desk all day and detest any incursion into their deep and philosophical debates about how "My next door neighbour Jenny is getting a divorce" and how it's "probably for the best".

 

To add insult to injury, these fucking chattering flesh golems now reserve the right to know every intricate detail about you're making any kind of appointment. Fuck knows how many times my bleeding piles or disconcerting knob rash have been the subject of debate amongst the tribe, but I'd guess far more than just once.

 

How the fuck is this carry on more convenient than the old way when you got a little green piece of paper - completely undeniable in its assurity and existence - to hand over to the spotty teenager at the chemist, safe in the knowledge that you could have his head on a plate if anything with a street value on there went missing?

 

I blame the receptionist. I imagine the act of reaching into the little prescription boxes and checking that they'd been signed had been declared too much physical exertion by the swivel chair absorbing behemoths for decades.

 

I'm just going to start barging in like a druggy chav - the smack heads always seem to be seen instantly and are above the laws of any queue. 

[camberwell gypsy]

The first question  apart from your name and date of birth is what you need to see the Dr for. This isn't because they're nosey cunts, it's to ascertain whether a Dr, Nurse or Nurse Practitioner can deal with your problem. Believe me RK, they couldn't give a fuck about your genital warts or your impacted 'farmers'. They're more concerned about Corrie's Carla being fucked over by that yank trying to take over her knicker factory

 

[Last Cunt Standing]

Naturally I’ll be expected to weigh in on this subject, and I hate to disappoint. 

The fun of a GP appointment doesn’t end with the receptionists, but these days it continues well into the consultation room. Think of it as your X factor moment; you’ve got about ninety seconds to impress a bored judge in the dog days of their career with your tedious rash or burning piss before they hit the red button and you’re kicked out with a pointless script, 12 month wait for a referral or a leaflet on social prescribing. There’s a small army of other desperate souls waiting for their moment to shine and they haven’t got time for you stumbling over your lines or needing three goes at the medical equivalent of a Coldplay cover. Fuck it up, and you’re cast out into the car park of waiting six weeks for your next audition. 

It boils down to one simple fact. You get what you pay for. Collectively, you’ve entrusted the current UK Government to run the NHS and specifically General Practice in to the ground. You’re lucky to have a waiting room to sit in. Give it a year or two and you won’t get so much as a thimbleful of Calpol without selling your firstborn to a Rotherham Taxi Driver. It’s past the tipping point now. Unsavable. 

Buckle up Killer, and for Christ’s sake stay well. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

On 05/01/2018 at 01:22, Last Cunt Standing said:

When will people ever fucking learn? Take a fucking holiday in January, somewhere far away and hot. If you don't, be prepared to run the risk of a cold. If you are unlucky and catch one, there's pretty much fuck all the medical profession can do for you most of the time, and you'll end up being on their wanker list if you bang the table and cry if you don't get antibiotics in an act of pacification. The NHS is dying, can barely cope with normal levels of demand - you turning up in your jim-jams and Superman duvet 'cos you've run out Lemsip makes you not only a right Cunt, it might as well be a knife through the heart of this 70-year old monolith. 

January 2018, incidentally. 

[Stubby Pecker]

3 hours ago, Roadkill said:

I fucking hate these useless cunts. The entire system revolves around putting a piece of paper in a post box in reception with everything you need, so the first word out of the smug receptionist's mouth when you ring up with any problem is "we don't deal with the prescriptions" - only for the bone idle cunts to grudgingly log into the prescription system and figure out the problem if you sit and argue with them enough. So they do fucking "deal with prescriptions" - they just prefer to sit on their fat fucking arses browsing tictok and facebook on the reception computers all day.

 

What the fuck do these wheezing bags of thrombosed blubber even do in the modern GP surgery apart from act snide behind their little glass windows? The appointment service is entirely automated, you walk in and book yourself as present on a touch screen thingy next to the main entrance prescriptions can either be ordered the way I do them, or through some nebulous, third party app that I've never been able to get to work but they unfalteringly assure me is far, far more convenient.

 

As far as I can tell they just sit chatting behind their desk all day and detest any incursion into their deep and philosophical debates about how "My next door neighbour Jenny is getting a divorce" and how it's "probably for the best".

 

To add insult to injury, these fucking chattering flesh golems now reserve the right to know every intricate detail about you're making any kind of appointment. Fuck knows how many times my bleeding piles or disconcerting knob rash have been the subject of debate amongst the tribe, but I'd guess far more than just once.

 

How the fuck is this carry on more convenient than the old way when you got a little green piece of paper - completely undeniable in its assurity and existence - to hand over to the spotty teenager at the chemist, safe in the knowledge that you could have his head on a plate if anything with a street value on there went missing?

 

I blame the receptionist. I imagine the act of reaching into the little prescription boxes and checking that they'd been signed had been declared too much physical exertion by the swivel chair absorbing behemoths for decades.

 

I'm just going to start barging in like a druggy chav - the smack heads always seem to be seen instantly and are above the laws of any queue. 

Mrs Pecker has has some classic run ins with the malevolent she devil that loafs at our GPs. 

I think the pre requisite for this job is a total lack of human empathy, a snide attitude to the general public and borderline fascism.

"bone idle cunts", "wheezing bags of thrombosed blubber", "fucking chattering flesh golems" you nailed it killa

[Witheredscrote]

3 hours ago, Roadkill said:

I fucking hate these useless cunts. The entire system revolves around putting a piece of paper in a post box in reception with everything you need, so the first word out of the smug receptionist's mouth when you ring up with any problem is "we don't deal with the prescriptions" - only for the bone idle cunts to grudgingly log into the prescription system and figure out the problem if you sit and argue with them enough. So they do fucking "deal with prescriptions" - they just prefer to sit on their fat fucking arses browsing tictok and facebook on the reception computers all day.

 

What the fuck do these wheezing bags of thrombosed blubber even do in the modern GP surgery apart from act snide behind their little glass windows? The appointment service is entirely automated, you walk in and book yourself as present on a touch screen thingy next to the main entrance prescriptions can either be ordered the way I do them, or through some nebulous, third party app that I've never been able to get to work but they unfalteringly assure me is far, far more convenient.

 

As far as I can tell they just sit chatting behind their desk all day and detest any incursion into their deep and philosophical debates about how "My next door neighbour Jenny is getting a divorce" and how it's "probably for the best".

 

To add insult to injury, these fucking chattering flesh golems now reserve the right to know every intricate detail about you're making any kind of appointment. Fuck knows how many times my bleeding piles or disconcerting knob rash have been the subject of debate amongst the tribe, but I'd guess far more than just once.

 

How the fuck is this carry on more convenient than the old way when you got a little green piece of paper - completely undeniable in its assurity and existence - to hand over to the spotty teenager at the chemist, safe in the knowledge that you could have his head on a plate if anything with a street value on there went missing?

 

I blame the receptionist. I imagine the act of reaching into the little prescription boxes and checking that they'd been signed had been declared too much physical exertion by the swivel chair absorbing behemoths for decades.

 

I'm just going to start barging in like a druggy chav - the smack heads always seem to be seen instantly and are above the laws of any queue. 

While I do sympathise with what you are experiencing with your health care, it is , in part, your own fault for living in a overcrowded, shithole of a country. 

Fuck off.

[Wolfie]

3 hours ago, Roadkill said:

I fucking hate these useless cunts. The entire system revolves around putting a piece of paper in a post box in reception with everything you need, so the first word out of the smug receptionist's mouth when you ring up with any problem is "we don't deal with the prescriptions" - only for the bone idle cunts to grudgingly log into the prescription system and figure out the problem if you sit and argue with them enough. So they do fucking "deal with prescriptions" - they just prefer to sit on their fat fucking arses browsing tictok and facebook on the reception computers all day.

 

What the fuck do these wheezing bags of thrombosed blubber even do in the modern GP surgery apart from act snide behind their little glass windows? The appointment service is entirely automated, you walk in and book yourself as present on a touch screen thingy next to the main entrance prescriptions can either be ordered the way I do them, or through some nebulous, third party app that I've never been able to get to work but they unfalteringly assure me is far, far more convenient.

 

As far as I can tell they just sit chatting behind their desk all day and detest any incursion into their deep and philosophical debates about how "My next door neighbour Jenny is getting a divorce" and how it's "probably for the best".

 

To add insult to injury, these fucking chattering flesh golems now reserve the right to know every intricate detail about you're making any kind of appointment. Fuck knows how many times my bleeding piles or disconcerting knob rash have been the subject of debate amongst the tribe, but I'd guess far more than just once.

 

How the fuck is this carry on more convenient than the old way when you got a little green piece of paper - completely undeniable in its assurity and existence - to hand over to the spotty teenager at the chemist, safe in the knowledge that you could have his head on a plate if anything with a street value on there went missing?

 

I blame the receptionist. I imagine the act of reaching into the little prescription boxes and checking that they'd been signed had been declared too much physical exertion by the swivel chair absorbing behemoths for decades.

 

I'm just going to start barging in like a druggy chav - the smack heads always seem to be seen instantly and are above the laws of any queue. 

Agreed.

 

[Wolfie]

5 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

While I do sympathise with what you are experiencing with your health care, it is , in part, your own fault for living in a overcrowded, shithole of a country. 

Fuck off.

At least the average Frenchman won't increase their chances of having a heart attack while being forced to work another couple of years, before they reach state pension age. Lol.

Fuck off.

[Eric Cuntman]

5 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Agreed.

 

Did you spot Steven Bauer as the head of Hector’s old cartel? 
Barely recognisable as Manny from ‘Scarface’.

[Eddie]

15 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

While I do sympathise with what you are experiencing with your health care, it is , in part, your own fault for living in a overcrowded, shithole of a country. 

Fuck off.

Withers I was at the o2 with Ginger last night watching an old queen tickle the ivories, absolute rubbish, full of old ‘look at me queens’ gyrating around in their Edward Green’s and wigs, made me physically sick. 

[Roadkill]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Naturally I’ll be expected to weigh in on this subject, and I hate to disappoint. 

The fun of a GP appointment doesn’t end with the receptionists, but these days it continues well into the consultation room. Think of it as your X factor moment; you’ve got about ninety seconds to impress a bored judge in the dog days of their career with your tedious rash or burning piss before they hit the red button and you’re kicked out with a pointless script, 12 month wait for a referral or a leaflet on social prescribing. There’s a small army of other desperate souls waiting for their moment to shine and they haven’t got time for you stumbling over your lines or needing three goes at the medical equivalent of a Coldplay cover. Fuck it up, and you’re cast out into the car park of waiting six weeks for your next audition. 

It boils down to one simple fact. You get what you pay for. Collectively, you’ve entrusted the current UK Government to run the NHS and specifically General Practice in to the ground. You’re lucky to have a waiting room to sit in. Give it a year or two and you won’t get so much as a thimbleful of Calpol without selling your firstborn to a Rotherham Taxi Driver. It’s past the tipping point now. Unsavable. 

Buckle up Killer, and for Christ’s sake stay well. 

The script wasn't for me, Doc. I'm in my fucking prime - as a 33 year old Geordie I have at least another five long years of life ahead of me before I die of old age.

[Roadkill]

49 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

While I do sympathise with what you are experiencing with your health care, it is , in part, your own fault for living in a overcrowded, shithole of a country. 

Fuck off.

Fuck off before I break all your submarines.

[Witheredscrote]

1 hour ago, Eddie said:

Withers I was at the o2 with Ginger last night watching an old queen tickle the ivories, absolute rubbish, full of old ‘look at me queens’ gyrating around in their Edward Green’s and wigs, made me physically sick. 

Yes, and the thought of a boney arsed, pot bellied cunt like you, hanging out the back of her, makes me physically sick.

[Stubby Pecker]

15 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Fuck off before I break all your submarines.

Withers and his mates will already be trying to offload their underwater bathtubs to some poor unsuspecting cunts. Brit hating ones I’ll bet. Trouble is, the Irish are skint and down to their last spud and even the frogs can’t be cuntish enough to flog them to the Rushkies. However, this moral dilemma didn’t stop them (and the Spanish, Wops and Portuguese) trying to sell every last Exocet missile to those Argie cunts in 82….

Fuck the frogs and fuck off @Witheredscrote

[King Billy]

On 17/04/2023 at 18:18, Witheredscrote said:

Yes, and the thought of a boney arsed, pot bellied cunt like you, hanging out the back of her, makes me physically sick.

True, but If you’d kept yourself in a similar shape like Eddie has Withers, you might still be capable of finding some mental, drunk old hag to hang out the back of too.

[King Billy]

On 17/04/2023 at 17:02, Roadkill said:

as a 33 year old Geordie I have at least another five long years of life ahead of me before I die of old age.

No one deserves that RK. It’ll probably rain every day too.

[Decimus]

On 17/04/2023 at 21:01, Stubby Pecker said:

Withers and his mates will already be trying to offload their underwater bathtubs to some poor unsuspecting cunts. Brit hating ones I’ll bet. Trouble is, the Irish are skint and down to their last spud and even the frogs can’t be cuntish enough to flog them to the Rushkies. However, this moral dilemma didn’t stop them (and the Spanish, Wops and Portuguese) trying to sell every last Exocet missile to those Argie cunts in 82….

Fuck the frogs and fuck off @Witheredscrote

[White Cunt]

On 17/04/2023 at 16:21, Wolfie said:

At least the average Frenchman won't increase their chances of having a heart attack while being forced to work another couple of years, before they reach state pension age. Lol.

Fuck off.

Lazy garlic cunts.

[White Cunt]

On 17/04/2023 at 16:14, Witheredscrote said:

While I do sympathise with what you are experiencing with your health care, it is , in part, your own fault for living in a overcrowded, shithole of a country. 

Fuck off.

How is France, Withers? Last time I looked your shithole was under siege. 

[King Billy]

25 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Technically the frogs defeated Britain in the 100 years war, mainly because we’d totally forgotten it was happening about 98 years earlier.

[Decimus]

4 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Technically the frogs defeated Britain in the 100 years war, mainly because we’d totally forgotten it was happening about 98 years earlier.

We've invaded and gone on numerous chevuchees across their lands more times than the average French man has pissed in the street. Add to that the numerous well deserved kickings they've been on the end of courtesy of John Bull since the 18th century and it's no wonder that the likes of Withers has got a pomme de frite on his shoulder the size of Caen.

Apart from the odd raid they've never even come close to worrying the geese in our green and pleasant land, what with the Normans being about as French as an Ikea flatpack.

Vivre indeed.

[King Billy]

19 minutes ago, Decimus said:

We've invaded and gone on numerous chevuchees across their lands more times than the average French man has pissed in the street. Add to that the numerous well deserved kickings they've been on the end of courtesy of John Bull since the 18th century and it's no wonder that the likes of Withers has got a pomme de frite on his shoulder the size of Caen.

Apart from the odd raid they've never even come close to worrying the geese in our green and pleasant land, what with the Normans being about as French as an Ikea flatpack.

Vivre indeed.

It could be just pure luck that we’ve survived for so long with the constant threat of imminent destruction hanging over us from our two closest ‘military superpower’ neighbours (France and Ireland). lol lol.

[PANZER MURPHY]

On 17/04/2023 at 21:01, Stubby Pecker said:

Withers and his mates will already be trying to offload their underwater bathtubs to some poor unsuspecting cunts. Brit hating ones I’ll bet. Trouble is, the Irish are skint and down to their last spud and even the frogs can’t be cuntish enough to flog them to the Rushkies. However, this moral dilemma didn’t stop them (and the Spanish, Wops and Portuguese) trying to sell every last Exocet missile to those Argie cunts in 82….

Fuck the frogs and fuck off @Witheredscrote

Why would we need subs sputters baby..ya doin a bang up job sinking yourselves..was looking at the GDP forecasts in the new statesman..it projects 4.9% growth for me n ballys country  and a -0.2% shrinkage for y'all...lol

UNREPENTANTFENIANBAZTURDPANZERMURPHYBABY 

[Witheredscrote]

11 hours ago, King Billy said:

It could be just pure luck that we’ve survived for so long with the constant threat of imminent destruction hanging over us from our two closest ‘military superpower’ neighbours (France and Ireland). lol lol.

The French Army has better field kitchens than the British Army.

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said:

The French Army has better field kitchens than the British Army.

Let's face it, with Manky manning the garrison's potato peeler, there are pig stys that serve up better food than the British Army.